Songs of the heart
He was tired as he rode slowly through the gate and into the yard. The day had been very long and extremely tiresome. Having to deal with the courtiers of his grandfather’s court could be challenging to say the least and since his father was away he had to take his place. Not that he would complain, he saw it as a duty and a pleasure too, taking some of the load off his father’s shoulders. But damn it, sometimes he wished that he could escape his role as firstborn, just for a while.
A servant came to get his tired horse and he hung his dusty cloak over a chair and entered the main hall. It was quiet, his parents had taken all the younger sons and gone to Mahtan to celebrate the twin’s begetting day and only he and Maglor remained at home. Maedhros had duties to take care off and Maglor? Well, he always did things his own way and he had wanted to go to some musical performance in the city. Maedhros supposed that he would have returned by now, it was very late. He walked to the kitchen and found some bread and cheese, he was hungry. When he became irritated he always reacted with hunger, of one sort or another. He couldn’t fathom how Finwë did cope with the constant pressure, the never ending stream of elves begging for attention, for heightened status, for help with this and that, some were just complaining about things so seemingly unimportant Maedhros never would have bothered even mentioning it, and absolutely not to the high king.
When he had eaten he walked through the silent house and wondered about how alien it was without the constant ruckus of his brothers and parents. There was never a quiet moment in this house, ever! If it wasn’t his father demonstrating some wondrous new invention it was Celegorm bringing some wounded and noisy unfortunate creature back with him to let it heal, or Caranthir threw a tantrum, or Curufin tried to copy Fëanor and caused explosions. The twins were the worst for they were still at that age when practical jokes are so very fun and the servants were reduced to nervous wrecks by now. Maedhros couldn’t count how many times the cook had found toads in the cupboards or the house keeper had fallen victim to the infamous bucket over the door trick. With those two you just never knew, he still remembered with horror the one time they had spiked the berry juice served at a begetting day celebration with sweet wine, there had been loads and loads of very drunk puking and crying elflings and parents ready to warm the behind of the ones responsible.
He was walking towards his room when he heard distant music, ah, Maglor was of course back home and he sighed and changed his course, almost reluctantly. His brother was sitting in the music room, playing his harp absentmindedly as he stared up towards the ceiling with an odd expression on his face. He was obviously ready for bed for he wore just a pair of loose soft pants and an open shirt and he did look so beautiful it almost hurt looking at him. Maedhros didn’t recognize the song he was singing, it was more like he was trying to sing several songs at the same time. He cleared his throat and Maglor turned his head, sent him a slow smile. “Greetings brother, you have finally managed to break free from the clutches of the sirens of court?”
Maedhros had to scoff. “Sirens? More like a pack of hungry octopus, they were like leeches today”
Maglor patted the bench he was sitting on. “Come, sit, tell me more”
Maedhros sighed deeply. “I’d rather not, I prefer to forget about it, completely!”
Maglor tilted his head. “Oh come on, there has to be something you can speak of? Something entertaining?”
Maedhros had to grin, a very wry grin which showed most of his teeth. “Oh, well, there was one case which was entertaining, grandfather was dealing with that one but I was there, watching the whole debacle”
Maglor almost purred, was he drunk? “Do tell, please”
Maedhros sat back and felt how his neck and shoulders felt stiff like ironing boards, damnation, this day had indeed taken its toll on him. “Well, it was this one noble, from the more distant parts of the court. He wanted grandfather to arrest a certain young ellon, for having, and I quote; caused irreparable damage to his daughter’s honor and good reputation”
Maglor almost giggled. “Uh-oh, I think I have heard rumors of that. What happened?”
Maedhros felt like chuckling a bit too. “Father asked if the ellon in question had bedded his daughter and when the lord answered that yes he had grandfather just proclaimed that the two then were married according to the ancient laws and that there was naught anybody could do. The ellon in question is supposedly of a lower social status than the maid…whoops, lady in question”
Maglor put his harp down. “Wonderful, that is what I call a smart manner of climbing the social ladder, by fucking your way up!”
Maedhros grunted. “ I am not so sure about that, you know, the fellow will have in laws that probably are gonna hate his guts forever”
Maglor stretched like a cat. “Yes, but he will gain some influence after all, and wealth too”
Maedhros did notice the wine glass on the floor, and half a bottle of their father’s finest wine. “Have you been in the wine cellar? That wine is for special occasions? “
Maglor pouted, yes, he was definitely a wee bit drunk. “And tonight was a special occasion for sure”
Maedhros frowned. “How come? “
Maglor sighed. “Tonight I have had the doubtful pleasure of overhearing the most pitiful performance in the history of Arda!”
Maedhros had to snigger. “Really? That bad?”
Maglor rolled his eyes, “Worse! I am telling you brother, that flutist shouldn’t have been allowed near a flute ever, not even with a ten foot pole. It was…it was torture”
Maedhros knew that Maglor was regarded as one of the most talented musicians ever, and he never failed to tell his honest meaning about other musicians. “How bad was it then? Did he forget the tune?”
Maglor sat up again, his back straight and his chin raised. “He couldn’t hit one tone right, the melody could not even be recognized and the rhythm? Oh Eru, I have heard toddlers play way better than that.”
