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Meeting Ironhide

By AnnieQuill

Scifi / Humor

Meeting Ironhide

"Ironhide!" shouted Major Lennox, waiving the big back mech over to where he was standing with a rail thin girl that held herself like a warrior. Ironhide walked over, trying to figure out why a child was on base.


"Ironhide, this is our new liaison, Defiance Pax. Miss Pax, this is Ironhide, the autobot weapons specialist," the Major said. Ironhide grinned and activated his cannons, pointing them at her.


"You feeling lucky punk?" he said.



"No, Not at all,"she said, sprinting forward. Next thing he knew, She had climbed up his leg and back and was holding on to one of the most important neural lines in a mech's body."I've had enough guns aimed at me not to be okay with it. Please put those away and never aim them at me again unless there is an enemy behind me that I cannot handle. Is that understood Autobot Weapons Specialist Ironhide?" she said. Ironhide quickly powered down and retracted his cannons.


"Understood loud and clear Ma'am," He said,"now will you please release my neural line?"


"Yes, I will," she said. he felt her release his neural line and then climb up to sit on his shoulder plate."I'm not sorry that I did that, I am sorry that I had to,"


"Understood Ma'am," He said,"I'm sorry I aimed my cannons at you,"


"Understood. You look like you could use a through cleaning, wax, and polish. would that be an acceptable make up?" she asked.


"I do belive that would be acceptable," Ironhide said.


"Well thats nice and all but but what the HELL Pax!What the hell was that?!

How did you do that!?!" the Major shouted.

“Major, he was pointing two very large cannons in my face, I have a just cause for going ninja on him,” she said.


“Where did you learn to ‘go ninja on him’?” the Major asked.


“You don’t need to know that,” she said.


“Yes I do,” the Major said.


“E.T.N.T.R.E.,  like everything else,”  she said, crossing her arms.


“What does that even stand for ?” the Major said.


“Extra Terrestrial Negotiation, Trade,Regulation, and Enforcement ,” she said, leaning against Ironhide's’ neck,”Also known as Sec 51,”


“Alrighty then,” the Major said.


“Okay, now can I give him a car wash?” she asked.


“Yes, you can,” the Major said.


“Alright, come on,” she said, sliding down Ironhide's front, making both the mech and the Major's eyes widen in horror. She landed and rolled, popping up perfectly fine. “What? Don’t be fooled by my cuteness, I got ninja skills,” she said, walking into the Autobot hanger to get supplies.





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Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

Remini UDA: I would like to firstly admit I do not like the romance genre, it's not something I tend to read and as such I did not complete the whole story and only made it to chapter 15. Whether that affects this review is for you to consider.The Unknown Variant is a very well written book, as a reader I wa...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

Melissa Davis: Interesting book and an enjoyable read. Had something different to it, that made me glad I picked it up.

Dru83: This is probably the fourth time I've read this one. I read this a few times on fictionpress as dru83. This is a wonderful story. It still needs a lot of shining up as there are many instances of punctuation issues, grammar issues, and issues with using the wrong word. But all that still can't ta...

internathunal: I was held captive by your sense of style. I would love to see more from you. I enjoyed this immensely.

Dina Husseini: It was a great hook. I do not like reading scifi because they end up being like all the rest but this one kept me wanting more.

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