Chapter 21

Whereas the conversation had already started on bad grounds, I could in hindsight safely say that it had only gone downhill after that. After Alice had explained to me what exactly a singer was – which basically was a description of my relationship with filet mignon – and who Edward’s singer was, I had been in a state of shock.

I had known Bella Swan would be trouble from the very start. Even before I had met her, I’d had that strange gut feeling that somehow, she’d screw up everything. However, I hadn’t expected her to be the reason for my best friend to go on a killing spree. I mean, I might have been afraid that she’d be the one to take Edward away from me, or perhaps the one to figure out what the Cullens were, but I certainly had not recognized her as filet mignon on first glance.

All of this, although perhaps not pleasant, had been nothing in compared to what Alice had said next.

‘I know this is all really confusing to you. And I wish I didn’t have to say this, because I really do like you, Dalia. I promise. But you have to give Edward his time and, above all; his space. I’ve seen parts of his future and to have that future happen, you cannot interfere with it.’

I looked at Alice – one of my best friends, yet now someone who didn’t at all seem to care about how I felt about things. Biting my lip, I forced back the sadness and loneliness. ‘I understand.’

The little pixie pulled me into a short hug. ‘Are you alright?’

I just nodded. I could have told her about the recurring nightmare that had been plaguing me, about how I had woken up in the middle of a panic attack, screaming Edward’s name, only to find out he wasn’t there. I could have told her how I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, thrown on the ground and stepped on repeatedly. I could have told her any and all of these things. But I didn’t. Because I knew that my part in her and Edward’s life was over and I had the creeping suspicion that she had not planned to ever inform me of her brother’s trip to Alaska.

I hadn’t tried calling Edward when he didn’t show up that night, or the next day for school. In fact, almost a week had gone by without speaking to him. The sad part of this was, of course, that he hadn’t tried to contact me either.

I had spent lunch with Georgina for the remainder of the week, had talked about school, boys and other, stupid teenage stuff and we had never spoken a word about the sudden change in my relationship with the Cullens. Georgina didn’t ask and I was more than happy not to have to explain.

Of course I knew somewhere in my mind that Alice had never meant to say that I couldn’t even sit with them anymore for lunch, or do my homework at their house, but there was something terribly awkward about spending time in the company of someone who sees you only as a figurant in their story, when they are a leading character in yours. Something almost painful about realizing that they don’t care and probably never cared to begin with. Not really at least.

Throwing my biology homework from my lap, I jumped on my ringing phone – hoping against hopes that it was Edward. ‘Hello?’

‘Hi, it’s Derek,’ my heart sank with those three words, but I forced myself to continue listening. ‘You remember the party I told you about?’

I contemplated his question. Truthfully, I didn’t. In fact, I had been aware of very few typically teenage things ever since I started hanging around with the Cullens. Because who needed boyfriends and girl drama when you could talk about what happened at the turn of the nineteenth century and immortal clans and wars and royalty? I sighed, realizing I did now more than ever.

‘Dalia? Are you still there?’

‘Yeah, sorry, my Mom just came in to ask me something. The party, yes, I definitely remember. What about it?’ Lies, lies, lies.

‘Well, my parents are out of town tonight and me and some friends got some drinks and food, and I was wondering whether you, well you know, might want to come as well? I wanted to tell you earlier, but I didn’t really get the chance to talk to you lately and..-’

Looking down at my homework, I weighed my options. One, I could stay home, do homework and pine over my empty existence and probably end up slitting my wrists in a terribly planned suicide. Two, I could go to a party that I had no desire to go to, hanging around people that I didn’t like, feeling so alone that I’d go home early, pining over my empty existence and probably end up slitting my wrists in a thoroughly planned, but still foolishly executed suicide. Those were my options, really. I let out another sigh. ‘I’ll ask if Georgina will come with me, alright? Call you back in a bit.’

‘Yeah sure, take your time!’

Clicking the red phone, I was already doubting my decision – and my mind. What had I gotten myself into? Half-heartedly, I dialed Georgina’s number, hoping that she would be otherwise engaged.


‘Yes,’ I breathed ‘I am sorry to bother you, but Derek just called me and asked me to come to his party. I know it’s probably going to be lame and that we’ll probably hate it, but I really don’t have anything better to do. So eh, would you like to go to the party with me?’

A silence ensued from the other side of the line and I knew I shouldn’t have asked her. Of course Georgina had more of a life than me. ‘That sounds nice. I’ll ask my Mom to bring us there, okay?’

‘I.. yes, thank you.’

‘Alright, I’ll call you right back. ’

I couldn’t believe that I was really here. A party in Forks, the tiny, boring town that my parents had to practically drag me to. But I was here and I had even gotten a friend to go with me. Although she looked equally awkward and scared of the idea of social interaction, I was glad that she was there. From what I’d gathered in the car on our way here, it was Georgina’s first party in.. well, ever really. Unless you counted her sixth birthday party, that is – which I didn’t.

Looking around, I had to say I was pretty impressed with Derek’s party. First of all, I was surprised by the fact that Derek hadn’t lied about the whole ‘friends’ part. I mean, he actually seemed to be less friendless than I was – not that that was such a big feat, anyway. Secondly, it looked kind of like the parties kids threw back in LA. Although a much tinier version, of course. They’d gotten all the party food you could think of, those stupid, red plastic cups you see in all those silly teenage movies and had even managed to get their hands on some real booze. Like I said; I was impressed. Getting alcohol when your under aged was a real hardship, even back in the big city. So smuggling the amounts they had in in a town like Forks was really impressive.

‘So, what do we do now?’ Georgina whispered to me as we stood in the teenager-packed hallway. That was pretty much as far as we’d come.

Shrugging, I put a hand through my ginger locks. ‘I don’t know. We get some drinks, I guess, try not to get in any fights.’

‘Fights?’ She visibly paled.

‘I’m just joking. I don’t think they will actually start fighting. At least not this early. Boys just tend to get rather ehm feely when they’ve got something to drink. The trick is to not give them any signals.’

Although she still seemed tensed, she smiled. ‘You seem to know quite a lot about these things.’

‘Living in the big city does that to you,’ I smiled at her comfortingly. ‘I won’t let any one of these perverts near to you, don’t worry.’

We both laughed as we made our way to the kitchen, where a couple of bottles of coke, beers and booze were stored, along with the infamous red cups. Even though he had managed to impress me, Derek was clearly a newbie when it came to throwing parties. Every seasoned teenage rebel knew they had to put the booze into normal cups.

‘So, ladies, are you enjoying yourself?’ Speaking of the devil.

‘It’s nice.’

I nodded ‘How did you manage to smuggle booze in?’

Derek smiled, clearly enjoying the attention he was given and proud of his own accomplishments. ‘I have my connections..’

I cocked an eyebrow, lifting one of the corners of my mouth into a half smile. ‘Meaning?’

‘My brother’s in college,’ he smiled sheepishly. ‘He agreed to buy me the alcohol if I’d do his chores.’

‘Are these all kids from our class?’ I nodded to the doorway, through which I had a perfect view on the half drunk, half pretending to be drunk, teens.

Shaking his head, he took a sip from his own drink. ‘There are also some friends from the year above us. You can hardly keep such a thing like a party a secret in a town like this. I’m surprised that no one told the chief of police yet.’

I nodded, pushing any thoughts relating the chief – and more precisely; his daughter – from my mind. I didn’t want to think of her, Edward, or any of the Cullens tonight. Tonight was me-time. And I found that I was feeling better than I had expected to. Georgina turned out to be silent, but good companion.

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