A Buffy: the Vampire Slayer fan fiction tale: Jonathan and Andrew are fugitives in Mexico, where they meet Faith the fugitive Vampire Slayer, who hires them to help find the Gem of Amara.
“You know, we’re not all that far from Acapulco.”
Jonathan Levinson sighed. “Please! Stop talking about Acapulco!”
The time was around 8 in the evening. Jonathan’s and Andrew’s faces were dimly illuminated by the candle flame that burned inside the painted glass lamp at the center of the table. They sat in an outdoor restaurant, beneath the ceiling of the arcade which surrounded the Main Plaza of Oaxaca Mexico. The local people called the Plaza “El Zocalo”.
The two men in their early twenties ate a dinner of burritos pollos, aros y frijoles
refritos, while drinking from mugs of Cerveza Dos Equis. The sound of performing mariachis came from tables under another arcade, across the Zocalo from them.
Andrew’s whiny voice said, “There aren’t that many Americanos here in this pueblo. As expatriates, we fugitives from American Justice can’t avoid standing out; but in Acapulco there are so many tourists that nobody’ll notice us.”
“Listen idiot.” Jonathan spoke in exasperation. “Our money is limited. In Acapulco, they’ll charge us a lot more for everything, than we’re paying here in Oh-ahk-za-kah. Besides, you and I are just minor felons, so John Walsh isn’t gonna waste his time showing our faces on ‘America’s Most Wanted’.”
“It’s pronounced ‘Wa-ha-ka’.”
“We’ll however the hell you pronounce it, it’ll take a lot longer for the dinero to run out here, in this one burro town, than it will in the overpriced resort of Acapulco.”
They were both silent for a while.
Then Andrew asked, “And after it runs out, then what?”
“By then,” Jonathan told him, “we’ll have the Gem of Amara.”
“The ‘Gem of Amara’?” Andrew snorted. “Now who’s being an idiot?”
He spoke with a mocking tone. “’Any vampire who wears the Gem of Amara, can walk in the daylight and live like any mortal human’.”
“Exactly.” Jonathan told him, “And can you imagine how much any vampire, or vampire slayer, would pay for it? I’ve already been in touch with someone who’d like to buy it, once it’s confirmed as genuine.”
“Oh. He wants it confirmed. At least someone’s not as gullible as you.”
“The one who’s expressed interest, has never been known for gullibility. The interested party is just about the most cynical person we’ve ever met.”
Andrew whined, “It’s a myth Jonathan.”
“Maybe. Listen Andrew, if it’s a myth, we’ll find out in the village of Mitla. It’s a half hour bus ride south from here.”
“A half hour bus ride, to where we’ll spend more money than we can afford, to buy some bogus ‘Gem of Amara’.”
“That’s not what I’m looking for in Mitla. There they sell El Hueso de Magico.”
“’The Bone of Magic’? There’s more than one?”
“Yeah. When we split Sunnydale, we didn’t have time for me to go back and grab it. Now I can get a new one. Once I have it, it will lead us to the exact location.”
“I see.” Andrew asked, “You’ll be able to find the Gem of Amara, once you grab your magic bone?”
Jonathan put his head in his hand, while Andrew chuckled.
A woman stood beside the table. She spoke with a tough voice.
“I can’t believe that the only way I can keep vampires from getting their hands on the Gem of Amara, is by working with you two retards.”
The woman was in her early twenties. She had long black hair, wore dark blue slacks, and a light green jacket. The expression on her face was annoyed.
Andrew jumped up with a screech that startled the other patrons. He took a step back. Then he stood there trembling.
Jonathan remained seated.
He spoke calmly. “Good evening Faith.”
Andrew asked, “Why are you sitting there so calmly? She’s Faith, the other Vampire Slayer. She’s gonna turn us into the Authorities and have us extradited.”
“Calm down Andrew.” Jonathan told him, “She not like Buffy. She’s the ‘Dark Slayer’.”
Faith spoke, “And ‘Dark’ describes more than just the color of my hair or my clothes. It’s the side we all work for.
“We help her get what she wants,” Jonathan explained, “and she helps us get what we want.”
“What we want?” Andrew leered, “Excuse me Faith, but is it true that slaying vampires makes you horny?”
Jonathan told him, “Sit down Andrew.”
Andrew returned to his seat, where Faith smacked the back of his head.
She told him, “And you get your mind out of the gutter.”
Jonathan asked, “So tell me Faith. If we bring you the Gem of Amara, just how much are you willing to pay?”
“Nothing,” she told them “’til I’ve confirmed that it actually does what it’s supposed to do.”
Andrew said, “Excuse me Miss Faith, but what do we have to do to confirm that?”
“It’s easy kid.” She told him, “All anybody’s got to do is just stick the ring on any vampire’s finger, and then shove him outside into the sunlight. Then if he doesn’t burn up into ashes and soot, you’ll know that it’s the real thing and that it works.”
“But if he doesn’t burn up,” Andrew continued, “how do you persuade any vampire to give the ring back?”
“No problem either kid. I’m still a vampire slayer, and my stake’ll still work.”
“I’m not so sure of that.” Jonathan told her, “I’ve heard about our former classmate at Sunnydale High, Harmony Kendall. She’s now a vampire. She got to wear the Gem of Amara ring once, while she was dating Spike. While it was on her finger, she got him so annoyed that he rammed a stake through her heart, right between the...I mean...Well she didn’t turn into dust. She remained intact, and the wound vanished; and she’s now working in L.A. as a receptionist for Wolfram and Hart.”
“I’ve heard about that too.” Faith told him, “I’ll be sure to keep it in mind.”
“Good.” Jonathan went on, “I’m thinking that Andrew and I ought to take the first 2nd Class Bus to Mitla that leaves at 7:30 in the morning. You’re welcome to come along.”
“Screw that!” She told them, “I don’t want to spend any more time with you retards than is absolutely necessary. I don’t want to see either of you again, ‘til you bring me the Gem of Amara ring. Then if it checks out, I’ll pay you what I think you deserve. After that, I never want to see either of you again.”
Then Faith, who’d remained standing, turned her back on Jonathan and Andrew. She hurried away from the two, quickly moving around the tables under the arcade.
When she reached the corner, Faith turned away from the lights and noise of the Zocalo, and headed along a dark, narrow, deserted street, that was paved with uneven cobblestones. The only lighting came through a few windows.
She’d walked a block and a half, along the sidewalk that was wide enough for only one pedestrian at a time. Faith moved between a parked car, with its windows rolled up, and an open window through which a light shone. She saw the light from the window, reflected on the car’s window, but she did not see her own reflection.
She kept on moving.
Faith reached up, putting her index finger and thumb between her lips, and touched the sharp tips of her retracted fangs.
Too bad I can’t use these on both of those retards tonight, she thought. I need to keep them alive in the daytime, at least until they bring me the Gem of Amara.