All of Me and All of You.
3 months since the war between Loki and the Avengers, 3 whole months; thankfully, things seemed to cool down. Thor had returned from Asgard even if it was only to save the world and his Jane. Tony had gotten his Arc Reactor removed, causing his teammates, best friends and maybe even his family to worry. The Avengers were his family, his safe zone.
He blew up his suits for Pepper, showing her he loved her. Not even a week later, got his Arc Reactor removed. He would do anything for that woman. He took everything he loved, every last thing that made him a good guy for once….and threw it away.
So what does she do?
Tony catches her in his bed with none other than Justin Hammer. Sure the guy had gotten out of jail but really? He was so hurt that he went to his lab, and he wouldn’t come out for almost 2 weeks. He would have gone longer if not had it been for Steve who turned up and sat with him, most of the time. He told him that this was stupid and that he should grow up and face the world.
He was Tony fucking Stark, why was he letting someone beat him now?
He couldn’t just stay hidden away in the lab forever, and this, my friends is where our story begins.
“Come on Tony, let’s get upstairs and eat something,”
“Don’t feel like it,”
Tony was busy working on something for Clint so he could have more arrows, more tricks and still make it look like he was running out. Steve had been there in the lab with Tony all night and he was getting sick of the super soldier’s constant present.
He wanted to be alone, couldn’t he see that? However, he felt like maybe he belonged. Steve always kept pushing him, sometimes he wouldn’t right out push him, but Tony could tell. He would just always be there and letting Tony know in some weird way, he wasn’t alone.
“Come on, I’ll make whatever you want, promise,”
“Steve, I’m busy…just go,”
Usually Tony could come up with some kind of better come back however the playboy was growing tired. He hadn’t slept anywhere since Pepper had cheated on him with Justin. Steve knew all too well about this as JARVIS already told him. JARVIS knew Tony deep down trusted Steve so in a way, the AI trusted him too. It bothered him.
When Tony took the chance to rest his head, just a moment— then he felt two very large arms wrap around him. “You’re gonna come upstairs with me right now, no buts. We’re gonna get a drink of water and then you’re going to bed,”
“You can’t order me around Steve!”
“Like hell I can’t, you’re hurting yourself Tony! I’m worried— all of us are!”
He blinked, staring at the super soldier before he shook his head, trying to fight but all his strength was used up and no match against Captain America.
“Just….just don’t leave me too….”
“Huh? What does that mean?” Tony was now laying in Steve’s arms, his head resting on his arms and Steve cuddled his body close to his own. Steve held him bridal style, and began to bring him out of the lab. “Tony come on, what the hell do you mean?”
“Nothing Steve, nothing at all…” and with that, Tony fell asleep for the first time in 2 weeks in Steve’s arms.
Tony didn’t wake or even stir for 15 hours. Steve was beginning to get worried again but then he remembered; Tony was odd. He’d go for awhile without sleeping and then he’d sleep for a long time. So he didn’t wake his friend up. Steve knew what had had happened with Pepper and Justin so he didn’t make Tony sleep in that room.
He took him to his own room, letting him sleep in his bed. Steve had lay down with him as well, holding him as the playboy wouldn’t allow him to leave him. His words repeated a few in his head a few times.
Just…..just don’t leave me too…..
What was going on with the poor guy?
When Steve began to get restless was right when Tony’s eyes began to open and he stirred. “Uh…where the hell am I?” grunted the playboy.
That woke him up and his eyes scan around the room quickly. “Why the hell am I in your room?”
“I know you don’t sleep is because of Pepper and Justin, so I thought since you fell asleep, why don’t you just stay in my room?”
“Where are you sleeping then, Steve?”
“We’re friends Tony. I just slept here as my bed is way too big just for me.”
“Holy shit,” Tony curses under his breath but he couldn’t bring himself to pull from the soldier. Wasn’t this wrong? Besides, why the hell did it hurt him so bad to hear Steve call him a friend? He opens his eyes to look at the soldier closer. “Why the hell do you care what I do?”