Maedhros found that he was relaxing, just sitting there with his brother felt very good, safe almost. “So the conclusion is?”
Maglor made a sweeping gesture with his right hand. “That the sorry excuse for a musician ought to change his profession, I bet he would make an excellent tanner, or potter. He had the audacity to come to me after the concert, begging me to recommend him to the head of the music academy”
Maedhros had to cough. “What? What did you say then?”
Maglor sent his brother a very dark glance. “Oh I said that I would recommend him alright, if he would suck me off in the backroom”
Maedhros was glad he didn’t have anything in his mouth there and then, for he would have spat it out all over the place. “What?! Are you kidding me?”
Maglor shrugged. “Nope, he did agree too”
Maedhros swallowed hard, this was a side of his brother few ever saw, or even imagined. For a moment he felt a sting of jealousy, almost rage. “So?”
Maglor grinned widely. “So? We went to the backroom, he got at it and I have to admit, he was no better at sucking cock than he was at playing the flute, the least satisfying blow job I have ever received, I didn’t even come”
Maedhros bit his lower lip, he felt a sort of relief, and it also sounded almost comical. “Really? He was that terrible?”
Maglor nodded solemnly. “I am glad I still have a cock left, the point is to suck right, not nibble. He was all teeth, like…like a shark!”
Maedhros cringed. “He hadn’t done it before?”
Maglor made a grimace. “No shit, I told him that he ought to reconsider his career, and use his hands and mouth too for something useful instead of tormenting the ears of others.”
Maedhros knew of none more gentle and friendly than Maglor and yet he had a hidden wicked streak few ever saw. It did take a lot for it to appear so he guessed that this flute player really had managed to tick Maglor off. No wonder considering how dedicated his brother was to his music or music in general. Maglor sighed. “So here I am, miserable, with the memory of a most horrid concert stuck in my mind and more so, an aching member. Yes I did take the wine, I needed it, badly”
Maedhros blinked and turned around. “He didn’t harm you now did he?”
The very idea of teeth being used down there made him cringe. Maglor sighed and lifted his hips off the bench, slid his pants down and Maedhros had to take a deep breath. His brother was half hard and had some red marks which clearly showed that the experience hadn’t been all that pleasurable at all. “Oh fuck, that looks…not good”
Maglor rolled his eyes. “That is the understatement of this age Nelyo, I was afraid he would bite it off. Eru, I didn’t dare to move at all”
Maedhros had to laugh and Maglor leaned towards him, resting his head on his brother’s shoulder. “ Do you remember that day by the lake?”
Maedhros swallowed, stared down. Maglor had closed his eyes and he did look like a dream like that, a beautiful and slightly debauched dream with his pants around his thighs and his shirt open all the way down. “Yes, how can I not”
Maglor nuzzled against his neck, warm breath was tickling Maedhros skin and he felt his heart speeding up. “Could you repeat it, please?”
Maedhros swallowed hard. “Of course”
It was wrong, so very wrong and yet…it didn’t feel that way, it never had, not since that evening when they had crossed that line, done something of which nobody ought to know. It was bad enough that he had become the lover of his own cousin, but this? This was taking it to a whole new level, and yet he couldn’t resist, couldn’t even question it for it felt so right, so natural. In all the years since he had always known that only his brother truly understood him, truly loved him. Oh he had tried to deny it, lie to himself but it was just foolish. If this was a sin they were both condemned by now for surely the valar would know of such depraved activities but why not enjoy it and live for as long as it lasted?
They had been out in the woods south of Tirion, on a trip which had taken a few days. Fëanor had sent them to gather some quartz crystals from some cliffs famous for having a high content of the material and they had found some beautiful specimen already. Maedhros was close to his coming of age ceremony, and Maglor was still regarded as a mere youth, but he was fully grown, just immature of mind. Maglor had in fact caused his parents some concern, he had matured very slowly compared to Maedhros and it seemed as if his head had a hard time catching up with his body. Then he sort of made up for lost time in just a few months and he almost drove his parents off the walls with moods swings, disobedience and a general lack of common sense.
Nerdanel didn’t have time to really sit down and talk to him since she had younger sons to tend to, and Fëanor tried but he didn’t really seem to reach his second born all that well. Maglor was simply too different of mind and thought. Maedhros on the other hand did understand him, and became his confidant and support. This very day Maglor was to stay in the camp while Maedhros went out to look for new places to look and he didn’t anticipate to return before the late evening. He had been riding around for some hours when his horse suddenly started to limp and he had to return to camp, earlier than expected and without any new crystals. He felt a bit disappointed but the well-being of his horse was more important and his father would understand that. He rode into the camp and found it empty, but it was very hot this day and there was a small pond not far from it and he did suspect that Maglor had gone to the pond to cool off. It was in fact a very good idea and he got rid of the sweaty clothes he had been wearing and sauntered off towards the pond.
