Of UNO and Thunderstorms
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN LORD OF THE RINGS OR ANYTHING THAT I REFERENCE! I ONLY OWN MYSELF AND MY OCS! NATALIE AND FRANCESCA OWN THEMSELVES RESPECTIVELY!
Chapter Thirty Two
The Uruk Hai began to flee as the sun rose higher in the sky. They ran out of Helm's Deep and towards a forest that I know for a fact was not there before this battle started. I grinned as I remembered that the trees of Fangorn had business with these Uruk Hai. Gandalf, Aragorn, Kate, Legolas, me and all the Riders of Rohan rode after them to chase them out. Éomer suddenly rode out in front of all of us.
"Stay out of the forest! Keep away from the trees!" He shouted a warning to his men. I had a very difficult time keeping a silly, ridiculous grin off my face as we watched the Uruk Hai run head on into the trees. We all watched with varying degrees of shock, fear, confusion and, in the case of me and Kate, extreme amusement as the trees began to move. A split second after the forest came to life; the terrified dying screams of the Uruk Hai filled the air. I wanted to start laughing, but I didn't need the entirety of Rohan to know I was completely out of my mind.
"Trees go nom." Kate whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. I turned my face into my elbow and tried to pass off my hysterical laughter as a coughing fit. I looked at Legolas and nearly burst into laughter again at the look on his face. He looked like he wanted to laugh, but at the same time, was absolutely terrified.
Once the remaining Uruk Hai had been slaughtered by the trees, never thought I'd say that, we headed back to Helm's Deep to start the massive cleanup that needed to happen. I had found Cellyn once we were back inside and made sure his stab wound was properly looked at. As the healer was wrapping a bandage around the wound, I re-counted the story of the trees going nom to him, seeing as he hadn't been there. I know he wanted to laugh, but was scolded by the healer when he did, seeing as it messed up the wrapping of the bandages.
I left Cellyn to get some rest and looked around for Gimli and Legolas, knowing that they'd be telling each other how many Uruk Hai they'd killed. My final count totaled at 50. How the hell that happened, I don't think I'll ever know. But it happened nonetheless.
I had a big smile on my face as I walked up behind Gimli, who was sitting on a dead Uruk Hai smoking his pipe. His axe was embedded in the Uruk Hai's skull. I walked up next to Gimli and sat myself down on the ground, smiling at Legolas as he walked over to us.
"Final count, forty-two." Legolas stated, trying to look nonchalant about it. I bit back a grin. "Forty two? That's not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. I myself am sitting pretty on forty-three." Gimli replied. Legolas gave him a look. I'm going to say he was a little bit offended by the princeling comment. Never let it be said that I have no self control. It took all my willpower not to grin like a freaking moron and/or burst out laughing at what happened next.
Legolas responded to this by quickly drawing an arrow and shooting the Uruk Hai that Gimli was sitting on. "Forty-three." He smirked. "He was already dead." Gimli protested. "He was twitching." Legolas argued. "He was twitching…because he's got my axe, embedded in his nervous system!" Gimli took the handle of his axe and moved it around, causing the dead Uruk Hai to twitch and move around.
I couldn't take it anymore; I threw my head back and laughed, almost falling over in the process. Gimli turned and looked at me like I had lost my mind. Which, of course, I have; but that's not my point. Legolas smirked and raised an eyebrow at me, clearly amused.
"What is so funny?" Legolas asked as my laughter died down to snickering. "Nothing." I smiled. "You are a bad liar, lass." Gimli commented, smiling. "Alright, alright. I'm just saying, you two bickering is pretty funny to watch sometimes." I put my hands up as a sign of peace. Legolas smiled and rolled his eyes and Gimli shook his head. I made a face at them both.
"And what was your final count?" Gimli asked, remembering that I hadn't told them yet. I failed at containing the huge smile that spread across my face. Legolas looked a little confused and Gimli looked at me expectantly. "Fifty." I answered. Both of them looked surprised and Gimli muttered something about being outscored by a 'pointy-ear'. I laughed at that.
