Mad World



End of Summer


We will be leaving Turkey soon. My informants told me that Itori all the way in America with Sakura. They got the closet to New York. It’s going to take a while for us to get out of Europe all that way to America. Jessie doesn’t mind it. She just wants to stay by me. I’ve given up on pushing her away at this point. She won’t listen either way.

There is one place that I can get away for myself once in a while.

“We’re leaving Turkey in morning,” I said, sitting on the hotel bed.

“And go where?” Jessie asked.

“Further west,” I said. “I haven’t decided exactly where.”

“Hm,” she said. I stood up and walked over to the door.

“Where are you going now?” Jessie asked.

“Out,” I said.

“When will you back?” she asked.

“Morning,” I said. I walked out of the door before she could ask anymore questions. I still don’t think she’ll understand me going to Purgatory for sex.

I walked up to the glass of an abandoned night club. I breathed onto the surface and wrote down “252-861-2256-18”. This number is universally no matter where I go. Part of me hopes that it isn’t. I know why I keep doing this, but I wish that I can stop. The portal opened up and walked through.

I have a date tonight.

Miiko looked up at the front desk. “Welcome back, Mikado-san!” I kind of waved at her as I cringed. She blinked at me with a strange look on her face.

“What the matter?” she asked. I shook my head. Miiko gave me a look of sympathy.

“We are here for you,” she said. I pressed my lips together. She is right. I know she’s right. But still…

Miiko took my hand and smiled. “It will be okay,” her eyes said. I wanted to believe her so badly. I pulled my hand away instead.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Who are you seeing tonight?” Miiko asked. My eyes shifted away from her.

“Oh…” she said. “You remember the room he’s in?” I nodded once. Miiko pressed her lips together as she turned to her wall of keys. Her skinny finger ran in circles trying to find the right key.

“Let’s see…” Miiko said. “Which one is it? Which one? Which one? Ah, here it is.” She rested on key number 537. She turned and handed it to me.

“Here you are,” Miiko said. “Enjoy your night.” I cringed as I took the key. I bowed my head and walked over to the dark gold elevator.

I stand inside alone in my thoughts on the ride up. I need to stop doing this. But, something about him reminds of Kida-kun in a way. I miss my best friend. He and the other three players of that sick game are still trapped within the Woman in Red’s body. That bastard Kitano manipulated Masaomi into agreeing to become player into that stupid game. They killed Saki to put him in a vulnerable place. He wasn’t thinking clearly. Kadota and Rokujo tried to talk some sense into him. Kitano, Mayfair-san, and Etsuko got to him in the end.

Thoughts like this just make me so mad. I closed my eyes and breathed in. The doors opened by the time I calmed down. I was used to the heavy cinnamon perfume by now. The quiet still gets to me though.

I walked up to Room 537 and put my ear to the door. Ax expected, I heard the faint sounds of rustling inside. He knew that I’m here. I knocked on the door.

“Enter,” a feminine sounding man said. I pulled out my key and unlocked the door.

Candles lit up the room. It felt like I stepped back into a Japanese in during the federal era. Most of the furniture in the room was covered up with a white cloth. The room looked like it had just been cleaned up. I looked towards the back of the room.

I spotted a pair of golden eyes watching me. I could see the smoke from the smooth dark brown pipe as well.

“Is that you, Mikado-kun?” he asked. I lowered my eyes.

“Yes,” I said. He leaned forward. Why did he have to be so beautiful? His skin couldn’t even compare with the light of the moon. I wanted to run my fingers through his short dark hair. His deep red eyes reminded me of Anri-chan’s. He had on his black kimono tonight. I tried not to look at his exposed bare chest.

“I know I’m pretty,” he said. “But I don’t need someone to stare at me all night.” I cleared my throat.

“Hello, Ren,” I muttered. Ren put out his pipe.

“Good evening, my dear,” he said.

“You haven’t changed at all,” I said.

“Neither have you.”

“Heh.” I took out my cigarette and snubbed it out. Ran gave me a cat-like smile.

“Aw,” he said. “Why so sad?” I shook my head.

“I’m not sad,” I said. “I’m just…”

“Lonely?” Ren asked. I pressed my lips together as I nodded. Something about his angelic face and sweet smile reminded me of Kida-kun. He put out his pipe and walked over to me. I could smell the cinnamon on his body as he leaned in for a kiss.

“Tell you what,” he said. “Why don’t you take a bath and I will help mend everything broken inside of you.”

“You sure that will work?” I asked.

“I can try,” he purred in my ear. His hot breath made me shiver. I gulped as I nodded.

“That’s a good boy,” he said. I walked over to the bathroom as if in a trance.

“Oh, Mikado-kun,” Ren spoke up. I looked over my shoulder. He gave me a cat-like smile.

“Do a good job,” he said. “Get underneath the foreskin and all. You know I like my dicks clean.”

“It’s going to get dirty anyway,” I muttered.

“Well, I like it clean going in,” Ren said.

“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

We were only together for one night, Kida-kun and I. This was before Anri-chan died. He couldn’t stand to see me in so much misery. Masaomi stuck by me through everything. The experiments. The flashbacks. Me being constantly attacked. My breakdowns. I don’t know how he did it. When did he get so brave?

There I go again. I’m disappearing myself again.

I leaned back in the tub and stared at the ceiling. No matter how much I try to move on, it creeps back in and pulls me back into that place. I keep promising myself to go there, but what else can I do at times like this? The warm water couldn’t bring me out of it for a change. No amount of scrubbing could wash away my misery. It could, but only for a moment, make me forget about my pain.

I sank down into the water and held my breath. There it goes again. Get it together, man!

