Tempers and A Talk With the Big Brother
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT! I own only my characters.
I am extremely ticked off. How dare he come back after what he did?! How could she forgive him after what he did?! He hurt her, left her broken. How could he be forgiven for something like that? The image of them holding hands was burned into my conscience. It was not one I wanted to ever see. It ticked me off and proved that she had forgiven him. I hated the ease of forgiveness she had. My anger had made me run from the field. I heard her call my name again and again but each time I ignored her. It was then that I heard my full name.
"Emmalie Jary Swan!" she yelled. I turned around, angry.
"What, Mom?" I responded with venom in my voice. I hated hearing my full name. I hated my middle name. My uncle teased me with it. It was just plain weird. Mom told me it was a mix of my jerk father's brother's and sister's names, Jasper and Alice. Mom looked up Alice's name from when she was human and found out her name was Mary so Mom mixed Jasper and Mary, getting Jary. See there was logic but the product of the mix annoyed me. But that was not the source of my anger. The source of that was her ease of forgiveness. He left her. He left us! After all he did, she should be sending him away not letting him be here. It was just not right. If he really wanted to be a family he would never have left us. I hated him.
As a child, one of the first things I asked was 'Who is my father?' and 'Why is he not here?'. My mother then told me, my brother, and my sister a story about a human girl that fell in love with a vampire. This said vampire had saved her life so many times until he destroyed her himself by leaving. The vampire left her broken and worse...pregnant. Yes. She was pregnant. Apparently they had gotten together the night before he claimed he no longer loved her. That led to the birth of not only one vampire hybrid but three: my sister, my brother, and I. Yes, stupid Edward Cullen was my father. As a child, I would have cried, wanting him home. I had that hope to meet him but as I grew older, and smarter, I resented him more and more. They then festered into hate, hate for my father that had left us all. My brother wasn't much better. He hated him with an even greater passion than me. He had hated our father's guts the moment he found out our father hurt our mother. His hatred manifested each day. He wanted to rip our father apart and burn the pieces. My sister, Nessie, was the only one who didn't hate him. In fact, she would be ecstatic with the idea that he was here and that he was possibly back together with her. It was no secret that she wanted a father. She wanted her parents to be together, to be a family with both parents present. I admired her for her determination for this dream to be a reality but I never thought this would ever happen.
I stared at my mother in fury. She stared back at me with a stern gaze. It was like she was telling me she was the mother and I was the child and that I should do as she says. Well to tell you the truth, I could care less about that dynamic. I was too ticked off to care at this point.
"We need to talk." said my mother. I shook my head.
"We have nothing to talk about, Mom." I spat.
"You're mad. I get it." she said. I interrupted her. She didn't even know how mad I was at her. I was infuriated.
"I am not mad. I am furious. I am infuriated at HIM and you. I am furious at him because he can't just waltz back in after all these years after what he did to you. I am furious at you for forgiving him so easily. You shouldn't forgive him. He left you. He hurt you. He left you broken and pregnant. He left you to raise three kids on our own. How can you forgive him so easily?" I spat.
"You don't understand. It is not as simple as you think. There are some things that make it more complicated than you think. There are some things you just don't know about." she said softly.
"What things? Please tell me what I'm missing here because I would really like to understand." I replied. She was silent for a moment before responding.
"He loves me." I scoffed. Unbelievable! How could she possibly believe anything that comes out of the liar's mouth!, I thought angrily. She ignored my scoffed and continued talking. "He truly loves me. He lied in the forest. He thought he was protecting me. He didn't want me to be a vampire and thought leaving me would be the only way to do so. He just wanted to protect me from becoming a vampire. That's all." she said softly.
"Fat lot of good that did, huh?" I hissed. She glared at me.
"Hey! You weren't there and you can't assume anything based on what happened ten years ago! It was just a misunderstanding, nothing else. He realizes what he did wrong. He wants to be with me again and I'm sure that when he finds out about you he's going to want to be a father to you." That did it! He's not my father nor will he ever be!
"I don't want him as a father. In fact, I don't want a father at all. I don't want a part him in any way. No matter what he says to you or does, I will not forgive him. I don't need a father. I've lived ten years without one. I didn't need one then and I don't need one now." I yelled.
