Trying to Adjust to Normality
Kurt stood on the scale in his underwear and scowled down at the numbers that appeared before him. He heard Carole sigh and saw her write something down in her notepad out of the corner of his eye. He knew his stepmother was disappointed that he hadn't been gaining weight as quickly as everyone would have liked. He was still dangerously underweight and struggled to consume all the food his family, boyfriend and friends thrust upon him. Kurt hated it at times as he always felt full halfway through a meal but everyone would insist he ate more food. His stomach had obviously shrunk when he had been held captive in a germ festering basement and it was struggling to consume lots of food after seven months after starvation. Kurt had tried to remind his family of this but they had just said that it was urgent that he gained weight. Carole had been monitoring his weight since New Year's Day and was concerned about the lack of pounds being gained.
It had been a couple of weeks since Kurt had returned home with his father and been reunited with his friends, family and his boyfriend. At first he was feeling so overwhelmed that he wished he could just hide in his bedroom all the time but now the youngest Hummel was slowly trying to adjust to normality and the everyday business of life. Kurt still constantly had moments when he wanted to just break down and cry when he thought about what had happened but he tried his very best to show to everyone that he was coping and they didn't have to fuss or worry about him. He knew Blaine wasn't convinced by his behaviour and knew that Kurt was actually really struggling with coming to terms of everything that had happened and the fact he was home, back in Lima. Kurt didn't know what to do. He wanted to show everyone he could manage and didn't need them fussing around him all the time like they had been doing but he couldn't go it alone. Kurt knew that maybe it was a good thing that Blaine could read him so well as that meant he had someone always there by his side no matter what.
Kurt grabbed his dressing gown off the hook on the bathroom and yanked it on as quickly as he could. He hated having his body on display as he knew he just looked like an extremely skinny, sickly boy. Kurt gave Carole a small smile before quickly scarpering back to his room to where his boyfriend was waiting for him. Blaine had already been there for an hour and always seemed to be at the Hummel-Hudson house. Burt had joked a few times that he ought to just to let Blaine move in and he practically lived with them. Kurt had just smiled at Blaine, wishing that Blaine could move in but he knew that he couldn't let his boyfriend be burdened twenty four seven with his demons. Kurt headed back into his room and couldn't help but smile at Blaine lying on his bed holding 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' above his head as he read, staring intensely at the page.
"You do realise you've picked the biggest 'Harry Potter' book to hold above your head," Kurt teased as he stood at the foot of the bed.
Blaine startled at that and very nearly dropped the book on his head, "Jesus Christ Kurt! I nearly dropped it!"
"I could see that was going to happen," Kurt replied as he absentmindedly started taking off his dressing gown, "You have only yourself to blame for being a fool and holding that book above your head."
Blaine didn't reply as he was just focusing his attention on Kurt's body. He had only see the effects on Kurt's body once or twice because his boyfriend was so concerned about how he looked and was convinced Blaine would be repulsed by his body. The Warbler could never be repulsed by his beautiful boyfriend's body; he just hated what had happened to Kurt and how it had physically affected him. Even though Kurt actually had put on a little bit of weight, he was seriously underweight and you could tell by just simply glancing at him. Blaine's eyes flittered over Kurt's body, taking in every bruise, every wound, the stitches along his hairline and the sharpness of his bones and how they were basically sticking out. The one thing that really caught Blaine's eye was the two words that had been carved into Kurt's right forearm. The words 'fag' and 'slut' gleamed in the light streaming in from the bedroom window. Blaine couldn't take his eyes on those horrendous words. He couldn't even let himself picture that bastard man carving the words into his boyfriend's skin as the thought made him sick to his stomach. He knew that Kurt had screamed for Manson to stop over and over again until he had eventually passed out with the pain. Blaine couldn't believe that there was someone in the world malicious and cruel enough to do that to another human being without any remorse.
Kurt, who had been looking at a photo on his bedside table, realised that Blaine was staring at him intently. He glanced at Blaine, wondering what on earth was wrong before suddenly realising that he was just standing in his boxers in front of his boyfriend. Any normal teenager probably wouldn't have cared so much and would have probably tried to initiate something while they were alone in the bedroom but not Kurt. The idea of someone touching him intimately made him want to curl up in a foetal position and stay there for as long as possible. Even if that person was Blaine, the thought made Kurt internally panic and want to run far away to a place where he couldn't be found. Kurt quickly grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie and threw them on, wanting to hide his body immediately. Blaine was watching Kurt with a sad look on his face, wishing he could help his boyfriend.
