I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 67

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."-A. A. Milne


*Tonks's POV*

I can officially say it's acceptable for James and Sirius to celebrate they way do, since it's only three two weeks until Christmas. You can't help but feel jolly when you're around them, singing their heads off, trying to pump up everyone around them for the holidays.

One night, we're sitting around, doing a mass amount of homework in the common room, snow falling heavily outside the window. I'm honestly about to pound my head off the coffee table because I don't understand potions at all. Remus tries to help me, but my brain can't process it for some reason. I need a break, and James makes sure that is going to happen. He leans over and whispers something to Sirius, who nods, then stands up onto the coffee table.

"Attention! Attention, please!" he calls over the noise. Everyone stops whatever they were doing and looks expectantly up at James. "Thank you! So, how is everyone?!"

No one responds.

"Okay… Well, I would just like to announce that Sirius Black and I will be throwing a Christmas party here the night before break! So be there!" An awkward pause. "And tell everyone that isn't here about it!" Another pause. "Thank you, have a lovely holiday!" And he jumps down.

"Christmas party?" I ask as he takes his seat once again.

"Yeah, why not?" he says. "The first party was awesome, wasn't it?"

"Well, yeah," I admit.

"Then this should be great, too, right?!" he says excitedly. "We should get some food and drinks from the Three Broomsticks, or something," he mutters to Sirius.

"We're gonna have food at this party?" Remus questions. "Damn, I'll be there then."

"Of course!" James exclaims. "We need to upgrade from our last party. We have music, food, people…. That's about it."

"Decorations," I add, indicating all the garland and ornaments already placed throughout the common room. "It'll be fine."

"Yeah, I'm not worried," James admits, sitting back in his seat with his hands behind his head. "It'll be fun."

"Definitely," I agree, nodding my head and smiling. "Back to work, I suppose."

I sigh.


*One week later*

"I promise, we'll only be 15 minutes," James says as he and Sirius throw his invisibility cloak over them. Yeah, I know about the invisibility cloak, just in case you were wondering. We're all sitting around in the boy's dorm about an hour before the party is supposed to start. Remus is taking a nap on his bed, exhausted because the full moon was last night. I hold his hand, stroking his hair in his sleep as I listen to James and Sirius discus how they're going to bring the food back.

"Madam Rosmerta loves me, honestly," Sirius boasts from under the cloak. It's quite odd, not being able to see them but being able to listen to them. "She'll give us anything."

"Think so?" James asks.

"Yeah, of course!"

"Okay then, let's go!" James says again, and ominously, the dorm door opens then closes.

"How freaky is that?" I say in astonishment.

"So freaky," Peter agrees. "I didn't know we looked that odd."

We then lapse into an awkward silence; I continue to lay with Remus, while Peter attempts to wrap his mother's Christmas present.

"Damned tape," he mutters, pulling it off the wrapping paper and ruining it.

"Do you need help?" I offer. He thinks about it for a second then nods. I get up and travel over to his bed. "Do you have any more paper?"

"Yeah," he says, grabbing some from under his bed. "Here."

"Thanks," I say, ripping off the old, ruined paper and throwing it on the floor. "Honestly, I have no idea how to wrap a gift either. Maybe, with our combined failure, we'll get something nice."

"Maybe," he agrees, smiling, and we start wrapping the box again.

"What is it anyways?" I ask as he holds down a corner and I tape.

"A book about knitting," he admits. "I'm terrible at buying gifts."

"Why is it in a box?" I ask, confused. He freezes, eyes widening.

"Shit," he says, rolling his eyes at himself. "I'm so dumb."

"No," I say, trying to assure him. "It's fine. She'll love it."

"Thanks," he sighs. We tape the final corner, and he produces a bow. "Will this do?"

"Of course," I say, taking it and placing it on top. "There. I think it looks really nice."

We stop and admire our handiwork. It wasn't the neatest present ever, some corners creased and all the tape is visible, but it will do. He looks up at me and smiles.

"Thanks, Tonks," he says.

"You're welcome!" I reply, smiling as well. Peter and I never really had any sort of relationship, save him being in the same group of friends as me. But for some reason, today we could be called… friends, I guess. He's a little shy, but once you get to know him, he's something… special.


James and Sirius end up returning with the food within a half hour.

"We got it!" James exclaims from under the cloak, entering the dorm.

"We're geniuses!" Sirius adds, ripping off the cloak and pulling out a small, wooden crate.

"What did you get, one slice of bread?" I ask, eyeing the crate suspiciously.

"As I said," Sirius smirks. "We're geniuses."

He opens the crate and starts pulling out mass amounts of food like turkey legs, chips and dip, butterbeer, and much more.

"Unidentifiable extension charm?" I question.

"Yeah," James explains, pulling out even more food. "Madam Rosmerta did it for us."

The last item he pulls out surprises me.

"Firewhiskey?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow, taking the bottle from him.

"Yeah, why not?" Sirius replies, smirking. "It's only one bottle."

"Madam Rosmerta gave you this?" I question incredulously.

"Well… no," Sirius admits. "She was upstairs getting us some sandwiches, and there it was, laying innocently on the bar. So, I nicked it."

