Autumn whispers

Te amo

Did you know how Fenris had dawdled giving me his crumpled sheet? After clearing his throat a number of times, he said, “Ah I’ve been meaning to give this to you.Are you busy?”

Varric said it was Fenris’ habitual nervousness, when Hawke had complimented him, he had been coughing for a while.

After sending off some guests about official stuff, Fenris only approached me now. I was doing my homework at our dinner table. As he murmured, he was fiddling with his gauntlet straps.

I smiled. “Kind of. Why?” He placed a book beside me.

“I hope you can read it. When, when you’re alone of course.” Fenris spoke, with his back to me. He started to clean one of his swords. It’s unbelievable how restrained and indirect he can be, even though we’ve known each other for so long!

“Wah it’s a letter? Nice. Do you want me to reply?”

He turned around, his emerald eyes soft and innocent and smiled. “More likely you may struggle to understand it. Or we can… talk about it next time. No rush.”

“It had better not be in Qun Uncle.” We laughed.

“I only speak Qun not write it. It is in Common.” Fenris scowled.

“Drink some water if your throat is parched.” I said, grinning. He ignored me. Yep, so he always coughed when he felt nervous.

My elation of writing back to Broody was so overpowering that my first drafts were scribbles! He would not have been able to read that.

Dearest Fenris,

So happy to get a letter from u! Before I start, I LOVE You! It’s super important for me to tell you this. This is why I’m using purple ink and pink might hurt your eyes. I’m going to use simple words so you can understand alright? Yes there are mistakes but I have no trouble understanding.

My stay with them was good. Boring but good- I could sleep in and ate a lot of fried stuff. Uncle Donnic cooks so well. Oh he likes to play Diamondback with you? Haha! Can I play too? Sounds fun. He says you let him win.

It must be so horrible when she betrayed you. I am clear about the people you’ve slain, Fenris and I will not start to fear now. You need our support, not judgment. Your other name was Leto? Writing all that was a good idea to help with the healing process. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ cannot help. I sincerely want to make you happy, need to make more jokes. Ali (haha u shorten his name, and he allows this? ) and Varric and Zev are good company. I had not known of Varania before. Dwarf had compiled all your adventures in the Companions of Kirkwall book, a whole collection. Of course, I merely skip to the best parts about you, Aveline and Hawke. My name is Sabriel. Kit is fine too.

Don’t worry, she knows and is looking after you now. The way you spelt is fine, like the bird of freedom. : ) Hawk is like a small eagle that eats mice and small birds. I didn’t feel close to my relatives who passed, but they read out some speeches of how they will always be in our hearts. She is, always. I am here to listen should you have need, Fen.

Ah I forgot to ask if you are well. You looked quite wornout that day. I shall quietly put this when you’re sleeping. Zev is fine, hey why are you envious? He is funny and charming but cannot replace the special time we have before he came. You are both very important Elves to me. I’m very happy with so much progress you’ve made, keep it up! It seems that Hawke may have sent us along so you won’t be alone again, Fenris. We do worry you may forget us, please don’t.

Can I learn some Tevene? I only know the curses haha. You can answer me anytime and no need to be perfect.



The following morning, he woke late. “Wow you are so fast. I cannot read that quick.” Fenris was chewing something and bringing the milk carton to the table. I gestured if he minded drinking tea. Normally we would have choices of teas (herbal and red), coffee, wine (but sadly I was never allowed) or milk. Sometimes there was chocolate. Today, I had gone ahead to fill his cup as it was nice and piping hot. The servants can eat first or with us.

He nodded his thanks and passed me the sugar. Josephine, a new serving girl, happily called his name. The elf smiled shyly.

“Forgot to say, can you wait till I’m out? Before you read mine?” I said, stirring three heaping spoonfuls of sugar in.

Fenris raised a brow. “Why? Because you said something bad? Did you get a shock?” I gently covered his free hand with mine. He cocked his head.

“Nah if I were shocked, I would’ve packed up and gone in the night.”

He sighed in relief. “I am not convinced. They- were angry when I killed her.” His voice was small and tight. I glanced at the servants, who remained calm.

“Yea but no one’s panicking right now.” I pointed out. Fenris was quiet for a moment, scooping an omelette onto his toast. “By the way I made the egg. It’s misshapen.” The girls chuckled.

“Never mind, it’ll taste good. Thank you. What about yourself?” he looked concerned.

“Those are two eggs in one. I’m fine, you need to eat more.” He started eating it. The subject change worked, as he pondered and suggested that he wanted to make some food for me. The usual foodstores would be closed for their break and those who didn’t want to cook would need to walk further to buy groceries. School was in the morning sessions for this term.

“I know how to fry simple stuff, ham, egg, bacon. Oh yes mustn’t forget the vegetables.” I pressed my forehead. Fenris chuckled. “You always push the greens to us. Vegetables are important too.” I moaned. Yes that was kind of true. Zev had made it a game of adding more to my plate when I thought they were gone.

The girls told him that they had those covered, and he should sleep in on his offdays. Fenris insisted he was not weak. How I longed to give him a long hug! Before I could see if his markings hurt, the elf made them light up and touched my forehead with the back of his right hand. I was startled. Fenris chuckled.

“I don’t have a fever.” My cheeks and heart warmed at his initiative to check on me.

“Sure. How does it feel to have lyrium on your face?”

“Er, really warm and ticklish. You look nice, Uncle!” Upon looking closely, not all the patterns were lit with the same light, some were less bright. He let it fade slowly.

“Do they hurt when you sustain this mode?”

“Yes. I refrained from using my talent this week. Oh, what if I cannot understand some of your words? You’d have to be here.” He said, twirling his fork.

“Hey I made it VERY neat. You wound me.” I rubbed my eyes. Fenris chuckled.

“Well sorry. This is the first time I know of purple ink. Looks beautiful. I will cherish it.” I didn’t quite look at the elf when he spoke, though his voice inflection had deepened an octave.

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