Steve doesn’t even seem fazed. “I care because I know when I see a person calling out, because at one point, that was me. I only had my best friend, you know. Bucky. Well, now he’s gone because he was killed in action. Bucky was one of the best, you know. And then…he was just kinda gone— and I was that little boy looking for someone to be there.” Steve explains quietly, taking his time as his blue eyes seem to change, become darker. “I had Peggy, but it wasn’t the same— I had all America but it wasn’t the same either. No one understood that before Captain America, there was a little guy from Brooklyn.”
Tony stares at the soldier for a few moments. “I’m not following—“
“People think just because you’re Iron Man you don’t need people. That people just need you. They can’t have a hero that needs others because that’s weak in their eyes.” Steve says, not allowing Tony to speak and they both know he hates it. “But I understand and I’m letting you know you’re not alone. I’m might be Captain America but I was Steve Rogers first, just a kid from Brooklyn. Remember that Tony,”
“Thanks Steve….for everything,”
Steve nods firmly. “You’re welcome.”
Tony finally figures out just what he needs to do. He had to talk to Pepper. He doesn’t say anything and Steve’s okay with that because well, it’s Steve. Steve’s just Steve. He’s always there and Tony was sure he always will be.
This was why Tony trusts him. Steve will never leave him behind like others did so many times in the past. Steve will always be there to help him out— he always had been there anyway. Even when Tony was a kid, Steve was there.
“Anthony, you must get your head in the books! You’re a Stark, and one day you’ll be the head of Stark Industries! I must know I can leave it in trustworthy hands!”
Tony looked up at his father, Howard slowly. Howard looked mad like he always did and Tony winced. He was always getting into trouble with his father and he sometimes wondered if he was ever wanted. His mother was different, Maria. She loved him. She always stood up for him. His mother…..
“What do you want now, Anthony?” Howard growled.
He was drunk too, just perfect. Tony gulped quietly. “Is…is it okay if I uh— I’d like to make a robot…”
“What a waste of time!” Howard laughed in his son’s face. “How come you couldn’t be more like Steve? Steve would have laughed in your face! You’re so worthless!”
And with that, Howard slapped Tony against the cheek. Tony fell and Howard left the room.
Tony learned at a young age never to cry out, never to call for help…it’d never come. It would just make it worse for him, actually. He curled himself up into a ball and actually wondered if Steve Rogers— Captain America just FYI— would laugh in his face.
Of course he would. Tony was so worthless…just like his father told him…every single day.
“I-I’m so-sorry…” He mumbled sadly, bowing his head to hide.
“Tony?” He didn’t bother to look up to know it was his mother. Maria loved him to death but she could never stop Howard from hitting the poor boy. Howard would only hurt her later on and it was worse. Maria rushed to her son’s aid and pulled him close, hugging him close. “Tony, I’m sorry he did this- he doesn’t mean it! He’s just drunk…that’s it, he’s drunk….baby, mama’s here…” She cooed.
Tony made no sound. “Did….did you know Captain America, mom?”
“A little, yes, why?” his mother said.
“Would….would he hate me?”
“Of course not!” Maria hugged her son close to her smiling into his soft brown hair. “Rogers would have loved you! He loved the ones who were smart. That’s why he was so close to Howard when he was alive, did you know your father helped create him? Captain America I mean! But I’ll tell you something not many know…”
“What’s that mama?” Tony asked, looking a little curious.
Maria smiled at him, kissing his forehead. “Once upon a time, Rogers was a little guy….”
“No….really?” his eyes sparkled with the child’s curiosity.
His mother nodded. “Yes really! Rogers was so kind and sweet, all he ever wanted to do was help people! He was always sick, people frowned down upon him…however, and he never allowed this to stop him! No sir! He kept going anyway because he knew he was helping the little guys!”
“I’m a little guy…” Tony whispered.
“A little guy with a huge heart,” Maria said softly as she smiled brightly. “The little guys can change the world the most Tony— never forget that.”
Tony shakes the thought of his father away from his mind, holding onto his mother’s words. Steve’s still there, holding him and just being the Steve that Tony needs. The soldier’s quiet….too quiet.
“Err…thanks again Steve, but I gotta— I need a shower…” Tony says quietly. Steve nods and pulls away— and Tony notices just how Steve had been holding him. Tony notices the tear stances on Steve’s shirt but says nothing. Had he been crying? He shakes this thought away— he never cried.
