Needing To Let Go

When Will I Be Able To Sleep?

A/N: Gonna keep it short and sweet, thank you for reading my last chapter, and here is the next chapter of Needing to Let Go. Enjoy!

Previously on Needing To Let Go

Then Edward's expression and the fact that he wanted to say something else, but didn't, made things even more confusing. I just hoped that things would calm down and I would be able to cope with all these feelings, plus that Raven would soon talk to me about stuff other than school related.

Bella POV:

Well if I told you I slept good last night, or any night for the past couple of months, I would be lying. I know that babies cry, and that they can wake up in the middle of the night, but every few hours, seriously?! Don't get me wrong, I love little Bentley, and that him and Rosalie were now living with us, but sleep was my one true escape from a crappy day, and even my sleeping gets ruined. I got up and dressed then headed down for breakfast. I could smell the aroma of eggs and bacon being cooked on the stove. Jasper always did know his way around the kitchen, I remember when he first cooked a meal, mom gave him the choice of what to make; needless to say that I couldn't eat hamburgers for a week after

"Hey Bells, you're up early, usually you just grab a slice of toast on the way to school." Jasper said with a hint of concern. I usually sleep as much as I can until the last possible minute. I was about to give some lame-ass excuse, but Emmett came stomping in from outside.

"Whew, who knew doing all these farm chores wore ya out. I mean, yeah we helped mom and Trevor out a lot, but never had to do it on our own." Emmett said as he plopped down at the table. He still had his job helping out at the local feed store, but with the farm falling behind and I'm at school, and Jasper helping at the library every so often it fell to him to do some of the hard labor.

"Yeah, well I would've helped you drama king, but I needed my beauty sleep and plus I have a test to take." I said as I yawned bigger than I had intended. I always yawned bigger when I never got enough sleep; hopefully my brothers remained as clueless as I remember them being when I was younger.

Turns out I was right, or at least they didn't bring it up any. Just as Jasper started to serve breakfast Rosalie came down for breakfast, and, that crying holy terror, Bentley along with her. It also turns out that Bentley was starting to teethe, which was one of the few reasons he was up screaming during the night. I loved the little guy to death, but I desperately needed sleep.

I quickly ate my plate of food and kissed both brothers on their cheeks to say goodbye and waved to Rosalie and Bentley as I sprinted out the door to catch the bus. I may be a junior, but I didn't have money, neither did Jasper or Emmett, to buy a new or used car. Now, I could use mom or dad's cars, or even the old truck, wait, I forgot, the truck was totaled and since we couldn't get it fixed, it just sat out by the barn turning to rust.

That reminded me that things with Raven and Jackson were a little better, due in part of Emily and I conspiring to lock them in a supply closet during study hall to force them to actually talk to one another; thankfully, it worked and when we decided to open the closet we saw them in the middle of making up, well, rather making out is more like it; that was one of the few times I think I've ever seen Raven blush so much. I must also say that my feelings for Jackson, which I thought were developing into romantic feelings, turned out to be just deep kinship with him, meaning that I sympathized with, well in the fact that he had to support himself jobs to keep things going with his mom.

Oh, also, so happens that Jackson's mom finally entered a detox clinic that would help her get sober, and if I remember correctly they will also help her get in touch with a temp agency so that she can get a job and start working again. I couldn't even begin to imagine how happy I'm sure Jackson was to hear this news, except that the way he looked and acted you would've thought that nothing had changed. I kind of get it though, your mom is an alcoholic and spent her days in bed for months, he's worried that she'll have a relapse and things will go back to how they were.

Once on the bus I plopped down in the nearest empty seat. I glanced around and saw that neither Emily nor Jackson was on the bus yet, and then I remembered that they got on the bus after I did. Darn it, baby Bentley has got my brain all scrambled lately. I feel like I'm the one who had a baby. I decided to try and clear my head by taking a short nap before the bus pulled into the school.

I had just gotten relaxed and almost asleep when I felt the seat underneath me move abruptly. It surprised me to the point that I nearly yelped out loud. I jerked my head to my left and saw that it was Emily and she was all smiles and behind us I could see Jackson was seated by himself. Almost immediately Emily started talking a mile a minute, and in my sleep-deprived state I could only catch every few words. But I caught enough to catch the drift of what she was saying, apparently her and Kaleb's four-month anniversary is coming up, and she heard from some of her other friends that Kaleb was going to surprise her by taking out into the 'big city', as Kaleb called it, which actually meant that he was driving up to Dodge City. Seeing as how we lived in a small town in Kansas, Dodge City was our get away. (a/n: I may have said a different city, but I couldn't find it in my prev. chpts. So please go with it until I can find the correct one.)

