A Lightless Night
Summary: As Bella takes a drive down a long deserted road she has flashbacks of the past that keeps bringing her back to this point.Very sad, ALL HUMAN & Cannon Pairings.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse.
A Lightless Night
Soundtrack – 2 AM, by Alexz Johnson
Driving down this road always brings back memories, some wanted others not. It was impossible to suppress them even though I never wanted to. Even if the memories were terrible, even if they were memories of me crying out in emotional or even physical pain, if the memory came up on this road it wasn't a memory I ever wanted to forget. I wouldn't ever forget any of those memories.
The first memory today was the one of our first meeting and ironically enough it was on this exact road.
"Start! Dang you, start!" I have no idea what I'm going to do. Mechanics was not my expertise. I don't think I've ever even seen the engine of my truck before now. It was just by luck I bumped the hood release one day when I was getting out of it for school.
My truck has never broken down before, no matter how old it was. It always worked for me, it never gave me a problem. So now here I am on a long empty road on my way home from Seattle, only a half hour away and my truck breaks down in the pouring rain right outside Forks, Washington. Could life get any worse?
"Please start! I'll buy you new seat covers!" I bargained with it. "Please!"
The loud splashing of the rain blocked out any other noise. Finally I just got frustrated to the point of no return. I grabbed onto the side of the truck and kicked it one, two, three times screaming at it while doing so. I was drenched, in a completely bad mood when two headlights hit my truck.
That's when I noticed there was a very expensive, shiny silver Volvo parked behind me totally out of place. The driver turned off their car but left their lights on before getting out and coming over to me. Part of me was totally freaked out, going to extremes like a serial killer, and the other part of me was relieved to finally get some help.
"Hey," A musical voice shouted over the loud noise created by the rain. "In need of some help?" I couldn't see who's face it was because it was too dark to see anything, although I knew he could see mine because he left his headlights on.
"It just won't turn on," I whined kicking my truck again, and possibly breaking my toe.
The musical voice chuckled, "Your truck probably just needs jumped. I've got the cables in my trunk. I'll be back." I wanted to hug this mysterious stranger for his help. He turned around to go get the cables and that's when I got my third shock of the night.
His face was caught by the light from his car, and although it was still dark outside, pouring down raining, I knew I'd never seen a more beautiful face before in my life. His hair was dark, short and matted down thanks to the downfall but when he turned I noticed a bronze tint into it. His facial features was perfectly angular with high cheekbones, a strong jawline, a straight nose, and full lips. And when the light from his car hit his face I noticed the brilliant twinkle of his green eyes.
I almost fell like goo.
It didn't take long for him to grab the cables out of his trunk or pop his hood and before I knew it he was under the hood of my truck attaching the cables to jump it. "Alright. Now all I have to do is start my car to charge your battery."
I followed him back to his car so he could start it and instead of leaving me out in the cold, pouring rain he invited me in his car even though he knew absolutely nothing about except that I was soaking wet. "Whew. All we have to do is wait," the human Adonis said.
He turned on his car's heat and warmed the car up since we were wet and shaking. There was soft classical music playing in the background, some that I recognized. I looked over to him, "Thank you so much for pulling over. If it weren't for you my father would have the whole police department out looking for me. I never really thought of the perks of having the Forks Chief of Police as a father until tonight. Even though it's embarrassing every other time." I was babbling and I knew it. I couldn't help it. I was freezing cold, in a strange gorgeous mans car a half an hour from home, waiting for my truck to start. Not to mention the fact that I pretty much knew my dad already had the police force from three different counties out looking for me. He's a bit over-protective.
The musical voice chuckled, "No problem. I have a thing for saving a damsel in distress."
I smiled. "And what number would I be, white knight?" I asked,joking around.
He pondered that for a second. "Well if you count all the girls I rescued back in Chicago, you would be my first. Roughly."
I giggled. I held my hand out. "I'm Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella."
He took my hand and shook it. I don't know what it was but when we made physical contact I felt a spark go through us. I wonder if he felt it too. "Edward. Edward Cullen."
