Needing To Let Go

In Need of a Job

A/N: so I am finally able to update, sorry I haven't updated in forever. I haven't had time to upload on a computer, and when I find time I am nowhere near a computer with internet access lol. But that aside here is the next chapter of "Needing To Let Go"

Previously on "Needing To Let go":

"I gazed out the window and couldn't help but feel happy! After all this time I was sincerely happy, but the only catch was that the source of my happiness was already happy with someone else. This filled my mind as we drove back home."

Bella POV:

"Bella what the hell were you thinking?"

"Yeah! You could've gotten hurt, or worse thrown in jail!"

Both Jasper and I looked at Emmett with confusion, but we let it slide, because we knew what Emmett was getting at.

"I was thinking I wanted to have fun and hang out with my friends, since when was that a crime?"

"Since the fact that you were breaking and entering onto private property, that makes it a crime! What the hell is wrong with you? You're smarter than this Bella!"

I was getting so annoyed with Jasper. I mean he has no idea what I'm going through! Yea, he lost mom, but I was in town and just saw them that morning they died. I was the last one to see them alive, and I hated being here, because everything in this house reminds me of them.

"Maybe I don't want to be "smarter" maybe I just want to have fun and be a normal growing teenager!" I screamed as I stormed up the stairs. I heard both of my brothers yelling to get my attention, but I just kept on walking. I was too angry to say anything to them, mainly because I was afraid I'd say something I would later regret.

After I got to my room I plopped down on the bed and checked my phone for any messages, but there weren't any at the moment.

'bleep! Bloop!'

That was my instant messenger letting me know that I had an instant message on my laptop. I let out a sigh and slowly trudged over and slouched back in my chair. I opened the laptop lid and saw it was a message from Emily. Another 'bleep' sounded and another smaller box was an invitation to join a group chat.

I clicked to accept it and saw that all my friends were online.

loves_wolves_101: hey bells! U in trouble? Raven and I both got grounded. Hvn't hrd from the guyz yet…

clumzeeklutz95: so far im not grounded…hw long u grounded for em?

loves_wolves_101: moms says im grounded for a month

artistic _mind: lucky I got grounded for a month AND have to help my mom out at the store….fml -_-''

tv_junkie_4_life: awe don't be that way rae ;) least you get to leave the house…i'm grounded for a month and only allowed to go to school and work but that's it.

silenthunk0645: wow guess me and bella are the only ones that aren't grounded XP …

I felt bad for Jackson, I mean probably the reason he wasn't grounded was the fact that his mom is too drunk and didn't know that we all got in trouble with the police. I kind of envied him. That meant he would never ever get into trouble, but with that Jackson had to fend for himself. His mom uses the child support checks to go buy her alcohol every week. Jackson also had to have two jobs. The jobs were so he could pay the bills and buy the groceries to keep the fridge stocked.

Oddly enough no one else knows or has even figured it out yet, besides me. Not even Raven, Emily, or Kaleb found out about it. I only found out by accident. He's been sick for the past couple of days, and with his two jobs I've offered to give him his homework whenever he was out sick.

clumzeeklutz95: yea that's just cause we are the favorites :P

loves_wolves_101: har har izz…well I g2g…the mom wants me to help feed the twins

artistic_mind: yea I getter get off here too..ttyl guys…love ya Jackson 3 hope you feel better soon babe!

They all logged off, but Jackson still appeared 'online' to me.

silenthunk0645: …you still online Bells?...

I wanted to ignore his question because I was afraid I might say something that would embarrass me or I would accidentally confess my attraction to him.

But my fingers betrayed me…

clumzeeklutz95: yup im still here…

silenthunk0645: cool..i wanted to say thanks for not "blabbing to the guys about the situation with my mom…

clumzeeklutz95: yw….why don't you tell someone? I mean we're sixteen…you shouldn't have to work two jobs….

silenthunk0645: …I don't say anything cuz its no one else's business but my own izzy….

