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Queer Beer

By fri13girl

Humor / Romance

Queer Beer

It was early evening on the Argo II. Nico, Reyna, and Coach Hedge were preparing to leave soon. Piper had come up with the idea that they would hall have dinner before the trio left. Coach Hedge had rejected this invitation, so it was just the nine demigods. They all just sat at the mess hall silently. It was kind of boring and awkward at first, until Piper finally spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Hey guys," She said, standing up. "Earlier, while Coach Hedge was out, I was investigating a weird smell in his room." Piper walked over to a dark corner of the room, where there was an old dirty blanket covering some boxes. "And I found…" She pulled away the blanket. "These." She held up a twelve pack of beer. "Four of them, to be exact." The side of the box said Queer! Beer! "Only one box was open and only one was gone. I took them just to be safe." Piper explained, setting the box on the top of the stack.

"You know, that name sounds really familiar to me…" Percy said thoughtfully. "I think I've seen it on commercials or billboards or something. I'm not sure though."

"Me too." Piper replied. "I think my dad told me about having at a few parties. He said that it was really good, but didn't affect anybody very much. Just got some people to make out and stuff."

"How on earth would mortals get a hold of Queer Beer?!" Reyna exclaimed. "On Circe's island, it was a nickname for a potion to help you find your true love. If they're in the room, then the two of you will feel compelled to kiss, if the both of you are drinking it. I'm not even sure it has alcohol at all." The demigods looked around at each other curiously.

"Well, it couldn't hurt to try it, right?" Percy asked, breaking the pause. "If kissing is all it'll make us do, everything should be fine."

"I don't know…" Annabeth said hesitantly. "If it's a potion, I'm not so sure we should…"

"Come on, Annabeth!" Percy threw an arm around her, cutting off what she was saying. "It won't hurt us; Piper and Reyna said so. Reyna doesn't think it even has alcohol in it. Annabeth still didn't look too sure that it would be okay to drink any.

"I agree with Annabeth on this one." Nico spoke up. "He looked down at his barely touched food. "I mean, how are we sure that it won't do anything?"

"Well, mortals can buy it." Piper pointed out. "Why would they sell this to mortals if it wasn't okay for them?"

"Reyna and I have had wine before, for ceremonies and such." Jason said. "As long as we pace ourselves, and don't drink too much, we should be fine if it turns out to be alcoholic." Nico glared at him. Nobody really saw, because they were sitting next to each other.

"Well, to me it sounds like it might ease up the mood a bit." Leo said with a shrug. "Face it; you could cut the tension with a knife."

"I think it sounds like fun." Hazel said with a smile. She glanced at Frank. The two blushed slightly. "Plus, I agree with Leo."

"So then, it's settled?" Piper picked up nine bottles of Queer Beer, and began handing them out to the others. Nico and Annabeth took theirs, albeit reluctantly.

"I think I'll pass on the beer." Frank said, turning down the bottle Piper held out to him. "I'll make sure none of you do anything you might regret, and take care of you guys if anything bad happens." So, everybody except Frank opened their bottles with a bottle opener provided via Leo's tool belt, which they passed around. The eight who were drinking decided to all take their first sip at the same time.

"One… Two… Three." Annabeth counted. On three, everybody took their first drink of Queer Beer. As soon as they tasted it, everybody's eyes widened and they all made a satisfied noise when they tasted it. "Mmm!" Was the only noise heard, except for the sound of the bottles touching the table. Frank watched them with a facial expression that was a mixture of awe and disgust. He had never had beer, and didn't thing that it would taste good. He was also afraid of consuming alcohol and embarrassing himself.

"It's really good!" Hazel said enthusiastically. "Right Nico?" Nico had been reluctant to drink any Queer Beer, but hadn't wanted to call attention to himself by not drinking any. He actually found that he rather liked it, and was currently taking a large swig. He set down the bottle and nodded.

"Yeah, it is." Annabeth agreed before downing another gulp. "I'm actually really glad I decided to drink some.

"As far as I can tell, this isn't alcoholic." Reyna said after taking a sip. She and Annabeth were sitting next to each other. "I'm not sure if this is the same Queer Beer from Circe's Island or not. I've never had it before now. I'm glad I've had a chance to try it now. Now I know what I'd been missing." She smiled at Annabeth, who smiled back, but looked at the table kind of shyly. Percy's arm was still around her.

"Can we get another round of Queer Beer?" Percy asked, moving his arm from around Annabeth to resting it on the table, his now-free hand curving to hold the base of his empty bottle of Queer Beer.

"Yeah, we'll grab some." Jason said, standing up. "Hey Leo, Nico, want to help?"

"Sure." Leo stood up.

"Yeah, I guess I'll help." Nico said, setting down his empty bottle of Queer Beer. He stood up. Nico was noticeably not as uptight, especially to Frank. The three of them walked to the corner where the Queer Beer was, and loaded their arms with bottles.

