Needing To Let Go

Is Today Over Yet?

A/N: So didn't get very many reviews for the last chapter, but I'm going to keep going, because there is still more to write and I hope that as I keep writing that I will gain my reviewers back lol. So this chapter will have some Bella and Edward action, along with some drama, what kind of story would it be if there wasn't any drama? Lol here is chapter 14! :)

Previously in Needing To Let Go

I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't find my voice to do so, and just as I had finally managed to gather the courage, we had reached my class and Edward said a quick goodbye and left to get to his class.

I just sighed and trudged in and went to sit down in my normal seat.

I really needed to work on my timing.

Bella POV:

Lunch finally came and none too soon, I was finally able to try and at least talk to Edward, but unfortunately before I got to him Heidi dug her claws in him and dragged him over to sit with her and her friends. I sighed and mentally pictured Heidi being struck by lightning, but of course I had to ruin it when I realized that she couldn't die, that would only lead to bad karma, and I had enough that already.

Need I be reminded daily that I am basically an orphan, both parents are dead, grandparents, on either side, don't want to take care of me, or can't handle the added responsibility of one. But I didn't want to be a bother to them, they would send the occasional postcard/greeting card to say hello, and I would reply back with the same. I always made sure to leave out the part where all three of us had jobs and were struggling just to pay the bills for the farm.

"Bella, hello, earth to Bella, are you still with us?" Emily said as she snapped her fingers in front of my face to get my attention. I shook my head to get back into focus and realize that I had been staring in Edward's direction.

"Yeah, I'm here, sorry must've zonked out on you. Been uber tired lately." I said as a yawn escaped from my lips. I knew I was 'too old' for naps, but I could see one in my future when I got home from school. I shuffled to the usual table all of us sat at and plopped down and just played around with my food, I hadn't been much in an eating mood lately, and I didn't want my friends looking suspicious so I made sure to make it look like I had at least eaten some of my food.

"Ooo, can I have your bag of Cheetos's if you ain't gonna eat them." Kaleb asked as he started to reach for them. I gladly gave them up and sighed. It wasn't that I was sick or anything, but I just didn't feel good. The best way I could describe how I was feeling, was just…blah. I've felt this way off and on for a while now, and some would say, "It's ok to feel this way Bella, you just lost your parents, and anyone in your shoes would feel that way." Well, I've got news for them, it's nothing like anyone could imagine. It constantly feels like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, there are times where I feel just fine, then out of nowhere I feel this overwhelming sadness and loss. I know the loss if from my parents, but it doesn't help the feelings I have.

I didn't want to admit it, but I think I would have to talk to a doctor about this.

Great Bella, now you sound like those cheesy pharmaceutical commercials for depression.

But I think it was to that point, I would have to go see a doctor about this, and it would have to be on my own, I didn't want anyone to know that I was even considering seeing a doctor. This is a small town, and even if one person finds out it seems like the entire town knows your dirty laundry.

Rrriiinnngg!

Lunch was over; I sighed and dumped my food in the trash and placed my tray down on the conveyer belt and followed my friends out of the cafeteria and trudged down the hallway to the main area all the students hang out at as they head to their next class.

I groaned softly to myself, my next class was Algebra, none of my friends were in it, and the teacher, ugh the teacher, she was one of those teachers who go through the lesson plan without stopping then at the very end she takes a few questions, but the quickly stops after those few questions and hands out the homework, which leaves you sitting there confused in silence and wary of asking for help since she was so in a hurry to finish the lesson.

Yeah, that was my teacher in a nutshell. She may be a decent human being, but teacher, not for this subject, not Algebra four, talking about something to do with something being infinite, and then when she had it on the board on a graph it formed a U-shape, then it was either positive or negative.

I gave up trying to understand the assignment and immediately started secretly working on my History homework and reading from chapter 13 to chapter 15 and doing all three sets of questions at the end of each chapter.

Oddly enough, the teacher could've cared less what we were doing, all she cared about was scrolling through her phone until the bell rang.

Yup, she was one of those teachers who taught the whole lesson for the day for the entire class period and left about ten minutes for us to work on it, and didn't even bother to see if we were working on it; other teachers, they would've jumped all over you if you even dared to do another class assignment during their class period.

I kept stealing glances at the clock, I swear, there were a few times I saw the clock move backwards instead of forwards.

Since when have I started dreading school? I mean I never was one of those kids who eat, drink and think about school, but this was ridiculous. I just wanted to get out of this classroom as fast as possible. The more I thought about it, the more I realized, even though Bentley keeps me up most nights, I really missed the little guy, I considered him part of our family.