"Well I'm glad I was you first damsel in distress. I don't know what I would've done without you." I pulled my hand back, and instantly regretting it.
"Anytime. I wouldn't ever want you out in the cold rain at night. There might be serial killers about."
I giggled a little nervous laugh at my previous thoughts. I looked at the time on Edward's dashboard and noticed how late it was getting. Charlie really would be out looking for me by now. As much as I hated to leave the warm interior of his car and the presence of a God, I knew I had to be getting home soon. "Think my trucks done charging yet?"
Edward turned off his car and got out, saying, "Yeah, probably." I got out too and watched as he carefully unhooked the cables from both my truck and his car. "Alright, start her up," He said.
My old red truck purred like new. Well almost. "Yes! Thank you so much!" I shut the door to my truck praying to God that she wouldn't break down again, at least not until I got home.
Edward smiled. "Welcome. But before you leave did I hear you mention Forks?"
I nodded my head, "Yeah. That's where I live. Why?"
"Well I just moved there from Chicago," He explained. I couldn't hide the surprise on my face. "I start High School there on Monday."
"Well I guess I'll see you there."
He was always taking care of me, even when we didn't know each other. When I think about it, even now, I know that I fell in love with him the first time I saw his face in his car headlights, though I would never had admitted it to him.
The next day at school, when I was finally able to convince myself I wasn't dreaming and that I actually had been saved by Adonis that night, I saw Edward surrounded by his family. Lucky for me he was in almost all of my classes, even gym. We were sophomore's in high school and we were best friends. Before Edward came to Forks I felt lonely. I had friends but I felt like an outsider with most of them. Angela was the only one I could possibly relate to but she had recently begun dating Ben. Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely ecstatic for her even though I was pitying myself.
But on that one Monday, when I expected nothing new to happen, Edward and his family showed up at school. They all were so close knit together, but once they saw Edward talking to me they welcomed me with open arms. It didn't take long for me to feel at home.
"And this is my sister Alice." Edward was just finishing up the introductions. Alice was a short, pixie like girl and very hyper. She was very friendly though and it didn't take long for us to become best friends. Edward's family consisted of his sister Alice and his brother Emmett.
They had moved to Forks because his father Carlise was offered a job at the local hospital and wanted his kids to grow up in a small town. Their two friends Rosalie Hale, who was dating Emmett, and Jasper Hale, who was dating Alice, moved with them because they wouldn't break up and refused to deal with long distance relationships.
Lunch with the Cullen's and the Hale's was very different and very entertaining at the same time. Normally, I would just sit there and read one of my classic books while Lauren and Jessica gossiped or while Mike and Tyler argued over who was the better arm wrestler, but never actually took the time to find out. Lunch with my new friends was fun. Edward and I talked about our favorite books and music, while Alice planned out a shopping trip, and less than occasionally Emmett would crack a joke that somehow ended up with my cheeks burning.
I thought back to how social awkward we all were, and how we never cared. I thought back to Edward sending out college applications for me, even to schools like Dartmouth and Harvard, but I could have cared less because I would have followed him anywhere.
I thought back to how I wrestled with my conflicting feelings of him for years, until I finally had the nerve to ask him to our Senior Prom, something I vowed never to go to.
"Edward, there's something I wanted to ask you." We were laying down in our meadow we found on one of our first hikes together. I was resting my head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat trying to come up wit the courage to ask him a simple question.
"Well, there was something I wanted to ask you, too," He replied sounding almost nervous. I sat up so I could get a better look at him.
"You first," We both said at the same time. We laughed.
"How about we ask our questions for each other at the same time?" He suggested.
I nodded too nervous to speak.
"Okay, one," He said.
"Two," I continued.
"Three!""Will you go to prom with me?" We both asked at the same time.
We looked at one another and just started laughing. It was a relief to know that he wanted to go with me. I knew a couple of girls, Jessica and Lauren included, had ask him and I also knew he had declined them.
After we calmed down a bit, he look at me. "Is that a yes?" He asked, still sounding uncertain.
"Of course," I told him, my own heart exploding.
Edward leaned up and kissed me, something I'd been dreaming of since the day I met him.