Wow…he must've been really mad. He hasn't called me 'Izzy' for awhile now. I got used to Jackson calling me by my real name.

clumzeeklutz95: ok….sorry…

silenthunk0645: *sigh* bells I know you mean well, but I can handle things on my own…i've been doing this since I was thirteen…

I physically gasped when I reread Jackson's reply

"is he serious?"

clumzeeklutz95: wow…but I thought the minimum age for work is 16….

silenthunk0645: I have an uncle that let me work odd jobs for him around his store nothing major :\

clumzeeklutz95: wow…but working 2 jobs has got to get hard to handle…how do you manage it?

silenthunk0645: very strict work scheds for each job..that's also why I'm barely passing my classes…

Wow, I didn't know he was having trouble in school to the point where he might flunk his classes. I also started to wonder why he started sharing all of this information with me. I didn't mind it, except the fact that I was the only one who knew about all of this, and I couldn't tell a living soul.

clumzeeklutz95: not 2 sound rude…but why are you telling me all of this? O.o

silenthunk0645: *sigh* well you found out on your own…I guess its cuz I have someone to talk to about this…plus I know you won't tell anyone else….

I gulped a few times. I wasn't sure if I could handle all of that responsibility, but all if a sudden "Izzy" wanted to keep the secret and keep the friend, but then "Bella" wanted to help him by getting him out of the home by telling someone, but if I did that, then I might lose a very close friend. I let out a sigh, I knew what I had to say…

clumzeeklutz:95: yeah, you can trust me Jackson…your secret is safe with me.

silenthunk0645: awesome! You're the best Bells! :D …well g2g gotta work tomorrow…see you tomorrow

He logged off and I felt even more stress. "Izzy" had won and I guess it was mainly because I didn't want to risk the friendship I had.

I signed off the messenger and got ready for bed. I checked the clock and saw that it was nearly midnight. I started my shower and after I finished I went to go get changed into a fresh t shirt and my underwear and shorts I normally wear around the house. When I went downstairs I heard my brothers arguing over something from the kitchen. I saw that it was nearly midnight; why were they still awake? I quietly made my way to the doorway of the kitchen to try and figure out what they were arguing over.

"Jazz, we're behind on our bills and the loan payment for the barn Trevor and mom built for the horse boarding business they started. What are we going to do? I mean, which bill is most important and needs to be paid on time this time?"

What's going on?

I mean, I know that Emmett and Jasper both got jobs to help pay for the farm and the house payments. I mean Charlie even lent them some money to help pay the payments that were overdue a month. There was only one solution that I could think of that may help this dreadful situation; I would have to get a job. I know that my mom and dad both didn't want me to have to worry about work along with schoolwork, but I didn't want to lose the only connection I had to mom and dad to the bank.

I took a deep breath and walked confidently into the kitchen.

"Jasper, Emmett, I know that mom and dad didn't want me to do this, but I can't let us lose the house and have to go live with grandma, I'm going to look for a job after school tomorrow." I said calmly, even though I was anything BUT calm at the moment, it took everything inside me to maintain my cool.

"Bella, you don't need to get a job, we're doing fine and won't lose the farm and have to move to grandmas, ok." Jasper said. If I hadn't already heard what I had heard I would've agreed and left it at that, but since I did in fact hear what I did, I knew that he was just trying to downplay how much trouble we were really in.

"No! Jazz, I heard you and Em talking, and I don't want us to lose the house. Plus it's not like I'm asking you to let me get a tattoo, I'm asking, no I'm telling you, that I'm going job hunting tomorrow after school." I said straight forward. I was tired of being treated as a child, I was nearly seventeen, and closer to becoming a young adult.