"Are you sure about that?" she asked, not believing me.
"Pretty darn." I spat, walking away furiously.
I watched as my youngest daughter stalked off. I have never seen her so angry and somehow I have this feeling that the worst is yet to come. The worst would most likely be my eldest child and only son, E.J. He absolutely hated his father at this point in time. It was no secret how much he loathed Edward. Nessie was by far going to be the most welcoming of my three children. She had no ill will toward Edward for what he did so long ago. Nessie was the most compassionate of the triplets. Emma however was the wild card. I could not imagine how she reacted. Unlike E.J, she made it less obvious that she hated Edward. The funny thing was that Emma and E.J, the ones who resented Edward the most, were the most similar to Edward.
Emma had Edward's old green eyes that I had always dreamed of him having. They were bright green, like shining emeralds. She had my father's curls and my hair color. Her nose and her smile were some features that most reflected her father's look. But her features were not the only things that reminded me so clearly of her father. Emma is stubborn, intelligent, perceptive, passionate, sweet, and cares very much about her family. She loved music, as did her brother. That was a passion I realized they both shared with their perfect father. Nessie loved music but not nearly as much as the others had. E.J has this uncanny look about him. He looked like an exact replica of Edward with his deep green eyes. E.J is as intelligent as his father, loving, charming, stubborn (every single one of the triplets are stubborn), and is very protective of his sisters. He shares the same love with Taylor that I shared with Edward. He has just as hard of a time staying away from her as we did. E.J adores his piano and loves running. He is the fastest runner I have ever seen, even faster than his father. Nessie has her father's bronze hair, her grandfather's curls, my old brown eyes, and Edward's facial structures. Nessie is very kind, receptive, smart, and charismatic. She loves reading just as much as I do. Her favorite book is Wuthering Heights. She and I get along great. There was one slight problem though that took some getting used to.
Jacob Black, my old best friend, had imprinted on my daughter. That did not sit well with me. It is still a bit awkward at times. Speak of the devil, I thought as I saw Jacob approaching with, on his arm, my daughter Nessie. Nessie shot me a concerned look as she and Jake walked toward me. Jake's look matched Nessie's. They must have seen Emma running away, clearly upset.
"Is everything ok, Bells?" asked Jake. I debated in my mind, wondering what I should say to them. I decided against it and sent Jake a fake smile. I couldn't mention Edward in front of Nessie, at least not until Edward knew he had children. It would have been slightly awkward if Nessie suddenly ran up to him and started calling him 'Dad'.
"Everything's fine, Jake. Emma's just a little mad at me. That's all." I said, trying sound like Emma's reaction doesn't bother me. Jake looks at Nessie.
"Ness, can you excuse us? I would like to have a word with your mother alone." he asked politely. Nessie gazed at us suspiciously before taking off into the direction of the house. Jake's attention diverted back to me. "What's going on?" he asked me as soon as he noticed Nessie was out of hearing range.
"Don't get mad ok?" I sighed. He sighed back.
"I hate it when you make sentences like that. What is it?" he replied.
"Anne invited some visitors to her wedding." I answered vaguely, knowing it would get on Jake's nerves.
"And…?" he responded. I hesitated before finishing knowing this would not go over well.
"And the visitors happen to be the Cullens." I answered. Jacob's eyes widened in shock then narrowed into anger. I saw his hands ball into fists and his jaw clench. He was just as, if not more, furious as Emma was this afternoon.
Jake still hated the Cullens, especially Edward. Jake hated Edward for leaving me and breaking me the way he did. He too noticed my pain and then saw the life in my eyes when I told him I was pregnant. He said I was happier than he'd seen me since then. He'd come by to see me on occasion after Edward left. Jake saw the pain I was in then and noticed the great difference in me after I reached that revelation. There was some light in my eyes he and Charlie hadn't seen in a while. Charlie though did not ever know about my children. I left before he could find out. Charlie too had been furious at Edward. Jake also hated Edward because he caused Charlie so much worry and such. Jake hated the fact that Charlie had gotten so upset. Edward had hurt me and upset Charlie and Jake didn't like that.
