Raven's Choice


Cas and Buffy materialized in her bedroom and they hadn’t let go of each other, but once their feet touched the floor, Buffy momentarily broke contact. “Cas…..” she said still staring into his eyes “I wanted to get away from everyone for a while. I hope you don’t mind. Ummmm, this is my room.” She said shyly.

Still processing that Haven was right there, in his arms, he couldn’t get enough of looking at her. “It’s fine”. He pulled her to him again and she laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him. She felt strong arms reach around and pull her tighter. They each were caressing and holding one another, not saying much, but saying everything with their touch. Buffy wanted to feel more and she reached underneath Cas’s shirt so she could get to his warm soft skin underneath. He sighed as he felt her hands touching him in a way that no one else had. “Haven…..” he looked down at her again, taking her mouth, softly at first running his lips across hers slowly then taking the kiss deeper. She responded with a deep sigh, as if she’d never been kissed like that before. He didn’t know how he knew what to do; he was just following instinct. Experimenting he darted his tongue out to taste her lips, running it along her teeth and finally finding her tongue. By this time Buffy had his shirt fully open and her hands were everywhere caressing him, feeling every part of him, she couldn’t get enough. “Haven,” he said again, breaking the kiss, “I never thought I’d find you. I thought I’d lost you forever.” He pulled her into a hard, tight hug, almost like he was afraid this wasn’t real and he’d wake up and find himself alone again.

“Cas, I’m really here.” They went back to their kissing, but it was more urgent, more passionate. Buffy finally took off Cas’s trench coat and shirt, wanting to get to as much of him as she could. With shaking fumbling fingers Cas pulled her sweater over her head and she reached back and undid her bra. Her small, but round breasts fell out and Cas’s breath caught at how beautiful she was. He bent down to kiss them taking each nipple in turn, sucking and licking. He was spurred on by her sighs and moans, so he nipped them a little and hearing her breath catch he let out a moan himself. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him, bent her head to his neck and started kissing and sucking that soft tender area. He threw his head back letting her take more. He moved them to the bed lowering them both as they continued their kisses and took pleasure in each other.

He knew about sex, hadn’t been immune to the physical affects that women had on his vessel, but he never had the nerve, until now, until his Haven was found again. He used his tongue to touch and tasted her soft pliant skin. He wanted more, so he peeled off her pants and again touched and tasted everywhere. He made h is way down her stomach and legs and then slowly made his way back up to her thighs and pulled moans of pleasure from Buffy. He saw the triangle of cloth covering her center. Buffy couldn’t take it anymore, “Castiel, oh Cas, please, please I need you, I need you…” her breath caught as his tongue touched her clitoris. He’d pulled back her panties and sought her center, wanting to know what she tasted like. She ran her hands through his hair and encouraged him to continue. He pulled off the offending layer between him and his goal. Once gone, he feasted like a man starving. He licked up and down her soft folds, touched his tongue to her nub, took it in his mouth and sucked. He felt her getting wetter as her body responded to his ministrations to her labia and her clit. Buffy panted and cried out his name. She bucked her hips and begged him for more. She felt the build-up in the center of her being, waited for it to crash over her, when he suddenly stopped. He stood up to take off the rest of his cloths, but stopped because he was a little scared so he just there and looked at her for a long minute.

“I’ve…..I’ve never done this before” he said shyly. He looked so innocent, so vulnerable something in her heart shifted and broke a little.

“Castiel you are so beautiful, not just your body, but your soul is beautiful”. Buffy said as she moved to the end of the bed. She worked to undo his pants and slid them down and off him so she could get to her goal. He was still standing there naked when she took his full, hard erection in her hand. His eyes glazed over with pleasure as she moved her hand slowly up and down his shaft. He closed his eyes and just let himself get lost in the pleasure she gave him. He felt an unfamiliar, but not unpleasant, wetness around his cock; he looked down to see that she had taken him into her mouth. She licked and sucked him, paying special attention to the head. “Oh, God Haven, that is” his breath caught “Amazing” he almost cried, saying her name over and over as she gave him pleasure. Suddenly he couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to feel her, all of her, and he needed to be inside her. He pulled back and guided her back to the center of the bed.