"Wow, who would've thought that our baby sister would stand up to us and grow a pair." Emmett said as he nudged Jasper's side with his elbow. I smirked at them both, mainly because I was able to stand up for myself and actually speak my mind. I almost cried then, because I sounded just like mom does when she was telling dad what she wanted and that that's how it was going to be. Why did they have to be gone? Why did they have to die? Why do I have to miss them so much?

I let out a sigh. "Fine, looks like I won't be able to change your mind anyway Bells. Just make sure you find a job that you like and that pays halfway decent."

"Don't take any wooden nickels…what's a wooden nickel anyway?" Emmett asked confused. Jasper and I couldn't help but laugh at Emmett's expense. He was really smart, but Emmett did tend to be oblivious to what he's said at times.

"You better get some sleep Bella, you have school in the morning." Jasper said. I shrugged and gave them both a quick hug and headed back up to bed and as usual I had trouble staying asleep.

x-X-x-X-x

"Wow, so you've actually been 'allowed' to join the working force like a normal teenager Izz?" Raven asked sarcastically while grinning to show that she was being her playful self.

"Yay Bella! You should apply at Delilah's diner! We're hiring there, plus we're always hiring waitresses there." I smiled big, Emily worked at the diner, but I wonder why they're always hiring waitresses.

"They're always hiring waitresses because the pay is so lousy and the manager there is a rude ass." Raven said in a monotone. I had almost forgotten that tiny detail, but I was too desperate to care. I wasn't about to let my home go to someone else, and I wasn't about to even think of losing Rainbow. My horse means everything to me. She is practically the last thing that I have that reminds me of my mom and dad.

"Well, there's that tiny detail, but the pay is awesome! The tips are pretty good too." Emily said encouragingly.

"Thanks Emmy, I might have to take you up on that offer." I said with a huge grin on my face. Who would've thought that I would find a job opening so quick? Well, I hadn't really applied yet or been offered the job, so I had to control myself. I didn't want to go and jinx myself.

Just then the school bell rang, we all slowly made our way inside the building to the same 'ol classes, in the same boring classrooms, and try not to worry about the impending possibility that I may end up losing the last familiar thing I have that reminds me of my mom and dad. I know I am acting, some may say childish, but I say that I'm only sixteen, you're suppose to have your parents pass on when you're in your late forties, early fifties, not when you're still in high school.

But enough of depressive thoughts, I decided to go to my locker and get my books that I would need, and that would be my history book. Guess that was the upside, I liked history, plus I was pretty good at it as well. Just as I shut my locker door I started to walk towards class, but bumped into something hard and, being the klutz that I am, I fell back onto my bottom. This, of course, caused my books to go sliding across the floor.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know I was standing so close, I'm actually looking for the history department." I looked up from where I had fallen, and saw a boy, no, a god with his hand stretched out to me. I gladly took it and he helped me up.

"Again, I'm so sorry for knocking you down. My name's Edward Cullen; my family and I recently moved here and this is my first day here. Do you think you could help me?" I blinked a few times. I couldn't help but stare into his deep emerald eyes. Oh and his bronze-colored hair was so magical. It took all I had not to run my own fingers though it's lusciousness.

"Uh…yea, I can…let me see your schedule." I leaned over his shoulder to glance at his class list. He smelled of that new scent of Axe cologne. God, and to think I thought those commercials were exaggerating when they wanted to rip off the guys' clothing. I saw that he did in fact have history, American History, the same classroom as me even. "Looks like I have American History with you, you can follow me and we can walk together..er…if you want.." Lord, this guy had me all frazzled and tongue-tied. I never felt this way, not even around Jackson, who I thought I had a crush on, now I wasn't so sure about that at the moment.

"No, I mean, yes I would like that a lot. Go ahead and lead the way…er…sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Isabella…well I like to be called Bella; Isabella is too formal for me. Well we better get going so we aren't late for your first day at school." I couldn't help but let out a giggle. I wanted to smack myself, I never every act this giddy, not even when I was growing up. I didn't like how Edward made me feel around him, but there was something about him that kept me coming back to him.

