I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 55

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up-James Baldwin

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*Tonks's POV*

The night of the full moon is a sleepless one. Tossing and turning in my bed, not one inch tired, my heart a butterfly in my chest. Around 2 in the morning, I give up trying to sleep and take refuge on the windowsill, staring out at the bright, white full moon, seemingly taking up the entire sky with its glory. Most people think this sight is beautiful, while to me, it's just another cold reminder of what is.

The morning of the ball dawns sunny and bright. After only having about an hour of sleep, seeing sunlight doesn't please me.

"Morning Tonks!" Lily exclaims, ripping back my bed curtains, beaming. She obviously doesn't know of my predicament and is full of bubbly excitement for the ball this evening.

"Ugh… Lily," I moan, pulling the blankets back over my head. "More sleep."

"No! It's time to get up!" she protests, ripping them back off my head; I cringe.

"Please!" I beg.

"Fine," she mutters, throwing the blankets back over me. I hear her walk back to her bed. "Did you guys see the full moon last night? It was gorgeous!"

I sit bolt upright. A sudden thought hits me square in the chest.

Remus.

"See you guys later!" I yell as I sprint out of my bed and through the door, leaving my friends with very puzzled looks on their faces. I storm down the stairs and into the common room. There are already a number of people awake, wanting to get a head start so they have plenty of time to get ready for the ball. I search the common room through bloodshot eyes, looking for one light brown head.

"Tonks," someone calls feebly behind me. I whip around to see him. Pale as a ghost, ruffled hair and a number of new cuts on his face and hands; his arm is in a sling. He is slouched down in a chair, smiling slightly up at me.

"Oh Remus," I mutter, walking over to him. "How are you, darling?"

"Fine," he whispers. I lay a gentle kiss on his forehead. "All the couches were taken."

I chuckle. "I'm sorry. I'm sure this isn't very comfortable."

"It's not," he assures me. I kneel down next to him. "You don't look so good."

"I didn't get any sleep last night," I admit. "I was too worried about you."

"Love, please don't loose sleep over me," he says, sighing.

"It's hard not to," I say, grabbing his hand and burying my face in it.

"There's an open couch over there," he whispers a few minutes later.

"Wha-?" I mumble sleepily.

"Go lay down on that couch," he says, pointing feebly over to a couch by the window.

"You deserve it more than I do," I argue.

"You need rest before the ball tonight," he says. "Go lay down."

"You're coming?!" I confirm, suddenly full of excitement.

"Yes!" he says, a smile brightening his face. "Now go lay down!"

"Fine," I mutter, crawling over to the couch. I position myself so I can still see him from where I lay. And my eyelids drop like bricks.

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*Remus's POV*

The tux is from Oliver, so it doesn't exactly fit right.

"Are you sure I look fine?" I ask for the billionth time.

"Yes, mate," Sirius groans, doing his hair in a mirror. "The sling really adds sex appeal."

I look down at my arm and realize it's not going to be much good for dancing. I sigh.

"Remus," James says from his bed. "You look fine. Tonks isn't going to care about your arm sling."

"But I look like shit," I protest. "My face is all cut up, my skin is the same color as paper, and my bloody arm is useless."

"Tonks doesn't particularly care about looks, I think," James says. "Just look at her date from last year."

"Hey!" Sirius exclaims, offended.

"Just kidding, mate, just kidding. You're gorgeous," James says, scoffing.

"I like to think so," Sirius mutters, going back to styling his hair.

"Anyways," James says, turning his attention back to me. "Don't worry about it. I know Tonks is over the moon about you being able to come this year, she's not going to be upset about a few scratches."

"I guess so," I mutter, looking back in the mirror. "Thanks."

"Always there for you, mate," James says, standing up and clapping me on the back. "Are we ready?"

"No," Sirius says, grabbing more styling gel.

"Are we all ready besides the prima donna over there?" James corrects.

"Yeah," I confirm.

"Let's go then," James says, walking over to the door. He holds it open for Peter and I.

"Hey wait!" Sirius protests from the mirror. "I'm almost done!"

"Goodbye Sirius!" James yells before closing the door. He turns to us. "I swear, he takes longer getting ready than a girl!"

I scoff and hobble down the stairs into the common room. There, we wait for our ladies, and Sirius. A few minutes later, he comes rushing down the stairs, hair styled perfectly.

"Why did you leave me?!" he asks, taking his spot next to me.

We're spared having to answer this question by the arrival of the girls. Lily leads the pack, clad in her beautiful blue silk gown that makes James drool. Lydia follows, looking lovely.

