Autumn whispers


Chapter 19: The Unveiling of Varania, Sleepover

*Added Home-scene, want to have a picture of how its like in Aveline's home

*spelt venhedis confirmed by Maverik

Notes: For realism :Because Fen still struggles with wording (he has not suddenly become fluent unlike other AU stories) there are deliberate grammar mistakes. Broody had plenty of mercenary stuff with Aveline and gang to manage so he just starts learning some basic common language now.

For this one, I got a messenger to send it to Zev as he went for a mercenary job.

Hey Zevran hermano,

So sorry for the late reply! I didn’t know you were away until today. Fenris didn’t want me following you. I was quite annoyed but I couldn’t be angry for long with his eagerness.

Yes all those Libra stuff seem like they would fit you. Hehe, don’t worry the traits are not absolute. I do believe that you’re faithful in choosing allies! Oh, maybe for other stuff you might be indecisive?

For Isabela I’ve not got a chance to talk to her yet! She normally meets my aunt, Varric and Fen at the pubs or the docks. She has a big crush on him. V thinks she’s too perverse for me. So how long have you known her, amigo? Being old friends. You have always evaded my questions about the past with that smile.

I remember in your language, the ‘a’ behind is for girls so I change to amigo as you are male. Isa sounds reliable, otherwise Fenris won’t work with her. He has good instincts. For this letter, I will like to tell you more about him, only his virtues of course! = ) Why do I want to be cold? I forgot when we talked about that, but I don’t know. Maybe to defend against hostile people? People would use me and then toss me aside, partly because I switched schools. Before I got to stay with Fenris, Aveline moved around a lot from her various deployments. Having an absent father who later refused to acknowledge me, because he wants a son, could be a cause. I did not mean to be rude when you asked, Zev. I find Elves more reliable, and same for a certain dwarf. Varric remembers my birthdays without fail and he will remind the others. Sometimes Fen and Aveline will be my parents, so I don’t feel so leftout seeing complete families. Alistair is not bad. He is one of a kind in his jokes. Oh yea you knew Ali well too right?

My birthday is August 14, Leo. The part about how I expect 110% from people is true. But I am not so courageous haha.

Wow ok, I think Fenris may be a Capricorn because of his dry wit and down-to-earth personality. (Sometimes he doesn’t know when he’s joking too, cute) Remember when we had the story of the rescue of the woman? He made up the demon part and said he won’t care about saving her unless she abandons her shoes haha! I think I had stitches. Or Aries won’t be too far, the fire when he’s really angry. Aries’ rage is collateral, but I seem to see less episodes of Fenris in a rage to my relief. It can be detrimental to his health. Merry and him are getting along well, since she came with her getwell present! Yay! I think Merry is a Gemini. Because she talks very fast and thinks doubletime. Two brains haha!

Why don’t you roleplay as her boyfriend, Zev? She needs a man to take care of her. I can just picture you laughing, but I’m serious. Anyway he has been in a great mood and truly relaxed. They reconciled. He says his tattoos hurt less because I’m near and he’s happy. Do you remember why? Now I smell something delicious, can’t wait to eat them! Fen has been learning to bake from the cook. Mary is away, so we are doing some chores ourselves. Tomorrow Uncle will go on a mission. I’ve stopped worrying when he comes back late, in the wee hours as he promises to rest more and not force himself. I did ask him why he wanted to lift the heavy Blade of Mercy, and Binky’s Comfort before he stopped coughing. I expected to have an argument but he ceased training when I sounded mad. I guess many of us think he looks appealing all glistening with sweat and silver. When he had a rest, we talked about the uses of different two handed weapons. Bluntly, Fenris said: you are not suitable to carry them. Ouch, I have pride you know! Then he laughed at my indignance. I replied: do not look down on me.

This weekend Fen will be home and going to sleep in! But yester- day we felt a bit sad. He had slept poorly, with dark eye shadows the next morning . Poor elfie, he cannot sleep deeply when he jolts awake as the markings flare. When Merry and I asked, he admitted that his head hurts and about the fugitive times- nightmares. How I loath the magisters of Tevinter! They had no brains: to deprive him of food and rest when he was supposed to guard them?! Wearing armor is enough of a burden, let alone holding such big weapons. They were truly vishante assholes and bitches (they don’t know I’m swearing on paper)

At least assassins like you have brains.Then he apologized for being down in the start of the morning. We played a simple card game together. Maybe Fen can teach us wicked grace! I want to play but I have to sleep early. They play at night aw.

