I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 27

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa

*Tonks's POV*

As soon as those words left Sirius's mouth, I felt like my whole body had frozen over. Everything stopped. My heart stopped beating. I stopped breathing. I stopped thinking. Then all of a sudden, I was jolted back into reality. I realized that my jaw was hanging wide open, so I quickly closed it. I felt the cold awkwardness that hung in the air around the common room; A usually cheerful place that now was filled with the cold truth. I felt my breathing start to become irregular.

Wait. It's James and Sirius we're dealing with here. There's no possible way Remus was a werewolf. They had to be lying.

"Are… are you joking?" I choked out, feeling a little lightheaded. "Because if you are, this is not funny."

"No," James said, glaring down at Sirius. "We just wished Remus could've been the one to tell you, when he was ready. Not when bigmouth here blurted it out."

I suddenly glanced around the common room to see if there were any other students still lingering around. Thankfully, we were alone.

"You have to be joking," I said blatantly, turning back to the boys.

"I wish we were," Sirius said. He then turned to James and rolled his eyes. "James, calm down. She was going to find out anyways!"

"Yeah, but from Remus himself!" James argued back. "Not by your big mouth shouting it out for the whole world to hear!"

"James, she was just being such a blonde-"

"Hey!" I exclaimed.

"You were, Tonks!" Sirius finished, turning to me. "It's not that hard when you think about it! Today is the full moon. What time does the moon usually rise this time of year? 'Bout 7, maybe 7:30. Remus just happened to have leave right about when the full moon rises. Put the pieces together!"

I thought about it for a second. Their evidence seemed pretty convincing, but I still didn't want to believe that he was a werewolf.

"So," I said. "Maybe… maybe he…" I trailed off.

"Exactly!" Sirius exclaimed. "There's no other excuse for this!"

"So what?" I asked, still trying to prove them wrong.

"Okay, more pieces to the puzzle!" James said. "He is always sick before and after the full moon. Weak, achy, fatigued. Haven't you ever learned about werewolves before? Those are the common symptoms of lycanthropy!"

"And if you need more evidence," Sirius started. "Have you ever looked at his face and arms? Even his chest?"

"Umm... Well I can't say I've seen his chest lately…" I said, chuckling a little. "But are you referring to his scars?"

"Yes, Tonks, yes!" James exclaimed. "They look like an animal got to him, right?"

"I mean… yeah kinda," I said, my brain still working furiously. "But he said he got in an accident, didn't he?"

"Then why does he keep getting new ones every month?" James asked, posing an interesting question. Why?

"I dunno…" I said, finally accepting defeat.

"Exactly," Sirius said.

"He really is a… yanno… isn't he?" I asked, feeling the coldness creeping up inside me again.

"I'm… afraid so," James stated.

"But I must say, you took it much better than we did," Sirius said, chuckling. Then all of a sudden, blackness obscured my vision and I passed out.


"Hey Tonksie," I heard Sirius croon through the darkness. "You in there?"

"Sirius, leave her alone," James instructed.

"Sirius?" I asked, opening my eyes very slowly.

"James!" Sirius exclaimed. "She's awake!"

"Oh God…" I moaned. "What happened?"

"You, uh, kinda passed out," James said, laughing.

"Why the hell did I pass out?" I asked, placing a hand on my head.

"We told you Remus's secret," Sirius said.

"Wha-?" I asked, confused.

"We told you Remus was a werewolf," James explained.

"Oh God!" I said, sitting up very fast and experiencing a head-rush.

"Woah," Sirius said, pushing me back down onto a pillow. "Slow down, chickadee."

"Where am I?" I asked weakly.

"In my bed," Sirius stated simply.

"What?" I asked, quickly opening my eyes.

"When you passed out, we hauled you up to our dorm and put you in my bed," Sirius explained. Sure enough, I was laying in Sirius's four poster, surrounded by what looked like a disaster zone. I had imagined the boy's dorm many times before, but never imagined it to be this bad. Dirty clothes, candy wrappers, and old food littered the whole room, covering three out of the four beds. The only bed that was clean was the one closest to the door.

"Who's bed is that?" I asked, pointing this tidy bed out.

"Remus's, believe it or not," James said from his perch on his bed, which was next to the one I was laying in. I sat up again, this time much slower.

"Holy shit…" I muttered, the realization of the situation washing over me again.

"Yeah I know…" James said, chuckling. "Right little tidy git he is."

"No not that…" I said. "He's a… a…"

"Werewolf," Sirius finished.

"Yeah…" I said. "Oh my God…"

"I know it's a bit shocking," James said.

"Well of course it is!" I exclaimed. "One of my best friends is a werewolf!"

"Kinda cool though…" Sirius muttered.

"No!" I said, biffing the right side of his head. "This is not cool!"

"Hey, woah there Tonksie," he said, rubbing the spot I had struck. "Calm down!"

"It's just so… so…" I said, struggling to find the words. I felt my eyes well up with tears. "Shocking."

"We know…" James said, coming over and patting my back. "But we're in this together."

"Yeah…" I said, wiping a tear away. "Yeah you're right… I need to calm down…"

And so, that night, I did not get any sleep. After recovering enough in the boy's room, I snuck back into my dorm to sleep. Curling up beneath the warm sheets and blankets was just what I needed. But my mind didn't stop working. All I could think about was how this affected me. How sorry I was for him, because truly, he was a fantastic guy. A fantastic guy with a major problem. Within an hour, my pillow was soaked with silent tears.

The next morning, I got up as soon as the sun peaked through the windows. It was a beautiful day, a slight breeze shaking the branches of the trees in the Forbidden Forest and the sun making the Black Lake sparkle beautifully. But inside, the atmosphere around me was gloomy. I couldn't help but wonder where he was, and figured finding him in the common room was worth a shot. I silently creeped out of my dorm and down the spiral stairs.

There he was, sprawled out on a couch with an array of new bandages plastered on his white face. The dying embers of last night's fire were slowly burning away in the fireplace. He stared deep into the embers, the morning sun making his light brown hair glow golden. It was truly a beautiful sight.

"Remus," I said, breaking the silence that the morning had cast over us.

"Tonks!" he exclaimed, startled. "Wha… what are you doing up so early?"

"Well…" I said, not knowing exactly how tactful I was going to be when I told him. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"Why?" he asked. I thought about it for a second then slowly walked over to the couch he was lounging on.

"Well… James and Sirius were talking to me last night…" I said, sitting down, refusing to meet his eyes.

"About what?" he asked, sounding a bit curious.

"About… you," I said, and I felt as if a knife made of ice stabbed my heart. There was silence for a few seconds.

"What did you talk about?" he asked, obviously uncomfortable.

"They told me you were a werewolf," I said, not wanting to draw this out any longer. I finally met his eyes. He looked as if someone had stabbed him directly in the heart.


BAM. There ya have it! (;

This one was pretty good, I must say! XD



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