I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 17

Just wanted to take a moment to say THANKS SO MUCH to all of you who have reviewed and favorited my story! I couldn't be more excited that it's a success!(:

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*Remus's POV*

The last thing I remembered before crashing on the couch in the common room was watching her pouring over her essay. Her blonde curly hair was tied back in a loose pony-tail and her face was screwed up in concentration. I had to admit, she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

I was struggling to keep my eyes open as total exhaustion washed over me. This had been a hard full moon. When had woken up this morning, the whole left side of my face was bleeding like crazy. I had no idea what the hell I had done. I shouldn't even have left the Hospital Wing, but I had to see her on her birthday.

She sat up and glanced over at me, her dark brown eyes examining me. I don't think she knew that I had noticed those beautiful eyes well up with tears this morning. I couldn't think of why she had been crying though. Was it because of me? I hoped not. I never wanted to see her cry ever again. She didn't deserve to be unhappy. I sighed and remembered the first time I had ever seen her.

I was sitting across from James and Sirius, who had found me sitting alone in my compartment and asked if they could come in. It was a little awkward, for sure. I was staring out the window at the platform below when I heard:

"Hey! Watch where your going!"

I looked over and saw a girl with hair as red as a fire engine topple over into our compartment. There was a huge blonde 6th or 7th year standing outside, who seemed to be the one who had knocked her over.

"Watch where you're going shrimp! I think I- woah. What happened to your hair?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Never mind you!" she shouted, slamming the compartment door and pulling the shade down. She took a few slow deep breaths before turning around. Her hair was no longer fire engine red. She surveyed the compartment and blushed.

But I knew I was blushing harder. She was perfect. I assumed she was a metamorphagus due to the fact that her hair was changing color. But other than that, she was stunning. Her dark eyes mesmerized me completely. I knew I was staring.

"Remus. Stop. Staring. Stop it! STOP IT! Oh no. Did she notice me staring?" I thought to myself.

She was a spitfire, she was. Didn't take crap from anyone. I liked that. She was having a conversation with James and Sirius and before I knew it, she had her hand outstretched and was asking me to take it. My heart skipped a beat. I didn't even know her name.

"Remus Lupin," I said, shyly looking up at her, hoping she had asked for my name. I reached up and shook her hand. I saw those gorgeous eyes move away from my eyes and onto my face. And something had changed.

I felt ashamed. I knew she had noticed my scars. I wanted to run out of that compartment and never return. She looked now to my hands. They were as bad as my face. I felt myself blush even harder. I wanted to cry, to scream, to hide. I didn't want her to see them.

She then took a seat right next to me. I shifted and looked back out the window, hoping my blushing would stop. But I knew as long as she was next to me, I wouldn't stop blushing.

But now, here I was, over a year later, staring at the same girl. Of course James and Sirius knew I liked her. They were nosey people, how could they not know? The thing was, I didn't know how she felt about me.

The pain and exhaustion were calling me to close my eyes and sleep. But for some reason, reality was better than dreams at the moment, when it's usually the other way around. Dreams were my one escape to a place where there wasn't lycanthropy and pain and family issues. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. I couldn't stay awake much longer.

My eyes started to close ever so slowly. No! I willed myself. Stay awake! I have to see her! But exhaustion finally won and I closed my eyes.

While I was sleeping, all I could see was her face, swimming in the darkness. That was usually all I saw, so this wasn't out of the ordinary. But suddenly, I felt something like relaxation overcome me. I didn't know what was causing it, but I felt a million times better. Something in my brain told me that my physical body was being caressed by someone. Who? Surely not her.

All the pain and hurt left me. I was in total bliss. Someone was running their fingers through my hair, and rubbing my arms and scarred face. I don't exactly know how long this went on, but long enough for it to be time for me to wake up.

The sun was shining through the windows of the common room, making the whole place have the golden glow of early morning. I sat up and stretched my arms above my head and yawned. I rubbed my eyes, then looked around. I couldn't believe what I saw.

She was sitting on my couch, her head rested against the back of it, legs in Indian style. My head had been lying in her lap. She looked extremely uncomfortable, sitting there in that awkward position. I reached over and pulled her legs out from under her and threw my blanket over her. I stood up and sat down on the couch next to her. I stared at her for awhile, thinking. Why had my head ended up in her lap? Was she the one who had been caressing me in my sleep? It surely couldn't have been Sirius, or James for that matter. That would just be creepy. It had to have been her. But why?

All too soon, she stirred. The sun made her blonde hair shine beautifully in the morning light. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, then looked around. Those dark brown orbs landed on me.

"Remus?" she asked groggily.

"Me," I said, simply. Wait. God, I'm such a dumbass. Me? Really? God I felt stupid.

"Wha-" ,she was interrupted by a yawn, "What am I doing down here?" she finished.

"I was going to ask you the same question," I said, smiling at how pretty she looked. "What are you doing down here?"

"I have no idea…" she trailed off. "Wait…" Then her eyes widened, full of realization. I guess she had remembered why she was down here. She didn't speak, so I decided to break the ice.

"Were you the one who was massaging me last night?" I asked. She didn't answer for a minute.

"Yes," she said, not looking at me.

"Why?"

"I dunno… You looked so…pained. You looked like you had been hit by the Hogwarts Express and I… I… wanted you to feel better," she explained.

"Thank you…" I said, looking away because I knew I was blushing. "Thank you very much."

"It was nothing…" she said, and I saw her look up at me in my peripheral vision. I blushed even more.

"You know… I don't think I said Happy Birthday to you yesterday," I said, finally looking at her.

"Thanks…" she said, dreamily as we locked eyes. She stared at me and I got to stare back at her. Those gorgeous brown eyes bore into my amber ones. She was smiling. I knew I was beaming. I got to take in every detail of her, from her ruffled blonde hair to her mismatching socks, one pink zebra striped, one solid purple. Then, all of a sudden, the slamming of a door from one of the dorms made us break our gazes. It had just lasted a moment, but a moment was all it took for me to realize…

I had fallen in love with Nymphadora Tonks.

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I'm particularly proud of this one! What do you think? Should I do a Remus POV every once in awhile? Gimme some feedback! XD

Yeah…. I know. Last line = kinda cheesy. ^.^

Without you guys, this probably wouldn't be happening, so thanks SOO much for supporting me! I am forever grateful!

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to PM me! I will answer ANYTHING! I just would love more author/reader interaction! Goodnight! (:

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XOXO

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