The only thing I had expected was that my dreams couldn't compare.
Prom itself was magical. I had vowed to never go, but I would have gone anywhere with Edward.
I pulled my silver Volvo over to the side of the road, somewhere I come almost everyday for a year. Before me there was a cross in the road with an emerald silk ribbon around it. I tried to keep myself pulled together as another memory flashed before me.
We had just graduated from the University of Seattle. All of our friends and family were here in the stands screaming our names and taking millions of pictures. I had a degree in English Literature and planned to become a teacher back at Forks High School and Edward had done the same with music, planning to reform the music program.
It was four years later, Edward and I were still dating strong, even through all the thicker parts we made it through. Our families walked over to us while we were still on stage, taking a Class picture. Our classmates dispersed, going off to find their family members.
"Hows it feel to finally be done with school?" My father asked. My mother was busy taking a million pictures so she could put them in a scrapbook when she got back home to Phoenix.
"Well their not really done, Charlie. Remember? They're the weird ones that actually liked school, and even weirder, are going back again next year until they retire. Creepy." Emmett was using his creeper voice. Rose was standing with their child, Michael Cullen. They've been married for a year next month.
"Yeah. I know, Emmett. After all those years of torture and gossip from Lauren and Jessica you still want to go back and deal with another group of high schoolers, let alone try and teach them to be better people. You know, Mission Impossible?" Jasper joined him on the good-natured teasing. Alice, who was newly engaged and set to marry Jasper in October, laughed her chime like laugh.
The auditorium was still pretty full, maybe only a third of the families gone when Edward grabbed my hand, pulling me to the center of the stage almost making me fall in my cap and gown. "Edward! What are you doing?" I nearly shouted, mostly out of surprise.
"I have something I want to show you." He stopped at the center of the stage and picked up the microphone which was still on.
"Edward!" I hissed his name. He ignored me.
Edward turned toward me and spoke into the microphone for everyone to hear. "Isabella Swan, from the first day I saw you in the pouring rain, kicking your old beat up red truck, makeup smeared, I knew I couldn't leave without you in my life. To this day I thank the Heavens I had the sense to pull over to jump your car because I knew as soon as we shook hands that you were the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."
The who auditorium had gone silent, all eyes one me. Edward took a step toward me, grabbed my hand, and pulled out a tiny blue velvet box before kneeling before me. He spoke clearly into the microphone so I wouldn't miss a word he said. "Isabella. Bella Swan, will you do me the honors and be my wife?"
He opened the box and inside was the most beautiful, silver eighteenth century wedding ring I have ever seen in my life and from what Edward had told me of his past, I knew it was his biological mother, Elizabeth's, ring.
He stood up fast probably anticipating me throwing myself into his arms, or more realistically falling to the ground. "Yes," I whispered for only him to cheer.
The auditorium was never filled with so many cheers.
I reached across the Volvo's console to get the dozen ruby red roses I always brought every time I came here and got out of the car to walk over to the cross. The cross itself was Alice and Esme's design while Emmett and Carlise made it. They couldn't have done anything better for this spot.
I looked at the words etched into the cross "Forever and Always We Belong Together". It was our saying and part of our vows.
I walked down the isle wishing Charlie was more support than he was. He seemed to be just as nervous as I was but when my eyes locked with the angelic green ones I had seen so many times before, my legs steadied and I knew I was making the right decision.
When Edward first saw me, well it's something I would never forget. His brilliant green eyes lit up even brighter, something I didn't know was possible. He smiled my favorite crooked smile that sent all the breath out of me almost causing me to trip in the three inch heels Alice put me in. I watched him chuckled.
Charlie delivered me to Edward safely enough and as I watched him turn away, I noticed him wipe away a tear that managed to escape. "I love you," I mouthed to him and my mother. They smiled back.
We listened to the priest and repeated after him when it came time to say the vows. We added in a little extra piece. Before we said "I do" we both said something else as equally true, "Forever and always We Belong Together".
And then Edward's soft delicious lips were on mine for our first kiss as husband and wife. It was the second happiest day of my life.