"You didn't!" I exclaim, examining the bottle in my hands. "She'll kill you for that, Sirius."

"She'll never know!" he declares, opening a bag of chips. "Did you know Fergus had a son?"

"Really?" I reply. "No, I didn't. You saw him?"

"Yeah!" James says. "It was his shift as waiter, but there was no one there so he sat and talked to us while we were waiting."

"When did he have a son?" I ask. "I didn't even know he was married."

"A few months ago," James explains. "His name is Stan."

"Stan…" I say, letting the name mull over in my mind. "It sounds right with him."

"Whassgoinon?" Remus suddenly pipes up groggily from his bed.

"We just got back with food," Sirius calls over to him. "For the party."

"From where?"

"Madam Rosmerta," Sirius explains, smirking. Remus doesn't reply, he just stands up and wanders over to where we have all the food laid out.

"Firewhiskey?" he asks, taking the bottle from me.

"Yeah, why not?" Sirius says, snatching it back from him.

"You're underage," Remus says, looking at him with annoyance. "And I'm a prefect."

"Remus, come on," Sirius says, hugging the bottle to his chest. "Don't be a killjoy."

"Give it to me," Remus says, extending his hand.

"Just one night, Remus! Just one bottle!" Sirius argues.

"Fine!" he exclaims. "But if you get drunk and get in trouble, I'm not covering your ass."

"I won't get in trouble, Moony," Sirius replies, setting the bottle on the bed once again.

"You better not," Remus warns, and goes back to flop on his bed.

"I'm gonna go put all this on a table," James says, shoving all the food back in the crate. "Wanna come help me, Wormtail?"

"Yeah, might as well," Peter replies, following James out the door and down the stairs. Sirius looks guiltily over at Remus, then turns to me and mouths: Is he gonna turn me in? I shake my head and mouth back: Of course not. He nods, looking pleased.

"I'm gonna go help James," he says. "Be down on time."

"Of course I will be," I say, chuckling. "I need to go get ready anyways."

"Get ready?"

"I'm not going to the party in sweatpants!"

"Oh…." he says. "Right. Well, see you!"

"I'll be down soon!"

The door closes, the sound ringing in my head. Suddenly, Remus speaks behind me.

"Are they gone?" he asks.

"Yeah," I tell him, turning around. "Are you tired or something?" I ask jokingly.

"More than," he admits.

"Are you going to be able to make it to the party?" I ask.

"Of course," he says, smiling weakly as I sit on the edge of his bed.

"Good," I say, kissing him lightly on the lips. "I'll come get you when I'm about to go down."

"Thanks, love," he says, letting his eyes drift closed again.

"You're welcome," I mutter, then quietly pad from the room. I jog down the stairs and back up the other stairs to my dorm. When I enter, I find Lily and Lydia sitting on Lily's bed, talking, and Scarlet and May getting ready in front of the mirror across the room.

"Hey," I say breathlessly, rushing over to my dresser to pull out some clothes.

"What are you running around for?" Lily asks, eyeing me curiously.

"Trying to get ready for the party," I answer, pulling off my baggy sweatpants.

"You're actually going?"

"Of course," I reply, running over to her bed. "Can you zip my dress?"

She does. "I'm not."

"Why?!" I ask, pulling on socks.

"Because Potter is throwing it," she replies, rolling her eyes. "You know how I feel about him."

"Of course I do," I mutter, rolling my eyes when my back is turned. "You're not even going to come down for a little bit?"

"No," she says with finality. "I don't want him all over me."

"I'll tell him not to bother you, if you want me to," I offer, smiling slightly.

"You don't have to," she says, looking down. "Thanks anyways."

"You're welcome," I say sadly, turning back to examine myself in the mirror. I scrunch up my face and turn my hair a bright, Christmas red. My hair goes wonderfully with my black dress, which falls to right above my knees. It's covered in black lace, intricate, yet somehow very rocker-chic. The top has two thick straps and a square neckline. My legs are covered in semi-transparent black tights, my feet clad in combat boots. I guess you could say it was a pretty odd outfit, but somehow, it looks fantastic in my eyes.

"You look beautiful, Tonks," Lily comments behind me. I turn around, beaming.

"Really?" I ask, blushing.

"Yeah," she says, getting up and coming to examine my dress. "Where did you get this?"

"Some Muggle store," I admit. "I got it over the summer."

"It's gorgeous," Lydia agrees, nodding her head.

"Thanks, guys," I say, pulling them both into a hug. "You can still come down if you want to!"

"Maybe," Lily says, smiling. "Maybe."

"See you guys later!" I call, prancing from the dorm.

"Have a good time!" they answer.

I prance from the room and over to Remus's dorm, filled with excitement. When I enter, he's still sleeping soundly on the bed, his face buried in his pillow; I chuckle. I consider leaving him there, to let him sleep for once, I but decide against it; he would want to go to the party with me. I quietly sneak over, so my mouth is right by his ear.

"Wake up, love. Time to go."


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If you guys asked any questions in reviews, well, I don't want to give anything away! My answer is, you'll see! I have a method to my madness! ;)

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