I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 66

"Life's too short, babe, time is flyingI'm looking for baggage that goes with mine" - Mimi, from the musical Rent.


*Tonks's POV*

"It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS!"

"Eveeeeeeerywhereeeeee, you goooo!"

James and Sirius get way too excited for Christmas every year. It's not even December yet, and they're already parading down the halls, decked out in their gear and singing Christmas carols, while Remus and I keep a safe distance behind, pretending we don't know them.

"Sing with me, Tonksie!" Sirius exclaims, running back and slinging his arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah, come on!" James chimes in, attaching to Remus so the four of us are in a line, Remus and I trapped in the middle. "You know the song!"

"It's beginning to look a lot…." I start, unsure, feeling a bit awkward. "Like… Christmas!"

James and Sirius look at each other, shaking their heads. "Good try," Sirius assures me. "Go, Remus!"

"Eveeeeeerywhereeeee, you gooooo!" Remus sings boldly. James and Sirius stop in the middle of the hall, pausing for a second, then burst out in applause.

"Good job, mate!" James says as people run into him from behind. "I'm proud of you."

"Balls to the walls, Moony," Sirius says. "Fantastic."

"Hey, I thought I sounded pretty good!" I argue.

"Ehh…." Sirius says, making a face as the bell rings. I give him a dirty look. "I'm just kidding, chickadee!"

"You better be," I warn as we enter late into O.W.L. prep.

"Ah, here they are, the main attractions," Professor McGonagall comments as we take our usual seats in the back. "I would like to warn you that-"

"We know, we mustn't be tardy again," Sirius says, rolling his eyes. "Minnie, the corridors are so crowded, it's difficult to get thr-"

"No excuses, Mr. Black," she says, gliding down the aisles, passing out packets to everyone. I don't realize how big it is until it hits my desk with a THUMP.

"Wow," Sirius breathes as the pack slams onto his desk, too. "What is this, Minnie?"

"Career Advice," Professor McGonagall answers plainly, to the whole class. "As you all know, it is tradition that the 5th years meet with their heads of house each year to discuss their future before the O.W.L.'s. Now, after saying that, you all have the pleasure of getting to meet with me."

"Boo!" Sirius calls jokingly; I throw a paper ball at his head. Professor McGonagall doesn't seem to notice, and she just continues talking.

"Now, how many of you here have any idea as to what you would like to do after you graduate from Hogwarts?" she asks, and a few people raise their hands, including Remus and James. Sirius and I look at the two of them incredulously.

"You honestly know what you want to do?" Sirius whispers to James.

"I have an idea," James admits, smirking.

"Well I don't!" Sirius whines, crossing his arms as McGonagall proceeds with her lecture.

"It's okay, Sirius," I whisper. "I don't have any idea either."

And, I am being honest when I say this. I haven't put very much thought into what I would like to do after Hogwarts. Well, no thought actually. I know of the many jobs you can do, most of them dealing with the Ministry, but I really don't know much about any of them. I know this is a bad thing, as I am going to take my O.W.L.'s in a few months.

"Now, I would like you all to open the packet I gave you," McGonagall says. The room is filled with rustling paper and we all see that the first couple pages are a huge list. Of jobs. "This is a complete list of jobs you may want to consider. The remainder of the packet gives more detail about each one, such as how much it pays, what it entails, etc. It's in alphabetical order. I would like you all to compile me a list of five jobs you might consider, and a few details about them. The rest of the class time is yours."

"Great, that means we get to goof off," Sirius says, flipping his packet closed.

"Oh, come on, Padfoot," James pleads. "It's not going to take that long."

"Fine, Prongs," Sirius says, rolling his eyes, flipping his packet back open.

I turn my attention to the list itself, and my eyes widen. There has to be over a couple hundred jobs in this packet. I hastily scan the last few pages, seeing if anything catches my eye. Wizengamot, Department of Magical Transportation, Department of Mysteries… Nothing seems interesting. I sigh heavily and turn to Remus.

"What are you looking into?" I ask quietly. The whole classroom is silent, save the scratching of quills and rustling of paper. He looks down at his paper, reading it over carefully before answering.

"I want to teach," he admits, still looking down at his paper. "But… it's going to be very, very hard for me to get work."

"Why?" I ask. He looks at me sadly then I realize. "Oh…."

"Yeah," he says, setting his quill down. "Even in the Muggle world, I'll struggle. If I miss a ton of work and I can't give them a better reason than 'I'm sick' they'll fire me. And… well you realize the other problem. Prejudice."

"I'm sure you'll be able to find something!" I say, trying to bring his spirits up. "If Dumbledore let you in to learn, I'm sure he'll let you in to teach if you really wanted to."

"He's not the problem," Remus explains. "It's the parents. What parent wants their child taught by a… someone like me."

I don't know how to answer that, so I just sit in silence, watching him mull it over in his mind. He looks disappointed, sad even. Everyone around him is planning their own future careers while this is practically a waste of time to him. I would never tell him that, but it's true. He got in the school to learn, but now that that time's almost over, he probably won't be able to get in to teach.

