Needing To Let Go

Coming Home to Disaster

A/N: Thank you for your reviews and alerts! I also would like to thank everyone for bearing with me while I go back and quickly rewrite some of the previous chapters. Now without further ado here is the next chapter.

They were gone.

My mom and dad were gone.

Nothing I could do would change that. I woke up and for a split second I thought I could smell breakfast cooking, and then it all came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. Mom and dad weren't coming home; they died in a car crash. God, why did it have to be so hard? I mean, why was it so hard for me to accept that they were dead? Why was I still hoping that they were still alive?

Because you're going through the stages of grief Bella, it's ok to be in denial right now.

I got up from my parents bed and looked at the clock.

10:00am?

God, I was going to be late to school! I panicked and ran across the hall and collided with a hard wall and stumbled back a few steps. In front of me stood a woman with sympathy in her eyes; I wasn't sure how but I knew her from somewhere. Then I remembered where I knew her from. She was the wife of Mike's oldest son, Jack.

"Easy sweetheart, word gets around fast in a small town, and plus my father-in-law had me call your school. You don't have to go to school today. You can stay in bed all day if you like."

"But what about the –"

"Don't worry about the chores around the farm today Bella, Jack and Randall already took care of it this morning. Now go on back to bed; I'll finish breakfast and come wake you up ok sweetheart." I let out a sigh and shrugged it off. I told her that I was wide awake, and that I couldn't possibly go back to sleep now anyway. The woman, whose name I remembered now was Heather, nodded and walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

I trudged across the hall and into my room. I shut and locked the door behind me. I let out a sigh and looked around. Everywhere I looked I saw my mom and dad. This was going to be harder than I thought; coming to terms with it at least. One of the perks to this room was that it connected directly to the upstairs bathroom. I made sure to lock the hallway door and proceeded to take a shower.

Once I was dressed in a t shirt and jeans I sat down on my bed to put on my socks and shoes. I headed down the stairs to the kitchen when I heard the sound of bacon sizzling in a skillet on the stove. I just let out a deep breath and grabbed my jacket that was hanging on a hook by the backdoor, and headed outside to check the horses and say hi to Rainbow. She was probably getting restless from not being ridden or groomed at all yesterday. I needed something new and exciting in my life right now. When I got outside I couldn't help but feel a shiver run down my spine. It was oddly cold for a late September morning.

After I checked on the other horses I walked over to Rainbow's stall and saw that she was impatiently waiting for me come to her stall. "Hi there girl, did you miss me?" I was met with a loud neigh and her stomping her hoof. "I'll take that as a yes." I said as I went to go get her blanket and saddle. When I went over to grab Rainbow's things I saw an old picture of mom and dad at a rodeo hanging up on the wall. That's where they met; dad was next up in the roster when mom came and wished him good luck. Apparently a friend of mom's at the time dared her to go over and talk to him; not one to back down from a dare, she walked over wished him good luck, and even gave him a quick kiss before heading back to the grandstands. Ever since then, they were attached at the hip and did everything together.

I put Rainbow's saddle on the fence and went back to get her. When I opened her stall I saw a note written in Mom's handwriting hanging on a nail on the inside of Rainbow's stall door.

Bella,Dad and I will probably be home late.Feel free to ride Rainbow as long as you want to; just make sure your homework's done.Love you bunches,

-Mom

I could feel the tears start to fall down my cheeks as I read the note over and over in my head, but I willed myself to stop. I got Rainbow's harness and gently put it on her and tied the lead rope to it and walked her out to the corral. I tied her to the post and started to put the blanket on her, and just as I had it all straight with no wrinkles in it she shook her head, making the blanket slide off. I groaned as I saw the blanket fall too quickly for me to grab. It landed right in the middle of the muddy puddle and was immediately soaked with the muddy water.

I stomped my foot and went back into the stable to find another, but then I remembered that my dad had mentioned that he had been meaning to buy newer blankets. I also remember him throwing the old ones away in this past Tuesday's trash.

"Looking for this Bells?"

I knew that voice, but it couldn't be could it? He wasn't supposed to be home until at least fall break. Then I remembered what's happened and that I really didn't care; I was just glad that he was really home. I needed my brother so badly right now. I turned to see that it was, in fact, Jasper standing there holding the other decent blanket dad had managed to keep along with the now muddy one. I couldn't help myself and leaped into his arms. I always went to him when I was upset, he had an uncanny way of making me feel so much better when I was around him. He always knew what to say to comfort me, when mom couldn't.

"I missed you so much Jasper! I missed you." I started chanting quietly to myself quietly. I was trying to convince myself.

"Bells, I heard about it yesterday and took the first flight out of Chicago. I still can't believe that they're really gone. Jeremy Shepherd's mom called and told me; remember him, he's the junior I tutored in between all of my A.P. classes. I still remember this one time –"

"It's ok to not be the 'ok' of the family right now Jazz; I miss them like crazy too. I'm still hoping this whole thing is one bad dream and I'm going to wake up and we'll all laugh about it at breakfast." I started sobbing again. This time was different though, I had my brother with me. I just wished that both of my brothers were here right now. I could use some of Emmett's weird sense of humor right about now.

"Hey now, don't go get all soft on my now Jazzy. You were just starting to outgrow your 'softie' status." I jumped at the sudden loud voice and peeked over Jasper's shoulder. It was my other brother, Emmett. "A buddy of mine called me about mom and dad Bells, don't worry about it; I know you would've called us eventually. That's one thing I don't miss about this town, everybody here knows everyone and their business."

Jasper groaned and rolled his eyes. "So are you going to ride Rainbow or not? If not then I may just have to make this perfectly dry blanket just disappear." I snatched it from his hands before he could toss it to Emmett, who would definitely ruin it.

"Nice try Jazz, but I've learned all of your tricks. I'm not the little girl jumping up and down begging Emmett to give back her stuffed pink monkey."

"Oh yeah, I remember that stuffed toy. It was very entertaining to see your cheeks redden with frustration. God, I remember one of those times Trevor, dad, smacked the back of my head so hard I still swear I saw stars for a few seconds." We all started laughing.

After that we all started talking about our favorite mom and dad stories we could think of in that moment. Right here, right now, was the first time I didn't want to curl up in a ball and sob until I couldn't cry anymore.

"Hey if I remember right I think dad may have ordered new blankets. Maybe all three of us could go riding. That is if you city boys still remember how to ride." I say with a wink. I smirk and hurry off to see if the blankets had, in fact, been shipped but not yet opened.

"I'll have you know I still know my way around a horse Bells, and I'm sure I could ride circles around you and Rainbow." Emmett yelled after me. I rolled my eyes. I knew that he hadn't ridden a horse since he started playing football in high school. He would be very rusty. Jasper, on the other hand, he rode more than Emmett did, but nowhere near as much as I did. I would have those two beat.

Finally after searching through the stable I found a small package unopened on dad's workbench. I ran my hand across the table top and came across a to-do list that he had come up with of what all needed fixing up around the farm. Tears once again fought their way towards the surface, but I brushed them off and grabbed the package and took off back towards Jasper and Emmett who had now started arguing over something to do with who was the better rider between the two of them.

I loved my brothers, even if they drove me completely batty sometimes.

It was nice that we were all together again. I just wish it was under better circumstances. Something also came to me. We were always close; Jasper, Emmett and I, but this tragedy brought us closer than ever.

A/N: Not much to say other than thank you again for reading and I hope you enjoy this story and please remember to review and tell me your thoughts!

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