While they were doing that, Hazel moved from her seat next to the head of the table (where Frank was) that was next to Percy, to the other seat next to the head of the table, where Nico had been sitting, next to Jason. Piper moved to where Jason had been sitting. She had been between him and Leo, but now she was going to be between Hazel and Jason.

"Are you feeling alright Hazel?" Frank asked, concerned.

"Yup!" Hazel said perkily. "Queer Beer is amazing!" She was grinning.

Leo, Jason and Nico walked over to the table one by one and set down their armloads of bottles. Leo sat down where he had been sitting. Jason sat next to him. Nico reluctantly sat down next to Percy, who grabbed both of them a bottle of Queer Beer.

"Thanks." Nico said, blushing slightly.

"No problem." Percy said, winking. He snagged the bottle opener for them, and offered it to Nico first.

"Leo, do you have another bottle opener in your tool belt?" Jason asked Leo, looking at the Latino's belt.

"I could probably get one." Leo said, pulling one out of his tool belt, and handing it to Jason.

"Thanks Leo." The two shared a smile. Jason opened his own bottle, and then grabbed Leo's bottle. He opened it for the Latino.

"You know, you didn't have to do that for me." Leo said.

"Oh, but I want to." Jason passed the opened bottle back to Leo, who nudged Jason with his shoulder.

Piper turned to Hazel who was sitting next to her. "Do you want another beer?" Hazel took a final sip of her bottle, and set it back down; empty.

"I can get my own." Hazel shrugged. Piper grabbed two bottles, and then the bottle opener from near Percy and Nico, who were across from them. She opened the bottles in one smooth motion.

"Now you don't have to." Piper smiled, and handed one open beer to Hazel. She winked. Frank looked kind of uncomfortable in the presence of his girlfriend drinking Queer Beer.

Reyna and Annabeth were both drinking slowly. They were only about three quarters of the way through their beers. They were discussing Roman architecture and who-knows-what.

Fifteen minutes later…

Percy had his arm wrapped around Nico's waist, though Nico didn't seem to mind. He was actually leaning against Percy. Percy was leaning against Nico too. Percy'd had five beers, while Nico'd had four, and were both thoroughly intoxicated by the Queer Beer.

"I have to tell you something Percy." Nico said, sitting up straight, though he was swaying. He was slurring his words.

"What?" Percy asked.

"I love you." Nico murmured. "I have since I first saw you in action, defending me and Bianca from the manticore." He was slurring. Percy smiled, grabbed his face, and kissed him. The two moved so that they were straddling the bench they were sitting on. Frank looked uncomfortable with the two of them making out right next to him.

Piper and Hazel were giggling, slurring, and swaying across from them. Frank had tried to caution her a few times, but Piper told him not to worry, using charm speak on him. They'd each had five beers.

"That looks fun." Hazel slurred; gesturing to Percy and Nico, swaying and bumping into Piper. "Can we do that?"

"You're right." Piper giggled, and then hiccupped. "Let's make out." Hazel put her hand on the back of Piper's neck, and pulled the Native American girl's face down to hers, so that their lips could meet. Piper moved Hazel so that the daughter of Pluto was sitting in her lap.

Jason'd had six beers, and Leo'd had five beers. They were watching Piper and Hazel.

"That's kinda hot, you know?" Leo slurred. Jason had an arm around Leo's shoulders.

"Yeah, but I think that I'd like to do that more." Jason gestured drunkly at Percy and Nico, who had yet to come up for air.

"That looks like more fun, you're right." Leo nodded. He fell forward, and his lips met Jason's. The two began to make out. Frank looked around at the three couples making out, and glanced at Reyna and Annabeth. He hoped that they were taking it slow, and wouldn't get drunk. He'd only seen them have three beers each.

Reyna and Annabeth kept drinking Queer Beer at a slow pace. Two beers each later, they were drunk. Nico was straddling Percy's lap; his legs wrapped around Percy's waist. Percy's arms were wrapped around Nico, and Nico's arms were wrapped around Percy. Hazel was straddling Piper's lap, while holding onto the back of her head with her hands. Piper's arms were wrapped around Hazel. Leo's back was leaning against the table, and he was straddling Jason, with his legs wrapped around Jason's waist. Jason was bracing himself against the table, and making out with Leo, whose arms were around his neck.

Suddenly, Reyna kissed Annabeth hard. Annabeth had a second of shock, but she kissed back. Their arms found their way around each other's bodies.

Frank sat at the head of the table awkwardly, watching them all kiss. He gathered the remaining bottles of Queer beer and carried them with him as he left the mess hall. As he passed Coach Hedge's cabin, he heard the sound of a commercial.

Take a sip here, take a sip there.

All you need is a nice cold beer.

By the end of the night, after three or four beers, I guarantee you'll be drinking queer.

By the end of the night, after three or four beers, I guarantee you'll be drinking queer.

Enjoy, relax. Everyone deserves to have a little queer in their life.

Coach Hedge grunted.

"As I recall, that stuff was nasty. Speaking of which, where'd all of it go?"

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