I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 35

"As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . . I will always keep falling in love with you." - Karen Clodfelder


*Tonks's POV*

Christmas break ended entirely too fast. Having to leave this beautiful house to go back to school was almost depressing. I think the thing I'm gonna miss the most about break is Lowen. She is such a dear and so kind and sweet. She made sure we were well accommodated and didn't say a thing when she found Remus and I asleep in the same room. She just walked right back out to give us privacy. I couldn't thank her enough.

To be honest, Lowen is the only other person besides me and Remus who know about our little "sleepovers." For some reason, his presence by my bedside brings me unexplainable comfort and joy. I know he isn't too keen on the idea, but he does it nonetheless.

We meet up with Peter on the train. He tells us his break wasn't anything spectacular and we say the same to try to not make him feel so bad. It wasn't his fault he couldn't come anyways. Remus had his nose in one of his new books titled A Tale of Two Cities. When I asked him what it was about, he gave me a lengthy explanation about the French Revolution and someone named Sidney Carton. I tried to sound interested because he had told me this was another one of his favorites, but I just couldn't do it. Even for him. It was too boring.

Anyways, James, Sirius, and I, being the procrastinators we are, hadn't done any of our homework assigned for holiday break. So, we took full advantage of a multiple hour train ride to do it. You could say it was a disaster because most of it wasn't answered right, it was sloppy, etc etc. Remus just looked down at us and smirked because he had done all of his homework at James's house. I tried not to think about it.

Getting back into the flow of everyday life after such a fantastic break was a bit hard. Getting burdened with a lot of homework and studying and keeping up with your social life can really wear a person down. I have had many sleepless nights for sure. Getting up at 6am to get ready for classes doesn't help either.

A few full moons go by and before we know it, it's the end of May! For the most part, third year is completed! I can't believe it. We've all grown up so fast!

In years past, I had always known there was some kind of end of year dance, but first and second years weren't allowed to go. Aaron told me plenty about it and how much fun it was. So, I wasn't surprised when I saw the flyer posted in the Gryffindor common room.

It was a bright morning in early-June when we first noticed it. I, always being the cow's tail of the group, had just gotten up and was walking down the stairs into the common room when I heard the commotion.

"Hey Tonksie!" Sirius greets me as I enter the common room.

"What's going on over there?" I ask, indicating the mob congregated around the notice board.

"Oh," he says. "They posted something about that end of year dance."

"Did they?" I ask, kind of intrigued. "We can go this year, can't we?"

"Yeah," James says. "Third year and up."

"Good!" I say, striding over to the bulletin board as people clear out to go to breakfast. "It should be fun!"

"I guess so," James says. "But we gotta get ourselves dates, huh Sirius?"

"Yeah," Sirius says. "I'll just walk around shirtless and I'll get at least five."

"You're so full of yourself," I mutter.

"What was that chickadee?" he asks.

"Oh nothing," I say, finally reaching the bulletin board. Pinned on it is a bright yellow flyer that says:

Hey Students! Looking for a fun way to close out the year? Well, it's that time again! Time for the annual end of year ball! (For students Third year and up.)

Attire: Formal (There will be a trip to Hogsmede one week previous to the ball to pick up any needed clothing.)

When: June 18th at 5:00pm

Where: The Great Hall

Hope to see all of you there!

After scanning the flyer three times, I turn to my left and expect to see Sirius, but Remus is standing there instead. His brow is furrowed as he reads the flyer.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"I… can't go," he says, looking nervously at his shoes.

"What?" I ask, astonished. "Why?"

"The 18th is the… yanno," he says, looking nervously around him to see if anyone is listening.

"Ohhh.." I say, recognition hitting me full in the face. The 18th is the full moon. "That's a shame."

"It is," he says, finally looking up at me. "Because I was going to ask you if you wanted to go with me."

This makes my cheeks burn red hot and I blink my eyes very fast.

"Oh," I say, still flustered by his comment. "I would've loved to have gone with you Remus." .

"Really?" he asks, the happy glint in his eye returning.

"Yeah…" I say. "It would've been nice, wouldn't it?"

"I would have tried to make it the best evening of your life," he says, gazing at me with those amber eyes.

I am too giddy to speak, so I just turn my attention back to the flyer. All of a sudden, Sirius marches over to stand right in between us, breaking the moment.

