RAFFLE OFF YOUR FAVORITE NURSE: M*A*S*H YEAR ONE BOOK ONE

Chapter 5: The Contest Proposal

Radar O’Reilly, always one step ahead of just about everybody. Never once to be understood by Colonel Henry Blake.....

Radar, moved fast into the Colonel’s office, knowing he wanted to see the corporal before actually calling for him.....

“Yes, sir?” “Radar! Radar, don’t do that.”

Radar immediately picked up some paperwork, on the left side- of the colonel’s desk his right hand carrying more paperwork to be signed.

“Yes, sir. You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes, but let me say I want to see you before I see you.”
“Yes, sir. You wanted to see these, sir?” Radar, handed Colonel Blake fast the paperwork that needed to be signed.

“How did you know that?” - “That’s why you called me.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Henry Blake, signed the paperwork handed to him.

Radar took quick possession of the stapled pages, one packet at a time.

His mind now somewhat muddled, by the piles of excessive use in multiple signing copies, of the barely understood draft pages in records keeping of military paperwork Henry Blake grabbed instinctively for the remaining paperwork on his desk to file them in the appropriate place.

Radar, immediately intercepted the colonel’s play with one fast counter-grab. “You wanted me to take those, sir.” - “Yeah.”

Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce, and Captain Trapper John McIntyre, immediately entered into the colonel’s office without announcing themselves. Radar O’Reilly, doing this- one calling task, and many other- unnecessary, and at times unknown jobs well enough for both doctors.

“Captains Pierce and McIntyre to see you, sir.”

“Show them in.” Henry Blake answered the introduction by the corporal as he turned to greet the two doctors that were already waiting before his desk.

“Men?”

“How are ya, Henry?” - Trapper John McIntyre, extended his- right hand, in offer of greeting. The doctors of the 4077, Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (with the exception of two well known adversaries, that were known to be ranking majors), they were- more in truth to be more doctor than army.

The honors of saluting ones’ superior, committed to, only when it was to be absolutely necessary- by arrival of wartime officials in high ranking of authority.

Benjamin Franklin Pierce, offered his right hand in greeting to their superior next.

Colonel Henry Blake, now looked probing- on the smiling faces from that of- the two doctors, standing before him, with raised- suspicions.

Their commanding officer knowing full well the details of many of the: dynamic doctors' duos’- commitment, to high pranking- of multiple stress-relieving shenanigans.

“How are ya, Henry?”

"That’s not what you guys- came to ask. I mean, the last thing you wanna know when you say, How are you? Is how am I."

Hawkeye Pierce, casually removed the letter, for Ho- Jon's call in college acceptance, from his- shirt pocket. The doctor, slowly unfolded the documents and handed them to the colonel for his approval.

Pierce led the details of the doctors' joint proposition.

"All right Henry, let’s skip the gristle and get right down to the bone. Now, what we want from you is two weekend passes, so we can raise- this tuition...... See, what we wanna do, is raffle- them off, along with the company- of one of our nurses, whose heart and everything else is in the right place."

"Seems like a good enough cause. Why don’t I trust you guys?"

"Because- we’re not trustworthy." Answered Captain Trapper- John McIntyre, fast of whit

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe that’s it.

How do I know you’re on the level?

Which nurse have you conned into doing this?"

"Well, I haven’t approached her yet, but there could be only one choice.

A girl with a face that doesn’t quit.

A girl with so much body, she should be continued- on the next girl."

Henry Blake and Hawkeye Pierce spoke in unison the one well known nurses name.

"Lieutenant Dish." - "Lieutenant Dish."

Colonel Henry Blake now countered the doctors' proposal with a dose of reality.

The colonel knowing of Lieutenant Dish's unbreakable bond in faith of her ongoing marriage status.

"Lieutenant Dish will never agree to this." -

"Oh, but she will....

Because, inaccessible as she is to everybody else in this cruddy outfit, she’s putty in the hands of the master."



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