I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 31

If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say I love you. - Unknown Author


*Remus's POV*

The next morning, I awoke way before the other boys. My mind was working too fast for me to sleep any longer. Every time I closed my eyes, images and feelings of the night before returned, making goose bumps rise on my arms. One particular time, I was reliving the sensation of being that close to her, my lips slowly caressing hers. This sensation actually made me feel so elated that I had to sit up. My breath came out short and fast, almost panting. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. Would I ever feel that again?

For some odd reason, when I thought about this, I didn't feel anything but safety and acceptance. I could think of a dozen other things that a teenage boy should feel when he kisses a pretty girl. No, she's not pretty. She's stunning. She's beautiful. She's perfect. I imagine her beautiful eyes as they dance the way they do when she laughs. I can't help but grin so much it hurts.

I take a deep, shaking breath and throw myself down on my pillow. All of a sudden, the alarm blares over on Sirius's nightstand. I give a deep sigh again and put my hand over my eyes as I realize I have to finish packing. I groan and sit up, wondering why Sirius hasn't turned off the alarm yet.

"Hey," I say weakly, not exactly woken up yet. "Hey you. Sirius… Sirius! Wake up you lazy arse!" He still doesn't stir. I look over at James and Peter who are still dead to the world. I sigh and remember why I'm the responsible one. I slowly slide my legs off the bed, stand up, shuffle over the alarm and punch the off button. I then lean down right next to Sirius's ear and shout:


The effect is immediate. Sirius jumps out of his bed and lands on the other side with a THUMP. James sits up and screams like a girl. Peter wakes up and climbs a post on his bed like a monkey, whimpering.

"Who's there? Who's there? Who is in here?" Peter shrieks from his perch near the ceiling.

"It's me you idiots!" I scream over the madness that's occurring over my attempt to wake them.

"Remus!" James yells as Peter stops his shrieking. "You git! You git!"

Sirius suddenly pops out from behind his bed, rubbing his head.

"Bloody hell mate," he says, climbing on top of his bed, glaring at me.

"You wouldn't get up!" I argue.

"Yeah but you didn't need to shock us to death!" James exclaims.

"Look, you made Peter climb a tree!" Sirius points out as Peter struggles to hold on to the thin piece of wood at the top of the bed posts. All of a sudden, he loses his grip and thuds to the floor. I cant help but laugh and soon the room is filled with our laughter. Suddenly, all feelings of anger from the other boys vanish and we're just best friends having a good time.


*Tonks's POV*

For some odd reason, I was ready extra early this morning. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I couldn't sleep. My heart wouldn't stop fluttering.

So, there I was, sitting alone in the Gryffindor common room, laden with bags upon bags, wondering whether or not I had packed too much. I half-heartedly kicked at one piece of luggage, watching all the other students milling about, saying goodbye to friends, and gathering luggage of their own. I had been sitting there for at least half an hour and was almost ready to go up and get myself. Then, all of a sudden, the boys stumble down the stairs and into the common room.

"All ready, Tonksie?" Sirius asks as he strides over to meet me.

"Yeah," I answer, gathering up my stuff. "Been ready for half an hour."

"Sorry, we would've been ready sooner if it hadn't been for Peter here," James says, chuckling. I had no idea what he was talking about and I didn't know if I really wanted to either.

"Alright…" I say warily, picking up the last of my luggage.

"Holy bags, chickadee," Sirius says, looking wide-eyed at the plethora of bags surrounding me.

"Umm… yeah," I say, feeling my face redden up.

"Why not use your trunk?" James asks, grabbing a bag from my arm to give me some help.

"Uhm… well originally, I thought it would be too much for just two weeks worth of stuff," I explain. "Then I realized it would've been much easier to have used that instead of this madness. But I was just too lazy to repack it all."

"God Tonks," James says, shouldering another one of my bags. "What in the world do you have in here?"

"I dunno…" I say as we head off toward the portrait hole. "Girl stuff." As we make our way out, James, Sirius, and Peter walk ahead and leave me and Remus in the back. I glance over at him and we awkwardly lock eyes. The night before comes flooding back and I have a sudden urge to leap up and snog him.

"Coming, Tonks?" James asks. I realize that Remus and I are standing gaping at each other, blocking the portrait hole.

"Oh! Yeah… Sorry," I mumble, stepping through to meet the other boys, Remus at my heels. As we walk away, I hear Sirius whisper: "I knew they were snogging."