Kurt wrapped his arms around his tiny waist, "I'm sorry you had to see that. I just didn't think. I hope I didn't repulse you too much Blaine."
"What?" Blaine just gaped at the boy in front of him, "Kurt… you could never repulse me. I love you so much and think you're the most beautiful, sexiest and just amazing person there is. You have never repulsed me and you never will!"
"You're too sweet for your own good," Kurt muttered as he turned to look in the mirror to make sure his hair looked presentable, "How can you say I'm beautiful and sexy when I look like this?"
Blaine got up of the bed and made his way over to Kurt. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist from behind so they were both looking at their reflections in the mirror.
"Kurt you always look beautiful and sexy, no matter what," Blaine said as he rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder, "And there are so many people who will agree with me."
Kurt was silent for a moment as he looked at the two of them in the mirror. He wished he didn't look so hideous and looked like a normal human being with a normal life. Of course Blaine would complement him on his looks as that was how Blaine was. He could secretly be thinking that Kurt was repulsive but would never voice those feelings. Kurt internally sighed, knowing that Blaine would never think that and that he should try to believe what Blaine was saying.
Kurt let out a sigh externally this time, "I wish I could go back to a time when my biggest problem with my body was that I had pear hips, according to Sue Sylvester."
Blaine opened his mouth to respond but changed his mind, before eventually replying, "But you didn't know me then Kurt."
A small smile appeared on Kurt's face as he met Blaine's eyes in the mirror, "Oh Blaine. Well I'll tell you a secret. I was still worried about my pear hips at times when we had started dating and I hoped you wouldn't be put off by them."
"What are you talking about? Pear hips?" Blaine scoffed, "You've never had pear hips. Your body has always been and will always be perfect. You're practically perfect in every way."
Kurt didn't want to talk about his body anymore or the fact his boyfriend was calling him perfect. There was no way on earth that one Kurt Hummel was perfect. He was a broken boy who was damaged goods.
Kurt simply just rolled his eyes, "Quoting Mary Poppins? Really Blaine? I knew you were too cheesy for your own good."
Blaine just turned his head slightly so he could press a kiss to Kurt's cheek, "You love it really sweetie!"
There was a knock on the door before it opened slightly and Burt stuck his head around it. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of his son and Blaine wrapped up in one another.
"Boys we need to head to the hospital now if we don't want to be late," the eldest Hummel said as he watched Blaine and Kurt detach themselves from one another, "I expect you to be downstairs in no less than two minutes."
Burt left the room and headed back downstairs to join his wife. Kurt quickly shoved on his pair of converse and jumped up to accept Blaine's outstretched hand. The two boys made their way down the stairs to the front door where Carole and Burt were waiting. Kurt could hear Finn yelling at the TV as he played one of the video games he had got for Christmas. Burt smiled at his son and Blaine before opening the front door and letting his family go before him. Fortunately there were no journalists outside this time. Ever since it had been reported on the news that Kurt was home safe and sound, newspapers had been desperate to find out what had happened to him. He didn't have any obligation to talk as he was still a minor but the police just issued a statement that said Kurt had been found and was safe. They asked everyone to respect the family's privacy at this time. This didn't stop the newspaper however as they still printed stories about Kurt, wondering what had happened to him or making up stories. There had been an interview with the woman who they had bought tickets from in New York about how she had seen Kurt and his father before they flew home. A few people had said about how they saw Kurt at Port Columbus. One newspaper had wondered whether Kurt was taken because he was gay. The stories had toned down since Burt had threatened to sue the papers or take them to court unless they left his son and his family alone. Being a Congressman had helped Burt's threat due to his status as a powerful man in government.
The four of them got into the car and Burt switched the engine on before reversing off the drive. Blaine reached out and took Kurt's hand in his, knowing that Kurt was feeling nervous. It was only Kurt's second appointment at Lima Memorial as the first one had been ten days previously and was mainly about assessing Kurt and going over the information Lennox Hill hospital had sent them. Kurt didn't really know what to expect during his appointment but he hated that he still had to go to hospital appointments. They just reminded him of everything that had happened, which he just wanted to move on from but it didn't seem like the universe was letting him. Kurt didn't say anything but he squeezed Blaine's hand to let him know how much his support meant, knowing that his boyfriend were there for him.