“Hey, will you be alright?” Steve asks, causing Tony to look over. He nods and the other man drops it.
Tony goes into the shower to try and get his mind off of his father and his past. Steve had always been there for him…even before he knew he him.
This began to happen all the time. Tony would work himself to near death tired and then Steve would show up in the workshop, talk to him till Tony would pass out. He’d wake up in Steve’s bed with him beside him. They didn’t say anything about it as it just became another part of their week. Tony began to lean a little too much onto Steve for help— like he had once for his mother.
Steve had made him dinner and actually dragged Tony out of the lab to sit down, and Tony wondered what was up. The others had other stuff to do so it was just them too.
“What’s this about?” Tony asks, taking a bite of the food— and man was it good!
Steve pauses. “I’m going away for a mission. I just wanted— I know you don’t eat unless I bring it to you and drag you to the table so I thought— I’d fed you nice and good, because I know you’ll forget.” Just another thing Steve did for him. “And I won’t be back till near the end of next week…”
Tony pauses too, almost surprised…and nervous. Steve was leaving him?
“Okay,” Tony says, brushing it off like he wasn’t hurt. Steve knows better and they both know it too. “I’ll be fine Steve. You know I will.”
“Are you sure? I can ask—“
“I. Will. Be. Okay.”
Steve eyes his friend for a moment before he nods. “Okay, but you can’t call me since it’s too dangerous. I’m leaving my phone behind,”
Tony nods. “Oh, well I’ll be okay. I won’t need to call you.”
That was a total lie and they knew it as well.
“I mean it Steve! I’ll be okay,” Tony promises.
Steve nods slowly, holding out his pinky. “Promise me you’ll eat, shower and try to sleep, okay?”
Tony raises an eyebrow. “I’m not a little—“
“Promise me Tony,” Steve repeats. “I don’t want to come home and find my best friend dead— I…I can’t take that a second time. Not when I can help.”
And he knows that he’ll do anything for Steve. “I promise,” Tony tells him and does the stupid pinky promise thing. Tony knows that this was going to be hell for the both of him but he wasn’t ready for this.
Later that day, Steve left. Tony sat quietly on his couch, watching the darkness rolling into the sky and he knew somehow— somewhere, Steve was watching the sky too. That brought a smile to his face as he thinks of Steve. What was he to Steve anyway? Steve took care of him when Pepper broke him, and he was still there picking up some pieces of him. Steve saw everything about him and he knew him inside out, and he wasn’t sure if that scared him senseless…..or…..pleased him to no end.
Tony shakes these thoughts from his mind, thinking about how he would survive without Steve. He could and he would.
So Tony spends most of his time in the lab like usual but he came out on his own to keep his promise. He wasn’t sure why, but he was checking the clock like all the time to make sure he wasn’t late for dinner or a shower or anything. He was trying to keep his promise which was a first. JARVIS didn’t help him much with the keeping track, just kept him company. He was going to tell no one.
“Hey JARVIS,” Tony calls as he finishes up his pizza that he had ordered in. He swallows. The AI replies right away to his call. “Do you think Steve will be home again soon?”
“Of course I do sir,” JARVIS replies.
Tony smiles to himself as he gets up, going to put the pizza away for later and hums quietly to himself, “What am I gonna do now?” He asks once the pizza it put away.
“There is always cleaning to be done, sir.” JARVIS says causing the man to groan.
“Why can’t the maids do that?” Tony whines.
“The Captain has had the maids canceled since he does the cleaning around the tower now, sir.” JARVIS says like it’s the easiest thing to know. Tony’s mouth drops. “Sir?”
“Okay….Steve cleans my house….looks after me….cooks for me…what the hell?” Tony mumbles to himself, thinking over this info. What the hell was going on with him and Steve? “I’m okay JAR, just thinking….”
JARVIS pauses, “Of course sir.”
Even if JARVIS was a computer, he was still one of the sassiest people/computers Tony has ever met/made. “Screw it,” Tony mutters quietly. “JAR, get the suit ready— I’m going for a walk.”
“The correct term is flit, sir.” JARVIS comments and Tony swears if JARVIS was a human, he’d be smirking widely.
“Shut up,” Tony orders before he goes down to his lab to get his suit.
