Coming Out Of The Closet - Blaine's Story
Blaine Anderson stood nervously outside his father's study, anxiously shifting his feet as he raised his hand to knock on the dark oak door.
"Come in," his father's voice called out. Blaine ran his hand back across his tightly gelled down hair, making sure that all of the dark curls where locked securely in place. Then, taking a deep breath, he grabbed ahold of the brass doorknob and opened the door.
His father, Devon Anderson, was a tall man, something of which Blaine did not receive genetically from his parent. The one thing that Blaine did share in common with his father was his dark hair and his bright, hazel eyes, and those were the only things that they had in common.
Devon Anderson was a strict, no nonsense business man. He only wore specially tailored suits with long, plain-looking (usually black) ties. Blaine personally thought that they were rather boring in comparison to the colourful bow ties that he liked to wear himself.
As Blaine entered the room, he found his father standing behind his large, oak desk, arguing with someone on his phone. His father's eyes quickly flickered over to him as Blaine shut the door behind himself and he could almost swear that he caught a flash of annoyance in his father's eyes. Nonetheless, his father still gestured for him to sit down in one of the tall, black leather chairs that sat in front of his desk. Blaine slowly made his way over to one of the chairs and sank down into it. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was almost afraid that he was going to have a heart attack.
You can do this, Blaine told himself over and over again in his head. Cooper believes in you. You can do it. Blaine thought about the conversation that he had had with his older brother the previous day. They had been sitting in his brother's room, which was quite messy and had a funny smell, though Cooper didn't seem to notice, when Blaine was finally able to work up the courage to tell his brother the truth.
"Blainey, you know I still love you, no matter what, right?" Cooper had asked him. Blaine slowly nodded his head as tears started to build up in his eyes. "Blainey, I'm always going to love you and accept you for who you are. You're my little brother. I think it's part of my contract that I have to love you or something." Blaine rolled his eyes at his brother's comment. Cooper had recently decided that he wanted to pursue acting, much to their parents' dismay, and had recently started using more acting-related terminology.
"I'm glad you told me, Blainey," Cooper smiled, pulling his younger brother in for a hug. "Have you told Mom or Dad yet? Wait, no, you're still living here, so I guess you haven't yet." Blaine's jaw dropped open, a look of pure terror filling his wide eyes.
"Little bro, I'm kidding!" Cooper laughed, patting his brother comfortingly on the shoulder. "I don't think they'd kick you out... not till you're eighteen, at least."
"Coop!" Blaine exclaimed, playfully slapping his brother's arm. "You're a jerk, you know that?"
"That may be," he grinned. "But I'm a jerk who loves you... You should tell them, you know. I know it'll be hard, heck when I told them that I wanted to go into acting, Dad nearly went on a rampage! But you need to do it, Blainey. They need to know the truth."
"Ok," Blaine sighed, running his hand back across his hair, smoothing it down. That was his nervous habit. "Thanks, Coop. For everything."
"Anytime, Squirt," he grinned, ruffling Blaine's hair with his hand.
"Hey!" Blaine exclaimed, quickly jumping away from his brother as he attempted to smooth the hair back down. "Don't touch the hair!"
"No, Jefferson, that is not acceptable!" his father's suddenly loud voice boomed, pulling Blaine back out of his thoughts. "No, Jefferson, that is it! Don't bother coming into work tomorrow because you're fired!" And with that, his father slammed the phone down, cutting off any plea from the man on the other end of the phone.
"What do you want, Blaine?" his father snapped at him as he dropped down into his own chair behind his desk. Blaine shifted uncomfortably under his father's intense stare. Talking to his father when he was already mad was not a good idea, especially since what Blaine was about to tell him would not please him at all.
"I, umm, I have something that I need to tell you," Blaine said after a moment, purposely avoiding eye contact with his father.
"If this is about wanting to switch schools again, I don't want to hear it," his father sighed. "If people are picking on you, then you need to learn to man up and show them that they have nothing to pick on. If you show them that you're weak, then they will attack. If you show them that you're strong, then they will stay away. It's that simple, Blaine. It's survival of the fittest out there. You've got to man up and proclaim that you are an Anderson and us Andersons don't let anyone walk all over us. Have I made myself clear?"
"Y-Yes, father," Blaine replied in a low voice.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that," his father snapped. "What did you say?"
"Yes, father," Blaine repeated in a slightly louder voice. His father sighed and shook his head as he turned away.
"I supposed that will have to do," he said, picking up a file from off his desk and looking at it. "You may go." Blaine didn't get up to leave. He hadn't done what he had come there to do.
After a few quiet minutes, his father finally looked up, a flicker of surprise flashing through his eyes.
