That's Not Very Punny, Sirius

Summary

Sirius, in his need to occupy himself during his time stuck in Grimmauld Place explores all the different puns that fit with peoples names, and then starts to drive people crazy with them.

Genre:
Humor
Author:
AG Stewart
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:
13+

That's Not Very Punny, Sirius

Harry, Remus, and Sirius were gathered around the table in the kitchen of twelve Grimmauld Place. The Weasleys, who were also spending their summer at Grimmauld Place were all in various other places, leaving Sirius and Remus to recall older times with Harry.

"I was very offended when James and Lily decided to name you after Moony rather than me. I'm your godfather, after all. Remus is not!" Sirius said.

Harry glanced over at Remus, who was at the counter, making tea for them. He didn't seem to hear Sirius' comment.

"But, I'm not named after Remus, am I?" Harry asked, confused.

"Oh, but you are. See, Moony is hairy, especially when it's that time of the month. Then, James goes and names you Harry. That's not very Sirius at all!"

Harry stared at him, incredulously.

"Hairy Harry. Get it?" Sirius explained.

Harry continued staring, a little perturbed.

"Just ignore him, Harry," Remus said, setting a cup of tea in front of the boy. "He's just in one of his moods."

"Moods?" Sirius repeated, glaring at his friend. "I am not Moody, Remus. That would be Mad-Eye."


"And then, she yells at James, calling him an 'arrogant toe rag!', one of her favorite insults for him. He almost deserved it this time, though. He did turn her skin blue," Sirius laughed, recalling the memory.

Harry grinned. Ron and Hermione, sitting on either side of Harry, laughed softly as well.

"Blue though? Surely you can't be serious," Hermione started.

Sirius cut her off, nodding seriously, "Oh but I am Sirius, and stop calling me Shirley!"


A knocking on the front door distracted Sirius, Remus, and Harry as they walked down the stairs toward the kitchen.

"That's probably Dora," Remus remarked speeding up slightly to get to the door first.

"Hey Remus, why don't you go get the Dora?" Sirius called out after him, chortling.

Remus ignored him and Harry rolled his eyes.


Harry and Ron listened intently at the end of a pair of Extendable Ears that were wedged under the room behind which the Order meeting was going on.

"Why would he be doing that though?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

"Well, he's a very nosey sort of fellow,"

"Actually, he's not," Sirius' voice came.

"Excuse me?"

"He can't be nosey. He hasn't got a nose!"


Ron, Hermione, and Harry were holed up in Harry and Ron's room, discussing the latest events they had managed to overhear from the Order meeting.

They stopped abruptly as the door slammed open and Sirius was revealed in the doorway. He grinned and asked, "Why so Sirius?"


Christmas had settled over Grimmauld Place, and Hermione sat with her two friends in the living room. Sirius and Remus were with them, waiting for Christmas dinner to be finished.

"Mum and Dad were talking about visiting Rome next summer," Hermione said.

"Oh yes, I went there not too long ago," Remus stated, turning to Hermione.

"Searching for your brother, Remus?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Very funny, Sirius," Remus replied dryly, then turned back to Hermione.

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