"That's pretty impressive. I got forty-six in case anyone's wondering." Kate stated as she walked up next to Legolas. I grinned and walked over to stand by my sister, who hugged me tightly. I winced as my shoulder started hurting again and hoped Kate or Legolas didn't notice. Obviously that didn't work. "What's wrong?" Kate asked, pulling back but keeping her hands on my shoulders.
"Nothing." I answered. Kate and Legolas both gave me 'Oh really?' looks and I sighed in defeat. "The cut on my shoulder got re-opened during the battle. It hurts pretty badly but I'm fine." I said quickly. Kate sighed and shook her head, letting go of my shoulders.
"Come with me, Olympia. We must have your wound checked by a healer." Legolas told me, examining my injured shoulder. "It's not really that bad." I replied as I watched Legolas. "Oh just go get it checked out, will you?" Kate added. "Alright, alright." I responded. Kate then took my good arm and dragged me away. Legolas followed right behind us.
After everything had calmed down a bit, I stood with the hobbits in the water and we looked up to Saruman's tower. He and Wormtongue were standing on the balcony, attempting to figure out what the hell just happened. I smirked to myself. I knew where in the movie we were and that soon enough, Gandalf, Theoden and my friends would be here. I hadn't seen them in what felt like forever. I wondered if I had missed anything important.
"He doesn't look too happy, does he?" Merry asked, observing Saruman. "Not too happy at all Merry." Pippin replied. "Still, I suppose the view would be quite nice from up there." Merry commented. "Oh yes, it's a quality establishment. I hear the staff are very good." Pippin stated, not taking his eyes away from the tower. Behind him, Merry tried to measure and compare their heights to see if he was taller. I chuckled a bit.
"What are you doing?" Pippin asked. Merry scratched his head. Nice save. I thought. "Nothing. The world's back to normal, that's all." Merry answered. "No it isn't. I'm starving." Pippin commented. I rolled my eyes. Yep, everything's back to normal. The Uruk Hai are gone from Isengard and Pippin's hungry and thinking about food again. Mission fucking accomplished. I thought.
"Good luck trying to find something decent around here; probably only dead rats and moldy bread." Merry told him as he rummaged through a basket that had floated by. Just then, Pippin noticed an apple floating by and grinned. There was a trail of apples in the water which we all began following eagerly. Merry picked up a bottle of wine nearby, and Pippin found a whole roast chicken and put it in an apple basket. I took an apple from said basket and bit into it.
We came to the end of the food trail and found ourselves in Saruman's storeroom. I grinned. All around us there were various kinds of foods, most of which had somehow survived the floods. I was still staring at the food when the hobbits discovered barrels on nearby shelves. Holy shit! More barrels! Noo! I thought. Both hobbits stared at the barrels in awe.
"I don't believe it." Pippin said, wide-eyed. "It can't be." Merry stated. They quickly opened up one of the barrels to find that it was full of pipe-weed from the Shire. "It is!" Pippin exclaimed. "Longbottom Leaf. The finest pipe-weed in South Farthing." Merry inhaled deeply, sniffing the leaves. Oh great, hobbits on weed. This should be interesting at the least. Pippin then shoved one of the two barrels at Merry.
"It's perfect. One barrel for each. Wait. Do you think we should share it with Treebeard?" Pippin asked. "Pippin, I highly doubt that Treebeard smokes." I commented. "Share it? No. No. Dead plant and all that. Don't think he'd understand. Could be a distant relative." Merry elaborated. "Oh, I get it. Don't be hasty." Pippin stated, tapping his nose. "Exactly." Merry replied after drawing his pipe. I sat down on one of the boxes and finished off my apple. Merry then proceeded to imitate the sound Treebeard makes, sending all three of us into hysterical fits of laughter.
Faramir had been leading us through the ruins of Osgiliath for a bit. Soon, we stopped at a tunnel that was big enough for us hobbits to walk through standing up straight.
"This is the old sewer. Runs right under the river through the edge of the city. You'll find cover in the woods there." Faramir explained quickly. "Captain Faramir…you've shown your quality, sir. The very highest." Sam told him. Then Faramir grinned. I shit you not; there was a huge grin on his face. "The Shire must truly be a great realm, where gardeners are held in high honor." He stated. Sam looked a bit sheepish. I smiled, but said nothing.