"Bella, please don't tell me you've forgiven him after everything he did to you. He had hurt you, crushed you, broken your heart. How can you even consider forgiving him?" He said, upset and pleading. Hey, he wasn't yelling at me like Emma was. That's a relief to me.
"Jake, you have to understand. Everything was just messed up. Edward thought he was doing the right thing by leaving me. He didn't want me to lose my soul by becoming a vampire. He thought it was best for me. He loves me, Jake. He lied to protect me." I told him, pleading for him to believe me. He looked at me in exhaustion. He was acting like he'd had this conversation before.
"Bella, I'm sorry but he doesn't love you in the way you think. He wouldn't have left you if he did. Bella, he doesn't care that he's hurt you." sighed Jacob. I felt a sudden rush of anger fill me. He shouldn't make assumptions when he doesn't know the facts.
"He does love me, Jacob. You don't know anything. You didn't see the look in his eyes. You didn't hear the pain in his voice. You can't make assumptions like that without talking to him. So don't you try and stop me from staying with him because my heart still belongs to him. It always will." I said firmly. He sighed.
"You are so stubborn." He declared, shaking his head. "And somehow you think those kids of yours inherit his stubbornness. I know that Ness has your stubbornness." I smiled.
"I knew you sounded like you have had this conversation before. Let me guess, you and Nessie fought about this before?" I guessed with a smile. He let out another breath and nodded. "What was the result of the argument? Who won?"
"We called it a draw." he answered.
"You mean you gave up arguing with her because she wasn't backing down." I said with a teasing tone. His face turned disappointed.
"Yes. She's so stubborn. I can never win, Bells!" whined Jake. I laughed. I heard another chuckle from behind me. I turned and saw Nessie.
"That's because I'm right, you're wrong. Daddy loves Mom. I know it. So don't go arguing with me about that." stated Nessie, firmly.
"I thought I asked you to let your Mom and I talk." whined Jake.
"Hey, you guys had your chat. I didn't know what you were saying so you got your conversation. I only heard the end of it. And besides, I needed to tell you that all the wolves are on their way. Seth's the closest to being here." he nodded, accepting this. Jake turned to me.
"I guess we'll see you in the field. Ness and I are going to wait for the pack to get here so they can play." I nodded.
"Alright. I guess I'll see you later." I said walking back toward the field where my love was waiting.
I watched Bella run after brunette girl who had run away from the field. I was confused. Why was Bella so frantic to rush after her like that? I noticed the sympathetic looks coming from her family. Anne looked sad. Jason looked the same and was rubbing circles into Anne's back. John looked like he wanted to run after her too. I glanced at my family and noticed the same confused looks on their faces, even on Alice's. Alice almost never had a surprised look on her face. She should have seen this.
Poor Emma. She shouldn't have found out like that. I hope she won't be mad at me. Poor Bella. Emma's not going to take this well and will be angry at Bella too. I hope they work things out, thought Anne.
Emma's got to be furious. She seemed like she was ready to tear him apart. Somehow I don't think Bella would be receptive to that idea. Maybe for Bella's sake I should give him a chance, said Jason in his thoughts.
Emma looked so mad. Should I go after them? I'm worried about Emma. Will Bella be able to get through to her? I want to make sure they're both ok. But I think this moment should be for Bella and Emma to work things out, thought John, trying to plan out what he should do.
"Who was that?" asked Alice, finally saying something. Bella's family looked at each other.
"She was one of those other family members I told you Bella should tell you about. I am still standing by what I had said earlier. You all need to hear this from Bella herself, not any of us. All we can tell you is that her name is Emmalie." responded Anne.
"That Emmalie looked really mad. She looked like she wanted to punch someone." stated Emmett. The rest of my family nodded in agreement.
"Yeah she was really mad. She has some issues in regards to you guys for some of the same reasons John and Jase were mad at you. The other stuff…you'll understand later. She really is a sweet girl when you get to know her. She's a little rough around the edges but she's very kind hearted when she wants to be. She just has a short temper."
"I wonder where she gets that from." muttered John. I saw Jason glare at him before turning to me. His face was calculating.
"Edward, can you and I talk alone?" asked Jason. I looked at him then at Anne. She gave me an encouraging look.