He stopped when he heard moans, quiet and very melodious ones but moans none the less. He blinked, feeling a bit confused. Was his brother in pain? No, the moans were not that type of sounds, and he felt his ears turn red with embarrassment. He had almost walked in on his brother pleasuring himself, he ought to go back and wait for a while before he returned. Giving Maglor some privacy, it was the right thing to do. And yet he remained standing there, as if he was frozen. The sounds told of pleasure, but also frustration and he swallowed and felt torn in half. Was something wrong? He had answered some rather awkward questions coming from Maglor when Fëanor wasn’t there and it wasn’t as if he was shy or anything. The two of them usually kept no secrets from one another.
He turned around again, walked slowly towards the pond, peeped out from behind the bushes. Maglor was laying on the grass, stretched out with the thick black hair like a halo around his head and he was moaning still, writhing and trembling. The sight made Maedhros tremble too, it was something about it that made his mouth dry and his heart start to beat like a drum. Maglor was so unimaginably beautiful like that, with the perfect flawless silky pale skin and the youthful and yet strong body, he did look so tempting, so delectable. Maedhros imagined tasting that smooth skin, licking his way down the toned chest and head further down.
Maglor was stroking himself but it didn’t seem as if he was able to finish, or rather, that he was afraid too. The frustrated sounds were almost pained and Maedhros made a decision. He was the older brother, if there was something bothering Maglor he ought to help him right? He remembered being that age himself, his hormones had been raging all over the place and Fêanor had given him that little chat, it had been terribly embarrassing but it had explained quite a lot and Maedhros suspected that their father perhaps had used another version for Maglor, since he was a more timid and introverted person.
He walked out into the sunshine and Maglor heard him, gasped and curled up like a ball, blushing and shivering. “You…you are back!”
Maedhros sat down next to him, he did notice that Maglor was covered with sweat, and that he had to have been at it for a while. “Yes, my horse went lame, I just returned. “
There was a heavy and awkward silence and Maedhros did see that Maglor was breathing hard still. He tried to find the right words to say, it wasn’t easy. “Uh, are you…are you having…problems?”
Maglor jerked, bit his lower lip. “I…yes…Ah…”
Maedhros took his hand. “You can tell me, we are brothers right? And best friends too”
Maglor did look down, his chin trembling. “ It is so embarrassing”
Maedhros tried to be the responsible elder now, but it felt difficult. Why was his brother so fucking beautiful, so incredibly tempting? “Just get it off your chest, it will feel better afterwards, I promise!”
Maglor whimpered. “Oh Eru, I…”
Maedhros guessed that he would need to help Maglor on the way. “You were…having some fun…with yourself? But?”
Maglor turned around swiftly, buried his face against Maedhros neck like he had done when he was so much younger and something had scared him. “ I don’t dare to…you know…it just…it is too much”
Maedhros could barely hear what his brother was saying but he did manage to piece the words together and he hesitantly started stroking the silky black locks, like had so many times before. They had sort of grown apart over the last decades, he guessed that it was just natural but he still remembered taking care of his younger brother when their mother and father were too busy. “You don’t dare to continue until you…come… Right?”
Maglor sort of whined. “Yes, I…I do dream…but when awake, it…It is so overwhelming”
Maedhros sighed, of course, Maglor was a very sensitive young ellon, but he did have strong feelings, they had seen that many times when he snapped and got angry and he probably possessed strong passion too. And if he tried to remain in control of himself even now that would very naturally cause some problems. Maglor sort of scoffed. “I just can’t…let go”
Maedhros smiled, feeling a bit embarrassed and oddly enough he also felt a deep sensation of love, of camaraderie. “You have to you know, that is what this is all about, letting go and enjoying it.”
Maglor nodded, his face still hidden. “ I know, but…”
Maedhros didn’t know what possessed him there and then. “I could help you”
Maglor froze, tensed up, then he lifted his face, slowly, eyes filled with wonder and a sort of anxious hope. “You can?”
Maedhros tried to smile. “Yes, I am your older brother right? I ought to be there for you, to help you, in every way I can, even thus”
Maglor held his breath. “Then I say yes, help me, show me…show me how to do it right”
Maedhros felt his own heart beating so fast, so wild. He wasn’t inexperienced, he had tried and learned and explored also this part of life and he was sought after, both because of his beauty and because of his status. But this was his own brother, his own flesh and blood and by Eru, it was so wrong. He laid down next to Maglor and tried to smile. “Relax, see what I do and…just do the same”
Maglor nodded, blushing so hard his ears were red, he was so utterly adorable like that, so innocent and yet so tempting. Maedhros spat into his own hand. “It is always better with some lubricant, remember that”
Maglor nodded and did the same, stared wide eyed at Maedhros as he started to stroke himself slowly, while he used his other hand on his balls and inner thighs. It felt intense, knowing that Maglor watched him made it so utterly…He couldn’t even find the right word, he just kept going, gasping as his pleasure rose and Maglor did copy his every move. The dark haired young minstrel was soon making mewling sounds, thrusting into his own grip and yet he didn’t take his eyes off his brother, not even once. He stared with glassy eyes and his mouth open and it was the most erotic thing Maedhros had seen so far. It was hard not coming right there and then just from seeing this. Maglor was panting, writhing and soon he tensed up, heaving for air. “Nelyo..I am…”
Maedhros acted upon some sort of reflex, or an until then unknown wish. He leaned over and let his hand replace Maglor’s, felt that his brother’s cock was a wee bit different from his own, not quite as large but the unfamiliar sensation sent shivers of sheer arousal through him. He started stroking in a steady rhythm and Maglor grasped onto tufts of grass, head tossed back, mouth open. Back arching and legs trembling, keening, whimpering and then he froze, eyes rolling up into his head. “Nnnn….ne…Nelyo!!”