"What makes you want to teach?" I ask absentmindedly, doodling on the corner of my parchment.

"Honestly… I don't even know!" he explains, face lighting up. "I would love to be able to share my knowledge with kids. I would love to see them learn new things and grow up. I would like to have a positive impact on someone's life, even it was only for a year."

"I think you would be a brilliant teacher," I admit, stopping my doodling and looking up at him with shining eyes.

"Really? You think so?" he asks, considering me with a smirk. "Why?"

"You're smart… bookish… kind. I think the kind part is the most important. You are very reasonable and logical, and I think you'd be able to explain anything beautifully. You have to patient when working with kids, and believe me, you are. Does that make any sense?"

"Of course," he says, smiling proudly.

"I would hire you," I say, chuckling, turning back to the packet.

"Thanks, love," he says, planting a kiss on my cheek. "Now, get back to work, slacker."

"Oh, shove off," I say playfully back at him. He beams.

I take his advice and turn back to the bloody packet. I figure I should probably start from the beginning, so I flip back to the front page and start reading. As I scan the list, nothing grabs my attention until I get the end of the 'A' category.


For some odd reason, this simple word jumps out at me. I hastily flip to the back of packet where we can find the explanations.

Auror- Our mission is simple: to pursue and apprehend Dark wizards.

I raise my eyebrow and snort at this description. It has to be the shortest one in the entire packet, just one little sentence. Yet, somehow, it speaks a novel. Something about this stirs something inside of me, and I hastily write it down on my parchment. When I've finished, I continue to stare at it for several seconds, watching the ink dry. Professor McGonagall starts stalking up and the down the aisle, looking over shoulders, so I hurry up to write a few more down, though none of the others mean anything compared to the Auror.

The bell soon rings, bringing an end to our torture. As we all crowd around Professor McGonagall's desk, trying to hand our papers in, the five of us discuss what he wrote down. Peter admits that he didn't even finish two; Remus tells about teaching and a few other, super-smart jobs; finally it comes to James and Sirius and they both say the same thing.


"How weird, I wrote down Auror, too!" I exclaim, handing Professor McGonagall my paper.

"Can you imagine how bad ass we're going to be as Aurors, guys?" Sirius day dreams as we leave the classroom and enter the crowded corridor.

"I can only imagine," James says, not paying attention and actually tripping over a fourth year girl. "Sirius Black, James Potter, and Nymphadora Tonks: bettering society one dark wizard at a time."

"That's a good slogan," I admit, chuckling.

We continue to lunch, the whole class still buzzing with excitement from the assignment.

"I would have never thought so many people would get excited over a stupid class," James mutters, eavesdropping on the conversation of two black-haired Ravenclaws.

"We live in a crazy world, mate," Sirius says, taking a seat at the Gryffindor table.

"Indeed, we do," Remus agrees, piling his plate high with food.

"Holy shit, love," I say as he shovels it all into his mouth.

"Tonks, I'm starving," he explains. "The… you-know-what is soon."

"Oh, that's right, I forgot," I say, laughing. "I forgot you eat like a maniac when it gets close. We should just start calling it FMS, full moon syndrome."

With this, our entire table starts cracking up, trying to swallow half chewed food.

"Remus, you've got yourself a keeper, there!" Sirius exclaims many moments later.

"I know I do," Remus admits, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as the laughter dies down. "So FMS, is it? Or it could be PES, pissed at everything syndrome."

"That's a good one, too!" James exclaims, chuckling. "Or it could be your time of the month."

"That makes me sound like I'm on my period," Remus says, rolling his eyes. "No."

"Or your 'furry little problem!'" James says, trying to make a witty comeback. "Get it? Cause like, you're furry…."

"I actually like it," Sirius admits, high-fiving his friend. "Nice one."

"Yeah, I'm pretty quick-witted," James says, mocking dusting his shoulders off in arrogance.

"You're such an asshole," Sirius mutters, chuckling. "Self-worship."

"Look who's talking!" James exclaims. "Mr. I-stand-in-front-of-the-mirror-for-two-hours-every-morning!"

Remus snorts.

"I do not!" Sirius argues, blushing. "It's only for like…" He trails off, unable to finish his sentence.

"Exactly, a ridiculous amount of time."

"Remus, do I-"


"Damn. Guys, looking this good takes a while."

"Only because of how bad you start out!" James exclaims, laughing at his own joke. Soon, even Sirius is laughing along, the five of us completely forgetting about the stress and fear we all felt in the last hour. Now, our future doesn't even seem relevant. We're living in the moment, taking it one step at a time.


Hey guys!

Like this, dislike it? Review please! (:

Getting tired of Rent quotes? LOL because I'm not! #theatrekidprobs. And yes, I just used a hashtag on fan fiction! :D

So, I hope you all are having lovely days! Have a good week! I love you all so much! :D


Ps. I think I might start a little contest! To see who can tell me the name of the song both of the quotes from Rent have been! If you get it right, I'll give you a shout out in my next chapter, just to see if I'm the only musical theatre nerd out there! *hugs*

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