So instead of dwelling on everything Edward, I decided to show him a quick tour on our way to class. That's when I saw my friends about to head out to our normal spot where we ditch our first period. I wasn't sure if I should go ahead and show him to class like 'Bella' would, or if I should be like 'Izzy' and point him in the right direction and make an excuse to leave him and catch up with my friends. I mean, this guy was very easy on the eyes, but for all I knew he could be gay, taken, or all of the above. It didn't matter anyway, I'm sure he wouldn't go for a girl like me. I sighed, I decided to let 'Izzy' win and pointed Edward in the right direction.

"You go down this hallway, and it's the second classroom on your right. I have to go to the restroom, but I'll catch up with you soon." I waved and left before he could try and ask me any questions. I walked in the door to the restrooms and peeked out to make sure he kept on walking to his class. Once I was sure he was gone I quickly snuck out the side exit my friends had taken few minutes earlier.

"So, I see Izzy found herself some new arm candy." Raven said with a playful wink.

"Who knew Izzy liked the pale quiet types." Kaleb said teasingly.

"You two looked cute together Izzy." Emily said with a smile.

"Ok, enough teasing Bella, sides it's up to her who she likes, so if she goes for the silent brooding types, then so be it." Jackson said with a playful grin. I couldn't help but go weak at the knees at how gorgeous his smile made him.

"Thanks Jackson…so who's supplying the cigarettes this morning?" I said to the group. Even though secretly, I hated the smell and aftertaste those cancer sticks gave me. Raven held up her pack and shook it to show she had plenty to go around. As the box was passed around I looked around, making sure no one would see us, seeing as this school was one of many that smoking wasn't allowed on school grounds, and no one was around who would care. Then I saw a familiar face looking out the window looking back at me.

I looked closer and saw that it was in fact Edward. He had a sour expression on his face, it reminded me of how my mom and dad would look at me if I did something that they weren't exactly happy with. I let out a harsh sigh and turned away. I mean, who does he think he is? He doesn't know me, so he doesn't have the right to judge me. As I took in another puff of the cigarette I resisted the urge to cough it all out. I mean, even 'goody goody' Emily was able to keep the disgusting exhaust from these disgusting things down.

"So, who's up for the diner after school? I mean I know most of us are grounded, but I don't think they'd be too upset if we grab a bite to eat before we head back to our prison cells, they call our rooms." Raven said with a chuckle. This of course resulted in all of us laughing. We sighed and decided to put out our cigarettes and slowly made our way back to class and come up with a lame excuse as to why we were late to our first class of the day. Some teachers had suspicions of their own, and made them known, but others may have known but kept them quiet. We secretly appreciated those kinds of teachers, but of course we wouldn't ever let them know that, because then sneaking out would no longer be any fun. 'Izzy' loved sneaking out, but then 'Bella' was starting to get a little uncomfortable with the whole idea.

As I slowly made my way back to history class I could hear Mr. Henry going into his normal speech about "…what would've the United States looked like, as well as been, if the Native Americans had won the war?"

I couldn't help but laugh. Every semester kids would mock him after that speech for the next few weeks. Now I would be one of those kids as well. I had reached the door to his classroom and almost was too nervous to knock. I let out a long sigh and knocked on the door and opened it once I heard a muffled 'come in' from inside. There was a cool breeze of air that was caused from opening the door.

"Well Ms Swan, nice of you to finally join us. Take your seat in the empty desk in the back."

A/N: Well what did you think? So sorry for taking forever to update, I've been sick/working/looking for work/ then battling the urge to even type/finish an awesome chapter for my stories to give to all of you lovely readers :) I love hearing from you and I love your input.

Now, for some who may or may not follow the whole 'Izzy'/'Bella' thing It's basically Bella trying to live up to what she thinks her nickname would do, and being her regular self. Hope that cleared it up for you and I look forward to hearing your reviews!

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