Maglor let out a hoarse roar, Maedhros watched as he spilled, shooting thick jets of white come over his own belly, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He grasped onto his shaking sibling, pressed himself against the warm body and thrust against it, moaning as he too came, hard and almost violently. Maglor was limp in his arms, heaving for air, flushed and slick with sweat and spilled seed. It was the most debauched and wonderful sight Maedhros had ever seen and it made his heart skip a few beats. Maglor tried to smile. “Nelyo, that was….Oh Eru, it was so good!”
He closed his eyes, the dark locks wet with sweat and Maedhros suddenly wanted to lick every drop of sweat and seed off him, to claim him in every manner possible and screw the fact that they would be regarded as perverted or even sick if anyone found out. He was still shaking with the aftershocks of the orgasm he just had enjoyed, and in spite of that he just wanted more. So much more! He got up on his hands and knees, leaning over Maglor, sniffing him and then kissing his neck, licking it tentatively. Maglor squealed, froze, then he relaxed, gasping yet again. “Yes, Nelyo, yes”
It became a frenzy after that, a hunger and a burning obsession which claimed both, body and soul. He licked and kissed and nipped, tasting and exploring and Maglor did his best to follow him, to learn from it all. Maedhros sucked on Maglor’s ears and made his younger brother squeal with delight, thrust his tongue into the wet cavern of his mouth and explored it and the sensation of slick wet tongues dancing together almost made them both come yet again. He let his tongue draw wet paths down the sweaty body, let his hands caress and explore, find every sensitive spot, every inch of skin capable of creating pleasure. It was the act of a lover, not a relative and somewhere in his mind he knew it was a horrible sin but he couldn’t have cared less.
They laid there on the grass entwined like ivy branches and both were grasped by the same need, the same lack of doubt or inhibitions. Maedhros was teasing the cleft of Maglor’s ass while slowly sucking him and the singer was making such exquisite sounds as he was bearing closer and closer to yet another climax. He did wet a finger with spit, pushed it inside very gently and Maglor keened, hips jerking involuntarily as he came, spilling down Maedhros throat. He kept crying out, grasping onto locks of dark red hair, thrusting into the tight heat until all his energy was spent and he came down again from his high. Maedhros felt the bitter salty taste of his brother’s spend, it was not that different from the taste of himself and he crawled up a bit, made Maglor turn over, asked a silent question with his eyes, an unspoken plea.
Maglor did understand, he grasped onto Maedhros hip for support, then he opened his mouth carefully and started licking and sucking very carefully, almost nervously. Maedhros didn’t push him, didn’t try to rush it in any way. His brother had never done this before and he didn’t want to frighten him or hurt him in any way. But Maglor was a natural at it, and before long Maedhros couldn’t hold back even for a second longer, he came howling his brother’s name and Maglor did allow him to come in his mouth. Afterwards they did take a bath and Maedhros knew that they had done something very forbidden but it didn’t feel wrong at all and he chose to ignore that little voice at the back of his head saying that this never ought to happen again, ever!
Maglor was snuggling up against him the way he had when they both were considered elflings and it felt as if he had gotten his brother back somehow. It was some sort of unspoken pact between them, a silent understanding. They would kiss, cuddle and explore, each time going a bit further and Maedhros realized that he no longer could excuse himself with claiming that he was teaching his brother the stuff he needed to know, he wanted to keep Maglor to himself, to make him just his own. Before they were to return to their home Maglor begged Maedhros to take him for real, to fuck him, claim him, go all the way. But Maedhros refused, they were both too young and he didn’t want to harm his brother, more so, it would be hard to hide from their parents. And so they kept their little secret, meeting in secret or when they were alone.
Later on Fingon entered court to learn and Maedhros was swept off his feet by the younger elf’s almost bottomless admiration. Fingon was always there by his side, doe eyed and eager to soak up everything Maedhros could teach him. It didn’t take long before Fingon started to offer more than just companionship, he was still so young and yet he had no inhibitions when it came to his tall redheaded cousin and Maedhros sort of used him as a substitute for his brother. Fucking his cousin wasn’t quite as wrong as fucking his own sibling and it kept him satisfied too, and it was always good. Fingon was way more feminine than Maglor, his features more delicate and yet there was strength in him, a sort of wild fire Maglor lacked. Maedhros knew that Fëanor knew of this relationship, he didn’t say anything but Maedhros suspected that he did find the idea of his own son fucking his half brother’s son’s ass on a regular basis quite entertaining.