I let out a sigh of relief when I heard the bell for the end of math class. I hated Algebra with a passion, it may come easy for some, but for me, well let's just say that I would be a lot better off if I just stuck with my English classes. English was my favorite subject, but then that may be because I was an avid reader, and I've often caught myself writing short stories in my notebooks during classes when time allowed.

As I weaved my way through all the other kids talking with friends on their way to their own last class of the day, I overheard one person mention something about how the local bar had recently installed a mechanical riding bull, and that they planned to go down and have a turn at riding on it. Then it got me thinking that maybe I could have a chance at riding it.

Get a grip Bella, you're a complete klutz on two feet, imagine what would happen if you were stupid enough to get on a mechanical bull jerking all around.

I let out a long exasperated sigh and agreed silently, that getting on that bull would be nothing but trouble. As I got to my locker to exchange out books for the next class I saw Emily bouncing up towards me with Kaleb hurrying close behind her. It was obvious that she had some exciting news to share, and by the look on Kaleb's face he was just as excited.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, you'll never guess who invited the entire school to their party, you'll never guess!" Emily managed to say between squealing and almost hyperventilating from excitement. It took me a few seconds to fully grasp what Emily had spewed out all at once, and once I had, I proceeded to ask her who, in fact, had invited the entire school to a party. It was apparently Edward Cullen and his sister who invited the entire school over to their house for a party. According to Emily, people have been saying that they have parties wherever they happen to live, as a way of making their presence known in town, and to get to know everyone in town. Kaleb added that it was Edward and Alice's turn to invite the guests, and that it was Alice's idea to invite everyone from school.

Just then the halls were filled static from the outdated PA system, then a voice came on over the speakers, and if I had to guess, it was Alice, and it was only because her voice was very noticeable and plus she almost sounded like a flock of birds chirping on a spring evening. Alice went on to announce exactly what Emily and Kaleb had just told me, that her and brother, Edward, were throwing a party this Friday night, and that everyone would be invited. Alice proceeded to give the address of their home and what time to show up. Plus, seeing as it was nearing Halloween costumes were to be worn.

Great, which meant all the costumes would go fast, and by the time I had a chance to make my way over to the local Wal-Mart, I would be left with a choice between the bottom half a cow costume and a lame excuse for a witch. I then remembered my costume I wore for handing out candy the past Halloweens. It wasn't exactly a costume; mainly just a colored wig then wore a black pointed hat.

I let out a sigh and realized that my lame attempt at costumes, even the ones for handing out candy were just ludicrous and I would have to do the most unthinkable thing. I would have to ask Raven for help with a costume. Raven absolutely loved Halloween, heck; it was her favorite holiday of all time. I would have to make sure to remind her that I wouldn't want to go as anything 'scary' but something more 'unlike me' than I already was, if that made any sense.

"Doesn't it sound exciting?! I'm going to have to rethink my whole costume idea now. Bella, you should come with me and Raven to go costume shopping, we've found this one place that has countless costumes to choose from, maybe we can get you a costume that will have Edward Cullen trailing after you like a helpless stray puppy." Emily cheered as she skipped around me in excitement. I sighed and just nodded my head, I wasn't sure how to say no, or that I even wanted to say no, but I knew that I would have to make sure it was ok with Jazz and Emmett that I go to the party.

"When would we go shopping? I mean, you and I got Delilah's to think about, and with Rose still on maternity leave Maude will lose her cool if either one of us doesn't show up for our shifts." It was true, Maude could have a temper if things weren't exactly how she had planned out, and if we deviated from her schedule, even a little, she would tear into us and go into the office and not speak a word to any of us for the rest of the shift. Now that I think about it, that was actually rather lucky for us when that would happen, that meant that we could sigh a breath of relief and not have to walk on eggshells around her.

Rrrriiinnngg!

That was the final bell, which meant that I was late for class, just my luck I suppose. I quickly said my goodbyes and bolted down the hallway to try and get to class before Mr. Redding got started teaching. Once I rounded the final corner to get to the homestretch I collided hard with something, correction, make that someone. When we collided my books went skidding along the floor, and I silently cursed to myself. This isn't what I needed right now, and now I knew for sure that I would be late, and possibly get a detention. Now, you're probably thinking, "How could she get a detention for being late to Biology?" Well, this would be my fourth tardy to class, and that I would end up written up for it.