By day 4, Tony’s a mess.
He misses Steve so much that he actually begins to think of what to say when he sees him again. He wants to show the soldier he cares, that he’s thankful that he has him as a friend— and he wants to tell Steve everything. Tony has always had a soft spot for the super soldier; he is always reminded of this. He will always remember that Steve had been there in his heart when no one else was. He survived many things simply because he knew that one day….America would need him, Tony Stark and he’d be there to answer the call.
Still, the thought of letting Steve know of his past actually really hurts him. He wants to be close, as Steve has told him so much about before becoming Captain America that Tony knows he can trust him….just like he could when he was a kid.
Steve has always been his safe zone even when he wasn’t there. Sure in some weird way, Steve had taken Howard’s chances at love towards Tony the moment he went down into the ice but Tony didn’t blame Steve. He never did.
His mother reminded him that Tony was Howard’s son, not Steve. Steve was simply a friend and no one could replace Tony. And well he was dying, he found that video….of his father telling him that he, Tony and not Steve was his greatest creation. Not Steve! And Tony couldn’t remember being in fear of his father, he could only remember the hurt…always being compared to Steve Rogers aka Captain America. Still, in the end….Howard had chosen Tony.
Tony pauses on what he’s doing, sitting in front of his desk in the lab. When he looks down, he finds that he’s created something that looks like a shield….with an Arc Reactor with it. It reminds him too much of Steve and he throws it into the trash. He’s left alone in the dark again, with only a few lights on to light up his way.
He needs to talk to Steve.
It’s the first time he tries calling him, forgetting the soldier doesn’t have his phone on him but that’s okay because Tony just needs to get this off his chest.
He dials and waits for Steve to answer. “Steven Grant Rogers speaking— Tony go away! I’m trying to leave this message thingy— yes I’ll be there in a second! Err…..leave your number and I’ll get back to you—“
“Steveeeeeeeeeeee I’m boreddddddddddd!” Tony listens to Steve scold him for something Tony didn’t understand at the time but then chuckles. He was surprised that his friend hasn’t changed it yet. The beep sound fills his ear.
“Oh uh…hi Steve, just me— Tony calling…. I wanted to let you know that well uh- I….I miss you…okay that’s stupid let me start over—…” Tony pauses and takes in a deep breath. “Okay so maybe I should have thought this over so never mind….bye!”
He hangs up and he curses under his breath. “Sir?” came the soft call of his best friend.
“JARVIS, delete that message! Make sure Steve doesn’t hear it, okay?” Tony orders.
Tony puts his phone down and tries to get back to work, but he can’t. He can’t get his mind off of Steve and he still had another week to wait. So he gets up and heads upstairs. He’s surprised to find Bruce Banner standing there because his best friend— human one— is suppose to be in India.
“Bruce Banner….” Tony mumbles his name, surprised and shocked. “What the hell are you doing back here so early?”
Bruce chuckles. “I got some call from JARVIS asking if I could return. I came back because I see Steve had to leave for a mission.”
Tony frowns. “Yeah Steve’s gone, but he’ll be back. I’m doing fine without him.”
The two stand there awkwardly for a moment. “Have you been eating?” Bruce asks, eyeing his friend.
He laughs in reply, “Of course I have been Bruce! Sure I don’t like to sleep, but I do love to eat and I have been eating.”
That brings a smile to the other man’s face. “Good, because I thought I was going to have to force-feed you.”
They both laugh and soon join the lab and begin to do stuff, but mostly catch up.
Bruce stays with Tony and he couldn’t have asked for a better friend (other than Steve of course!) and he begins to wonder if Bruce understands how much this means to him. Bruce was sitting with Tony at the breakfast table, eating some pancakes with honey on it. Tony has his own but has blueberries inside. He loves blueberries.
“So…” Tony begins causing his friend to look up. “Since all we’ve done is eat and work in the lab, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to watch a movie?”
So that was how they ended up watching Flubber which had Robert Williams in it. They were both pointing out stupid parts of the movie but overall, both enjoyed it. Bruce laughs quietly at how poorly the movie was done and they both get an idea to make— a flying car.