The train ride is boring and uneventful. Even after we get snacks from the food trolley and play a few games of Extreme Exploding Snap (which is regular Exploding Snap, just extreme) we're all still bored. Remus sits near the window reading, Sirius sprawls out on a seat reading a magazine, James doodles a picture in his Transfiguration textbook, and Peter is curled up on the floor taking a nap. I lay on my belly on the seat Remus occupies opposite Sirius, reading the adventure novel that had Mordecai's name in it for the umpteenth time. I casually turn a page and sigh when I hear a loud snoring sound and a thud fill the compartment.

We all whip our heads around and Remus, who's book had dropped to the ground, is pressed up against the window, obviously sleeping and snoring more loudly than I had ever heard anyone snore in my life. James and Sirius snicker.

"Does he usually snore like this?" I whisper.

"No not at all," James whispers back.

"Weird," I say, looking back over at a sleeping Remus.

"Well wasn't the full moon a few days ago?" James asks.

"Yes," I answer without thinking.

"That's what I thought… Maybe it's some weird side-effect," James says, leaning back on the seat he shares with Sirius to doodle again.

I sigh, lay back down on my stomach, and turn back to my book, trying to concentrate, but it's impossible. The whole compartment is silent except for Remus's loud snoring.

"Can someone shut him up?" Sirius blurts out suddenly.

"I was just wondering the same thing," I admit.

"I will!" James offers, standing up. He turns around and rummages through his bag, looking for something.

"What in the world are you looking for?" I ask, sitting up.

"Eh… I dunno," he says, still rummaging. "Something hard and heavy to hit him with."

"Don't!" I exclaim, throwing my book down and standing up. "You'll hurt him!"

"Ooh sorry, I don't want to hurt your boyfriend," James says sarcastically, giving up on his hunt to find a heavy object.

"He's not my boyfriend!" I exclaim for the hundredth time.

"Geez common Tonks," Sirius says, putting down his magazine. "You both admitted you were snogging!"

"Yeah that doesn't mean he's my boyfriend!" I argue.

"Okay," Sirius says, nonchalantly picking up his magazine again. "He's your love interest."

I stand there, arms crossed, glaring at Sirius.

"Well at least I don't like a total slag," I sassily say as I sit back down, crossing my legs.

"Who are you talking about?" he asks, looking up from his magazine.

"Scarlet," I state.

"Oh yeah she's a total slag," he says truthfully. So he's not offended and actually agrees with me. Well, when it come to Scarlet, who wouldn't?

"Then why do you like her?" I ask.

"For that reason," he says, flipping a page.

"Oh god Sirius Black," I say, chuckling.

"And Remus is a slag, you know," he says.

"Oh yeah, he's a total slag," I say sarcastically looking over at his limp figure up against the window. "All bloodthirsty werewolves are slags." I roll my eyes at Sirius's silliness.

"Why did you call me Sirius Black?" he asks vaguely.

"I dunno…" I say, taken aback by this odd question. "It sounded right."

"Hmmm… interesting," he says, still not looking at me.

"What's your middle name anyways?" I ask.

"Orion," he says. "You?"

"Ugh. I'm not stating that ugly name to the world," I say making a fake gagging sound.

"So you hate your first and middle name?" James asks.

"Yep pretty much," I say.

"Common, you can tell us," Sirius coaxes.

"Fine…" I say, and take a deep breath. "Vulpeca."

"Nymphadora Vulpeca Tonks?" James asks incredulously. "And you have a brother named Aaron Mark Tonks?"

"Yes I do," I say. "And Aaron Mark is so much simpler than Nymphadora Vulpeca."

"I have to agree…" Sirius says. "I like Tonksie the best."

"Thanks Sirius," I say with a small chuckle.

"Do you know Remus's middle name?" James asks suddenly. And without thought I blurt out:

"John." I should've pretended not to know. Then it wouldn't be so obvious that I like him. I turn scarlet. For some reason the boys don't seem to pick up on this.

"Didn't know that," James says. "Mine's Alexander."

"James Alexander Potter," I say. "That's a good name."

"I know right?" he says, smiling.

All of a sudden, Remus stirs in his sleep and the snoring stops.

"Thank. God," Sirius says.


This one is just kind of supposed to be funny and happy(: Hope you enjoyed it!



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