I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 54

Look, even bad years are pretty good years I think. -Robert Downey Jr.


*Tonks's POV*

We step into the crowded, dimly lit bar just as it starts pouring down rain.

"Well that was lucky," Sirius mutters as he hangs his jacket on a crowded coat rack. It looks as if everyone from Hogwarts has congregated here, along with The Three Broomsticks' usual customers; low candles burn on the walls, casting an orange glow over this chaotic setting.

"Are we even going to be able to find a table?" James asks, glancing around the room with wide eyes.

"Of course," I say. Taking a deep breath, I lead the group deeper into the bar, searching for a table.

"Look!" Lily suddenly exclaims. "A booth just opened up over there!"

All six of our heads whip in the direction of Lily's pointed finger. A group of old warlocks has just stood up to leave a booth in the far corner of the bar. Unfortunately, we aren't the only group on the hunt for a table. A pack of sixth years follow closely behind us, and I notice they've seen the booth as well.

"Go!" I loudly whisper in James's ear, and the six of us legitimately start running to the open table. Of course, I catch my foot on a bar stool and land straight on my face. My friends keep running and claim the booth before Lydia comes back to make sure I'm okay. The sixth years give us dirty looks then move on to find another table.

"Well that was exciting," James mutters, glancing down at his menu.

"'Ello, welcome to The Three Broomsticks," says a young wizard with greasy hair, untidy clothes, and a face full of zits. "I'll be your wait-a', Fergus. What can I get for you?"

"Wotcher," I say. "Can I just have a butterbeer?"

"Butterbeer it is," he says, writing it down on a small notepad. "And for you?" He turns to Sirius.

"Your finest Firewhiskey," he says, with a slight voice infliction of someone rich and pampered. We all wait for him to say he's joking, but he doesn't. Fergus looks down at him with a puzzled expression on his face.

"You're not of age," he determines.

"Who says I'm not?"

"I do," Fergus says. "You're a Hogwarts student."

"I have never been more insulted in my life," Sirius says, looking aghast and placing a hand over his heart.

"How old are you?" Fergus asks.

"None of your business," Sirius says, crossing his arms.

"I'll bring you butterbeer," the waiter says, rolling his eyes. Sirius slumps down into his seat, his little game come to an end.

A few minutes later, orders in hand, Fergus leaves the table.

"Sirius!" Lily exclaims.


"What was that for?" Lydia asks, trying to control her laughter.

"Ah, I just wanted to have some fun with him!"

"I think he might've believed you for a second!" I mutter, chuckling.

"I think so, too!" Sirius laments. "Damn."

Fergus suddenly comes back with our orders. As he passes Sirius his mug of Butterbeer, he mutters:

"Better luck next time, sonny."


*Remus's POV*

They came back from Hogsmede with funny stories and wonderful dresses, but nothing was better than having her back in my arms. She had told me earlier that day that she didn't want me seeing her dress before the ball; I was surprisingly okay with that. It would make the whole night more spectacular. I saw Lily's and Lydia's dresses, which were nice, but I could only imagine Tonks's dress. I was sure she was going to be the most beautiful girl there.

A few days pass in a blur of bright purple hair and naps, when one morning I wake up and my body tells me it's the day of the full moon before my mind does. Pain hits me like a brick wall, right in the head.

"I should get paid for this," I mutter as I get up and run into the bathroom to puke.

"G'mornin' Remus!" Sirius yells from his bed.

"Morning," I feebly say between retches. When I've finished, I stumble back into the dormitory and slide into bed.

"What a beautiful way to start our day," Sirius mutters sarcastically from his four poster.

"Welcome to my life," I say, burying my face into my pillow.

"Sorry, mate," James says as he starts to get ready.

A few minutes later, the boys decide to head down to breakfast.

"If we see Tonks, want us to send her up?" James asks before leaving.

"Please," I mutter.

"Sure thing," Sirius says. As they head down the spiral stairs, I can hear him mutter, "I wish I had a nice girlfriend to take care of me when I'm sick."

I guess I am pretty lucky. I have a beautiful, wonderful, amazing girlfriend. And, she does take care of me when I'm sick, which just happens to be once a month. I loose track of time, but the next thing I'm aware of is soft hands wrapping around my chest.

