I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 32

Hey guys! Fun fact : Today I watched a documentary on Anne Frank and the narrator was Kenneth Branagh! As in Gilderoy Lockhart! It was awesome! I was the only person in the class to pick up on it! Anyways, enjoy!(:

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"When I saw you I was afraid to meet you. When I met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you."

- Anonymous

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*Tonks's POV*

When we pull into the train station, I notice that it isn't complete madness like it usually is when we come home for summer break. I would say half of the usual families are on the platform, mostly because some students stayed at Hogwarts for winter break. The other problem could be the missing people because of… of… Lord Voldemort. But how was I supposed to know? I'm a 13-year-old girl!

"Remus, wake up you lazy git," Sirius mumbles as we collect our belongings. I know he's just joking as all teenage boys do, but I cant help but shoot him a dirty look. Remus stirs then sits up, rubbing his eyes.

"You were snoring like an ape," James comments as he shoulders his bag.

"Was I?" Remus asks, collecting his book from the floor. "I don't usually snore, do I?"

"No, not usually," James says. "Maybe it's some weird side-effect from the… well… you know…"

"Ummm… I don't know," Remus says sarcastically, chuckling a little. As he bends over to put his book away, I notice a huge bandage covering the back of his neck.

"Remus!" I blurt out, setting down my own bag down and running over to examine him.

"What?" he asks, startled.

"This bandage!" I say, running my hand along its soft surface. "Where did it come from?"

"The Hospital Wing…" he explains, still a little confused as to why I'm asking this question.

"I know that, silly," I say as he turns around to face me. I completely forget that the other boys are there. "But, I mean, I didn't feel it when we were kissing the other night!"

All of a sudden, the compartment freezes and I suddenly remember we are not alone.

"'When we were kissing!'" James repeats. "I thought that was a few months ago!"

"Shit," I mutter.

"Tonks," Remus says quietly, and I know this is only meant for me. "I was wearing a hoodie, so you know, the hood covered my neck."

"Oh…" I say. "It was just funny because… you get it."

"Yeah… I do," he says, smiling the slightest bit.

"So I was right," Sirius says. I turn to face him. "So you were snogging!"

"Yeah yeah, Sirius," Remus says, waving his hand in Sirius's direction as if to swat him away. "We're all teenagers here. We don't need to throw a parade when two people kiss."

I stand there in astonishment. Did Remus really just do that? Did he just sass Sirius? Sirius stands there gaping, like me, staring at Remus.

"Wow Remus," James says, slow clapping. "That was impressive and well-spoken."

"I know!" Sirius exclaims. "You know, I'm not even going to get mad because I'm so proud of you Moony!"

"Thanks guys…" Remus says, obviously a little shocked by his actions. I reach over and grab his hand as the other boys turn away to gather their things once again. He looks over at me and smiles, squeezing my hand.

"Alright so after that little scene," Sirius says, turning back around as me and Remus quickly let go of our hands. "We're off."

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*Remus's POV*

Getting out of the car at James's house was like entering a different world. Now, I live back in the woods, far from any other people as well. (Well, I kind of have to don't I?) But my house is just one floor with three bedrooms. Pretty small… James's house is three floors, with multiple bedrooms, surrounded by a paved driveway and garage. He has three cars and a four-wheeler. Next to that is a barn full of horses. Everything is covered in glittery white snow. James and his brother Will, who is 16, live in the lap of luxury, something I'm not used to.

"Alright kids," Mrs. Potter says. "We're here."

"Finally," James says as he jumps out of the nice car and into the open air. "Aahh…"

"I missed your house, Jane," Sirius says, getting out as well. He must know Mrs. Potter enough to call her by her first name. Next, Tonks steps out and is obviously blown away like I was by the luxury of the place.

"Wow," she says, walking over to stand by me.

"I know," I mutter to her. Her eyes dart from place to place, trying to take it all in at once. But eyes have forgotten the nice things that surround me. They've found the most precious thing in the world. And it's standing right next to me wearing a black hoodie, ripped jeans, and black converse. I grin broadly.

"Are you two going to help or not?" James calls over from the trunk where he and Sirius are starting to unload all of Tonks's luggage.

"Honey don't," Jane instructs, walking over to James and Sirius. "Lowen should be here soon. She'll take those bags for you."

"Mom," James says through gritted teeth, turning away from us and talking in an undertone. "I got it."

"Who's Lowen?" Tonks asks besides me. Honestly I was wondering the same thing. And before James could shut her up, his mother says:

"Our maid, of course," like its no big deal. I look over at Tonks and see her eyes widen in astonishment.

"You have a maid?" Tonks asks, although immediately we both realize that was the wrong thing to say. James must be embarrassed by his richness for some reason. He blushes very brightly and mutters:

"Yeah we do…" and quickly adds, "But I don't think we need her."

