It won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange, when I try to explain how I feel.
Don’t cry for me, Argentina. The truth is, I never left you…
Inverted nipples. What the…
Did he just experience an Inception dream-sequence in the reflection of an inverted nipple? The life of a Plastic Surgeon was no joke. And he was gaping like a fool. His Mink dropping consult was preening like a peacock, evidently assuming an interest that wasn’t there.
Two simultaneously occurring happenings snapped him out of his hypnotic daze. Had he learned nothing from that seemingly clairvoyant event? From that frightful alternate reality brought to a movie theatre near him? And by means of a precognitive cheat sheet that he’d miraculously been privy to?
The first was a ghostly back to the head whack. Grandma Joey, with a stern no-no frown aimed at his would-be patient, followed by an eye-roll and audacious wink to him. Clearly, he was the only one that could see her, but the sting of the smack confused him. Phantom pain, maybe? Anyway, he got the message. He’d never had any intention of going there anyway.
“Oh, excuse me, I didn’t know you were with a patient, Dr. Avery.” And that was the second happenstance – April-Harriet interruptus. A brief disturbance as she exited the examination room swiftly, baby in tow. He felt like he hadn’t seen his princess in like forever.
Wait, what was happening to his speech? Had he actually been body-snatched? Whose brain did he have?
Nah, he was just deflecting from April having seen him appear to be mesmerized by the knockers on a nude patient. Her eyes seemed to scream, “How dare you make me see that with my own two eyes?” This was not the manner of consults, and she knew this. He probably had some ’splaining to do. Which he was anxious to get to. After he evicted the brain transplant recruiter.
Since he couldn’t be sure that the experience wasn’t simply his imagination playing wild tricks on him, he gave diplomacy a shot. Also, he was still an Avery, with all its connotations. That meant good manners bred to the bone. But he did sorta put his foot in it…deliberately maybe?
“I’m sorry, Ms. Mankles, I mean Cankles…err Melly…sorry…its K..Smirnoff right? Anyway, I apologize but I’m unable to take on your case. I do, however have a list of recommendations. They’re all top notch and will be able to render any corrective surgery you require Ms. Mankles.”
“I’ll leave the list with the nurse outside. Please get dressed and see yourself out.” He left no space for any prevarications from her and no time to respond. It was a done deal. Never let it be said that he didn’t heed the universe’s red flags. “Oh and by the way…on behalf of all Black Men, stay away from us.”