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Broken and Healing

By Krisann Holthaus

Leaving for now...

I was almost finished up packing. I was running away, and I was never coming back. That was my hope. I didn't want to come back to this city. Forks held too many memories for me, and I didn't want to be stuck in this town revolving around them. I couldn't go to my mother's either. She wouldn't know what to do with the situation that currently occupied my life. Edward had left, but he left me with something that I wasn't going to regret. He left me his unborn child.

Flashback

We were driving back from the party that ended in a disaster. It was all because of me and my stupid clumsiness. I couldn't believe that I got a paper cut. Edward of course blamed himself. He always did, no matter what was the cause.

"I'm sorry," I apologized for the thousandth time tonight.

"It wasn't your fault, Bella," he hissed at me. We were up in my room, and Charlie was either downstairs in the living room or in his bedroom; I couldn't tell. "It was mine. If the situation would have been different, it wouldn't have ended like it did." I kissed him to shut him up. We just didn't stop like we usually did.

"Can I talk to you at your house," he questioned. It was a few days after we had sex, and I had to say that it was amazing. Edward still blamed himself for what happened on my birthday. I haven't seen any of the Cullen's except for Edward. It scared me a bit, but I tried not to worry.

Once we got to my house, he led me out back towards the woods.

"Bella, my family is leaving," he confessed.

"I'll come with you guys," I instantly replied. I didn't want him to leave, and I wanted him to stay with me. I would leave everything behind for him. I loved him and his family.  They were so important to me now; I couldn’t imagine not spending another day without seeing any of them.

"You can't, Bella; I'm sick of pretending," he answered me. I was shocked, but I could not deny the truth. "I don't love you anymore, Bella. I care about you, but I don't love you." I just simply nodded. "Can you promise me something?"

"Anything," I whispered. I still couldn't believe what was happening.  It was like my worst dreams becoming true.  I didn’t realize that it was such a one-sided relationship like I see that it was now.  I guess he was just such a good actor that I was caught up in the moment.  I am still in a state in disbelief, though my inner voice keeps repeating ‘I told you so’.

"Don't do anything reckless," he stated. I just nodded through the tears that were fighting to escape. "Then I'll make you a promise. It will be as if I never existed." He ran out of my life, to not ever return to me again.

End of Flashback

I was about to break my promise; I had decided to go to Alaska. I wanted to try and find the Denali family; they were the only vegetarian vampires that I knew of besides the…Cullen's. It is so hard for me to think all the…Cullen’s names sometimes, but I still think about them constantly when I am not trying to avoid the thoughts of them. I didn't want to forget them, but it still caused me so much pain. It would mean everything for me though not to forget them. I cared and loved each and every one of them. I would understand if they didn't share the same feelings just like ‘he’ didn’t.

I had already said my goodbyes to my father and mother. I left them letters. I didn't want them to try and find me. I knew that I would probably never come back to them.  It would be so hard to explain to them about the fact that the child within side of my womb was going to grow faster than the normal rate of other children.  Right now, even though a week has past after we had sex, it looks like I’m already 3 months pregnant. If I do not go now, it will be harder for me not to hide the fact that I am pregnant, and I would have to lie about the amount of time, or else I may just become a science experiment.  Humans like my parents would not understand the situation like the Denali’s could, but it would still be a shock for the vampires as well, I believe.  The…Cullens had never mentioned anything like this before, which leads me to believe that it is an unfounded occurrence.  That is why it is best for me to find the Denali’s, just in case, at least, I may be able to find information about my pregnancy that they had hidden from me.

I took everything into my truck that I loved. I took the tickets that…Esme and Carlisle gave me, and I drove to the airport. I was hoping that they would switch tickets with them. I wasn't going to use them for their original purpose, but I do not have the money to get myself to Alaska.  This is my one way ticket that I can use to go where I need to go.

Once I reached the airport in Seattle, I was lucky that they were able to switch the tickets. I was a little sad to see them go, but I knew that it was for better ones. I was also sad that I had to leave everything, even my truck behind, but I knew it was for the better.  I was going to start a new life with my child, and I wouldn't regret anything.

After a couple of hours, I was finally in Alaska. It was definitely cold, but I came prepared. I didn't want to catch a cold because of my stupid-ness.

There luckily was a town nearby Juneau which I thought that they might be living.  Once I got to that town, I saw a girl that was deadly pale and with golden eyes. She had brown hair and she was extremely gorgeous.  I could tell that she was a vegetarian vampire, just like they had been.  I was hoping she was the one I was looking for, or else I would be in trouble.

I made the taxi stop and I gave him some money for the ride. It would have been rude of me not to do so. After I got out, I followed her. I knew that it was stalking, but I needed to know if she was a vampire or not. I would be so embarrassed if she wasn't, and I could possibly be in more trouble than I could handle.

She walked for a long while. It was so difficult to follow her sometimes, but I always managed to keep an eye on her. She walked into an alleyway, but I didn't know why. I kept following her. Once I was in there, she turned around, and I could see static electricity coming from her hands. And I was standing in the only entry way to the alley.


Author's Note: This is the story I did on Fanfiction that got me recognized by this website, so I am editing it since I did this a few years ago, and I wanted to improve it before I got it on here.  I am known as brokenfromthepast on Fanfiction, and I hope you like my writing.

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