"So, ya gonna take Tonksie, Moony?" he asks nonchalantly.

"No," Remus says, blushing again.

"Well why not?" Sirius asks.

"The 18th is the… yanno?" he repeats. "How many times am I gonna have to repeat this?"

"Ohhhhhhhh," Sirius says , a little obnoxiously. "The… the… yeah. I getcha."

"Yeah," Remus says, biting his lip. "I'm gonna go get some breakfast."

"You do that," Sirius says as Remus begins to walk away.

"And I'll have bloody good time doing it, too," Remus says as he exits through the portrait hole. I start to chuckle.

"He's a git," Sirius says as he turns back to me.

"No he's not," I say, starting to walk away. "He was trying to be funny."

"I was joking chickadee," he says as he follows me. "So would you have gone with him?"

"Probably," I say.

"You're joking right?" he says incredulously. I whip around to face him.

"No, I'm not, Black," I say murderously.

"Woah, calm down," he says, backing up a few steps. "I was just kidding."

"No you weren't," I say, crossing my arms.

"Common Tonks," he says, stepping back closer to me. "You know Remus is like my brother."

"I hope so," I say sassily.

"Well, he is," he says, turning around to shoulder his bag. "I didn't mean what I said, okay?"

"Alright," I say, grudgingly letting it go.

"Walk with me to breakfast, okay?" he says, turning back to me. "The git named James left me. He's probably chasing Evans down."

"Are you talking about Lily?" I ask, confused.

"Yeah," Sirius says as we exit the common room. "He's got a crush on her, you know."

"I thought he did," I say, considering this for a moment. "She doesn't like him."

"He knows that," Sirius says. "He says he'll get her one day. I tell him to let it go."

"I don't think she's gonna give in anytime soon," I say. "Not with what he does to Severus."

"But Snivellus is such a good target," Sirius argues.

"One: His name is Severus. Two: Maybe you can convince James to leave him alone, and maybe Lily will like him," I say as we pass the Charms classroom.

"Maybe," Sirius says, thinking. "But he's too much fun to mess with."

For the rest of the day, all anyone talks about is the dance. Who someone is going with, who is wearing what, what is gonna happen there. I think it's a bit insane, really, and I don't join in on most conversations.

A few days later, I'm in the common room late at night doing homework when the portrait hole swings open and Aaron walks in.

"Hey sis," he says as he walks over to me.

"Hey," I say, crossing off something on my essay.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asks, sitting on the edge of my couch.

"Homework," I say. "What else?"

"I see," he says, leaning back.

"Mhm," I say, not really wanting to talk to him.

"So sis," he says. "Got a date for the dance yet?"

"No," I say, writing one final sentence to complete my essay.

"You aren't going with Remus?" he asks, confused.

"No," I say. "He's not going."

"Why?" Aaron asks. I have to think hard for a minute to get a good answer.

"He doesn't want to," I say. "He's not really one for dances."

"Oh," he says. "I'm sorry sis."

"It's fine," I say, rereading the paragraph for errors.

"No one else asked you?" he asks casually.

"Nope," I say, finally deciding that the essay is as good as it's gonna get.

"Sorry sis," he says.

"Aaron," I say, looking up at him. "Don't worry I'm fine."

"Just looking out for you," he says, stretching.

"You got a date?" I ask, curious.

"Yeah," he says. "Her name is Elaina."

"That's nice," I say. "I hope you two have fun."

"I'm sure we will," he says. We sit in silence for a few minutes. "Well, I'm off to bed. Night sissy."

"Night Aaron," I say, kiss him on the cheek and he's off. I sit there in silence packing up my stuff for a while until the portrait hole opens again. It's Sirius this time.

"Hey Tonksie," he says.

"What are you doing up and about?" I ask, shoving another book in my bag.

"I had some… thinking to do," he answers, sitting down on my couch.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask, strapping my bag closed.

"Stuff," he says. "How to solve world hunger. I think I have the answer."

"Shut up, Sirius," I say chuckling. "What were you really thinking about?"

"Well, I was considering my dates for the dance," he says.

"Did you decide?" I ask.

"Yep," he says, running his hand through his hair.

"And?" I ask, extremely curious now.

"Would you like to go to the dance with me?" he asks casually.


Oooh cliff hanger! (:

Have a LOVELY Easter everyone! Thanks so much for all of my fans! Happy Easter from me to you! (:



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