Knowing what he wanted because she wanted it too, she opened herself to him, to her Castiel, her missing piece. He was positioned above her, a little hesitant, a little unsure when she reached out and grabbed his hips and guided him to her. He went slow, wanting to savor her, savor the feeling of his first time. He slid in her wet and warm entrance. When he was full in he lost himself in the wonder of her, he couldn’t help it he was like a man possessed. He sat up, hauling up her hips, putting her legs on his shoulders, he worked himself in and out, faster, harder, his panting came in short quick breaths “Haven, Oh God Haven, you feel so good, I..I…” and he could no longer talk he just felt. “Cas, yes, oh yes, make me come Cas, come with me please,” They both felt the rush of the build-up, they were so wrapped up in each other, so open, some of their grace leaked out. It touched and intertwined and searched for the same pleasure they were feeling. With their combined grace all around them, Cas fell on top of her, still moving, pumping faster, he chased that sweet release, when all of sudden he heard his Haven cry out, felt her muscles contract around him telling him she came. This triggered his own release and he cried “Haven” over and over. He came deep and hard inside her, their grace captured them, held them then crashed back down around them as they fell together in ecstasy, spent, but blissfully happy.

After what seemed like forever Cas looked down at his love, his soul mate, “That was…..” he had no words adequate to describe what he was feeling. He never knew that sex could be like this. Dean’s descriptions never included this intimacy, or how it feels when you love the person. “I don’t know what to say. It’s not like anything I’ve ever imagined sex would be”. He stumbled on his words.

Smiling, Buffy looked up to him “It’s okay Castiel. It’s never been like that for me either; it was more, more everything.” And she started to cry. Cas, looked worried so he just held her not knowing what he did wrong. “You didn’t do anything wrong Cas,” She had sensed his question, “It’s just been so long, and I’ve gone through so much and no one ever touched me quite like that before, all these feelings just came crashing into me all at once. It was beautiful. And, I like when you call me Haven. It feels” She reached up and kissed him soft and long, “Like home”.


“So, you think our Cas is getting lucky? Huh? Huh?”

“Dean, don’t be crude”. Sam smacked his brother on the back of his head, “There is obviously more to their story than what Cas told us.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but who exactly are you two gentlemen?” Said Giles as he looked at the two brothers confused as to why they were there.

“Sorry, sir, I’m Sam Winchester and this is my idiot brother Dean. Like we said earlier, we’re hunters and friends of Castiel.” Dean scowled at Sam and planed out a revenge for the idiot remark. Sam shrugged it off, but sensed there was something simmering in his brother, but knew enough to leave it alone at the moment.

“I haven’t met a hunter in, well a long time. A few would come around here looking for trouble and, well, they certainly got it. You aren’t going to give us trouble, now are you?” Giles said darkly warning the brothers that any fight would not be easily won.

“Um, no sir we’re not here to cause trouble. In fact we aren’t even sure why we’re here. Cas came to us while we were on a hunt and he was rather anxious and upset. He told us he needed our help and that ‘she’ was in danger. Before we knew it he flashed us here.” Sam looked downright sheepish in his explanation of their situation.

“Giles,” Rupert held out his hand in a formal greeting, “Rupert Giles, and this is my wife Anais Hennessey”, Both Sam and Dean reached out and shook his hand respectively while Giles continued the introductions “And her daughter Annalisa, you’ve sort of already met”.

“Hi,” Dean turned to the beautiful golden haired beauty and gave her his best, and what he thought, his most charming smile.

Annalisa just looked at him and shook her head. She was used to the many wolfish grins of men and, in this case, boys. “Mother, I need to go into the office this week so I won’t be around.” She kissed her Mother goodbye and walked out the door, with Dean looking at her ass the whole time. Sam, again, gave Dean that look, before he addressed their host.

