I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 68

"Love is a game that two can play and both win."-Eva Gabor


*Tonks's POV*

"Wake up, love. Time to go."

He sighs, then stirs, rolling onto his back to look up at me. He's smiling contently, his eyes staring hungrily into mine.

"Already?" he asks, his hand reaching up to caress my cheek.

"Yes, already," I say, chuckling. I place my hand over his, suppressing a smile. "James and Sirius will be wondering where we're at."

"I don't want to get up," he states, closing his eyes again.

"Come on, this is going to be fun," I coax. "There'll be dancing, and music, and food, and-"

"Just lay with me for a little bit, please?"

I stop and consider this for a moment. He looks so exhausted, and laying with him for a little while isn't a crime. I close my eyes and sigh.

"If you wish."

I lean over the edge of the bed and untie my combat boots, watching as they fall heavily to the floor with two THUMPs. I then turn and curl up next to Remus's warm body under the covers, my head resting on his chest.

"By the way, you look beautiful," he states, his eyes still closed.

"Thank you," I say, blushing. I sigh contently, nuzzling my face into his chest further, and closing my eyes. "You know, maybe this wasn't such a bad idea."

Before I know it, I've fallen headfirst into dreamland.


*Sirius's POV*

I was supposed to share the Firewhiskey with the party. Supposed to.

Okay, so maybe I drank half of it. Maybe three quarters. Okay, I drank it all. James had a few sips, and so did Scarlet, but I wouldn't share with anyone else who asked.

"Hey, can we have a go?" a short fourth year girl asks.

"No, go get your own," I mumble, taking another swig. The fiery liquid runs down my throat, burning it; it feels great. I laugh a hearty, drunken laugh at the underclassmen, who give me odd looks and slip away.

This is my first experience with alcohol, and my God, is it weird. I've never felt this… jolly before. Jolly, happy, excited, yet somehow sluggish and confused. My vision is slightly blurred, and I often miss my mouth when drinking.

"Pads!" James calls over the ruckus, milling over to my perch on the couch with a turkey leg. His eyes hone in on the bottle in my hand. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"Pads, you've almost finished the whole bottle!"

"It was a small bottle."

"No, it wasn't. How come you didn't share?! Asshole."

"Jamesie, it was just so good!"

"Next time we get Firewhiskey, I call at least half."

"Fine, Prongs," I say, chuckling. My chuckling soon turns into a giggling fit, and the giggling fit soon turns into a full on laughing attack. James looks down at me curiously.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I choke out. "Nothing whatsoever."

"Then what are you laughing at?"

"I dunno."

James raises an eyebrow and slips the bottle from my hand carefully. I let him take it and set it on the coffee table.

"I think it's time you went to bed," he says, looking down at me with a bemused expression.

"Jamesie, the party just started!"

"No, it didn't," he assures me. "It's been a few hours. Come on, we're going to bed."

"I'm not going, I haven't even shagged anyone yet!"

"Sirius," James rolls his eyes. "You're the only one who's wasted. You look a bit foolish."

"Do I?"


"Oh… Damn."

"Come on mate," James says, reaching over and helping me shakily to my feet. "Next time, we'll bring enough for the whole party, alright?"

"Fine," I mutter, James leading me to the spiral stairs. I hit my foot off a chair and swear loudly, drawing attention to myself. James looks around guiltily, trying to put on a winning smile. "Nothing to see here, mates."

"HAH. Black's drunk off his ass!" Dean Jackson calls from the crowd.

"Shut it, Jackson!" James calls, stopping at the foot of the stairs to yell back at Dean. "Oh, hey, I forgot to ask you how those TWENTY LAPS went?!"

"That random-ass punishment you made me do that one day?"


"Bloody fantastic."

"Great. Be ready for another forty when we get back from break, kay?"

Dean doesn't say anything, he just rolls his eyes and melts back into the crowd. James smirks in victory, then continues to help me up the stairs. We reach the 5th year boys dormitory, and push the door open slowly.

"Oi, what are you two doing in here?!" James exclaims, eyes landing on Remus and Tonks sleeping in Remus's bed.

"Oi, what are you doing waking me up?" Remus calls, mocking James as he and Tonks sit up.

"You guys missed half the party!" James says, leading me over to my bed and setting me down. I suddenly become nauseous and run to the bathroom to puke. Over my retching, I can hear Remus and James continue their conversation.

"What happened to him?" Remus asks.

"Eh, he got a tad drunk," James explains.

"A tad?"


"I warned him," Remus says.

"I can still hear you!" I call from the loo, wiping my mouth on my sleeve. I stagger up, regain my footing, and troop back into the dorm, flopping down face first on my bed.

"I think that's enough for him in one night," James says, slapping my calf. "Sleep tight, Padfoot."