"Bella, did you hear a word I said?" Emily asked somewhat annoyed. I was still out of it, and managed to mutter out a lame apology, and she was smart enough to see that I wasn't purposely ignoring her. Emily went on to ask what was wrong with me, but I just brushed it off and told her that I would tell her later. I changed the subject to that of Rosalie finally having her baby, and that it was a boy. Emily immediately squealed so high and loud that I had to cover my ears.

"Oh. My. God. When? Bella, you have to tell me everything! Rose swore she was having a boy, and I told her I thought it would be a boy! How is he doing?" Emily said rather fast, mushing every word together almost. I laughed and explained that he was ok, and that she decided to name him Bentley James Hale. Emily loved that name and asked if I thought Rose would bring the baby into work sometime. I told her I wasn't sure, but I bet if we asked she would be happy to show him off.

I decided to leave off the part where she was now moved in with us, not because I thought it was a bad idea, but that it wasn't my information to tell, if Rosalie brought it up, then fine, but I wasn't about to be the one to tell and end up in trouble.

After, what felt like hours, about fifteen more minutes we finally arrived at school and we spilled out of the bus and made our way into school. As I was walking with Emily and Jackson to meet up with Kaleb and Raven, I saw him, Edward, he was with his sister, Alice, and they were getting out of his car, the car that was painfully out of place compared to everyone else's. This was a small town, a lot of people who had their own cars were either junkers, pick-up trucks, or they were their parents' cars, but to have your own car that looked show room new, that was something that set you apart from the rest of the kids.

I attempted to pretend as if I hadn't seen him get out of his car, but it was too late, he smiled his damned crooked grin and I couldn't help but wave back at him like a bumbling idiot, and to make matters worse his sister saw and waved eagerly at me, and when I waved back she took this as a sign to run over and take me in the biggest, most uncomfortable hug ever and after I struggled to breathe she finally let go of me so that I could regain my breath. For a nearly five-foot tall girl, who not to mention was shorter than me by an inch or two, she was strangely strong.

"Hi Bella, if you didn't already know I'm Alice, and I know you already met my brother Edward, I'm just glad that you're ok, I mean Edward told me what happened during your Biology class. Is your finger ok?" Alice asked as she took my hand in hers and inspected it for herself before I could even form a response. I managed to mumble that I was ok, and that it was feeling better.

To be honest, I still had to keep it wrapped most of the time, not because it was bleeding or anything, but that if I ever caught a glance at it I would start to get queasy. I didn't like the sight of blood, not to mention I would ever be reminded that I had been an idiot and sliced my finger good during the dissection part of Biology.

"Well, I'm just glad that all you needed were stitches." Alice beamed as she clasped my hand between hers and smiled warmly. I just nodded and made a lame excuse that I needed to be getting to class, and then I remembered that she and I had the same first class, we both shared English, and I stopped in my tracks and laughed nervously.

"Bella, are you alright? You seem a bit on edge today, is it something I said?" Alice asked softly. Her face turned from her normal happy-go-lucky grin to sincere concern. I nodded and said that I was just tired and that I didn't get much sleep. I almost blabbed that silly Bentley kept me awake all night, but caught myself in time.

"Maybe Edward should walk with us to class, I mean you look dead on your feet, oop, sorry if that is a little too forward, but I don't want you passing out and hitting your head." Alice said, and I saw that Emily and Jackson shook their heads in agreement. I sighed in defeat and just gave in and agreed. Emily and Jackson went off to their class and I was left to walk with Edward and Alice to my English class. I couldn't help but steal glances at Edward as we walked. Last time I saw him he and I had bumped into each other on my way home the other day, and the fact that there was something that he wanted to say to me, but didn't ran through my head. I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't find my voice to do so, and just as I had finally managed to gather the courage, we had reached my class and Edward said a quick goodbye and left to get to his class.

I just sighed and trudged in and went to sit down in my normal seat.

I really needed to work on my timing.

A/N: So what did you think? Sorry if some of my information wasn't consistent from previous chapters, it's been awhile since I wrote a chapter for this story, and I tried to look back at my other chatpers, but didn't work out too well.

Once this story is finished I plan to go back and make everything consistent all the way through. So until then please bear with me. As for the schedule here it is: English (with Alice), History (was with Edward but now just Jackson), Study hall, lunch, Algebra, and Biology.

Hope this helps, and please help me out if you know what things aren't the same (but please be nice about it lol)

Again, please read and review! :)

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