Once the movie was done, Tony and Bruce rush to the lab to begin creating the world’s FIRST flying car! Tony says it couldn’t be that hard as he already has a flying super suit. Cars are easy. He says.
So 3 hours later, they have a flying car. “Wanna go test it out?” Tony asks, looking at his friend.
Bruce nods and then together they go out for a spin. It works nicely however…. Tony believes something is missing. Oh yeah…. Steve. Steve still wouldn’t be back till next week.
The next day comes easily for both men but then Bruce is called in by S.H.I.E.L.D. because they need the Hulk. Bruce had signed a paper that said S.H.I.E.L.D. would give him anything he wanted as long as he gave them the Hulk when they needed him. So Tony was left alone yet again. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with himself yet so he sat mostly in the lab. When he was eating, he’d be watching the TV to make sure somehow, Steve was safe.
Bruce would call him to say hello but it wasn’t for long and Tony felt so…useless.
So Tony goes to get some sleep because he has 3 days left till Steve comes home, he wants to be rested up to show Steve he kept his promise. And he had. He had eaten, slept and actually worked out a little here and there, just to keep his promise. Tony wanted for once to keep his promise and he wanted to show Steve that he was a good friend. He also couldn’t wait to show Steve his new flying car.
But, he wanted to call Steve first…something he did every now and then.
“Hey Steve, it’s yet again me calling— Tony wait shit, you wouldn’t know that…uh…well uh forget I said anything! I was just calling to make sure you were alive and everything…so yeah BYE!”
Tony hung up and ordered JARVIS to delete that one too. This left the man bored and he went to get a drink. He did this a lot too, not so much when Steve was around but he couldn’t help but feel the need to….it had been 3 months since he had broken up with Pepper….since she cheated on him.
Tony was being strong but he also was being a coward. He couldn’t talk to Pepper because he had found out from JARVIS that Pepper and Rhodey were seeing each other, though Rhodey broke it off. His best friend was still there but he wasn’t his best friend anymore. The only person who had been there the whole time was St— no. Steve wasn’t his best friend! What about Bruce?
It was true Bruce was one of his best friends but then again, Bruce was his Science bro. Then again, it was also true that Bruce was never around when Tony needs him most. He covers his head and grumbles, thinking about everything that could happen. Everything just came down to one thing;
Steve is his best friend.
Tony knows Steve cares deeply for him just as he does to him and if Steve needs him in anything, and then Tony would be there for him, always. Steve’s always there for him and so would Tony. He sighs softly, watching the TV play some kind of rerun when Tony hears his phone ring. He picks it up, thinking it’s Bruce. “Why hellooooo,” He says as his eyes stay on the TV. “What can I do for ya?”
“Is this Tony Stark?”
Tony pauses, “Yeah its Tony Stark. Why?”
“Its Nick Fury calling; I need you to come right now.” Nick says into the phone causing Tony to become confused.
“Okay? I’ll be there in a few,” Tony says as he hangs up and then he’s on his way. He takes his flying car because he can. He’d fight for his car if S.H.I.E.L.D. tries to take it because it belongs to him. Tony makes it to S.H.I.E.L.D. moments later.
People are rushing around like they were chickens without their heads. Tony shrugs and begins to make his way to Fury’s office. However, he runs into Natasha who looks like she’s fighting back tears. “Nat, are you okay?” Tony asks.
She nods but then shakes her head. “N-no…Steve he— he got shot…”
Tony’s world crashes down around him. Steve was hurt… He runs to where he knows he’ll find Steve. He’s laying there, connected to way too much and Tony runs to him, and his eyes are wide and tears are flowing down his cheeks. He falls down to his knees in front of Steve and he bows his head. “I-I-I’m so-sorry…” He whispers, “I-I wasn’t t-there t-to ca-catch you…”
And yet it seems even now, Steve is still trying to be there for him. “Tony,” gasp of pain rips through Steve but he fights it. “You couldn’t have helped— but everything will be okay….”
“Stop talking like that Steve! You could have died and I could have saved you!” Tony tells him, “You got hurt because I wasn’t there!”
Steve falls quiet, breathing heavily now as well. “Natasha was going to jump for me but it was me or the people Tony—“ his breath is getting heavier. “It had to be them, that’s what being a hero is, getting hurt for people who need help!”