"Party hard, Prongs."


*Remus's POV*

So this is what a party is supposed to look like.

I can't help but think this as we finally make it downstairs. Music blaring, students dancing, everyone having a good time. As soon as James reaches the foot of the stairs, he melts right back into the crazed crowd, leaving me and Tonks standing there, hand in hand, adjusting to this polar atmosphere of where we were ten minutes previous. My head still pounds like a drum, but Tonks seems eager to get into the thick of things

"Come on!" she calls, pulling me shakily out onto the dance floor. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree comes on, and she yells in excitement along with the other students. Still holding tightly to my hand, she starts dancing with the music. I can't help but smile and laugh at her happiness, and I, too, get carried away.

She grabs both of my hands and we start dancing together, running into other students, but not giving a damn. I let go of one of her hands and swing her to my right; she laughs and lets me whip her around. I pull her back in and wrap arms fully around her, then swing her to my right.

"You're such a fun dancer!" she exclaims as I pull her back in. As the music ends, I dip her so our noses are barely touching, then kiss her hard on the lips. Everyone screams and applauds as soon as the song finishes. I pull her up and wrap my arms around her once again as she laughs; bubbly, clear, euphoric. I plant a big, fat kiss on her cheek as another song starts up, this time, a popular rock song. She smiles excitedly, jumping up and down in time with the music, occasionally fist pumping, which makes me chuckle.

The night seems to stretch on forever, a never-ending blur of songs, dancing, and love. We exchange more kisses in this one night then ever before, simply for the fact that I can't help it, she's too beautiful. So alive and happy, just doing her thing without a care for what others think.

The last song of the night comes on, and I'm wholeheartedly disappointed. Students are starting to get tired and some wander off to bed without finishing off the night. The song is Holly Jolly Christmas, coincidently the same song James and Sirius's singing Christmas hats played a few years ago. I smile fondly at this memory as we start dancing again.

"Have a Holly, Jolly, Christmas! And as you walk down, the street!" she sings, her forehead against mine.

"Say heeeeellooo, to friends you know, and everyone you meet!" I finish, my arm wrapped around her waist, my other hand in hers. We bob along with the music, singing softly to one another.

"Thisssss Yeeeeeaaaar!" we finish the song together. I spin her, twirling her around and around, her dress a fan. Her combat boots get caught up, causing her to stumble a little. I steady her just as the song ends, planting another kiss on her full, red lips. Her face is flushed, eyes sparkling as she looks up at me.

"All this kissing tonight, Remus, eh?"

"I can't help it, my dear Nymphadora," I croon, leaning my forehead against hers; she beams.

"I'm not complaining," she says, laughing. She gets up on tiptoes and kisses me once again. Then, she breaks away, flitting over to where James sits with Peter and the Quidditch team, her hand still tightly wound with mine.

"Great party, James," she compliments, sitting on the arm of the couch he is occupying. I place my hands on her shoulders from behind.

"Thanks, Tonksie," he says. He looks a bit funny…

"Ugh, James you reek," Tonks says, waving her hand in front of her face. "Firewhiskey."

"I barely had any!" he argues.

"I can still smell it!" she says, rolling her eyes. "Your dorm is going to smell for weeks, especially because of Sirius."

"Yeah, yeah," James says, waving me off. "Just wait, you'll see."

"See what?"

"Forget it," he says, chuckling. "I'm going to bed. You?"

"Yeah, we should," Tonks says, looking expectantly up at me.

"Come on then," James says, getting up and biding goodnight to the team, Peter following. We traipse up the stairs and onto the landing, where we can look down and see the slowly emptying common room.

"Goodnight, love," I say, leaning down to kiss her for a final time.

"You're not having a sleepover?" James teases from halfway up the boy's staircase.

"Shut it, Prongs," I call, kissing her forehead. "I love you. Sleep tight."

"I love you more," she whispers, face against mine. Then, we break away and head to our own dorms, James chuckling all the way. When we enter the dorm, we find Sirius in the exact position as we left him earlier.

"The great lard," James mutters, chuckling.

"I'm exhausted," I say, yawning and stretching. "Bed time."

A little bit later, as I lay in my four-poster, I can't shake the image of her perfect, happy, glowing face from my mind. So beautiful, so flawless. And she's mine. She's something special, she is.


Hey guys! Happy Thanksgiving! :D (if you live in America)

So what do you guys think?! Please leave a review! (:

I was writing this while watching Deathly Hallows P2. I nearly cry every time I watch that movie. It's just that damn good. Now I'm watching P1. I watched it a little backwards ^.^

So, happy thanksgiving, and if you're wondering what I'm thankful for, it's all you guys! I'm so happy and thankful for all my reviewers and followers! (;

Pleaseee leave a review! :D


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