I Love You More than Myself Part One

Chapter 71

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters in it; I'm borrowing. Isn't that obvious? I'm using some from OotP this chapter, so… I thought I'd do a disclaimer.


"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"-Christopher Marlowe


*Tonks's POV*

"'Twas the night before O.W.L.s and all through the common room, students were scurrying, and most importantly worrying."

"Pads, you're a poet and you didn't know it," James chuckles, turning a page in his Charms textbook.

"It's true right?" Sirius says, flippantly tapping his wand off the top of his own book, laid across his lap. "Look at all this. It's a mad house."

He speaks the truth. Every table is filled with students, books, papers, quills, cheat sheets, etc. A few girls are crying in a corner, claiming they're 'never going to understand.' Dean Jackson looks a little too intense, sitting at a quiet table in the corner alone, sweating so much he could fill a bucket.

"Well," James suddenly announces, slamming his book. "I'm done. I'm gonna pass."

"No way, Prongs," Remus says, looking up from his work.

"Moony," he says, standing up and sliding his book under his arm. "I'm way more clever than you think I am."

"And humble, too," Remus retorts, snorting into the scroll he's working on; I chuckle as much as I can with all this stress. All of a sudden, we hear a bark-like laugh come from the couch where Sirius is seated. We all whip around to see him throw his hands over his mouth, his eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"I… I didn't mean-" he blurts out. James holds up a hand to silence him, laughing even harder.

"Pads-" he chokes out.

"Shut up, James!" he says, his cheeks turning slightly red. "I can't help it!"

"The ladies will love that laugh," James remarks, continuing his way to the dormitories. He unconsciously reaches up and rumples his coal-black hair.

"I swear to fucking God, Potter, if you intentionally mess up your hair one more time!" Sirius exclaims jokingly, laughing at his friend's recent attempts to look 'windswept.'

"Hey, Pads, cool it," he says, glancing around the common room. "Ladies love it." He continues his way to bed, his book tucked under his arm like a Quaffle.

I lean down and bang my head off my book, sighing. I feel a hand rub comfortingly up and down my back. "I have to do well," I mutter.

"It's alright, just take a deep breath," Remus croons. "You're going to be fine."

"Moony, come over here and coach me!" Sirius calls out jokingly.

"Not in your dreams," Remus replies, sitting back in his seat with a smirk to rival James's.


*A few days later*

O.W.L.s are as close to my personal hell as I can describe. A hot, sticky room filled with anxious students and teachers breathing down your neck. All you can hear is the scratching of quills and the rustle of papers. The test itself seems to go on forever, a never-ending scroll of questions and answers. Everyone's moral is very low as we end our fourth session of testing on Thursday.

I feel as if I've been working really hard on these tests, doing the best I possibly can. After all, this is my future. Every night is spent in front of the fire in the common room, studying for hours. I've been putting my heart and soul into this, and Defense Against the Dark Arts isn't an exception.

"Quills down, please!" Professor Flitwick squeaks from the head of the Great Hall. I sigh, looking down my completed essay on werewolves. When I initially read this question, I actually laughed out loud and got yelled at. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment. Accio!"

My scroll flies up the aisle and into poor, little Professor Flitwick's arms. Alas, hundreds of scrolls flying at him at once did not fare him well, and he's knocked off his feet. I can't help but suppress a chuckle as some students in the front help him up. I run my hands down my face and sigh deeply as we're told we're allowed to go. I get up, slowly packing my quill and ink into my bag and throwing it over my shoulder. Suddenly, Remus is by my side.

"Hey, love," he says, kissing me lightly on the cheek. "How'd it go?"

"I dunno," I admit, looking at my feet. "I think I did a decent job."

"Well," he says, grabbing my hand and kissing it. "I'm glad."

"Oi, lovebirds!" James calls over the clamor. "You coming?"

Remus rolls his eyes, entwines his fingers with mine, and leads me out of the Great Hall and into a sea of students pushing to get outside.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asks dauntingly, chuckling.

"Loved it," Remus says sarcastically. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James asks, placing his hands on his cheeks in mock concern. Everyone laughs heartily at this, but I just can't bring myself to.

"Think I did," he says, pondering his answer. He looks down at me mischievously, smiling. "One: He's sitting in my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin."

I let myself laugh freely at this joke. My boyfriend is often very quiet and mature, but when he gets into one of those moods, he's one of the funniest people I've ever met, and that's just another thing that makes me love him so much.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," Peter says, wiping sweat from his brow, looking upset. "But I couldn't think what else-"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" James asks incredulously, so shocked that he stops abruptly and trips a few Ravenclaw girls. Sirius grabs his sleeve and pulls him back into the flow. "You run round with a werewolf once a month-"

"Keep your voice down," Remus urges in a cutting undertone.

We finally make it out into the sunny, refreshing grounds. I take a deep breath of fresh air and I suddenly feel my heartbeat slow. Remus watches me as James and Sirius ramble on about how well they did on the exam.

"Feel better?" he asks, chuckling. I consider him for a moment, a small smile playing on my lips.

"Much better," I respond, wrapping my arm all the way around his, laying my head on his shoulder. We follow James, Sirius, and Peter to the shade under our favorite tree.

I glance over at our friends and see James playing with the Golden Snitch again, an annoying habit he's gotten into lately after he nicked it from Dean a few days ago. When I asked him why he was playing with it, he responded:

"It's a lady magnet."