The journey went by quickly with Burt attempting to get a conversation going a few times but only Carole and Blaine responded to his comments. Kurt just stared out of the window as he clutched at Blaine's hand. It wasn't before long that they were pulling into the hospital car park. They made their way into reception and signed in at the desk, before heading to the waiting room. Kurt gripped onto Blaine's hand the entire time, just waiting for his name to be called.
It was about twenty minutes later when a young male nurse stepped out into the room, "Kurt Hummel?"
Kurt let out a sigh before he let go of Blaine's hand and stood up. He had already decided that he would go to the appointment by himself as he felt that he needed to step up and deal with everything rather than relying on his father, his stepmother or his boyfriend.
"Son do you want us to come in with you?" Burt asked his son, not knowing what was going on in the boy's mind.
Kurt shook his head, "I'll be okay."
Blaine frowned at his boyfriend, as he knew how nervous he was, but didn't say anything to upset Kurt.
Kurt gave his loved ones a small smile before he headed over to the male nurse, who gave him a warm smile, "Hello Kurt, my name is Matty. Anyone coming in with you today?"
"No just me," Kurt replied in a small voice, already wishing that he could accept someone's help for once and allow his loved ones to come to his appointment rather than waiting for him in another room.
Matty just continued to smile at Kurt before gesturing for him to follow him through the double doors and down a corridor. Kurt trailed after the nurse, wishing he didn't have to be there and wishing he was at home instead. He had always hated hospitals and his feelings for them just kept on decreasing. He was led to a room and Matty gestured for him to sit on the bed that had been positioned for him to sit upright. Kurt quickly sat on the bed and awaited further instruction.
"Doctor Tyler will be along momentarily," Matty said with a smile before leaving Kurt alone in the hospital room.
Kurt just glanced around the room, twisting his hands over and over again in his lap, wishing Doctor Tyler was there already. She was quite a young doctor, with blonde hair and a British accent. She had told Kurt that her first name was Rose and she had moved to Ohio with her family from London when she was fifteen years old. Kurt had guessed that the Doctor was trying to make him feel comfortable by sharing information about herself. He had also guessed that Lima Memorial had issued him with a female doctor to ensure that he was more comfortable in their care. He couldn't help but admit he was grateful for that.
The door opened and Doctor Tyler appeared, smiling softly at Kurt. He couldn't help but send a small smile back to her as the patient couldn't help it that he liked his Doctor.
"Right then," the Doctor mused as she looked at some paperwork on her clipboard, "How are you doing Kurt?"
"Okay," Kurt muttered as he watched his Doctor move about the room.
Doctor Tyler tilted her head as she looked at Kurt, "Okay… that's a good start. Right Kurt, can you take your shoes off and step onto the scale? I'll also take your clothes into consideration when finding out your weight. Has your stepmother been weighing you as well?"
Kurt nodded as he quickly slipped off his shoes before getting up from the bed and standing on the scale. He watched as the Doctor frowned at the number that appeared on the scale before jotting it down on a piece of paper. It felt like déjà vu as it was basically what had happened with Carole earlier that day. After a moment or two, Kurt stepped back off the scale and headed back over to the bed to sit down.
Doctor Tyler let out a sigh, "Kurt, your weight worries me. You need to weigh the minimum of one hundred and twenty one pounds to be classed as not underweight. When you were found, your records show you weighed ninety five pounds. You now weigh one hundred and twelve pounds which means over the last couple of weeks, you've gained seventeen pounds. You're still dangerously underweight. It is good you've gained weight but you need to gain more. I know it is difficult for you but Kurt this is very important. Is there anything you'd like to say?"
"I just…" Kurt started, unsure how to phrase his next words, "It's just I'm still not used to eating a lot and when I have lots of food sent my way and I have to eat beyond the point of being full, it makes me feel sick and I have thrown up several times."
The Doctor nodded, "I understand your predicament. I'd advise you to eat what you can and do stop when you feel full. However I want you to eat as much as you can throughout the day. That means snacking constantly as well as eating dinner. I want you to have gained some weight the next time I see you, understood?"
Kurt nodded, knowing that he had to do what he was told. He did what to get rid of the extremely skinny look and just wanted to be normal.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and a woman in her thirties peered in, "Hi Rose, I'm not too early am I?"