Maglor had come of age, and one quiet evening they met in the basement of the palace of their grandfather and this time Maedhros took his brother. Maglor screamed as he was being breached for the first time, clawing at his brother in a mix of passion, pleasure and pain, out of his mind with lust. Maedhros had been just as crazy, just as driven. It had been wild, insane. Afterwards they both knew that this had changed everything, they had crossed the ultimate line and whatever innocence they may have owned was forever gone. Maedhros tried to stay away from Maglor after that night, to a degree that made his mother nervously ask if they had some sort of problem with each-other. Has they been quarrelling? Was there anything she could do? Fëanor also did notice that Maedhros and Maglor tried to shun each-other and so they pretended to be as close as before, just to keep the secret hidden. It was hard, hard to act as if they were ordinary siblings when all they wanted was to tear each-other’s clothes off and just fuck like mad.
Maedhros would seek out Fingon on occasions like that, when he and Maglor had been forced to stay together for days, without being able to do anything out of the ordinary. Fingon was submissive, would allow anything really, and Maedhros did appreciate it but he couldn’t bring himself to truly love his cousin. Not the way he now loved his brother, not entirely. Fingon was like a child compared with Maglor, so different and with a very soft personality. Maglor too seemed to be soft and pliant to anyone not really knowing him but he had a steel hard core and Maedhros knew that Maglor was the strongest of them all. The one to really keep his back straight no matter what and fight for what he believed in.
Maedhros was popular, his beauty famous and he learned to reap whatever benefits he could. He did prefer males but he did fuck quite a few nissi as well, and he liked it. He liked to see them laying there, more or less knocked out by his rather vigorous bed manners and with his seed smeared all over their thighs and sex. He liked that they looked utterly debauched and almost soiled, that cool superior and haughty attitude many had completely ruined. But the females often spoke of marriage, of a family and a future and so he preferred the males instead. They were more robust too, could take it whatever he felt like doing and he had quite a few lovers, loved to hear them beg and whimper, to degrade themselves and become moaning wanton whores.
Maglor too would sample the joys of life, and Maedhros would become very jealous when he noticed that someone did fancy his brother. He didn’t do anything about it, for how could he, but it made his heart ache. He remembered one time when he had come across Maglor in a backroom of the royal stables, the singer had been there with a nobleman from the king’s court and Maedhros had seen that ner fuck his brother hard against the wall. He remembered seeing Maglor’s face, contorted by pleasure and hearing the grunts and groans of the stranger as he thrust desperately into Maglor’s body. The nobleman had roared like a buck when he came, and Maedhros had felt an anger like none other, he would have wrung that ellon’s neck if he could, killed him in cold blood.
When the nobleman left Maedhros had entered the room, Maglor had been leaning against the wall, still panting and gasping, legs shivering and the seed of the nobleman slowly dribbling down his legs. Maedhros hadn’t spoken, he had just grasped Maglor, thrown him over a saddle which was hung onto a rack there and took him hard, like a horse mounts a mare. The sight had aroused him to an almost unbearable level and he felt angry too, hurt almost. He didn’t know why he did it, to punish Maglor or himself, or just to vent his frustration but he didn’t stop until Maglor had come twice and was begging to be released and he pushed in until he was balls deep in his brother’s ass and spilled with a yell, filling Maglor’s quivering body to the point of agony. He did bite Maglor’s neck, and the minstrel had to wear robes with a very high collar for weeks afterwards for the marks were very visible. It was a luck high collars were the height of fashion just then, and the higher the better.
He was jealous of all his brother’s lovers and hiding it was so very hard. Maglor knew, and yet he almost seemed to ignore it, perhaps it felt better that way, perhaps he tried to deny that there was something going on between the two of them, something forbidden. Maedhros sought refuge in the arms of Fingon and his cousin was still so infatuated with him that he never questioned anything they did. Maedhros would take his cousin on long trips, apparently to teach him different things but in reality he used these journeys to forget about his brother for a while and just enjoy his cousin’s warm and willing body. It had been like that now for years, a careful balance not to reveal what he really felt, a dance on a razor’s edge which left their nerves rather strained at times.
Maglor had been working at the academy for some months and Maedhros had missed him, but he had tried to act as if nothing was wrong. Now that he had returned it was hard to return home, knowing that it was impossible to act upon the feelings he did have. Now he was sorely tempted and Maglor leaned against him again, with that soft expression of longing in his eyes. “Will it feel better if I start?”
Maedhros could only nod and Maglor slid down onto the floor, kneeling on the thick carpet in front of the bench. He nuzzled against Maedhros thighs, strong calloused hands caressing his hips and sliding over his crotch. The tall redhead could only gasp, it had been so long since they last had been together like this, too long. Maglor almost purred, the soft voice filled with seduction, with promises. “The servants are all asleep or at their own homes, worry not”
Maedhros had spread his legs, feeling how his pants had gotten rather uncomfortable by now, too tight. Maglor slowly unlaced the garment while ridding himself of his own pants and shirt. They all did train rather hard and Maglor wasn’t soft or in any way weak, he was toned and elegant and Maedhros was never able to remain unaffected by his beauty. They said that Celegorm had become a rare beauty with his silvery blonde hair, a heritage from Miriel for sure but he preferred that dark hair and the more subtle mysterious look. Maglor had freed his cock by now, opened the thick robes and Maedhros let them slide off, almost as an afterthought as his brother started to paying attention to the aching length. Maedhros had always been a bit proud of his height and stature and he was not disproportionate in any way. He was very well endowed in deed and Maglor had some problems dealing with it but he had learned to relax his throat and jaw by now and was able to do the job rather well. In fact he was the best Maedhros had ever had when it came to oral sex. It had to be the voice training, it involved quite a lot of breathing exercises and that came in handy now.