I don't see how catching a Snitch just before it flies away justifies being a 'lady magnet,' but I let him do his thing. Remus and I lean up against the trunk of the beech tree, my head resting on his shoulder. He pulls out a book and begins to read.

I look around and notice practically the whole school is outside, enjoying the summer weather. Severus is a few trees away, his greasy nose stuck in an O.W.L. paper; Lily and Lydia are down by the water's edge, cooling their bare feet in the shallows; Aaron and his friends are across the lake, throwing around a Quaffle. The sun shines brightly overhead, making the Black Lake shine like sequins, the giant squid lazily sunning its tentacles.

I close my eyes and try to take a short nap. Every few minutes, I hear an 'ooh!' and some applause, which I can assume is Peter astonished by James's Quidditch skills. Suddenly, Sirius's loud, obnoxious voice breaks into my consciousness.

"Put that away, will you? Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."

I open my eyes and see James chuckling heartily at Sirius's comment; Peter is blushing madly, and looks ashamed of himself.

"If it bothers you," James says, begrudgingly putting the Snitch back into his pocket. I know if I would've asked him to stop, he would've told me to shove off.

"I'm bored," Sirius whines, picking at some blades of grass. "I wish it were the full moon."

I roll my eyes as Remus answers darkly. "You might."

Sirius gives him a guilty look as James chuckles.

"We've still got Transfiguration," Remus says, handing his book to Sirius. "If you're bored, you could test me. Here."

"I don't need to look at that rubbish," Sirius snorts, pushing the book back at him. "I know it all."

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot. Look who it is…" James whispers, pointing over at Severus, who is traipsing across the lawn, looking upset and disturbed, as always.

"Excellent," Sirius says, frozen like a dog about to pounce on and kill a rabbit. "Snivellus."

"Guys," I say, looking up at them with a really? look. "Come on, let him go today. We've almost finished a whole week of testing and I think-"

"All right, Snivellus?" James calls loudly as he and Sirius stand up, swaggering over to where Snape stands frozen at the calls of their voices.

"Okay, or you could ignore me, too!" I call, flopping back against the tree, rolling my eyes.

I glance over at Remus and see he's stopped reading. The funny thing is, he's still staring intently at his book as though he's reading.

"Rem?" I say, trying to get his attention. He immediately knows what I'm really asking.

"If I don't look, then I don't see. If I don't see, I don't witness it. If I don't witness it, I can't turn it in," he explains, peaking a glance over at me.

"That's ridiculous," I say, giving him a confused look. "You're a prefect-"

"I know," he says, letting the book fall between his legs and onto the lawn. "I just… can't."

"Why not?"

"They're the only friends I have, besides you. If I turned them in, they would know it was me. They would never speak to me again," he says, still keeping his eyes in any direction but to my right. I glance over at the scene, squinting at Snape on the ground, James's wand pointed at him.

"They wouldn't," I say.

"I can't risk it," he says, picking up his book again. "I'm a werewolf. We don't have friends."

"You have me," I say, giving him a small smile. He takes a glance and smiles back. All of a sudden, we hear Lily's screech echo across the grounds.

"Leave him ALONE!"

"Ooh, Lily joined the scene," I relay to Remus. "This isn't going to be pretty."

"What's going on?" he asks.

"I can't really hear it," I admit, straining to hear their conversation, but just picking up words like 'toerag.' I also hear a few spells and shouts from James and Lily.

"Are they using magic?" Remus asks, staring out across the Black Lake.

"Of course," I scoff, turning my attention back to the fight. All of a sudden, Snape is upside down, hanging in the air from some invisible thread.

"James is using his new favorite spell," I say, sighing. "It's getting worse by the minute."

"What's Lily doing?" he asks.

Suddenly, the whole scene freezes, and I hear the word 'Mudblood' shouted across the grounds. A few students in the gathered crowd 'oooooh.'

"I think Snape just called Lily a Mudblood," I say softly. "How dare he?!" I stand up and intend to march right over there to give him a piece of my mind.

"Tonks!" Remus exclaims, lashing out at my robes. "Don't."

"Why not?"

"I'd have to turn you in," he warns, looking at me with such intensity that I stop pulling from him. "I really don't want to."

"Fine," I huff, sitting back down. If it were anyone else, I would've still gone over and hexed Snape into next Tuesday. But, I couldn't do that to Remus; he really didn't want to have to get me in trouble. "But he'll get revenge for that, he will."

"As long as I'm not around," Remus says, chuckling. His face is back in his book as the crowd starts chanting something about pants.


Hey guys!

Did you like this one?! I felt as if I HAD to do this scene from my perspective. I feel as if it was original enough it was familiar, yet unique! Did I accomplish that, or were you bored out of your mind because you were reading what JKR had already written?

Anywho, I personally like this one! (: I can't wait to get into 6th year. For those of you looking for drama, here it comes!

Today, I actually wrote a "rough draft" (kind of) of what the final chapter of the story is going to be. Yanno, just to see where I have to go with this story, and also because it's been in my head for forever!

Just a little FYI, I cried like a baby while writing it. ;)

Alrighty guys, that's it! Have a lovely weekend! PLEASE REMEMBER TO LEAVE A REVIEW! :D


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