You know, I Love you Zevie! Come back soon safely alright?

Hugs from Kitty (As I wrote the last line, I laughed imagining Zev’s hearty laughter at my compliments. I missed him )


When Fenris was unpacking after his latest mission, I opened the book he had slotted this memo in. The paper was creased and had many fold-lines. Could Fen have changed his mind about giving me this many times? He needn’t worry, I didn’t mind if it was untidy and full of mistakes. He had written much bigger so it was easier to decipher. In the middle I felt his deep sadness emanating.

Hello Kit,

Sorrie I can’t spell u real name. how the stay with Avalen and Donic? I want u to spend more time with them as they r your people. Fameli. I didn mean to chase u away. Today back from protecting a group- mages. I don’t hate them so much but still tattoos r not comfort. Can sleep and have food away, far from them. Have been thinking of Hawk, and my sister, will Hawk really be able to go afterlife? Is she happy? Im not sure if got maker or god. He never helps.

Sister was Varania, I killed her do u know this? I cannot talk of it, but now alone wish to do here. Feeling not sad but not angry too. I think Va had magic , but I forgot… used much coin 2 pay for her ship. When I had memories come, she and I played in a garden. Va should come herself, but Behind came the venhedis-old man who did this to me. I could not belief! Why did she bring him, I was veri shock n angry. She said I was Leto, no choice but to sell me back 2 become magister. Mean higher post than normal ones like anders. She said as Leto I wanted and had contest for markings but I didn understand! They told me do not hurt sister, but after D was dead, I stuck hand into her chest. Varic and Merry move away when saw this happen. I got nothing in the end.

Actually not too bad to write, Kit. Maybe u will feel scared or shock? I ask before if u scared I have killed, remember? I don blame if u r. Then sleep was nice, peace replaced by dreaming of Alis, Donnic, dwarf , zev and u.

Took long time and mistakes to make this, maybe not long enough for letter. I liked how u do it with Zev. A bit envy Im slow with words n reading. Friend read and changed so this part is ok. He didn’t see about sister part or he will faint. Can’t wait to see u! Going to meet soon.

Wishes from Fenris

I swallowed a lump in my throat at his sheer and pure joy on the last line.

Of course when he came to fetch me from Donnic’s, he still had the veneer of calm as usual. That was Our elf’s nature, outwardly he wouldn’t start leaping and shouting, or you’d think he’d gone nuts! Noticing how bedraggled and sleep- deprived Fenris looked, as well as a sheen of sweat all over, Aveline invited him to stay the night. I could see the hesitation of his curled lip. “Welcome! Do come in Fenris. At least take a seat,” I urged, holding out my hand, grinning.

The lyrium elf was wearing boots, I saw, but they were soundless as was his loping way of walking. His touch was gentle despite the metallic gloves.

Aveline talked to him. His voice was raspy and soft. Then she thumbed towards the kitchens.

“You two have a chat. Sabriel don’t give him a headache alright? I’ll get some food and drinks.”

I said no I wouldn’t. Shyly Fenris seemed to be waiting, not moving to remove his armor which must be a huge burden after the long journey. He had only laid down his sword at the front rack. Also, he remained standing and studying our whole place. I tried to guess what he was appraising, that the plaster was peeling? My aunt and uncle are simple people, warriors, and the few paintings passed down from people, were old. One had even fallen off and Donnic just dumped it behind a chest of drawers. This foyer is much larger than at Fenris’ mansion. The only new things were a vase of flowers I had bought today, one of my animal art that had yet to be framed and the round satin cushions with patterns. “Ah Fenris?” I prompted.

“Umhm?” He smiled as I patted the seat next to me.

“It must be heavy, you can take it off. What’s up?” I did not get his reticence. They were familiar with one another no? I was glad when he started to unbuckle his cuirass. He had to be fatigued, but he still elegantly perched on the sofa. I also helped to take off the gauntlets, which I had learnt to do when he was in pain sometimes.

