I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 16

The next morning was the first day of the new term. I had to wake up early even though I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before because of that horrid dream. As I pulled my knee-high socks on, I thought about it. Not the part about the noise. But the part about me and Sirius.

Of course I remembered that conversation I had eavesdropped on last year.

I like her A LOT… She's hot.

I sighed. I had now dreamt of kissing two of my best friends. Well, I almost kissed Sirius. I had a full on make out with Remus. Were these dreams the future? I couldn't know for sure… All I knew was that I had almost kissed Sirius Black last night.

The next few weeks passed without anything exciting happening. Classes and homework. But in October, it was my birthday. I was finally 12.

That morning, I woke up to Lily squealing:

"Happy Birthday Tonks!" and her shoving a present into my face. My parents had sent me a nice present as well. I opened a few cards and presents but soon realized I needed to be getting ready.

That day, my hair was blonde around my mid-back. I liked this hairstyle on me quite a bit. Once I was ready, I walked downstairs to find the boys waiting for me.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONKSIE!" I heard Sirius exclaim as I walked into the common room.

"Wow… Thanks!" I said, as a huge present was shoved into my hands. It was from:

Your boys.

(But mostly Sirius because he's awesome.)

No not from "mostly Sirius"

(Mostly Sirius XD )

"Thanks 'mostly Sirius'," I said, chuckling. I opened the present and found a really beautiful picture frame with a picture of me and the boys by the lake last year.

"Wow… it's so nice! Thanks so much!" I said, hugging James, Sirius, and Peter. I looked around. "Where's Remus?"

"He went to the Hospital Wing last night, remember?" James said, sitting on the back of one of the couches.

"Oh yeah… right," I said, feeling a little disappointed.

"He'll probably show up later. He wouldn't want to miss your birthday," James said, smirking.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The boy is in love with you," Sirius said bluntly.

"What?" I said, taken aback.

"Sirius, you weren't supposed to say anything!" James said, jumping off the back of the couch.

"Oh common, James. How can she not already know?" Sirius said.

"I didn't… uh. Know that," I said, looking at my feet.

"You see?" James said, throwing his hands in Sirius's face for emphasis.

"Tonks! How can you not know that Remus has a huge crush on you?" Sirius said, turning to me.

"I don't know… I just… didn't pick up on it I guess…?" I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Well…Now you know… Do you like him? Do ya? Do ya?" Sirius said, sideling up to my and hitting my arm with his elbow.

"I don't know!" I said, stepping away from him.

"I'm just surprised you didn't notice!" James said, chuckling.

"Is is that obvious?" I asked.

"Pretty much…" Sirius said. "Even Peter noticed. And you know how naïve he is."

I thought about it for a moment. I guess Remus was a little extra friendly with me. And I guess I had known from that conversation on the train last year. I had just kinda pushed the thought of Remus having a crush on me out of my mind. I was just his friend.

Or was I? Did I like him too?

I looked back at James and Sirius who were still laughing at me being so stupid. I just shrugged and said:

"Well… I guess I'll just keep that in mind," I simply said, and started walking back to my dorm to put the picture away.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked.

"Crazy, want to come?" I said, as I began climbing the stairs. After the picture was safely put away in my dorm, we went down to breakfast. I was sitting across from James and Sirius, eating a pancake when Remus sat down. I turned to look at him and I choked on my pancake.

His whole left side was bandaged up from his neck up to above his ear. There was also the usual band-aids on his face and hands. He was as white as the milk set on the table in front of him and had huge bags under his eyes. After the initial shock of seeing him so beat up, I felt my self choke up. Tears welled in my eyes and I had to turn away to calm myself down.

"Remus… what happened?" I heard Sirius ask. I reemerged from under the table and looked back at the mummy that was Remus.

"Um.. Accident," he said, shoveling food onto his plate and starting to eat.

"What kind of accident?" James asked, gazing at Remus.

"Um… Tripped down the stairs, yanno…" he said, shoving more egg into his mouth.

"Are you okay?" I finally managed.

"No.. not really. But I'll be fine," he said.

The rest of the day, I had to look at Remus. I almost burst into tears every time I saw him. And the worst part was, Marcus continued to bully him. I was especially defensive today. But still, my threats were empty to him. At the end of the day in the common room, Remus fell asleep on the couch.

"I feel so bad for him…." I muttered, gazing at his lifeless figure.

"Yeah… it must suck," James said, glancing up from his essay to look at Remus. I was curled up in an armchair, my knees to my face. I had finished my homework hours ago, but I didn't want to leave the boys.

"I'm done. I give up," James said, throwing down his quill. "I'm going to bed."

"I guess I'll go too," Sirius said, packing up his stuff. Peter followed their example.

"What should we do with him?" James said, indicating Remus.

"Just let him sleep," Sirius said, shouldering his bag. "You coming Tonks?"

"Yeah… I'll be up. I need to… uh. Check over something first," I said, rummaging through my bag.

"Alright, well goodnight and Happy Birthday again," Sirius said and started toward the stairs. James and Peter said similar things then went off to bed, too.

The common room was deserted except for me and Remus. I waited until I heard the doors close to the boys' dorm before I stopped rummaging in my bag. I stood up and went over and sat down on Remus's couch. I watched him for a few minutes before I picked up his head and laid it in my lap. I stroked his hair and face, trying to make him feel better, even if he was unconscious. I finally cried then. I had no idea what was wrong with him, but I knew it was something terrible.

I think I stayed down there all night, just watching over him. It was okay though… I didn't mind. He slept soundly, his breathing deep and slow. I caressed his face and arms, made sure he was warm. I couldn't explain why I was so protective over him. Then, at around two in the morning, it hit me.

I had fallen for Remus Lupin.

Awwwwwwe ^.^



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