Tony didn’t like being spoken to like that, but he knew it was true. Every stupid word Steve said was true and he shakes his head, breathing heavily. “I could have—“
“Tony,” Steve says weakly but Tony knows that he’ll control him no matter what. “No one could have done anything about it and now it’s in the past. So please, drop it?”
He didn’t want to, he wanted to help his friend and hold him and he wasn’t even sure where that came from because that wasn’t what scared him. What scared him the most was the thought that he wanted to hold Steve, cuddle him till all his fears were gone and he knew that he’d do anything to make that smile he needed so badly came back. “I can’t just drop it Steve, you’re hurt! You’re one of the best people out there and I know— I know and you shouldn’t have this done to you!”
Steve allows him to shout out what he needs to before he smiles at his friend. “If it was you falling, you’d want people to let you fall as long as the people are safe. What’s so different about it being me?”
Tony looks down, allowing his hair to cover his face as his body begins to shake. “Because Steve, I need you… I’m not a good person, not the good guy— I don’t care that I should selfish because I need you! Everyone needs you Steve Rogers but I’ve needed you before and I still need you! This whole thing— it’s a stupid act! So don’t give me shit about what’s different because there are so many differences! People need you Steve— no one needs me…”
“Don’t touch me!” Tony shouts as Steve tries to take his hand, and the brunette pulls away and there are goddamn tears in his eyes. He can’t stop himself. “Just— leave me alone!”
And he runs.
By the time Steve can return back to the Tower, Tony has locked himself away in the lab to hide from his fears but mostly Steve. He didn’t bother changing the password to the lab but he has switched everything. He doesn’t try to go and eat or sleep or anything human. He stays sitting on his stool and works himself to death.
He’s working himself to death, slowly but surely. So Steve is back at square one yet again.
“Hey Tony— I was wondering….do you want to watch a movie with me?” Steve asks, looking pretty hopeful.
“Too busy,” Tony replies gruffly and tries to get deeper into his project. He doesn’t bother to look at Steve because he knows that if he does, he’s hooked yet again. “Go ask Bruce to watch something…”
Steve sighs softly. “I got the whole team waiting— come on Tony, its Clint’s birthday!”
Tony knows that everyone’s still family, he still cares deeply but he can’t bring himself to face Steve, not after seeing him like he did. “Well tell Clint that his birthday present is hidden under the couch…”
The blond looks at the brunette for a moment. “You’re scared,”
“I’m not scared!”
“Yeah you are, I know that Clint can be a child sometimes but I know you wouldn’t miss his birthday. You’ve been planning it for months!”
“You don’t know anything Steve!”
Steve is shaking now from anger and hurt. “I heard from Rhodey what Howard use to do to you….and I know about how you always needed someone—“
Tony gets really angry and whips around to glare. “Shut up right now! You don’t know anything about me Steve! No one can understand and no one will understand so shut up before you say something that you will regret!”
Steve can see the pain written on Tony’s face and he can see that the brunette is fighting back tears but he’s also angry so there’s little he can do.
“Just leave me alone!” Tony orders.
“No,” Steve says causing the other man to stumble back a little, surprise written on his face. “I want to help you Tony, and I very damn will. You tell me what Howard did—“
“I can’t talk about it Steve and I don’t want to! I can’t!”
Steve can see how scared Tony actually is and he seems like a little rabbit waiting for his chance to bolt. “Yes you can, nothing is gonna hurt you.”Steve takes this as his chance and pulls Tony into a hug. “I won’t let anything hurt you ever again Tony.”
“Steve….” Tony whimpers and soon breaks down, crying because Steve knows and Steve’s always there and Steve’s his best friend. He can trust him. Steve’s…..Steve’s always gonna be there….
They hold one another till Tony passes out from how little sleep he’s had and Steve doesn’t mind because he can see that somehow, Tony’s walls are breaking down and he knows Tony needs to know he’s safe.
“You’re so weak and useless! How could I have such an awful son like you? Steve was so much better, he was nicer and he was kinder and he was the best thing that has ever happened to me! Why the hell didn’t your mother just take care of the problem when she could have?”
