A Dark Confession

Bobby's Confession

“Yup.” Answered Bobby Singer when he saw that Dean was calling him, Dean couldn’t answer, his emotions were choking his voice making it difficult to form a sentence. “Dean, are you there?”

“Bobby,” Dean stumbled on his words, eyes closed, jaw working he had the phone resting on his forehead. He took a minute, he heard Bobby calling his name, “Bobby, I’m going to ask you something and I want the whole damn truth”.

Bobby could tell that Dean was in a very highly emotional and dangerous state of mind. He knew there was only one thing that could make him this emotional, Sam. “Dean, what happened to Sam?” He asked softly, trying to talk Dean down from a narrow ledge.

“Bobby, the night Sam left us,” Oh shit Bobby thought, “The night he left us something happened before Dad threw him out. I want you to tell me the whole truth Bobby.”

“Son, why do you want to know about that? Whatever happened you can’t go back and fix it. Did something go wrong on the hunt?”

“The hunt was bad. These monsters they were, they were um running a child sex ring Bobby. We ganked em with no problem and got the kids back home, but Sam,” The silent tears started again while guilt clawed at his throat Dean was talking in stilted sentences, “I found him sitting in the dark with a three quarter empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. Now, that kid hardly ever drinks hard alcohol so WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED.” Dean yelled angrily.

“Dean I don’t think you should hear this over the phone son”.

“Bobby, just tell me okay? Just, just tell me”. Dean said begging Bobby to explain what happened to his little brother.

Bobby took a deep breath, knowing this was a bad idea because it would be one more thing Dean would let crawl inside him adding to his already generous supply of pain and guilt.

“Alright, alright,” Bobby sighed heavily, “Sam called me from Palo Alto. He told me he needed help. I asked him what was wrong and the kid was hysterical. So I dropped everything and went. When I got to his room he was a mess Dean. Bruises all over, two cracked ribs, several cuts and a fractured wrist,” Bobby closed his eyes the memories of that night still haunted him to this day.

“Oh my God Bobby, I didn’t know, I saw the bruises, but not the rest. How did he drive all that way?”

“I don’t know kiddo, I don’t know. He was cryin’ hysterically and I had to give him pain killers and a sedative to calm him down. I tried calling you, but your phone wasn’t workin’. Neither was the phone at the motel you was stayin’at”.

“Yeah Dad disconnected the phone and threw our cell phones out. He was pissed about Stanford. He came in roaring not even noticing the shape Sammy was in. I didn’t know what to do”.

“Dean, that isn’t all”.

“Oh God Bobby”.

“Dean, he told me he had been out hustlin’ and I knew he didn’t mean pool. I didn’t know things had gotten that bad for you two. He said he was trying to stash some money aside for school and that he wanted to hustle some pool but he didn’t have any seed money”.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Deans voiced quivered, waiting for the rest of the story.

“He told me four guys jumped him and they was,” Bobby was trying to keep his emotions under control because he knew he couldn’t fall apart. Dean wanted the whole story and he would get through this, “Dean, they tried to….to,”

“Rape him Bobby? Was my Sammy going to be…” Dean couldn’t hold it in any longer. He held the phone down at his side, crouched and with his head thrown back he screamed. He screamed for their lost childhood, he screamed for Sammy’s lost innocence, he screamed for their asshole of a father and he screamed for the pain he put Sammy through.

“Dean, you still there, Dean?” Dean put the phone back up to his ear, he barely got out a yes before the dam finally broke and he cried.

“Listen son,” Bobby said quietly, “You can’t change what happened. You can’t change what your fool of a Daddy did to you, but you listen to me, if Sam is remembering all this you need to be strong and help him back through it. He went through hell Dean. I stayed with him for two weeks. I nursed him…” Bobby’s voice caught with emotion, “I nursed him back. I got him to talk to a crises center, at least a few times. He asked me not to tell you”.

“Goddamn it. Bobby, oh god Bobby, how do I live with this now? Huh? How do I live with this?” ‘I didn’t protect Sam’ was the only thing that went through Dean’s head, ‘I didn’t protect him’. As he hung up the phone he heard Bobby say “Balls”.

Dean got himself under control before he went back to the room. He knew he had to be strong to get Sam through the night. He just wished he could go back to that night and do things differently. He walked back in and found Sam slumped in the chair passed out. It took some effort, but he got Sam out of his clothes, into some sweats and into bed. The kid needed to sleep it off. The hangover was going to be the least of their problems when Sam woke up.

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