"You're still here?" he asked nonchalantly, looking back down at the file again. "I thought I told you that you could go."
"Yes, father," Blaine nodded, though he knew that his father wasn't looking at him. "But that wasn't what I came here to talk to you about." His father sighed as he dropped the file back down on the desk and looked up at Blaine.
"They what did you come here to talk about?" he asked.
"Dad, ummm, well, you see, I'm..." Blaine felt his cheeks flush with heat.
"Spit it out, boy!" his father huffed. "I haven't got all day."
"Dadimgay," the words flew from his lips in a jumble.
"Blaine, you know the proper way to speak and that was mostly certainly not how you talk to someone," his father sighed, a hint of anger edging on his voice. Blaine took a deep breath, dropping his gaze as he prepared himself to tell his father the truth.
"Dad," he said, looking up to stare his father right in the eyes. "I'm gay."
The entire room suddenly fell eerily silent. Blaine swore that it was so quiet that they could have heard a pin drop.
"What?" his father's voice was so low that Blaine almost didn't hear him.
"Dad, I'm g-" Blaine started to repeat.
"I heard you!" his father snapped, cutting him off. "And that is completely ridiculous! My son is not... not... gay!" Blaine stiffened slightly at the harsh tone to his father's voice.
"Blaine," his father said, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "You are clearly just confused, which is normal for a boy your age. But Blaine, you are by no means at all a homosexual. You can't be. You're an Anderson!"
"And why would it be so wrong if I was gay?" Blaine snapped, suddenly finding the strength to talk back to his father. "I know how I feel, Dad. All those girls that I've dated, that I've kissed... well, it's never felt right! But then, when I kissed him-"
"You kissed a boy?!" his father nearly yelled, standing up and slamming his fists down on the desk. His eyes were practically flaming as he glared down at Blaine.
"Yes, I did!" Blaine snapped, standing up as well. "It's my decision who I do or do not kiss! And Dad, for the first time in my life, it finally felt right! I know how I feel, Dad. I like boys, not girls."
"This is not right," his father mumbled, starting to move the papers around on his desk. "Maybe we can call Dr. Andrews, have him diagnose you-"
"There is nothing wrong with me!" Blaine cried, snapping his father's attention back to him. "Just because I like guys doesn't mean that I have some sort of disease or mental issue. Dad, I'm gay! G-A-Y! Gay! I like boys. I like the way they taste, I like the way they look, I like everything about them! That doesn't make me a mental case! Being gay is perfectly normal!"
"Being gay is not normal!" his father yelled.
"And why not?!" Blaine yelled back. "Why is it so wrong for me to like guys?"
"Because it's not natural!" his father exclaimed. "It's not right!"
"And who are you to decide what is right and what isn't?!" Blaine snapped. "Dad, I wanted to tell you the truth because I don't want to lie to you! Every time you tried to set me up on a date with one of your clients' daughters, I went along with it to appease you, but yet you were always disappointed when I never continued to see any of them! And now you know why. Dad, I wanted you to know the truth. I was hoping that you would be able to accept that this is who I am. Cooper did, and I'm sure that Mom will too."
"Cooper knew about this?" his father's voice had gone deadly cold.
"Yes," Blaine nodded. "I told him yesterday and he told me that he still loved me just the same. And he was the one who convinced me to tell you."
"He accepted that you're gay?!" his father growled. "And here I was thinking that I had raised you both to be better than this!"
"Better than what?" Blaine exclaimed. "So you're telling me that Cooper accepting me for who I am is wrong as well? That he should have turned his back on me because my preferences are different than his? No, Dad, the only thing that is wrong here is you! That you can't accept me and love me for who I am and who I want to be. That's what is wrong here."
"Get out," his father's voice had returned to the quiet, angry tone, so quiet that Blaine almost didn't catch what he said.
"But-" Blaine started to protest.
"GET OUT!" his father screamed. "GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU'RE NO SON TO ME ANYMORE! JUST GET OUT!"
Blaine stood shocked in place, his eyes widening with surprise, his heart beat racing. Somewhere deep down inside, he had almost expected this to happen, but he had secretly hoped that it wouldn't.
"If that is what you wish," Blaine said quietly, turning and heading for the door.
"It is," was all his father said in reply as Blaine opened the door and left the room. He gently shut the door behind him and turned to head to his room to collect his stuff, but found his way blocked. Blaine slowly looked up at the thin brunette standing before him.
"Hi, Mom," he said quietly.
"Is it true?" she asked softly, her hazel green eyes filling with tears. "Is it true what you said?"
"Yes, Mom," he sighed, running his hand back across his hair. "I'm gay."
His mother didn't say anything. She just slowly nodded and bit her lip to keep the inevitable sob from escaping.