"Of course not! Please come in!" Doctor Tyler gestured to the woman who entered the room and shut the door behind her, before turning to face her patient, "Kurt this is Doctor Alice Morgan. She's the hospital psychotherapist and she's here to help you."
The woman called Alice smiled gently at Kurt, "Hello there. As Doctor Tyler said, I'm Doctor Alice Morgan. I understand you've been through a lot and it would be helpful if you had someone to talk to. What do you think about that Kurt?"
Kurt stayed silent. He felt like he was cornered, although he knew this wasn't the women's intention. He couldn't refuse to see the therapist as that would raise questions and would get his Dad involved. He knew he had no choice but to talk to this woman about what had happened to him.
Doctor Morgan tried again, "How are you feeling about that Kurt? You can tell me anything you're thinking."
Kurt took a deep breath, "I suppose it might help."
Both doctors smiled at him, obviously thrilled with having made progress with him.
"That's excellent Kurt!" Alice said softly, "I'll give you a card with my details on and I'll leave it to you to make the first appointment. I know it is a big step but I'm here to help as much as I possibly can. I've met your father and your stepmother and both of them seem to think this will do you some good. I must warn you though that your parents will be told about me and I will be letting them know if you don't turn up to sessions."
Kurt nodded once again, already knowing that his Dad and Carole must have had something to do with this and probably had arranged for her to tell them whether or not he showed up. The Doctor handed him her business card and he slipped it into the pocket of his hoodie, still feeling like he was some kind of trapped animal. Alice Morgan smiled at Kurt before saying her goodbyes and leaving him with Doctor Tyler.
"Kurt, we only want the best for you. You've been through something incredibly traumatic and it might do you some good to open up to someone outside of your friends and family. Your father mentioned that you are a private person and are reluctant to accept help but this could do you some good," Doctor Tyler said, looking at Kurt sympathetically, "Now, I want you to come back in two weeks so I can assess how well you are doing and how much weight you have put on. I'll be taking a look at your stitches then as they may be coming out. I'm happy to see that your bruises and cuts are healing nicely. The only other issue is the words in your arm but I know you've said before that you're not sure. I just want you to know that surgery is an option."
"Thank you Doctor," Kurt said politely, "I'll come back in two weeks. I'm still not sure about the surgery but I'll have a think about it. In the meantime, I'm just going to wrap a bandage over the words."
Doctor Tyler nodded before asking Kurt a few more questions about his wellbeing. He seemed to give satisfactory answers so he was allowed to leave as long as he made a new appointment at reception. Kurt promised he would before putting his shoes back on and saying goodbye to his Doctor. He left the room without a second glance and made his way over to reception. He made an appointment for two weeks' time at the time with Doctor Tyler. He headed into the waiting room where he found his Dad, Carole and Blaine deep in conversation, looking serious. They all jumped when they saw him, causing him to frown and guess they had been talking about him.
"How did it go kiddo?" Burt asked as Kurt made his way over to the three of them.
Kurt just gave a shrug, "It was okay. I have to go back in two weeks. Doctor Tyler said I need to gain weight."
Carole nodded at his words, "You really do sweetie. You're still underweight. I've heard you be sick several times."
"The Doctor said to only eat until I feel full but also to try snacking constantly," Kurt explained before adding, "I also have to make an appointment with a psychotherapist called Alice Morgan."
They all tried to act surprised but Kurt wasn't having any of it, "I know you knew about her. She even said she had spoken to my parents."
Burt let out a sigh, "Son we're concerned about you. You've opened up to us to an extent but you're still hiding away. What happened to you was… extremely traumatic and horrific. You need to talk to someone buddy and we think this will help you."
Kurt glanced at his boyfriend who was smiling sadly at him. He was sick of everyone looking at him like that. They probably didn't even realise they were doing it.
"Can we just go please?" He asked, needing to get away from the hospital.
Burt raised his eyebrows but agreed to his son's wishes. Everyone got up and made their way out of the waiting room. Blaine entwined his fingers with Kurt's and gave his boyfriend's bandaged hand a gentle squeeze. Kurt let out a sigh before squeezing Blaine's hand back. They followed behind Burt and Carole to the car park before withdrawing their hands so they could get in their sides of the car. Their hands were entwined once more when both boys were seated in the car. Burt started the engine and pulled out of the car park.
The radio instantly switched on and a familiar song came out of the speaker: "I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you. But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide."
Kurt and Blaine's eyes met at those lyrics. Blaine couldn't get over how resigned Kurt looked. He recognised the song as 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons, a band he liked more and more every time he heard their music.
