I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 56

"People who matter don't judge, and people who judge don't matter." -(don't know exactly who said this one, but I got it as a suggestion from DanH2010, thanks! (: )


*Tonks's POV*

He stands up from his seat at the dinner table and offers his hand, smiling. I blush and take it, feeling his rough, scarred hand fit like a puzzle piece underneath mine. He leads me onto the quickly filling dance floor, then pulls me into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he mutters to me, flustered and blushing, as we try to position ourselves with his arm in a sling.

"Don't be sorry," I say back, suppressing a smile. We end up with my right hand in his left and my left on his shoulder, with his right awkwardly between us. It's a bugger to try to dance with, but I'm just going to have to accept it.

As soon as the music begins, a quick waltz, a mischievous smirk comes across his face. Then, with strength I couldn't have guessed he had, he sweeps me to the right, sending my dress twirling. We do the quick one-two-three step of a traditional waltz, something he was surprisingly good at. He led with his good arm, and I had to hold on tightly to his shoulder, or the sheer force of our twirling would whip us apart.

Dancing with Remus wasn't even comparable to dancing with Sirius. Yes, Remus did it in a similar way, but the atmosphere was so different. Remus never took his eyes off me, held my hand so tight it might break. His aura was so different than Sirius, who was into having his hands all over me, while Remus just wanted to have me tight close to him. He didn't care where he had me, just as long as he had me. And Remus just plain loved me. That was the biggest thing to me. Sirius just wanted me while Remus loved me. And that made all the difference in the world.

After the first song is complete, another waltz strikes up. We are both panting, his face red with little beads of sweat along his brow line, and I'm sure I have a similar look.

"Ready for another go?" he asks, chuckling at how winded we both were.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I answer, beaming. He leans in and leaves a small kiss on my cheek. His amber eyes twinkle in a way I've never seen before as we start to dance again. Soon, I'm laughing just out of pure bliss, pure happiness. I've never felt this way in my life.


*Sirius's POV*

Thank God, the first dance is over.

Dancing with Scarlet wasn't as fun as I imagined it would be. Last year, I got to whip Tonks around pretty good. But Scarlet wouldn't have any of that. We danced normally, stiffly, but I was still close to her. My hands on her bare back was a sensation I don't think I'll forget for a long time.

"That was fun," I say, lying for the sake of starting a conversation.

"I guess," she says, looking down at her feet. The atmosphere turns awkward. I ponder her body language for a moment, then decide on what to do.

"Want to go… get a drink?" I ask, trying to make her comfortable.

"Sure," she says, finally looking up at me. We walk over to a table and grab some drinks. A few songs pass and I watch Tonks and Remus fly all over the dance floor; Tonks's hair is already messed up, and Remus looks like he had just gotten told he didn't have lycanthropy any more. I feel a pang of jealousy.

"What are you looking at?" Scarlet questions next to me; I suddenly remember she's there.

"Oh, just my friends," I admit.

"That Tonks girl?" she asks. "If you wanted to go with her, why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to go with her," I lie, rolling my eyes; women were so quick to jump to conclusions. "I wanted to go with you."

I step into her, turning my back to the dance floor. My hands rest on her silky hips, and she blushes. This is what she wanted.

"I'm glad I got to come with you," I muse, lips getting dangerously close to her neckline.

"Are you?"

"Of course."

My lips make a path down her neck, and I feel her melt underneath me.



"Sirius, not here," she says. I stop.

"Where?" I ask, confused.

"Follow me."

She grabs my hand and leads me from the Hall, and up the marble staircase. She makes a right and goes down the Transfiguration corridor. About halfway down there is a sizeable broom cupboard.

"In here," she purrs, grabbing me by my tie and pulling me in.

This is what she wants. This is all Scarlet wants. And the thing is, I don't have a problem with giving it to her.


*James's POV*

There go Sirius and Scarlet.

I watch them sneak from the hall, thinking they're not going to be noticed. I decide I'll have to question him later.

"Where are they going off to?" May asks next to me.

"No idea," I say. "Knowing Sirius, it's nothing good."

"Knowing Scarlet, too."

"What about her? Aren't you two friends?" I ask, turning to face her.

"Of course," she says. "But let's just say she isn't the purest girl in the school."

"Oh…" I say, letting that sink in.

"Yeah, that's Scarlet," she says. We sit in silence for a few moments. My eyes wander over to Remus and Tonks, dancing along with the crowd to a poplar song by the Weird Sisters. Tonks is totally into it, while Remus just watches her and laughs, so in love I can feel it all the way over here. My eyes then find Lily and Dean at the refreshment table. They both hold a glass of punch, talking and smiling. She looks so happy. And beautiful.

"You like her, don't you?" May asks, interrupting my thoughts.