“No I’m fine with it. It’s not a problem, Sabriel. I… just don’t know if I am imposing. ” He was now speaking more, his voice soft. I smiled and was glad he responded similarly.

“Nonsense. You’re our dear friend. Do you like jellies? These are lemon and peach drinks.” Aveline said, placing down a tray with glasses of desserts.

“Thank you. Sounds good. Oh I saw your art, they are lovely.” He mused, as he unlaced his boots. Later he added we were too kind. Why does he have to be so distant and formal? I wanted to ask. Aveline nudged me, mouthed ‘no’ and clinked the spoons.

I got distracted by the peach fruits. “Yay my favourite! Fenris, you want the yellow or orange?”

Under all that spiked layers, the elf was just wearing a dark tunic that accentuated his muscles. “I’ll take yellow.” He arranged all the armor carefully on the side, then drank the lemonade. I told him about how we had chosen fruits to make the jellies with. Fenris had always been an excellent audience. His sparkly green eyes were happy. “Tell me, have you made more friends? Passed the tests?” he wanted to know.

After I regaled them with my tales, my glass wasn’t finished but they had drank theirs. He did wince, almost covering his ears when some doors banged and stuff dropped. “Sorry, that’s Donnic with his home improvement projects. Work is busy and yet he got some tools for carpentry, arrgh.” Aveline explained.

“I see.” Donnic yelled out something. As I spooned some jelly, Elf put his arm around me. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

Soon it was time for bed but Fenris was being cautious and polite again. He peeked at one of the spare rooms, rubbing the markings on his right arm and undecided. I had opened my door, that Donnic had pasted a bunny picture outside.

“Do you really want me to sleep inside with you? I- I can go to the guest room. ” They had managed to persuade him to wear a fresh shirt that was non-allergenic. Of course Fenris still looked like a ‘weapon’ but I would never see him that way, he’s a person overall. (We would argue about this time to time)

“Why not? There are two beds, so don’t worry I won’t hog the bed!” I tugged him until he followed me in. “Sleepover! You’re our guest, Fen! The other rooms are messy.” Aveline told him not to fret and we totally trusted him. Oh yea maybe he was concerned about our gender difference and we had always slept in our own rooms.

"You can lie down on that bed nearer the window, Fen. Will it be too cold? Oh, I had just helped fold a new blanket." I hoped he felt comfortable, what did he like or not like? Usually in his house, I had barely noticed his needs. He thanked us about five times before finally resting and looking out the window. Fenris spent some time observing and then closing the panes, leaving a small gap for some breeze.

"This will suffice. I don't feel that cold now."

As I bounced on my pale blue bed, he faced me and scratched at his neck. The shirt had a collar, and he had left it unbuttoned. “What’s it like,sleepover?”

While I elaborated, I heard his stomach growling.

“You didn’t tell us you’re hungry. I’ll get you some soup and bread,” I offered.

“Oh don’t trouble yourself, Kit. I’m really tired.” He said, stifling a yawn.

I said no problem and that he should relax. When I came back, Fenris had dozed off upright. He was so drained that even when I whispered into his ear to lie down properly he did not awaken.

I must have slept for a while, when I awoke to the sound of someone eating quietly. Fen had not used the chair or the bed, instead he was kneeling on the floor, taking the soup. “Hello. It’s nice.” He smiled.

My heart ached, that he didn’t feel it was alright to eat in bed or even use my desk. “Please don’t kneel, Fenris. Won’t your legs hurt?” He looked very surprised and said he was worried it would spill. Was it because of his previous life, when they forced him to eat on the ground?

“It’s alright. I know you’ll be super extra careful. I can’t have you sit on the floor.” I knew my voice came out sharper than I intended. He changed the subject and started talking about how he had missed us, while on the mission. I indicated the chair and held out my hand, as Fenris might have a cramp sitting with his legs folded. He accepted my help, but did not discuss why.

I really wished he wouldn’t worry about making mistakes, because this wasn’t Tevinter or Seheron anymore. Yet, the words wouldn’t come and he may be hurt.

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