Maglor started to suck slowly, in a rhythm which could take him almost there but not all the way. Maedhros allowed his brother to slide his pants down and remove them, the minstrel didn’t stop moving his head even once. He did hollow out his cheeks and used his tongue with wicked determination, teasing Maedhros balls and ass with clever fingers. Maedhros grasped onto some locks of the thick silky hair, trying to be in control but that was impossible. It didn’t last long before he felt himself tense up, Maglor speed up, rushed him headlong into a veritable maelstrom of sensations and Maedhros had a hard time stopping himself from screaming when he came. Maglor was good at this, he kept swallowing until Maedhros was utterly spent and licked him carefully clean before releasing him again, grinning widely. “Now, I expect a reward for that”
Maedhros was panting and he felt slightly dizzy. “Of course, let me catch my breath”
Maglor just sent him a wicked smirk and got up, sat down in the bench with his legs spread wide in an open invitation. Maedhros almost growled from the sight. “Do you want me to fuck you or suck you?”
Maglor tilted his head, the dark grey eyes shining. “You chose brother dearest, I am longing for your touch, no matter what”
Maedhros didn’t hesitate, he just grasped onto the long legs and pulled his brother to the edge of the bench and managed to pull Maglor’s legs over his own shoulders before he leaned forth and used some spit to ease the way. He plunged forth and Maglor threw his head back, keening. It felt like nothing else in this world, none other felt as good as his brother. Maedhros started thrusting and Maglor was grasping onto him, pulling him down for a wild kiss. Maglor was very flexible and able to twist himself into the most incredible positions, Maedhros had been shocked by this more times than just one and the bench was really being tested now. It did take quite a heavy punishment indeed. Because of Maedhros position the bench was pushed forth a few inches with each thrust. At the end the poor innocent piece of furniture collided with the wall and was stuck.
Maglor finished with a sobbing sound, his come being smeared out over their bellies and Maedhros held him firmly in place while he pushed on and raced headlong into yet another climax. It left him howling with delight and Maglor pulled him down, stifled the sound with a new kiss. They laid there sweating and feeling wrung out like a washcloth until Maedhros managed to find his legs again. “Eru, I needed that!”
Maglor giggled. “You haven’t met Fingon lately? I have heard rumors”
Maedhros swallowed, sat down and gathered their discarded clothing, he suddenly felt miserable yet again, “No, I haven’t.”
Maglor sighed and caressed his shoulders, sat up and started rubbing them. “Then the rumors are true?”
Maedhros shrugged. “Maybe, I haven’t got a clue really”
Fingon had been acting strange lately, he had been busy or so he said and when he and Maedhros did meet he was as kind and friendly as before but less eager, less uninhibited. He seemed to be worried for some reason and he was no longer initiating anything. Maglor tilted his head. “They say that uncle want’s him go get married”
Maedhros swallowed hard, that could be it. Fingon was a very obedient son, if Fingolfin had found some suitable nis Fingon would obey and marry her, no questions asked. Maedhros didn’t quite know what that made him feel, hurt? Betrayed? He felt his heart drop quite a bit and Maglor sighed and embraced him. “Easy, I am sure you will continue to be good friends. I know he had a crush on you but such things, you know they end eventually”
Maedhros could only nod, Maglor was right, the once childlike worship he had seen in Fingon’s eyes was long gone, the admiration was still there but now it was there for other reasons and Fingon had grown up, he no longer needed an idol for he was a grown ellon now, and someone others did look up to. Of course he would have to get married, to provide an heir. Maedhros had never been pushed in that direction and he was so glad his father was understanding and supportive, Fëanor did understand, he knew what it was like to be a first born son, he didn’t want his own sons to go through the same things he had been through, the pressure and the expectations and the sheer madness that was the political life of Tirion. Being a part of court could be compared with trying to swim across a powerful maelstrom, you only got one chance at making it right. Fêanor knew how to tread those waters safely and his position was secured since he was the first born son of Finwë but to all others the ever changing ties of loyalty and service could be confusing to say the least. One wrong move and anybody could become a nobody over night, Finwë was very glad when his sons and grandsons helped him keeping the wild herd of nobles in check.
Maedhros sighed, the last time he had Fingon had met it had been a polite and chaste meeting, one with no sexual innuendo at all. Fingon had lost his crush on him, that was blatantly obvious now that he was thinking of it. Yes, Fingon did still appreciate him as a friend but they would probably never be more than friends anymore so what now? Who would he turn to now? He couldn’t do what he wanted to do, stay with Maglor all the time, that would be suspicious and yet that was the only thing which could soothe his aching heart. Maglor sighed and embraced him. “Listen, I will try in every way possible to be there for you brother, Fingon was…I know he was good for you but it was just a thing alright? He was so young and it is easy to be swept away by your charm, heck, I do remember how magnificent you were and still are. That poor lad never stood a chance. “
Maedhros managed to smile. “Are you saying that I am irresistible?”