She is the last one down the stairs. Her mystery dress is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. The dark purple satin hugs her body until below her hips then flares out; it compliments her figure in so many ways. Her hair is a dark red color that comes to her shoulders, curled and styled like a pinup girl. Her dark brown eyes are complimented by a smoky eye shadow, and her lips are as red as a tomato. She seems to sparkle as she walks towards me, and I can't believe she is mine.

"Hey," she says, ignoring the other boys and walking up to me. She straightens my jacket and tie before looking me in the eye. I melt.

"Hey," I stammer out. "You look… gorgeous."

"Thank you," she says, blushing madly, only making her more irresistible.

"Where's my lady?" Sirius questions loudly, breaking our moment. Tonks rolls her eyes.

"Probably adding more tissues to her bra," she scoffs, stalking off to talk to Lily, obviously still pissed about Sirius's choice in dates.

"What's up her butt?" Sirius mutters, hands deep in his pockets.

"What's up with you saying that lately?" James remarks, chuckling.

"I dunno," Sirius explains. "It has a certain ring to it that I quite like."

"I guess it is catchy," James says, then they go off on a long discussion about the quality of that statement. Yet, I can't take my eyes off my girlfriend. Even when she's mad, she is still stunning. As she talks animatedly to Lily, her dark red curls bounce on her shoulders. Her pale skin and the dark purple satin of the dress are perfect together.

"Ah, there she is!" Sirius's voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn around to see Scarlet coming down the stairs in a slinky, low cut dress that hugs her body to the knee. Her cleavage is right out there for all to see. May comes in behind her in a similar ensemble. Sirius, Scarlet, James, and May exchange greetings. I can already tell the whole situation must be awkward for James and May. Sirius and Scarlet seem to have hit it right off. I smirk.

"Ready everyone?" James announces, breaking his awkward contact with May. Everyone gives their general consent, grabbing their dates and starting to the portrait hole. Tonks bids farewell to Lily and Lydia, who still have to wait for their dates, and comes back to link arms with me.

"You look fantastic," I muse as we follow James and May out of the common room.

"Stop saying that," she says, smiling and blushing. She can't hide how flustered she is.

"Why?" I ask. "It's the truth."

She bites her lip and glances at the floor, but not in a bad way. Her cheeks are still bright pink.

"You're too good to me," she says, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'm the luckiest guy in the world," I whisper in her ear. Being around her takes all the pain and angst of the previous days away. I can barely feel an ache or pain at the moment. I'm on cloud nine.

We journey down to the Great Hall through the crowd of gathering students, decked out in their best dresses and suits. I see Oliver and his date along the way, a redhead girl in his year named Tilly. He winks at me as I pass.

When we finally make it to the Great Hall, we find a table large enough to seat all 11 of us, since Tonks insisted that Lily and Lydia be able to sit with us, which I have no problem with. When we finally find a table, I find a seat next to James with Tonks on the other side of me.

"It's so nice, isn't it?" she says, gazing up at the decorations around us. Since I didn't attend the ball last year, this was all a new experience for me. Seeing all the lights, and tables, and dance floor was kind of overwhelming.

Suddenly, Lily and Lydia arrive with their dates. Bennett and Dean look their best in their tuxes, smiling around at us as they take their seats. I glance over a James and notice his hand gripping the knife with white knuckles as his eyes zero in on Dean. With a small movement, I lay my hand over his, and he relaxes.

"Thanks mate," he mutters, looking down into his lap.

"No problem," I whisper back. I turn around to see Tonks giving me a funny look. Since Lily is seated on the other side of her, I give her a throwaway hand. She seems to pick up what I'm laying down, and does not pursue it any further.

Dinner was quite interesting in my opinion. The food was great, but the social aspect wasn't so. Most of the time, the table was quiet, awkwardly eating their food. Sometimes you would hear a small giggle escape Scarlet as Sirius did something under the table, or Lily would cough and glance in James's direction. To me, Tonks and I were the only remotely normal couple there. Conversation usually revolved around Quidditch, school, or the ball, and was short-lived.

Tonks has to help me cut my steak since I'm injured, but I don't mind. After that, she keeps a hand on my knee since I only have use of one limb, just to remind me she is there. I love that she did that.

As soon as the empty plates are taken away, the DJ announces that the dance floor is now open, and the real party begins.

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Hey guys! I love when I get to update frequently! :D

You like this chapter? LOL that didn't work out the way it did in my head. Oh well!

Please review! Reviews are for it being Labor Day! :D Hooray!

xoxo

Ps, the hospital was for internal bleeding, not fun D:

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