A bloody beaten Tony Stark stood in front of his drunken Father who wasn’t pleased. Tony had gotten into yet another fight with some kid who dare say that he was lucky and just some rich snob. Howard had ordered Maria away well he ‘taught their son a lesson’.
“I can’t even look at you,” Howard growled, “How the hell am I to leave my company in YOUR hands when you can barely hold your own!?”
Tony allowed Howard to hit him but he didn’t give him the pleasure of seeing him in pain. No way. “I gave the kid a broken leg,”
“I’m not talking about that and you damn well know it.” Howard growled again.
He knew. Oh how he knew. He couldn’t take it well when people said shit about him.
“Just get out of here Anthony,” Howard ordered and Tony left.
His mother was waiting for him with some cloths and some hot chocolate. “Tony, baby, are you okay?” Maria asked looking her son over.
Tony nodded. “Yeah,”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah mom, I am.”
“Did he…he hurt you?”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk about it! I just can’t, and you know it!”
Tony stormed off. He never got to tell his mother he was sorry because the next day….she was killed in a car crash.
Tony woke to the screams that left his mouth and he was panting, his eyes large and in fear. He couldn’t think straight and all he could remember how he had felt afterwards, upset with his mother. How he felt about her dying…how she would never return to him. He began to whimper as he thought of his mother— how beautiful and how amazing she had once been, and how he never devised her.
Neither did his father but she said that when they first met, Howard had been the kindest person ever. She had said that it was love at first sight.
Tony felt someone wrap their arms around him, pulling him close. “Shh….it’s gonna be okay….just a nightmare….” He hears and then he’s against this person’s chest— it’s a guy that’s for sure as there were no boobs but that voice… Tony whimpers and soon sees that it’s Steve. Steve holds him close, murmuring that he’ll always be there to protect him.
“S-Steve?” his voice is shaky but Steve nods.
“Yeah Tony…it’s me…” Steve whispers as he holds Tony close. “It was just a nightmare…”
But it wasn’t. It was a memory….. Steve didn’t need to know that and Tony stays quiet.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Not really…” Tony whispers.
“Why? I always thought it helped to talk about nightmares….” Steve says softly, yawning. Tony looks at the clock to find that it was early, 3:37am.
Tony closes his eyes. “It….it was about my mom….”
“What about your mom?”
“It was a memory….my dad— he was pissed at me for getting into a fight with some kids and then….” His voice was getting thick with feeling. “I told my mother off and shortly after…she was killed in a car crash.”
Steve says nothing and then Tony just wants him to say something— tell him that everything will be okay. He knows that it won’t happen but then Steve pulls him closer. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again Tony….I promise.”
It’s the nicest thing someone has ever said to him and it brings tears to his eyes. “Thank…thank you…”
Steve didn’t say you’re welcome because he knew that right then, Tony wasn’t ready for words. He just needed someone to tell them that he was cared for. The two fell asleep together again and Tony couldn’t help but nuzzle into Steve’s chest. Safe. Was the only word he could think of.
2 weeks since Tony’s nightmare. Steve had taken to going to sleep with Tony ever night to hold him, or every night Tony actually went to bed. They fell into a pattern again which neither minded. Steve would come down with breakfast when Tony was done in the lab or would hold Tony till later that morning to bring them out to breakfast. Steve always made breakfast however and Tony was getting use to the idea that he’d be there always.
Steve began his safe zone again and Tony didn’t notice that he was beginning to fall for that man. He was getting over Pepper and didn’t notice it.
One day, Tony and Steve were laying in bed together, well Tony spoke a little of his more fun part of his childhood but then stops. “Steve,” He begins. The soldier looks up at the call. “I’ve told you about my past….what about you?”
Steve was surprised but then smiles, nuzzling Tony’s cheek. They were growing closer and quick. “Well, before I was born, my father went to battle and was killed. My mother raised me myself of course but taught me right from wrong and always said that my father was a war hero. When I turned 3, we began to notice that I wasn’t growing like the other boys. I was sickly for my age and soon everyone was worried. I was small. I was weak. I was everything no one would ever want— I just, I wanted to help, ya know?”
“I know,” Tony whispers. He felt the same way.