Maglor snickered. “Pretty much yes, you must have noticed how everybody stares at you, even the vanyar?”
Maedhros shuddered. “Ugh, yes, I remember one vanyar noblewoman, I was afraid she would physically assault me”
Maglor nodded. “Yes, exactly. Many seek me too but that is because of my voice, they want to hear me sing, regard me as something sublime, untouchable, almost divine. They would never think of fucking me, for that would be like debasing something they see as pure. You on the other hand, you just exude sensuality, and with your height it is bloody hard to ignore you too”
Maedhros had to snigger. “I am bloody lighthouse now am I?”
Maglor snuggled against his chest, a wicked tongue darted out and started to give his nipples some very naughty attention. “Yes, the light of my life, you know there aren’t anything I wouldn’t do for you”
Maedhros had to moan. “I know, oh hell Maglor, stop that unless you want another round”
Maglor cocked his head and smirked, oh that sly expression within his eyes, the silent challenge, the self-assuredness Fingon had lacked. Maglor knew what he wanted and how to get it. “And what if I do want another round?”
Maedhros got up. “Then let us find a room first, this bench must be put back into place and I am afraid we have stained it, a lot!”
Maglor just shrugged. “I will spill some wine over the stains, nobody will notice”
He poured a generous amount of the sticky red wine over the tell tale signs of their activities and they pushed the bench back into its original spot. Maedhros dragged Maglor back to his own room, eager to make the most of the time they could spend together thus, unexposed.
They fell asleep in each other’s arms, covered with sweat and Maglor had been licking wine off Maedhros body and left him feeling sticky all over, and they both did stink of sex and spilled body fluids. Yet they felt good, satiated and relaxed and Maedhros had hoped and almost prayed that they could have this forever, that there hadn’t been any laws or rules against what they shared. As he fell asleep he knew that the bitterness he had started to feel towards Fingon was gone, who was he to blame someone else for the ways of their hearts? He promised that he would treat his cousin with all due respect and do his outmost to preserve their friendship but he didn’t want to push beyond that, not any more. If he had to live like this, with just some hidden trysts with his brother every now and then, then be it.
Maedhros woke from the light pouring through the window hitting his eyes, Maglor still laid by his side, snoring softly and he did look so innocent and sweet like that, perfect. Maedhros reached down and planted a soft kiss on Maglor’s forehead before he discovered that they were covered by a blanket. He surely hadn’t tucked them inn, and neither had Maglor. There had been no blankets on the bed when they fell asleep, he felt his heart drop. Someone had returned home, someone knew for there was no way to hide what they had been doing, it couldn’t be mistaken for anything else than what it was, shameless and uninhibited debauchery, a vile sin in the eyes of the valar.
He swallowed hard, oh Eru, let it be one of their brothers, preferably one the ones come of age. Their mother would never accept this, most likely she would fade from the shock. Maedhros shook Maglor gently, they had to get up and find out, there was no way around it, no way to hide anymore. Maglor yawned and stretched, wiped his eyes and Maedhros had to choke a whimper, what if they were forced to stay apart? He would fade without his brother, his heart. Maglor frowned, realized that something was off. “Nelyo? You look as if you have seen a ghost?”
Maedhros bit his lower lip. “Someone returned home when we slept Maglor, someone tucked us inn. Someone knows”
Maglor’s eyes got huge for a few seconds, he got paler and he let out a small squeak. “Oh Eru, crap, oh fuck, we are so screwed”
Maedhros embraced him tightly. “ Whatever happens, I will not let anyone hurt you, you are everything for me. You can tell that I forced you into it, that I am the twisted one”
Maglor almost sneered. “Let you take the blame for something we both have been a part of, willingly and wholeheartedly? Never, I stand by you Nelyo, if we go down we do so together”
Maedhros felt his legs shiver ever so slightly. “Alright then, let’s get some clothes on, and face whoever it is.”
They both knew that this one person held their destiny in his or her’s fist now. They ought to be ashamed but wasn’t, the thing they shared could be wrong in the eyes of others but it was never wrong within the song of their hearts, it never could be. They got dressed slowly, not daring to look at each other until it got too much for Maglor who grasped Maedhros desperately and kissed him like a drowning man gasps for air. “I will not let anyone separate us Maedhros, never! I will fight Namo himself to stay with you”
Maedhros felt that his throat felt strange, thick and tight and tears were burning his eyes. “ I love you, always have, always will”
Maglor just whispered. “Likewise brother, likewise”
They opened the door, walked silently out into the hall and the house was eerily silent, there didn’t appear to be anyone present until they reached the main hall, both stopped, stared at their father who sat by a small table, sipping at a glass of wine with a distant look in his eyes. He turned his head when he heard them, sighing and gesturing towards two chairs which stood in front of him. Maedhros swallowed hard. “Atya I…”
Fëanor raised a hand. “No Nelyo, listen to me first.”
Maedhros had never seen his father look this grave before, there was a deep sorrow in the silvery grey eyes and a sort of melancholy in his posture. Both neri sat down, feeling as if they were sitting on needles. “I have suspected this for many years, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to truly believe it. Yes I did know about you Nelyo and Fingon but I chose to ignore it because I suspected that it would end soon enough. Fingon was never destined to be yours Nelyo, he isn’t worthy of becoming more than a friend, a comrade.”
