Chapter 36

Rushing to her side, Edward refused to believe it. He couldn’t. The others hunted after the vampire, but he wouldn’t leave her. Not again. They had failed her. He had failed her.

Gathering her lifeless body up in his arms, he brushed some of the hairs out of her face. For a moment, he expected her to jump up and call out a smug “Got you!“, but her struggling heartbeat betrayed the truth. She was dying. Dalia was dying and he could do nothing to prevent it. He had saved Bella and now had to pay for it with the life of another.

Edward carried her to the house, the last courtesy he could give her. He wished that he could have talked to her one last time, could have let her die at least knowing that she was loved. ’I am sorry,’ he confessed to her as he climbed the stairs, her body still limp in his arms. ‘I did a lot of things wrong in my life. But I regret not telling you how much I love you the most.’

She didn’t answer – of course she didn’t – and he realized that he’d been hoping that by some miracle, she would wake up after his confession.

‘It’s stupid, isn’t it? How some things are just doomed from the beginning? How despite how much you want things to work out, they just don’t? And the most ironic thing is that I had you from the start.’

Edward pushed open the door to the guest room – her room – and laid her down on the bed softly. He didn’t care about the blood that was tainting the bed sheets, for it would be the last remainder he’d have of her.

Sitting down on the bed beside her, he brushed his fingers over her wrist. Her heartbeat was slowing down, once in a while skipping a couple of beats before continuing its losing race. She had lost too much blood to save her soul and even too much to save whatever part of her would live on as a vampire. She would simply die. ‘I guess it’s true that you never fully realize what you’ve got until it’s gone.’

When I opened my eyes, I found myself on the floor of a dirty alley. As my last memories rushed back to me, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was Hell. Heaven it surely wasn’t. Looking around me, I was reminded of the day that I lost my family. Would I be forced to relive that day over and over in purgatory? I sat up, deciding that whatever was going to happen was better faced upright. Dusting myself off, I was surprised by how much clarity I possessed for someone who had… well, just died really. Perhaps the shock of it all just hadn’t registered yet.

Two people entered the alley at that moment and I was about to commit myself to my purgatory theory when I noticed they were a male and a female. Unconsciously, I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. As I scrambled to my feet, I tried to come up with a believable reason for why I was sitting in the middle of a dirty alley. Come to think of it, I myself needed a believable reason for why I was sitting in the middle of a dirty alley.

When they drew nearer, I noticed that they didn’t seem all that interested in me, though. In fact, they didn’t even look at me when I was but two feet away. Then, without any warning, they passed through me. Now, when I say through, I literally mean through. This, in contrary to the whole I-just-died thing, did freak me out.

Backing out of the alley, I made my way into a busy street. Yellow cabs were honking loudly and the chatter of dozens of people mixed into a loud cacophony that made me go mad. I ran over the packed sidewalk, trying to maneuver my way through the many people. As much as I tried to not go about bumping people too much, I couldn’t ignore the fact that I once again just seemed to walk through people. Somehow as if my body wasn’t solid anymore.

Finally, I jumped into a smaller, less crowded street off the main road and found myself finally breathing again. Here I sat down, watching as the sun went down behind the blocks of houses, trying to make sense of everything. What did I know?

One, I had or had not died. Alright, so perhaps that wasn’t something I knew. However, I did know that I had been close to death. Flashes of that moment passed through my mind and I shuddered at the memory. I hoped the Cullens had at least managed to tear him to pieces.

Second, I was not in Forks anymore. Wherever I really was, though, was as much a mystery to me as how I got here. I was in a big city, that much was certain. The how, where and why still eluded me for the moment.

Lastly, I seemed to be invisible and ghostlike to the people here. This, of all of my facts, somehow seemed to freak me out the most. Dead or not, I really didn’t like the idea of being a spirit entity that was doomed to roam the earth in solitude forever.

I stared up at the sky, noticing the moon had made its long journey up and I realized I must have pondered longer than I’d thought. Further down the street, I noticed neon letters and a growing line in front of a building. Must be a club or something. From the sign above it, I gathered that I was in Chicago. Now I at least had an answer to the “where”..

I was contemplating going inside – simply because I really didn’t have anything better to do – when a couple standing a few feet away from me caught my attention. She was a tall blonde, her slim body clad in a short black skirt and a pink tank top. She laughed attractively at something and her wavy hair moved with it. The other, a man, was dressed in an nice fitting jean and a black blouse. His dark hair was slid back and his aristocratic features made him look handsome and appealing. There was something about him that made me want to keep looking and a strange feeling of Deja-vu came over me.

Studying his features in closer detail, I knew with certainty that I had never seen this man before. His nose, lips and facial features, though all very attractive, formed an unfamiliar sight to me. But there was something about his eyes, which made me look again. They were a strange grey, with specks of blue swirling around in their depths, making them hypnotizing to look at. As realization hit me, my eyebrows shot into my hair line and I bolted upright. I was about to flee the site when a wave of dizziness hit me and I stumbled, falling back against the wall. Then, darkness overtook me completely and I was out before my body hit the floor.

‘You can’t do anything for her anymore, Edward.’

He was still seated at her side, her hand still tightly clutched in his. Her heart had given up hours ago, her breathing had stopped, but he still held on to the hope that she would wake up. He couldn’t believe she was really gone. ‘I know.’

‘We will wait another day, then we’ll bury her.’

Edward nodded, not wanting to face his father. The hand on his shoulder told him enough, as did the compassionate thoughts of the others. They had returned soon after the ordeal, having not been able to track down the gifted vampire. He had tricked them with fake copies of himself and had probably changed his disguise soon after. It didn’t really matter, though. Even if they had been able to kill him, the damage he caused was irreparable.

Another figure entered the room, but lingered in the doorway. Jasper. He didn’t say anything, didn’t offer any words of comfort or sympathy. Instead, he found his brother thinking something that Edward wasn’t yet ready to hear. You let her go a third time.

‘Don’t say it out loud.’

Turning back to the figure lying motionlessly beside him, he pushed another lock of hair out of her face. When touching her skin, he tried not to think of how cold she felt. How dead.

What the Hell..

He looked up, certain he’d heard the voice that he was so desperate to hear. A short surge of hope coursed through him, but it was crushed shortly when he looked at her lifeless body.
A small movement of her eyeballs.


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