“So when I was older and the war broke out, I wanted to help. I tried everything I could to join the army but no one wanted me so I was stuck,” Steve explains. Tony could see it now, his Steve trying to do something he knew could help and being turned down and how upset he’d be. Wait a second….did he just think his Steve? Oh well.
Steve then keeps going, “My best friend Bucky— he knew me my whole life and I knew him, we were best friends. Bucky joined the army easily yet I couldn’t. One day, some man came up to me asking if I wanted to be apart of this thing called a super soldier program. It was my chance. I took it and joined the army. Sure, I was super weak well others could run faster, were stronger and were all man, I still tried my best.” Steve says. “One day during training, one of our leaders Peggy Carter showed up. She threw a ‘bomb’ onto the ground. Everyone jumped for cover but not me. I wanted to make sure everyone was safe so I jumped onto it. I began to chant, ‘run! Get away from here, go!’ but the bomb never went off.”
Tony frowns at the thought of Steve killing him for people who made fun of him. And he wasn’t sure why but the thought of this Peggy person pissed him off.
But a small Steve sounded so very cute.
“So where does becoming a super soldier come in?” Tony asks.
Steve chuckles. “I’m getting to that,”
“Then don’t stop.”
“So I was brought to this lab where I met Howard— he was kind enough but I never got a real good vibe from him.” Tony frowns at the thought of his father, “So I was put through this painful moment in my life and when I existed this box— I was Captain America though not fully yet. I went around looking to find some way to help people. Finally, I found Bucky had been taken and freaked out. I went to get him back, saved him, and truly became Captain America.
“Your father helped me and everything, but I did the most work. I think Peggy had a thing for Howard as he did her but they didn’t do anything because of well me.” Steve explains. Tony frowns at the thought of his father liking another woman and not his mother. “So at the end of it all, this bomb was gonna kill everyone so I went into the ice. The end.”
“Really, is that all?” Tony asks, eyeing Steve.
Steve nods. “Up till the point where I got out of the ice— and I found out my whole life was now gone. I lost everything.”
Tony takes his hand and gave him a small smile. “I’m here for you Steve…just like you’re here for me. All of me and all of you.”
Steve smiles and nods, “All of me and all of you.”
It was like some kind of promise and both smile at one another. It started to go from there.
The first time Tony ran into a naked Steve was when he needed a shower, having been in the lab the whole day and wanted a shower. Steve was in the shower, when Tony just kinda ended up in there too. Both were shocked but neither were sure what to do. Wasn’t it wrong to want one another? Steve was Captain America and Tony was a playboy.
Tony began to notice how he liked being in Steve’s presents. He felt this pull towards him. He always was looking for a way to spend more time with him and neither went against the idea. One day, Tony actually gave in and asked Steve to give him some lessons on boxing, just so they could spend more time.
Steve being Steve said yes and grinned that boyish grin. Tony felt like he would melt right then and there.
He came up with other ideas too. He worked out, and he even tried to explain how to use a computer with Steve too, anything to spend time together.
When Steve came home with some girl saying he had a date, Tony nearly lost it. He didn’t get why till later when he had JARVIS somehow follow Steve that night. When Steve took hold of the girl’s hand, Tony knew.
He cared for Steve….and deeply at that.
He had to tell him. So when his small alarm went off at 5:30am, Tony got up and made Steve some breakfast. Sure it wasn’t the best but he tried. He made eggs, bacon and some toast. He took some blueberries and put them in a small message that said I like you.
He wasn’t sure if it was smart but he did it anyway. He surprises Steve with food in bed and then smiles when the soldier looks surprised. “Tony?”
“Good morning Capsicle,” Tony says with a smirk and a wink.
Steve blushes. “What’s this?”
“Breakfast of course,” Tony says as he passes him the food. “I wanted to make you breakfast and well— I need to tell you something….”
Steve gives him a look as he waits. Tony shakes his head and soon Steve takes the lid off and gasps at the message. “Are you….?”
He didn’t finish because the next thing he knows, Tony’s up in his space and his lips are against his. He pushed the food aside though none fall off the plate but they don’t care because they’re kissing one another. Steve grunts at the pleasure and when Tony pulls back, they’re both left panting. “Does that answer your question?”
Steve nods and soon, they kiss again.
All of me and all of you.
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