After the bath, I came back into the room with only a towel around my waist. Ren looked up at me from the futon. The obi slipped halfway off.

“Welcome back,” he said. I didn’t say a word. Ren stood up, letting his obi fall to the floor. His kimono fluttered open as he shoved it off. How could a man look this beautiful? Sometimes when I see Ren I have to wonder if I am dreaming or not. He came over to me and kissed me on the lips. I could feel how hard he was against the towel. Ren reached around my waist and slid it off. His touch was so gentle. Sometimes, I get confused and start to believe that he is a woman.

“No,” Ren said, breaking off the kiss. “I am a man. I am a man and I am real.” I didn’t get mad when he hears my thoughts. He playfully tackled me down to the futon. I laid on my back, staring up at him. Was that Masaomi staring down at me?

No. That’s not him.

“What do you desire tonight, master?” Ren asked. I gulped as I stared into his deep red eyes.

“Please…” I pleaded.

“Please what?” he asked. I shut my eyes.

“Please… take me!” I pleaded.

“Heh,” Ren said. He slipped down and took whole of my cock. I shivered as he started to stroke me a bit to get it hard. This was just a teaser. I knew how to show went. He looked up at me with those lustful eyes of his. I could already tell what he was thinking.

Ren started with the head. The tip of his tongue sent a chill down my spine. Only he can wake up the old me inside if only for a fleeting moment. I took in heavy breaths. Slowly, Ren started to take me into his mouth. My eyes rolled back into my head.

“Oh,” I murmured. His tongue felt good against the skin. Slowly, I began to get hard.

“Ah!” I moaned. I could feel his eyes on me. He’s probably smirking at me. I peeked down and found myself to be correct. Ren slowly took more of me into his mouth. He looked like a beautiful snake devouring his prey. The way he looked at me consumed me. Yes! Take me! I am yours!

My mind went back to Kida-kun. His jokes were lame, but they kept me sane when things were going down. We slowly started to develop into a closeness that was more than friendly. Ever since he grabbed my wrist, he started to fall in love with me. It was all because Azusa’s powers. The rest developed on its own. I didn’t mind it. I just wanted a little trace of normal in my life. Our relationship came to a head when Saki died. I told him that I would be there for him. He kissed me again and then one thing led to another. I just let him. There was no harm in it, right? I was just being for friend who was drowning because of those bastards in Tandeki. It was all because I did love Kida-kun in a way and I didn’t want him to be trapped in my misery too. What was wrong with that?

I snapped back into reality as I felt my cock going deeper into Ren’s mouth. He still had his eyes on me. How could such a mouth by skilled at deep throating? This was his final move to get his client at their largest. I felt myself close to coming when he slowly pulled away. I lower lip quivered. Ren smiled and wagged his finger back and forth.

“Tsk, tsk,” he said. “We’re only getting started.” I drew my mouth closed.

“Good,” Ren said. “Now, you want to be on the top or do you want me to be on the top?” I gulped as I pressed my lips together.

“Your choice,” I said. I felt my old self surfacing to the top. My voice hasn’t cracked like that in a long time. Ren gave me a quick kiss.

“Your wish is my command,” he said. He rolled me over onto my stomach. I pushed myself up on all fours. I closed my eyes and waited for what was coming next.

Ren’s pretty skilled at this. His fingers were slender and dainty like a woman’s. They felt so warm with the lube playing in my hole. One finger… Two fingers… And finally three fingers. I froze with a gasp. He dug in deep for that one spot to make this more interesting.

“Ah! Ah, damn!” I shouted. Ren chuckled behind me. Already, I held the tip go inside. He grabbed me by the hips. This beautiful man doesn’t ram it all in either. Oh no. He took his time going in inch by inch. I groaned at the sensation. I’ve done this before, but it never got old. Halfway in and I have already lost it to the pleasure. Ren chuckled as he pushed in further. Once he is in, my mind is lost to the pleasure. I forgot about the misery, my loneliness, and the reality in the living world. I can just focus on the forgetting.

I fell back into the mind-numbing pleasure.

Again and again Ren rammed into me. I grabbed onto the sheets below. I bit down on my lower lip in vain. Soft moans filled the room. Ren picked up his pace as my mind got lost in the temporary release.

“Do you want me to keep going?” he purred in my ear. “I can stop if you want me to.” I quickly shook my head.

“No,” I said, breathless. “I… need… more. Please… more!”

“Heh,” was all Ren said. He pounded into me as hard as he could, his nails digging into my skin. I howled in pain and pleasure.

“I can’t hold it!” he shouted. I embraced myself as he broke down into his climax. It didn’t take long for me to reach my own release. We lay beside each other, panting. Ren ran small circles on my chest.

“I wish that you could stay,” he whispered.

“You know I can’t,” I said back. Ren frowned as he rested his head on my chest. Sometimes, I think that Masaomi is back with me again. The last thing I saw in my mind was his smiling face before closing my eyes.

By morning, I got up and slid out of Ren’s grip. It’s kind of shitty of me to leave him like this. But, I have to. I cannot stay in Purgatory because I am still alive. I didn’t make eye contact as I walked down the hall. Miiko probably saw me but said nothing. I didn’t turn around to see. All I knew was I had to get back to Jessie and Akira-kun before they woke up.

I disappeared back into the living world.


I awoke to see my master sitting in front of me the next morning.

“Morning,” he whispered. I narrowed my eyes.

“Where did you go last night?” I asked.

“Just out,” Mikado said. “Listen, we will be leaving Turkey soon. I don’t know where we will go next.”

“When do we leave?” I asked.

“I will let you know,” he said. My master stood up and walked over to the bathroom. I rolled over onto my back. Well, okay. Wherever he goes, I will go too.

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