"Lily Evans," she repeats. "You like her?"

"Well… I mean," I start. "I asked you to the dance for a reason-"

"I know you don't like me," she says, sighing.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me, James," she says, scoffing. "We can just be friends, I don't mind."

"You don't?"

"Of course not," she shifts positions, redoing the strap on her heel so she doesn't have to look at me. "You like Evans."

"Yeah," I admit. "I do."

"I won't tell her," she assures me, sitting up straight again. "I'm not like Scarlet."

"Really?" I ask. "All Tonks talks about, no offense, is how evil you two are."

"Well, in my opinion, it's just Scarlet. Unfortunately I just stand by her. I don't know why I can't just stop being her friend, she isn't very nice. I have nothing against any of the girls in my dorm."

"I'm glad you said that," I say, smiling. "I'll talk to Tonks, maybe I'll get her to stop hating you."

"Thanks," she smiles.

"Want to go dance?" I ask.

"You're on."


*Remus's POV*

The night wears on, and it really takes a toll on me. Of course, I don't let Tonks know this. I just keep going, willing myself to make it until the end.

About an hour and a half after dancing began, she stops and runs her hands through her hair.

"I think I need some air," she says, winded.

"Me too," I admit. I hold out my hand and she grabs it, locking fingers with me. We leave the Hall just as another song starts.

We find refuge on the ledge of a fountain near the Oak Front Doors. I have to tenderly set myself down, Tonks helping me with gentle hands.

"Tired yet?" she asks, smirking, when we've gotten situated.

"Not even a little."

"You're a liar," she scoffs, smiling.

"No I'm not," I argue, smiling as well. "I could go for hours and hours."

"If you say so," she says, wrapping her arm around mine and laying her head on my shoulder, cuddled up next to me.

"Have you had a good night?" I ask.

"More than a good night," she says. "It was perfect."

"I'm glad," I say, smiling even more broadly. We sit in blissful silence for a few moments.

"Did you see Sirius and Scarlet anywhere?" she asks out of no where. I think about it for a few seconds.

"No, I didn't," I admit, puzzled.

"I wonder where they ran off to," Tonks says, scoffing. I decide not to answer. All of sudden, she sits up and looks me directly in the face.

"I love you," she says, her dark brown eyes trained on mine. I grab her hand.

"I love you more," and before she can argue, I lean in and kiss her. Her pale arms slide up my body and wrap gracefully around my neck, while my one good arm holds her tight to me, like an anchor. When we come up for air, she whispers:

"No, I love you more."

"Don't, Nymphadora."

With that, she kisses me deeply again.

"Don't call me Nymphadora."

I rest my forehead on hers, closing my eyes. The light of the almost full moon shines down on our entwined bodies, the summer air cool and still.

I kiss her once again. "One more dance, my lady?"

"It would be my pleasure."

We get up and walk back to the castle, arms wrapped tightly around each other. The grounds are filled with other couples like us, wanting to get away to get some air. The night is clear, not a cloud in sight, and cool. To me, it's the perfect setting for something as special as this.

It just so happens that when we get back to the Great Hall, it's time for the last song of the evening, a slow dance. The same song in which I watched her with Sirius last year. I pull her onto the dance floor and wrap one arm around her waist; her arms find their way again to my neck.

"Damn this sling," I mutter, ripping it off with a wince and tossing it to the side.

"Remus!" she scolds. "Put it back on!"

"After this dance," I plead.

"Okay," she agrees, and I pull her even tighter to me. We are one body, slowly rocking back and forth in time to the music. The lights are dim, the music beautiful and soft in the background, but frankly I don't even notice anything but the woman I'm dancing with. She is my world. Her head rests on my shoulder, her eyes closed, peaceful.

"This must be what paradise feels like," I muse in her ear. She smiles slightly, then goes back to an expression of bliss. I smile and leave a kiss on her soft lips before resting my head on hers once again.

This is what I live for, perfect nights like these. I don't remember any of my pain, any of my suffering. I don't remember any of my terrible past, or anything bad in the present. I don't worry about the future. I live in the moment for the love of my life, and nothing could ever change that.


Hey guys! Oops I haven't updated in a while! D:

Sorry guys, so much has been going on! Just finished a show, got cast in another movie called 13 score (I get to die by being impaled :D) and just so many other blessings! (: So hopefully I'll be back for a while for your reading enjoyment! (:

What about this one? Cute? I wanted to give an aspect about everyone's night, so I hoped this was good! I was on the fence about Sirius and Scarlet, but hey, no offense, I know people who did that sort of thing at that age. So that is my argument to anyone who disagrees with me (:

Hope you enjoyed! :D

Please Reviewwww!


Ps, new cover picture for this story is tonks in her ball gown (: hope you guys like it! :D

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