*** Ok so this a mini chapter just to kinda explain and smooth out some details. Now I decided to take a bit of a risk and write a little from Thorin's POV, though I make no promises of its quality! enjoy :)***
"What?" I exclaimed unsure of whether I had heard him correctly or not.
"The Arkenstone. Your stepfather gave it to me under the condition that I take you as my wife." he said solemnly and completely as if his sudden honesty would somehow make everything easier to handle.
"You traded me for a stone...?" I crossed my arms around me in a makeshift attempt to hold myself together and tried to comprehend this horrible situation.
"It is not just some stone Leena. It's value is unmatched in all of Erebor."
"Oh good. Well at least I can have some self-worth now!" I added sarcastically. "So he had to pay you to take me off his hands. And you accepted out of pure greed!"
"You know nothing." He snapped back."The Arkenstone has a power of it's own - and I am drawn to it. Now that I have it I will never be able to let it go - even if it means marrying someone against their will."
"That's not healthy." I remarked, a little too bluntly. "So that's why you were so willing to help my sister! You wanted nothing more than to have a pretty little wife on your arm as you gawk at a jewel!"
"I cannot change the past. And I can see I will never be able to change your mind." with that he picked up the dagger and strode away. And I let him go.
Left to my own thoughts once again I surprisingly drew a blank. I felt a weird sense of relief as my deepest fears both came true...and didn't. My foolish idea that Thorin could care for me stung a little as I reflected upon it, knowing that I had acknowledged the potential for the relationship between us to become something more. I clenched and unclenched my hands. The feeling of emptiness was definitely present as I realized that he wasn't coming back for me. He had made his feelings clear: they belonged to treasure and he held no candle for me.
So why didn't I leave? Why couldn't I move my feet? I knew the answer. I wanted what I couldn't have.
My fate was ultimately decided by the greed of dwarves.
My patience had withered. I could no longer bear the look she bestowed upon me and it only added to my self loathing. I did what went against my better judgement and removed myself from the situation. She would not follow me; of that I was sure. I silently cursed the rain as I trudged back through the streets. It did nothing to alleviate the dark cloud that loomed over me now. I was a fool to have come here. No - I was a fool to have let her leave. A dominating anger developed deep in my chest. Her place was in the castle, a place only fit for a female - beside me as a wife. A wife a king deserved; one that would wait patiently for my return from glorious battles and never burden me with long lost sisters. But I knew it was not so black and white. I could not expect the love and admiration of a girl as troubled as she; I had taken everything from her.
I tore the cloak from my back and left it at the foot of a nearby tree, but not before catching and inhaling her scent that still lingered in its fibers. I low growl escaped my lips as I recalled the kiss and how her damp body had somehow felt destined to be forever bound to mine. But the memory of her immediate rejection following it stopped me short. I sent my fist into the twisting bark, sending a cascade of leaves tumbling down with the rain around me, landing silently in my hair and dangling in my fur collar. If Kili had a hair for every time that girl infuriated me he would have the longest beard in Erebor. The thought of my kingdom triggered something in me; and that same irrepressible feeling of lust resurfaced. The Arkenstone.
It was the one thing that made sense to me and brought an inner peace to my troubled mind. I had to return, to lay my eyes upon its immortal beauty, to cleanse myself in its merciful light. I decided right there that I would no longer allow anyone else to see it. Fili and Kili would not understand. I would remain firm and resolute in my decision; they would never know of its true origin, and continue to believe it as their family heirloom. I could not bear so see their faces if they ever knew what I had done, what this, this sickness had done.
Just then the dagger that had been placed in my lower belt jabbed me and I was forced to bring my thoughts back to my charge. She could have been halfway to the Iron Hills by now and the strongest part of me was glad of it. Let her go! If her father dared to claim back what is rightfully mine I would show him the wrath of Durin and it's people! But I heard a smaller voice that ached inside hoping that by some small chance she would return to me; either willingly or because she had no where else to go. I clenched the hilt that she had only moments ago and that look she gave flashed before my eyes. How she had looked standing there, soaking wet, with her golden tresses darkened and plastered to her face. That feeling that welled up when she argued with such passion and ferocity.
But she would not have me.
I continued along, retracing my steps when suddenly my eyes rested on that same green material I had watched her admire and I made up my mind then.
***whew! So I would be much obliged if you let me know if I managed to murder Thorin's personality in this part! I will try to update more quickly this time too...***