“Well, Mr. Giles, like I said Cas flashed us here before we could find out what was going on. He thinks this girl is in trouble. If I know Cas, and believe me we know him pretty well, he doesn’t say things like that lightly.”

“Sam, you have to understand that Buffy’s life is full of trouble. She is just getting settled after two years of running from anything and, well, everything.” The brothers looked at Giles confused, not really understanding what it was he was talking about, but going with it none the less.

“Darling, why don’t we take this conversation to a more comfortable place you can explain things better.” Anais led the way to a large den with comfortable and expensive looking couches and chairs. A huge 80’ TV screen hung on the main wall with a fireplace and several small tables all around.

“Would anyone like a drink? Gin? Whiskey? Or, if you look in that refrigerator in the corner we have an extensive selection of ales if you would prefer”. The brothers walked over to the tall slim fridge and peeked in, “Whoa, I could get used to this” Dean said quietly to Sam as they choose their drinks.

After everyone sat down with their drinks in hand Giles broke the silence. “As you heard, Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. It has fallen to one girl in each generation to defeat the forces of darkness. Unfortunately, her family moved into a very powerful Hellmouth.”

“Ohhh poor kid, we’ve had to deal with a couple of those on our hunts, not fun. We were only successful in closing one.” Dean said somewhat impressed.

“Well, yes, it did attract all manner of beings other than just simple Vampires. She was not joking when she said she stopped a God. Her name was Glorificus and she was trying to open a portals to a Hell dimension. Buffy jumped into the open portal, was able to close it, but she died in the process”. The memory of that awful day still haunted him to this day. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing. Dean was silent for once, remembering his own horrific hell. “Buffy’s friends erroneously thought her soul went to Hell and Willow, a very powerful witch,” Dean rolled his eyes thinking ‘great now we have a witch to deal with?’ “Leaned of a spell to bring her back, but forgot to dig up the grave.” Giles let that sink in for a minute.

“So, she wasn’t kidding when she said she had to dig herself out of her coffin, and her grave? Dude that is so messed up”. Said Sam and Dean nodded in agreement at that one.

“Yes, well, she came back,” he stopped, because he didn’t know how to put into words what his slayer had been through.

“Broken,.” Dean said as he looked Giles in the eye and recognized something, something he’d been feeling himself, pure and utter darkness.

Giles looked back at Dean with the same recognition. He saw darkness similar to his own and wondered what happened to the young man. “Yes, Broken.”


Everyone else had already left the den. Sam went with Anais who showed him a couple of rooms for them to use for the night. Dean was still in the den, drinking another beer standing up and looking out of the window. He heard movement behind him and had to temper his hunter instincts to fight, so he just turned to see who had come in the room.

“Dean, you seem like a young man with too much on his mind”. Giles said as he made his way to the Whiskey cart and poured himself two fingers worth then moved to stand next to the young man.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a strange day, well stranger day than normal. I’m still trying to process everything that’s happened.”

“No, that’s not what is bothering you. It’s something else, something deeper. It’s like you knew what Buffy has been going through.” Giles waited, and saw a dark look of pain flash over the young man’s eyes.

Dean bowed his head, looked back out the window pensive. No one had ever looked directly into him like this guy, not even Sam. Dean thought Sam just didn’t want to know, didn’t want to see the lingering effects of Hell on him, on what he did and his guilt.

Giles took a deep breath and decided to open up to this dark brooding young man “Back when I was in college, some friends and I tried to exorcise a demon from a house. In our arrogance two people were killed, and I was almost the third. The demon touched something in my soul, leaving a taint, a mark that not even Castiel has been able to remove. The pain and guilt of those deaths still haunt me and the simmering darkness, well I have help dealing with it” Giles thought of his Anais and the dark desires she brought out in him. “Do you, Dean, have someone to help you deal with your darkness, your taint?”