"You're Bella right? We have the same English class, first period?" The voice said as I got to my knees and hurriedly scooped up my things. I glanced up and saw that it was Alice, Edward's sister, I had bumped into. I could feel my cheeks start to flush with embarrassment, and I couldn't find any words to form a complete sentence so I just nodded my head yes and smiled nicely. I couldn't help but stare at Alice; she looked amazing in what she was wearing. I bet she shopped in all those fancy malls with her mom and all the friends she made since she and her family moved to town.

Today, Alice was wearing a lilac graphic t-shirt that had a faded feel to it, the design resembled the Eiffel tower, then some sort of writing over it. I wasn't looking close enough to be sure. She was also wearing a jean skirt that came just above the knees and had on leggings underneath her skirt that matched her shirt. Alice looked very…popular. But the vibe I was getting was the complete opposite. Usually the popular kids in school make an extra effort to avoid me like the plague.

"I knew it; you're on your way to Biology right? Edward has that with you. Hey, maybe I should walk with you to class. I can explain to Mr. Redding that it was completely my fault, that way you won't get in trouble." Alice said as she picked up my Biology book off the floor and handed it back to me. I smiled and nodded. I tried to tell her that she didn't have to do that for me, but Alice wouldn't have any of it. I just sighed and gave in. She went on to say that I was to think of it as her being friendly.

"You're coming to my party aren't you Bella, because I know that Edward would be happy to have you there." Alice said with a cheeky grin. I sighed and tried to think up an excuse on the fly, but nothing would come to mind. We were right outside the room, and could hear that Mr. Redding had already started teaching. The 'Izzy' inside of me wanted to take off running and skip class, but I couldn't do that with Alice standing right here. I swallowed the lump in my throat and knocked on the door, when the teacher asked us to come in; I sighed and opened the door.

"Well, I see that you managed to grace us with your presence again Ms. Swan, you do know that this is your fourth tardy don't you?" I could tell that Mr. Redding secretly was enjoying humiliating me in front of the other kids in class. All the teachers liked doing that I think; it was a way to make an example of us for the others of what not to do.

"No sir, it was completely my fault, I had accidentally bumped into Bella and knocked all of her books out of her hand." Alice said almost too sweetly. I couldn't help but laugh to myself at how stunned Mr. Redding looked when he heard Alice's explanation. Mr. Redding is a stickler for attendance and the fact that Alice was able to charm the pants off of him, and get me out of trouble was nothing shorter than a miracle.

Class went on as normal, boring lecture followed by boring lab work. Edward was oddly silent next to me. He didn't even try to bring up what happened last time we saw each other, or what was going on with me and his sister. I sighed and debated with myself whether or not to bring it up to him. I never was good at talking to the opposite sex, boys, but then I talked to Kaleb and Jackson just fine. I guess it was just that I kind of liked Edward.

There were plenty of times I could've just blurted something out, but then there would be the risk of getting in trouble for talking during class. Because lord knows that Mr. Redding was itching to get me on something since he wasn't able to get me on being late to his class again.

"So, since when do you spend time with my sister?" Edward whispered to me as we took turns looking into the microscope at the different cell phases on a piece of an onion. From what I could gather by the tone in his voice he sounded more curious than irritated. I shrugged it off and casually explained what happened and that she decided to cover for me.

"Well, you better be careful, now that she did a favor for you she may end up wanting one in return." Edward said with his stupid crooked grin that made me weak at the knees. I even felt my breathing get caught in my throat at that exact moment too. Something about him made me all giddy and girly, things that I was neither. "But don't worry, she'll just probably ask you to go shopping with her, or just come over for dress up, or as she likes to call it 'modeling her collection'. Me, well I think it is just a fancy way of saying 'dress up'." Edward said with a chuckle. I couldn't help but smile back at him. Alice didn't seem all that bad, but I really wasn't one to get all dressed up for things, just give me jeans and a t shirt and I'd be just fine.

To say that I was nervous about this party this Friday was an understatement, especially now that I knew that Alice wanted me to come, and that I would have to have a spectacular costume to impress her. Boy, I just hoped that I didn't make a complete idiot out of myself there.

A/N: Hello all, thank you for bearing with me in updating this story, and thank you to all who have reviewed and read this story, it means a lot to me. Plus, I think I am to the point, where I may need a beta for this story. My writing is ok, but I tend to have a lot of typo's and inconsistencies that I haven't been able to catch. If you or anyone that you know is a beta, and is willing to overhaul this story, please let me know! :)

Thank you again and please keep reading and reviewing! :)

P.S. what do you think Bella should go as for the costume party she's going to? (Which will be in the next chapter btw) ;)

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