"I'll talk to him," she said once she had regained control of her emotions. "But for now, you could go stay with your Aunt Lisa in Lima."
"Okay," Blaine nodded. "I love you, Mom."
"I love you too, sweetheart," she replied, tears starting to stream down her cheeks as she pulled him into a hug. "I just wish that this hadn't happened."
"What, Dad kicking me out or me being gay?" Blaine asked a little sharply.
"Both," she replied softly, making Blaine pull away from her.
"So you don't accept me for that either?" Blaine asked, feeling his own tears pricking his eyes. His father he could understand, but his Mom too? "You're just as bad as him!"
And with that, Blaine stormed past her to his room, quickly throwing some clothes and his basic essentials into a bag, which he promptly threw over his shoulder. When he emerged back into the hall again, his mother was nowhere to be seen, though he could hear her and his father's voices arguing in his father's office. Blaine took one last look at the door before hurrying down the stairs and out the door.
"My Aunt wasn't overly pleased to have me stay with her, but it was only for a couple of days," Blaine sighed. "My Mom was able to convince my Dad to let me come back, but my relationships with both of them have been strained since then."
"That's terrible," Kurt said softly. "I couldn't imagine it if my Dad hadn't accepted me for who I am. At the time, he was all I had."
"All I had was Cooper, but he left a month later to pursue his acting career in L.A.," Blaine sighed. "My house was a very cold and unwelcoming place after he left. It wasn't until I was finally able to transfer to Dalton that I started to feel truly happy again. I had finally found a place where people loved me and accepted me for who I was. And then I met you." Blaine's hand gave Kurt's a light squeeze. "And then everything finally felt right. For the first time in years, I was finally able to stop regretting telling my Dad, because if I hadn't then I may have never met you. You complete me, Kurt Hummel."
Blaine watched as a bright smile spread across his boyfriend's face.
"I love you, Blaine Anderson," he grinned, leaning down and lightly pressing his lips against the shorter man's own lips. "And I'm so thankful for every day that I get to spend with you."
"So it's okay if we don't go to my place for Thanksgiving then?" Blaine asked softly, staring up into his boyfriend's beautiful glasz eyes. "Now that you know the truth about my family? I'd rather not have them criticize you too."
"You know that I'm going to have to meet them someday, Blaine," Kurt reminded him. "I don't think that it would be proper for your family to not attend our wedding, seeing as they are your family and all." Blaine rolled his eyes and grinned at the other man's teasing comment.
"Come here, you!" he laughed, pulling the older man over closer to him, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and resting his head on his shoulder.
"Someday," he whispered in his ear. "Someday, I am going to marry you and we'll move to New York, or somewhere else far away from here, somewhere where people won't judge us for being who we are, somewhere where people don't see it as wrong for us to be in love. And then we'll start our own family, raising our kids to know that it's okay to be whoever you want to be and that no one can tell you who you can or cannot be. And when our kids grow up, they'll teach their kids the same thing and them to their kids. Someday, people won't look at two guys together or two girls together and say, 'That's wrong', but instead they'll say, 'Look at how in love those two are'. Someday, somehow, the world will realize that there is nothing wrong with being gay. Love is love, no matter what gender you are."
"I love you so much, Blaine," Kurt sighed, turning slightly to face him. "You are so amazing. How did I ever get so lucky to find someone like you?"
"You've got it backwards," Blaine grinned. "How did I ever get so lucky to find someone so amazing like you? I love you, Kurt. You are my forever."
"As you are mine," Kurt smiled back, a happy tear glistening in his eye. "Thank you for telling me... about your family."
"I will never lie to you, Kurt," Blaine replied softly, cupping his face with his hand. "I want you to know everything about me, the good and the bad. Whether I like it or not, they are a part of my story, and you deserved to know the truth. Because I love you. And when you love someone, you have to love everything about them."
"Does that include the excessive amounts of gel you put in your hair?" Kurt teased. "Because I think you could do without all that extra product."
"You have to love everything, Kurt," Blaine grinned, pressing his lips to Kurt's. "Product and all."
"Alright," Kurt sighed teasingly. "I guess that I can live with that. But only because it's you."
"So... Thanksgiving?" Blaine asked softly after a moment.
"It's okay, Blaine," Kurt sighed softly. "We can do Thanksgiving at my place. You know that you're always welcomed there. My family loves you."
"Which is why I wouldn't want to spend Thanksgiving anywhere else," Blaine smiled. "Because I am so thankful to have found such an amazing family who accepted me when my own didn't. And to have found such an amazing boyfriend who loves me, faults and all."
"I wouldn't have you any other way," Kurt smiled back. "I'm so thankful that I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece."
Blaine grinned as he recognized the song, quickly finishing off the last line.