Maedhros didn’t know what to say, his mind was swirling like a tornado, he couldn’t think at all. “I wanted to let the two of you sleep in, to calm myself first and foremost. Do you have any idea of what it will do to our family if this gets out, if someone outside of the family learn of this relationship of yours? It will most certainly be the end of the reign of my father, and we may face the full wrath of the valar, become exiled or worse!”
Maedhros tried to speak but it became a whimper and Maglor was crying now, large tears flowing down his cheeks. Fêanor got up, his jaw tense and his eyes shooting lightening. “It will ruin us, that is the truth. We will all be regarded as marred, as something which shouldn’t even be regarded as eldar. The valar will intervene for sure, I cannot imagine their reaction”
Maglor sobbed. “I am so sorry atya, so sorry. I can leave and never return, we both can”
Fêanor sighed and sat down again, his gaze a bit softer. “No, you are both my sons, and I love you, by Eru I love you more than my own life. I cannot say that I approve of this, but I do understand and I have to accept it. I know it is vital for your happiness. All I ask of you two is that you manage to be discreet, to hide it from the public”
Maedhros swallowed hard, he managed to let out a squeak again. “You won’t do anything, why?”
Feanor rubbed his temples, looking tired. “You have been at it for decades now haven’t you? I know I cannot stop you, and I know you love each other, so yes, I do give you my blessings sort of. I want you to be happy damn it, if I did sent one of you away the other would pine and if both were sent off there would be questions for sure.”
Maedhros had held his breath. “Atya, I…I don’t know what to say”
Feanor just waved a hand. “Then don’t say anything dear, just swear that you won’t let anyone see you in such a compromising situation again.”
Maglor swallowed hard. “We won’t, I promise we won’t. “
Their father sent them a sad smile. “I will hold you to it then, I will do my best to cover your backs but that does require that you try to keep your cocks within your pants whenever you are around others. But I recently acquired a new hunting lodge, a gift from some noble spit licker. What if we say that this lodge from now on becomes your little secret hide away? Nobody knows of it, and it is very far away.”
Maedhros looked at his father as if he suddenly had grown two heads instead of one, slack jawed. Maglor was almost panting. “Are…are you serious?”
Fëanor nodded slowly. “Yes, the alternative is losing you and my heart cannot bare the mere thought. Yes, what you are doing may be wrong in the eyes of the valar but I have never held them in any regard, as a matter of fact they can pretty much fuck off the way I see it.”
Maedhros managed to speak again, his heart felt as if he had been fighting hard, for hours. “I…I know, you have never loved them”
Fëanor sent them a sardonic grin. “They are naught but hollow idols, impotent and so full of themselves it is a miracle they haven’t been taken by the wind like some runaway balloon long ago.”
He leaned forth. “So here is the deal, the lodge is yours, I will not mention it to anyone else and you may use it whenever you want to, just try to camouflage your passions when you are here or in Tirion, understood?”
Maglor nodded, his eyes huge, the tears had stopped. “Yes atya, we promise, oh by Eru we promise!!”
Their father sighed and got up, he walked over and put a hand on their heads, caressed red and black locks with a tenderness none of them had expected. “ To pine for something you desperately need and yet cannot have may turn anyone into a wreck, it can drive you mad. It is better this way, but I do wish you had been thinking a bit more about it, before you…became lovers”
Maedhros did hang his head in shame. “Yes Atya, I am sorry”
Fëanor tilted his head. “Well, at least you both have found the very best, all else are below you. Get a bath now, you do reek. And change the bedding before your mother returns, she has the eyes of a hawk and the nose of a bloodhound”
Both neri hung their head, and Fëanor chuckled. “Oh do not look so desolate my dears, you are a very beautiful couple, how could you resist each other when you both are of my blood? I just pray that none of my other sons have the same….taste!”
Maedhros had to blush, he knew that Celegorm did desire females, fiercely! And Caranthir and Curufin had been caught in rather compromising situations with some fair maiden more than once, rumors said that Curufin already was considering marriage, Maedhros didn’t know if that was true though. Maglor grasped Fëanors hand, kissed it and Maedhros too grasped a hand and held it to his cheek, shivering with gratitude and relief. “ Thank you atya, from the bottom of my heart”
Fëanor pulled them to their feet, there was pride in his eyes. “ Go now my gems, before the servants return, I will burn the bench, those wine stains cannot camouflage that you have used it for …fun. “
Maglor embraced his father fast, then he threw himself around Maedhros neck, and the tall redhead felt him shiver. He hadn’t lost his best friend and lover, and he never would, the thought was enough to make him start to weep with joy. They just stood there until Fëanor discreetly coughed. “The water is ready, I will make sure the servants get busy in the other parts of the house.”
Maglor whispered to Maedhros as they almost ran to the bath. “Our own lodge, our own little secret”
Maedhros squeezed his brother’s hand. “Yes, our own secret, I cannot wait to get there”
Maglor sent him a wicked grin. “Neither can I brother, neither can I”