Dean spun around and looked Giles right in the eye, even though he was afraid of what he was going to see there. He saw the man’s eyes go dark, almost black, and something, some small thing changed in his face which gave the older gentlemen a dangerous look.

“No,” he said honestly, not knowing why he wanted to be honest with this man he just met. “No, I don’t have anyone or anything to help, well, that’s not true, hunting. Hunting helps, but honestly, it’s getting harder and harder……” He didn’t know what to say when he felt Giles place a hand on his shoulder.

“If you need to do something about it, at least while you’re here, I may be able to help.”

Dean didn’t know why this scared him and excited him at the same time and he also didn’t know why he blurted out “I went to Hell,” His eyes widened at his confession, and looked away because he was having a hard time keeping eye contact yet unable to stop the rest of it from coming out. “I had made a deal with a cross-roads demon to save my brother Sam who had been killed in a fight against a really nasty demon.” Dean didn’t want to go into their whole long fight with the demon yellow eyes, he gave just enough information so Giles could understand what he went through.

“Normally the price is 10 years. I offered him 5, but he…he wanted 1. I had one year to make peace with my life, with Sam”. The pain and anger was still so fresh even after all these months. “I spent the first 30 years resisting. I resisted the darkness, resisted the temptations of the demon Alastair. My soul was torn apart every day to be put back together and torn apart again”. He stopped, walked back over to the fridge and grabbed another beer, not that he actually wanted one, but it gave him something to do. He didn’t know what it was about this man that he trusted, that he felt compelled to open up to, but he knew that he couldn’t stop now. “I gave in. I finally gave in to the darkness, I gave in to the demon and I…I….” he faltered, tears in his eyes threatened to fall, his voice catching “I did terrible things and for 10 years I became one of the very things that we hunt. I’ve never told Sam what I went through, though he is always asking questions”. He can no longer hold back the pain or the tears, and he didn’t even flinch when Giles put his arms around the young man, encouraging him to let it out, let it out or it would tear him to pieces leaving nothing, only a shell. “I can help you” Whispered Giles in the young man’s ear leaving Dean to wonder what exactly that meant.


Sam came back to find Dean alone in the den, sucking back his fifth beer, the evidence still on the table. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Dean looked up at his brother with a dark expression, “Sammy, not now, okay?”

“When Dean. You never talk about it, you never let all of that pain and anger go, you hold onto it like it’s some kind of, I don’t know trophy.” Frustrated with his brother, frustrated with their situation, Sam didn’t know what to do.

“Leave it alone Sam. I told you I wasn’t talking about what I went through. I’m not going to give you a blow by blow account of the crapfest that was my time in Hell.” Dean yelled.

“Alright, fine, but you’re going to have to deal with it at some point Dean, this anger, its spilling onto everything, our work, your drinking, this constant need to get into more and more dangerous fights, it’s not healthy”.

Dean looked long and hard at his younger brother. The brother it was his job to protect and realized that he was right. “I know Sam, I just don’t know what to do, it’s like a thing growing inside me that I can’t shake loose. I’m pissed off all the time, at you, at Demons, at Dad…..” Sam looked at his brother, more worried than before, “I don’t know what to do Sam” Dean said again putting all of his pain in his voice.

“It’s okay Dean, we can figure this out, but you need to figure it out, somehow.” He knew Sam was right.

“Anyway, Anais gave us a couple of rooms we can use for the night, or however long Cas is here. She even has some clothes we can borrow, leftovers from her sons. Oh and I called Bobby, he and Rufus are going to pick-up the Impala. He’ll call me and let me know once they have it back in South Dakota”.

“Thank you Sammy, I’ll be up in a little bit.”

“Okay.” Said Sam and gave him directions to their rooms. He paused and waited for a response from Dean and not getting one, left to go do some research.

Dean watched Sam walk out of the den. He decided he needed something stronger and went to the Whiskey cart and poured himself a full glass and proceeded to get filthy drunk He thought about Giles promise, proposal, Dean wasn’t sure what it was the guy was offering, but it might be worth it to find out.

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