I knelt before the cross and set the roses down before it. "Edward," I breathed. "Renesmee's birthday was yesterday. I'm sorry I couldn't come. I know it's been a year." I sighed. "I miss you," I whispered.
I tried to turn my head off the destructive path I know it was heading. "Rose and Emmett are pregnant again, well Rose more than Emmett." I tried to smile. "This is their third. I didn't even know they were trying for another. Michael is almost two and Mathew is only two months old."
I don't know how they do that, take care of two kids with another one on the way. I have enough troubles taking care of Renesmee sometimes." I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "Why did you have to go?" I knew it wasn't his fault, and though I never placed the blame on him it still tore me up inside that he wasn't here with me today.
"Renesmee asks about you, everyday. I still don't think she understands. She thinks you abandoned us," My voice cracked at the end. "She'll understand one day." Though Lord I pray that day is soon. "She has your beautiful green eyes. Sometimes it's almost painful to look at her, she looks so much like you, but she's all of you I have left."
I was surrounded by doctors all trying to do a million different things at once. My parents, Charlie, Renee, Carlise and Esme were there trying to calm me down as was Alice, Jasper and Rose, and Emmett. "Where's Edward? Didn't anyone call him?" I was going into labor and even though my whole family was there the one person I wanted most by my side was missing.
"I called him, honey. He's on his way." Esme spoke trying to calm me down.
"He'd better hurry." I was sweating and huffing in pain. This was Edward's and my first child and he was going to miss it being born. The doctors checked me out and as my pains worsened the doctors decided I needed an emergency C-Section. Just before they sent me down, Edward ran in.
"Bella, my love. I'm so sorry I'm late. How are you doing?" He asked frantic.
"Mr. Cullen, I assume. I need you to move. We need to do an emergency C-Section now," One of my doctors told me. I cried out in pain.
Edward took my hand in his and looked me in the eye trying to pour all his love for me out in this one moment. "Edward, I'm scared," I confessed.
"I know you are Bella, but I promise you are going to be alright. Everything will be okay." Edward spoke with ferocious intensity.
Edward barely paid them no notice, not wanting to break the notice. "I love you. You will be fine and in a few hours you will have our baby in your arms."
The doctors wheeled me out of the room and past Edward to give me the C-Section that would save Renesmee's life. It was the last time I ever saw Edward.
"You went out to get me my favorite ice cream, something I had been craving during my whole pregnancy but you never returned." Edward was hit right here by a drunken driver and killed on impact on his way back with my ice cream. "You never even got to meet Renesmee."
I looked away, the pain almost too much to bare. It's been a year since Edward was taken from me and I still feel as helpless and as lost as I did when I first found out. "You know the only thing that kept me going was our daughter, your daughter. If not, I probably would have joined you by now."
I looked up to the sky and thought about all the kissed Edward stole when he thought his parents were looking, I thought about our first night on our honeymoon, and even the night I knew Renesmee was conceived. I thought over every detail I have of Edward's and my life and the worst part was I could tell some of it was trying to fade.
"I'll never forget you," I said looking back down at the cross. "Never." I sighed, "I know you would want me to Edward, but I don't think I can move on. The love I have for you is unlike any other. I love only you Edward and the thought of me going on with my life and doing so with another man is unacceptable for me. It's just too painful because I love you and I know you love me too." I stood up and stepped away, another tear escaping from my eye, and then another. "I'll be back same time next week." I stepped forward to rub the emerald silk ribbon between my fingers. It reminded me of the feeling of his hair and the color of his eyes. "
Goodbye, Edward. I love you." I turned and left the cross knowing I would be doing the same thing again the same time next week. "Please don't forget me," I whispered. A gentle breeze went by telling me he wouldn't.
I can't tell the stars from the downtown lights.
If I said I was truly over you
,my heart would say amen,
but I'd give in to the cold caress of 2 am.
If I admit I can't get used to this
will my heart break again?
As I fall into the waiting arms of 2 am.
2 AM, by Alexz Johnson
Sad, I know. I was crying while I wrote it.Please make me happy and review!
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