The song continued: "Look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide."
The two boys continued looking at one another. Kurt's lips twitched with slight amusement. The song was basically about him. All anyone had to do was look into his eyes and they would see how haunted he looked. Blaine was looking into Kurt's eyes at that very moment and he made the link between Kurt and the song. Every time he looked into Kurt's beautiful glaz eyes, he could see all the pain that resided there. The song also contained the line: "Don't get too close" which linked to Kurt wanting to keep people in the dark and not wanting to let his loved ones in. He wanted to battle this alone and was reluctant to accept help. If he didn't accept help however, the darkness would suffocate him. There was no telling what Kurt would do if the darkness won and took over. Blaine could feel his own eyes tearing up slightly as all these thoughts ran through his head. He wanted to do something that would cheer him and Kurt up. Suddenly an idea struck him and he knew Burt would agree as it involved getting Kurt out of the house and getting him to eat.
"Hey Burt, would you be able to drop us off at the Lima Bean?" Blaine asked, hoping the father of his boyfriend would say yes.
Burt glanced at Blaine in the rear view mirror, "Yeah sure that won't be a problem. Just give me a call when you want to be picked up."
"Of course Burt," Blaine said with a triumphant smile, "Thank you."
Ten minutes later, Kurt and Blaine were standing outside the Lima Bean and were waving to Burt and Carole as they headed back home. The two boys turned and headed into the familiar coffee shop.
"I never thought I'd say this but it's good to be back here," Kurt murmured as he joined the queue with Blaine, "It's been too long."
"Same here," Blaine said quietly as he focused his attention on the selection of cakes on display.
Kurt frowned at his boyfriend, "What do you mean? Why haven't you been to the Lima Bean in a long time?"
Blaine let out a sigh, "I couldn't come here Kurt. I tried once but everything reminded me of you. Hell everything everywhere reminded me of you. Dalton, McKinley, your house, my house, the Lima Bean, Breadstix, the mall… you were constantly of my mind. The idea of coming into the Lima Bean without you… well let me just say that it was unthinkable. The day we were reunited, I was sitting in the car park here waiting to get a call from Carole to say I could come round. I couldn't bring myself to actually enter the coffee joint so I just sat in the car. I hoped the next time I entered the Lima Bean you would be by my side and you are."
Kurt just stared at the side of Blaine's face as his boyfriend was still determinedly facing the front. He couldn't believe how sweet and loving Blaine was. The fact he always had Kurt on his mind, plus the fact he couldn't go to places because he was reminded of his missing love just showed him how lucky he was to have Blaine in his life. Kurt took a step towards Blaine and kissed him on the cheek, lingering for a moment.
"I love you," Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear before he pulled away.
Blaine finally turned to face Kurt, "I love you too. I love you so much. I don't think I'll ever stop being thankful for the fact you are by my side."
The boys were interrupted by the barista calling them so she could take their order.
Blaine stepped forward, everything falling into place, "Hi there. Can I get a grande non-fat mocha for this guy and a medium drip for myself? Can we also have two slices of your delicious cheesecake and finally can we get a cookie so I spilt it with him?"
The barista just nodded and told Blaine the cost. He immediately handed over the money and told her to keep the change. Kurt and Blaine moved along the counter so they could wait for their coffees and treats.
"You know my coffee order?" Kurt couldn't resist as he asked Blaine a question he had asked just under a year ago.
Blaine's eyes softened as he smiled back at him, "Of course I do."
The couple just smiled at one another, their faces displaying the love they had for each other. It felt like everything was back to normal as they stood in the Lima Bean waiting for their order. It had been several months ago but it felt like it could have been yesterday.
The barista called out their order and the boys went to collect it. They immediately headed over to their usual table and were happy to see it was free. They sat down in their usual seats and Blaine broke the cookie half, something he had always done when he came to the Lima Bean with his boyfriend.
"It's weird to be back here," Kurt mused, looking around the coffee shop he had been to so many times in the past, "Yet it feels like I could have been here yesterday. Sitting here with you… it just feels right."
Blaine's face lit up at Kurt's words, "It really does, doesn't it? I'm so happy we're here together again. I always thought of this place as our spot, excluding Dalton. We have so memories in here and I always smile when I hear the song 'Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop' by Landon Pigg as that's what I was doing. I was falling in love with you, even though half the time I didn't realise it. I think that's why I wanted to confess my love for you here. Obviously it didn't pan out that way but that doesn't know as we both know we love one another. I just think this coffee shop is a key place in our relationship and I hope it maintains that way."