It'll be fine. Jase just wants to talk. He doesn't want to be on Bella's bad side by doing something she was against. It would upset her and right now that is the last thing she needs. If he were going to try anything I would tell you. You're his sister's boyfriend. He just wants to talk to you, thought Anne. I looked at Jason and nodded. We walked silently away from the field. We stopped after two minutes of walking, certain we were out of hearing range. We stared at each other, not quite knowing what to say.
"So…you and Bella are together again now, right?" asked Jason, awkwardly. I nodded. This really felt weird. He sighed at my answer. "Ok, look I asked you here because…I don't like you. I don't like you for hurting my baby sister. Now I would tell you to stay away from Bells but I would like to understand something." said Jason, bluntly. I had expected this from him. I was now curious though as to what he needs to understand.
"What is it?" I asked, wanting to explain so he and I would not have issues, for Bella's sake.
"You say you love her, right?" he asked. I opened my mouth to tell him I wasn't just saying it but he stopped me. "Don't tell me you love her. If you love her never would have left." he said, pausing. "But…I can't help this nagging feeling in my gut that tells me there's more to it than that."
"There is. I'm surprised Anne didn't tell you." I replied. He sighed.
"She did but I need to hear it from you. I need to see if you're lying for myself. Anne can be a little too trusting sometimes. I don't want to see her and Bells both be disappointed later on. Don't disappoint either of them. Anne put a lot on the line because she has faith in you. She knew we all would be mad at her for this. She risked her family's feelings toward her because she trusts you. Don't ruin it."
"I won't. I won't disappoint her, either of them. Jason, I know you don't trust me but I love Bella. I really do. With every ounce of humanity I have left, I love her. She's my life. I need her. I made the worst mistake possible by leaving her. When I told her I didn't want her…you have no idea how much I wanted to take that back. But I had to let go. I knew if I truly loved her I had to leave her." I responded. Jason's eyes turned into curiosity and suspicion.
"Why did you leave her, really?" he asked.
"I wanted her to be human. I didn't want to ruin her life any more than I already had. Her life was in constant danger with me around. With all the nomad vampires that came after her and my own family attacking her…I knew I had to do something. I couldn't change her because I couldn't destroy her soul. I would never have forgiven myself for doing that to her." I explained. I was going to continue until Jason interrupted me.
"What do you mean destroy her soul?" he questioned confused.
"Anne never told you about how I felt about my soul?" I asked. I thought she would have if she was trying to explain my reasons for leaving. That was one of the main reasons I was leaving. Jason shook his head no. "I feel that we don't have souls. That we are meant to burn rather than go to heaven." I answered. He looked at me astonished.
"You honestly think that?" he asked appalled by the very idea. I nodded. "Are you insane? Look man, I know I'm not the smartest guy in the world and maybe I'm not nearly as old as you but even I know that's not true. We all have souls and we have the same chances humans do. We just need to make the right choices." he replied.
"But I have made all the wrong ones. I shouldn't exist, Jason. I should have died back in 1918. I'm a monster."
"Now I see what Anne was talking about in the field while she was catching me up, mentioning how annoying this conversation is. I may not like you and you may have hurt my sister but even I have to admit that you're not a monster. You are trying to fight against the vampire instinct to hurt a human. Before you left Bella, you were there helping her, protecting her when I couldn't be there. You were cheering her up when she was sad. You made her happy, Edward. So maybe you were supposed to have died in 1918 but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you are here. I should have died over a decade ago. You don't see me getting all mopey. So stop being so moody and get over it!" he demanded. I stood there shocked. No one has ever responded like that. This was a surprise, that's for sure.
"No one's ever said that to me." I responded quietly and still awestruck. He shrugged.
"Yeah that's probably because people are politer than I am when it comes to things like that. You see, I'm kind of impulsive. I just do or say what I want. I don't hold things in. I'm cool like that." he said proudly. I chuckled and he did the same. There was a small silence in the air before Jason spoke. "So you really do love Bella?" he asked softly. I nodded.
"Yes. I would do anything for her. If you thought the same thing I did, wouldn't you do the same for Anne?" I replied. He nodded.