"Tonks," I mutter, rolling to face her.

"I didn't think you were awake," she whispers, smiling.

"I can never get any good sleep on this day," I explain, feebly lifting a hand to trace the lines of her face, most ungracefully. She smiles warmly nonetheless.

"James sent me up," she says, glancing at my shaking hand. She grabs it and holds it to her lips for a second before placing it down on the pillow between us.

"Did you eat?" I ask. Even though I feel as if I'm an inch from death, I'm still concerned for her well-being.

"No," she admits. "I wanted to see you first."

"Go eat then," I say, leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek. "I'll be fine."

"I don't want to le-"

"Don't worry about me," I say, trying to smile. "I'm a pro at this."

"Oh… alright," she says, sliding out of bed. I watch her cross the dormitory to the door. She stops at the threshold. "I'll be back."

"Love you," I mutter.

"I love you more."


*Sirius's POV*

"And here she is, the lovebird," I say grandly as she rushes into the Great Hall and over to the Gryffindor table, looking anxious, clad in a t-shirt and baggy sweatpants.

"Wotcher," she mutters, totally ignoring my crass comment, piling food onto her plate.

"You're not going to yell at me?" I question, smirking at James.


"I said you were a lovebird," I explain, proud at my creativity.

"Oh… how nice," she says, shoveling pancakes into her mouth, still not totally paying attention to me.

"What's up your butt this morning?" I ask, scoffing.

"What's up my butt?" she questions, pausing.


"Well, I don't know if you've forgotten, but my boyfriend is upstairs, feeling like death, about to-"

She whispers this part.

"-turn into a bloody werewolf tonight!"

"I haven't forgotten!"

"Just give me a break," she says, going back to her breakfast. "I have a lot on my mind."

No one talks to Tonks after that. No one talks in general, for fear of being hexed into next Tuesday.


*Tonks's POV*

"I'm back," I call from the door as I close it softly behind me. "Remus?"

I glance over at his bed; his eyes are closed, peacefully resting on his pillow.

"Oh love," I mutter, tiptoeing over to his bed. I slide back into my place, resting my head on his chest. "I'm so sorry for you. I know you probably don't like hearing that, but I do. It's really hard for me to see you this way."

I know he can't hear me, but saying this somehow makes me feel better.

"I probably shouldn't have yelled at Sirius. He doesn't know what it's like to go through this. Seeing someone you love unconditionally in this much pain and suffering. I just snapped. I'll have to apologize later I guess."

He shifts underneath me. I know he won't be asleep for much longer, but I want it last as much as it can. I know sleep is a gift on full moon days; something rare, and something to be cherished.

"I love you so much, you know that right?"

"But I love you more," he whispers, not opening his eyes, still apparently asleep.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough," he says, opening his eyes to look up at me. I smile.

"Well, that statement was false then," I say, smiling playfully. "I love you more!"

"No, I most definitely love you more," he says, smiling as well.

"Nonsense," I say, snuggling my head into his chest.

"I love you more than myself," he says. Everything goes silent for a few seconds.

"What?" I ask, sitting up, still processing that.

"I love you more than myself," he repeats.

"Remus…." I mutter. I don't know how to answer that.

"You are more important to me, than I am," he says, reaching up to cup my face.

"Nonsense," I say again, faltering a little.

"Why so upset?"

"I don't like that you don't like yourself," I say, laying back down next to him.

"I cant do anything to change it."

"I know you cant…" I whisper.

"Just remember that, love," he says. "You are my life."


Hey peoples!

So yea, updates, hooray! :D Thought I'd give you some good old fashioned fluff! Haven't had much of that lately! D:

I got admitted to the hospital on Tuesday night (ambulance and everything, it was quite scary!) but I'm out now, and healthy! Don't worry about me! (:

How did you guys like this chapter?! REVIEWS are amaaaaaaazing! :D

Also, is this story dragging out? I know it's going to be either two or three parts, but is that too much? Should I skip some things, or this perfect? I cant decide! Just help me out! :D

Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend! :D


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