Kurt could feel himself welling up at Blaine's speech, "I love you so much Blaine. I'm so happy I have you in my life. Whenever I think I can't love you any more, you go ahead and say something like that. My heart just melts at your words."
Blaine reached across the table to grab Kurt's hand, "I love you so much too baby. I'm so happy I have you in my life and you're here with me. The feeling's mutual Kurt."
Kurt and Blaine continued to hold hands as they tucked into their cheesecake and drank their coffees. Blaine reassured his boyfriend that he could just eat as much as he wanted as he was just happy to see Kurt eat at all.
"Kurt?" Something had been on Blaine's mind for a while, "Why don't you want your scars altered? I thought you'd be jumping at the chance."
Kurt let out a sigh, "I see where you're coming from but the truth is I just… I hate hospitals. If I have the surgery I'll be spending most of my time in hospital and I just want a break from it. I'm sure one day in the future I'll have the surgery but right now I just want to get my life back. Look I know many people would have the surgery straight away but I just…"
"Kurt I know I asked but you don't have to justify your reasoning," Blaine said as he cut off his boyfriend's rambling, "This is your choice and if you don't want the surgery right now, you don't have to have the surgery right now. It's up to you and if you want a break from hospital and want to get back to normality, that's absolute fine."
"Thank you Blaine," Kurt said, sniffing slightly as his voice broke, "Thank you for all your support. I know it's not easy at times but here you are."
Blaine could feel his own eyes welling up, "You don't have to thank me sweetheart. You're the love of my life and you'll always have my support. I'm here to help in every way possible. I know you feel that you have to protect me from your demons and you're worried about letting people in and them getting too close but I won't be scared off. I'm here to help and even if you push me away, I'll be there waiting. I'll wait forever Kurt Hummel."
A tear escaped out of Kurt's eyes as he just stared at his boyfriend, "I remember you once saying you were bad at romance. That was complete crap, wasn't it?"
Blaine let out a watery laugh, "You've made me better Kurt. You make everything better."
"You make everything better too," Kurt whispered, unable to stop the tears, "You make me better. I would be in such a worse state if it wasn't for you. You lift up my spirits and make me happy. I feel as if everything will be okay when you're by my side. I know I've said I feel I'm drowning in darkness but you're the shining beacon of light guiding me out of it."
Neither of them could stop their tears from falling, consumed with their love for one another. At this point they had entwined both of their hands and were clinging onto one another, with no intention to ever let go.
"You make me continue to fall deeper in love with you every single day Kurt Hummel," Blaine said as he brought one of Kurt's hands up to his lips to press a kiss there, "You're my entire world and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you either," Kurt whispered, "I know I'm stubborn and reluctant to accept help but I promise you that I will do my very best to open up to this therapist. Hopefully it'll lead me to be more open with you and my family. I want to do this for you."
"Baby as sweet and loving as that is, I want you to do this for you. I want you to focus on yourself," Blaine explained as he placed another kiss to Kurt's fingers, "You deserve to be selfish. You need to work on yourself but I promise you I'm going to be there for you every step of the way!"
Kurt nodded and sniffed, "Blaine sweetie can we please go? I can feel the tears coming and all I want in my life right now is to be cuddled up with you in the comfort of my bed."
Blaine can't help but chuckle at that, "I feel exactly the same. I just need to be with you. I'll give your Dad a quick call and we'll go out and sit on a bench outside to wait for him. Sound okay love?"
Kurt nodded and watched as Blaine quickly spoke to Burt on the phone. Afterwards both of them stood up at exactly the same time before clearing their table and throwing out their rubbish. Blaine took Kurt's hand in his and they started to make their way to the door when suddenly it opened to reveal Mercedes, Santana, Sam and Brittany. Their eyes widened when they saw Kurt and Blaine and they immediately smiled, happy to see their friend out and about.
"Kurt!" Mercedes cried as she pulled the boy into a hug, "It's so good to see you. You really need to get a new phone so I can text you white boy!"
Kurt wrapped his free arm around Mercedes and hugged her back for a moment before pulling away. He moved slightly closer to Blaine, needing the comfort.
"How are you Kurt?" Santana asked in a soft voice, sounding concerned.