"Yeah. I love Anne with all my heart." he answered. "But there's one thing I don't understand. If you love her so much, if it was so hard to leave her, why didn't you come back?" he asked. I bowed my head at the painful memory.
"I did. I went over to Charlie's to see her, only to find out she had died a few weeks after we'd left. It was the worst type of agony you could ever imagine. I felt my whole world crash down. I wanted nothing more than to just die then and there. If it hadn't been for Alice I would have." I said.
"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously. I nodded, my eyes still avoiding his face. "Do you have any idea what that would have done to Bella if she found out you were dead?! It was bad enough that you hurt her by leaving her but you would have caused her more pain by doing that! What the heck were you thinking?! Committing suicide was not the answer! I cannot believe you would do that! I know you thought she was dead but even if she was she wouldn't want you to go and kill yourself! How would you feel if she were in your position?! Would you want her to kill herself?!" he yelled, making both of us flinch at his last sentence. Bella said the same thing when we'd been at Charlie's watching Romeo and Juliet. I waited for him to calm down before commenting.
"You and Bella really are alike. She'd said the same thing to me when we first had this discussion." I commented.
"Yeah well, Bellsy and I have always been similar in some ways. Anne says that we are both kind and concerned about others. John says we're both stubborn and have quick tempers." I chuckled both at the truth of the statement and Jason's glare he had when he mentioned it.
"You and John really don't get along do you?"
"Nope. Not at all. We both don't like each other. He can be such a pain in the butt sometimes. But I do respect him for being protective of Anne. He's just as protective of her as I am of Bella." he admitted. "Which brings me back to what else I brought you out here for. I for some reason believe you when you say you love her. But that doesn't mean I trust you quite yet, just that I'm not going to try and separate you two. But one false move, you hurt her or leave her ever again and I will rip you apart and burn the pieces. Bella has been through enough over this last few years and she doesn't need you hurting her again. I won't let it happen." threatened Jason. I nodded.
"I understand." Jason smiles.
"This was easier than I thought it would be. We'd better head back. Race ya?" said Jason, grinning. I nodded. We ran back into the field. The next thing I know, I am pushed to the ground and feeling someone with great strength punching me repeatedly in my face.
I walked toward the field, knowing there'd be questions to answer. I was unsure of what to do. How do you tell your old vampire boyfriend you and him have kids? How do you tell him that his own kids hate him? This was not going to be an easy conversation to have with him. I just don't know how to go about this. It's not something you can just come right out and say. The only plan I've been able to come up with is have this conversation away from the rest of the Cullens. No one else could know until after I told Edward. It wasn't right for someone else to know before him. I couldn't help my family knowing though. They were the only ones that knew the truth for now. I was extremely nervous about telling Edward. What would he say? Would he leave again? That possibility frightened me. One thing made me feel better. Alice had no clue. The triplets, just like the wolves, are hard for psychic vampires to see. Anne could barely see them. She couldn't at first until she had grown accustomed to it up to a point where she learned to somewhat see them. Anne can see blurs but she can see enough that she can understand the vision.
I was lucky to have my family with me all this time. It had been hard to find out that I got pregnant by Edward after he left me. I had no idea what to do. Jake had been the one to comfort me during that difficult time prior to Anne's, Jason's, and John's arrivals. It was lucky Sam knew someone who knew John. As it turns out, John was sort of friends with a werewolf Sam had run into before. Sam called the other werewolf and the other werewolf contacted John. It was lucky that it turned out to be John. John was the one who had brought my brother and Anne to see me. John didn't know Jason was my brother but called him and Anne to talk. They came and Jason ran straight to me. I told him everything and that was when his resentment toward Edward started. Afterwards, Jason didn't leave my side unless he had to and Anne did all the things I needed. John had done the same. I couldn't have been any luckier than I had been then.
As I came closer to the field I heard someone getting punched and some people yelling. At first I thought it was just Jason and John fighting. They did this all the time so they were the first people to come to mind. It wasn't until I heard the Cullens yelling that I discarded that theory. My feet ran faster until I reached the field. Then I saw it, Edward on the ground and someone punching him. Hey I know that jacket from somewhere. I know that hair color. I looked next to the attacker and knew instantly who it was. Oh no! This cannot be good!