All of a sudden, another car pulls up. This one is obviously not owned by the Potters because it is much shabbier than the one we drove here in. A young woman with long brown hair gets out. She obviously looks nothing like the kind who would want any trouble. A little shy, very kind, very sweet. That is all I can gather about her personality as she waddles towards us. And I say waddles because she looks to be about seven months pregnant. Her swollen belly is covered by an off-white apron and simple brown dress. She has a wand tucked in her apron at her side.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Potter," she says as she approaches us. "Maggie and David were fighting, and Christopher was wailing! There was nothing I could do! And John is away so he wasn't there so help me… I'm just so sorry I'm late. Is there anything I can do to assist you?"

"Of course there is," Mrs. Potter says. "Take this luggage upstairs and show the guests to the rooms we discussed last week." Mrs. Potter stalks away and into the house. As soon as she's gone, Lowen sighs and takes out her wand. Tonks leans over and whispers to me:

"Did you catch that she has three kids, too?" she asks.

"Yeah, I think so. Maggie, David, and Christopher," I whisper back. "And one on the way. Maybe they're pets or something."

"I don't think so," Tonks says, as we trudge through the snow towards the house. "She doesn't look old enough to have that many kids though."

"I agree…" I say. I glance over at her and notice that some snow had landed on her nose. I smile. She looks too cute.

Finally, we cross the thresh hold into what looks like something out of a magazine. The whole house is a actually a log cabin. Huge logs make up the walls. One is actually a floor to ceiling window that gives a great view of the forest. A roaring fire burns in a stone fireplace off to the right. To the left, there is a rustic-looking kitchen, although you can tell it is all modern appliances. Right in the middle, a wooden staircase splits the two rooms. The ceiling extends to the upper floor making the room look huge. The upper floor is open to the room below, kind of like a loft. Many doors lead off of this loft to what I assume are bedrooms. This place is amazing. I could never imagine myself living here, though.

"So…" James says, still a little nervous. "Whaddaya think?"

"It's brilliant!" Tonks exclaims. "I love it!"

"Really?" James asks, surprised. "You don't think it's… too much?"

"Well, I mean," Tonks starts as she walks over to the big window. "If you have the money, why not?"

"I guess…" James says as he walks over to join her. I look over and see Sirius has already made his way into the kitchen and was now eating a biscuit. "Sirius! Put that down you fat lard! Lowen made those for later!"

"But it's chocolate chip!" Sirius exclaims, pointing to the cookie. "My favorite! You know that James!"

"Oh my God Sirius, put that down!" I hear James exclaim. But I decide to drown out the rest of the silly conversation. I walk over and stand next to Tonks who is completely mesmerized by the forest. James and Sirius's row is heard in the background.

"So, what do you think?" I ask as I step up beside her.

"I wonder if this window opens," she says, obviously not listening to me.

"That's not what I asked," I say, chuckling.

"What?" she asks, finally tearing her gaze from out the window to me. "Sorry, I was… lost in my thoughts."

"I asked what you thought of this place," I say, leaning up against the window, crossing my arms.

"Oh," she says, dropping her eyes to the floor. "I think it's beautiful. But I could never see myself living in a place like this. I see myself living in a little flat in the city."

"Why?" I ask, intrigued.

"I dunno…." she says. "I guess it's just me."

All of a sudden, the door opens and Jane walks in calling for Lowen.

"Lowen!" she screeches. "Lowen! Ugh where is that girl?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Potter!" Lowen squeals as she rushes out of one of the rooms in the loft above. "I was just putting away the luggage, as you told me to!"

"Oh… well anyways, are you done?" Jane asks, walking toward the kitchen.

"Um... Now I am," Lowen says, descending the stairs, a hand placed on her belly.

"Good," Mrs. Potter says as she pulls out a glass of water. "I need to you call the cabinet maker. I need a new patio set for the spring."

"Of course Mrs. Potter," Lowen says.

"Alright," Jane says, her eyes sweeping her spotless house. "You can take the guests to their rooms."

"Yes Mrs. Potter," Lowen says. She turns to us. "I can take you to your rooms now. Your luggage is already there."

"Thanks," Tonks says.

"Your welcome," Lowen says, as she starts to ascend the stairs. We all follow her. It turns out, we all have our own room. James uses his own, Sirius uses Will's because Will is on holiday with his friend, and Tonks and I use guest bedrooms. It's very comfortable and cozy.

We spend the first few days goofing around outside, putting up Christmas decorations, and making more biscuits. Then, before we know it, it's Christmas Eve. We're all sitting around the fire and our newly decorated tree, all drinking hot chocolate. We had just been outside playing in the woods, so we're all frozen. All of sudden, Sirius looks up and says:

"Oh look, mistletoe."

And you wouldn't believe who it's over. Me and Tonks.

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Oh Christmas at the Potters!

Anyways, I need some feedback. I'm wondering if, when I get to this part, you guys want me to go into details about sex scenes or just imply them? I've been debating about this for a few weeks but I still have a few more years to go before I need to really worry. I guess im just wondering in advance. If you could PM me what you think, that would be great! Thanks!

PLEASE REVIEW!

XOXO

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