"I'm okay thank you Santana," Kurt replied as he smiled at his friends, "It's good to see you guys. Mercedes I promise I'll get a phone soon and I'll let you all know my number."
"That's good! Oh I've missed my Dolphin!" Brittany whimpered as she stepped forward to kiss Kurt's cheek, before pulling back in confusion, "Are you okay Kurtie? Your cheek is wet."
"Whoa both of you look like you've been crying," Sam commented as the four friends observed the couple in front of them.
Blaine took control of the situation, "Look guys, Kurt and I just want to get back to his. We've had a bit of an emotional day so far and we just want to get back to his and just relax. We're really sorry to cut this reunion short but we need to go."
Mercedes looked like she was going to say something but Santana cut her off, "No worries. It's probably a good idea that you get home. Look after our boy, Blaine!"
Blaine smiled gratefully at the usually mean girl, "I promise I will. I'm sure we'll see you guys soon."
"Bye," Kurt said, trying to sound upbeat but failing.
Blaine ushered Kurt in front of him as they left the coffee shop, waving to their four friends still in the Lima Bean. Blaine led Kurt to a bench near the car park and once they had sat down, he pulled his boyfriend to him and held him close. They didn't say anything until Burt pulled up in the car. They got into the car and only spoke when Burt asked them a question. He kept glancing at the boys in the rear view mirror, wondering what on earth had happened at the Lima Bean. He could see that they were holding hands so knew everything was okay between them. Burt guessed that they had had a difficult talk and it had affected them both.
It wasn't long until Burt was pulling up into the driveway of the Hudson-Hummel house and parking the car. He watched as his son and his boyfriend got out and made their way inside, arms around one another. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of his son with someone he loved. It was all he wanted for his son. Burt got out of the car and followed the boys inside, seeing Carole sitting on the sofa where he had left her. He saw the boys going upstairs so he just collapsed on the sofa next to his wife. Carole snuggled up against her husband, knowing the turmoil he was going through. She had seen the tear marks on both Kurt and Blaine's face and immediately knew something was up between them. They had come through the house clinging to one another and hadn't said a word to anyone before retreating upstairs. She just wished there was something she could do to help her stepson.
Kurt and Blaine were curled up together under the covers of Kurt's bed with music quietly wafting through the room. No words were exchanged as the boys just held one another, needing to express their love and needing to feel closeness. Tears were shed as the emotions from earlier built up and needed to be released.
It wasn't until a while later when Blaine shifted his body slightly and broke the silence between them, "Kurt I don't know what I'd do without you. I lost you once and I can't lose you again. Even if I don't lose you physically but emotionally. You're going through an awful lot of horrific shit and I want to be there for you. All I ask is that you let me in."
Kurt lifted his head from Blaine's neck and looked into his boyfriend's hazel eyes, "I promise you Blaine… you won't lose me. Life was hell without you and I can't go through that again. Like I said, I know I'm stubborn but I will do my absolute best to overcome my stubbornness and let you in. I need you Blaine and I can't lose you. I will do everything in my power to never let you go."
Blaine couldn't resist any longer and leaned down to give his boyfriend a loving kiss. He kept it short and sweet as he didn't want to hurt Kurt in any way but to his surprise Kurt deepened the kiss and moved his hand to the nape of his neck to hold him there. Blaine shifted his arms so he was holding his body up over Kurt's but made sure he wasn't touching Kurt as he didn't want to trigger a flashback of any sorts. The kiss lasted for several minutes until the couple separated to draw breath. Blaine leaned in once more and rubbed his nose against Kurt's, smiling as his boyfriend giggled his touch.
"Kurt Hummel… I love you so damn much," Blaine whispered, his breath washing across Kurt's face.
Kurt smiled sweetly at his boyfriend, "I love you so much Blaine Devon Anderson. I don't know what I'd do without you. I know I have a long road ahead of me but I'm certain with you by my side… anything's possible."
Blaine captured Kurt's lips with his in a slow and loving kiss. They pulled apart and Blaine held Kurt against his chest, revelling in holding the love of his life against his chest. Both of them knew there were challenges ahead of them but Kurt and Blaine knew that as long as they had each other, they would be able to face any challenge they faced.
A/N: Hey guys, sorry this chapter wasn't sooner. I'm on placement at the moment, working with Year 3 and 4 in a primary school. I'm halfway through at the moment and really enjoying it. Can't wait until I have my own class!
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