"What road will you take once you reach the woods?" Faramir asked Frodo. "Gollum says there's a path, near Minas Morgul, that climbs up into the mountains." Frodo answered. "Cirith Ungol?" Faramir sounded surprised and a bit worried. Gollum tried to sneak away at this, but Faramir grabbed him and pinned him up against a wall, by the throat.
"Is that its name?" Faramir asked, glaring at Gollum. "No. No!" Gollum told him. Faramir tightened his grip on Gollum's throat, knowing he was completely full of shit. "Yes!" Gollum wailed. Faramir turned his head towards Frodo. "Frodo, they say a dark terror lies in the passes above Minas Morgul. You cannot go that way." Faramir warned. "It is the only way. Master says we must go to Mordor, so we must try." Gollum choked out. Faramir looked back to Frodo.
"I must." Frodo confirmed. Faramir threw Gollum to the ground. Gollum coughed and held his throat. I felt no pity for him. "Go Frodo. Go with the goodwill of all Men." Faramir told Frodo. "Thank you." Frodo said and we headed into the sewers.
"Come on, keep up." Sam called to Gollum a little while later. I heard a thud and turned back to see Gollum on the ground. "Mr. Frodo didn't mean for them Rangers to hurt you. You know that, don't you? He was trying to save you, see?" Sam told Gollum. "Save me?" Gollum asked. "So there's no hard feelings; forgive and forget." Sam continued. "No, no, no hard feelings." Gollum then coughed a loud nasty cough that made my throat hurt just to hear. "Yes, master. Nice Hobbits." Gollum stated. "That's very decent of you. Very decent indeed, Gollum." Sam commented as we continued through the tunnels. What the hell just happened? I wondered.
After getting patched up by the same healer who had treated my shoulder the first time, I went with Legolas and Kate to the stables. It had been decided that we would ride to Isengard to see what was going on. I grinned as we prepared to go. We'd be seeing Natalie, Merry, and Pippin soon enough. And then, of course, we'd be coming back to Rohan to celebrate the victory at Helm's Deep. That meant mainly drinking and partying. Fun. Note the sarcasm.
Within an hour or so, everyone going to Isengard was ready and we left. Gandalf stopped us at the top of a hill near Helm's Deep. "Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift. The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle Earth is about to begin." Gandalf stated. We looked over the land and saw Mordor in the distance. I shuddered at the sight. "All our hopes now lie with three little hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness." Gandalf concluded. And with that, we were off again. I smiled most of the way. We were about to see Natalie again. I couldn't wait; I'd missed her a lot. But at the same time, I didn't want to see what kind of depressed state we would find her in. To say she would still be upset about Boromir would be an enormous understatement. Legolas apparently saw the look on my face and rode up next to me.
"What troubles you, my love?" he asked. I smiled a little bit. "Nothing. I'm just worrying about Natalie. She watched Boromir die and to say she's upset is a huge understatement. Obviously Kate and I are going to try to help her; I just don't know how we're going to accomplish that. I hate to see my friends so upset." I explained. Legolas nodded in understanding. "You will think of something, Olympia." He told me, leaning over to kiss my cheek. I blushed and started humming to myself.
We had eventually made it out of the sewers and were back in the forest. We walked for a while in silence. Quite frankly I was just glad to be outside again after the sewers. It was pretty nasty in there. I knew there would be nastier things to come on this quest but seriously; have you ever walked through old abandoned sewers? It's not fun.
"I wonder if we'll ever be put into songs or tales." Sam stated to break the silence. I smiled, knowing full well that we would be. "What?" Frodo asked, turning to look back at him. "I wonder if people will ever say, 'Let's hear about Frodo and the Ring' and then they'll say, 'Yes that's one of my favorite stories.'." Sam stated. I smiled.
"'Frodo was really courageous wasn't he, dad?'" I quoted, joining the fun. "'Yes, my girl. The most famousest of Hobbits. And that's saying a lot.'" Sam stated, changing the quote seeing as I'm not a 'lad'. "Well you've left out one of the chief characters. 'Samwise the Brave' I want to hear more about Sam. Frodo wouldn't have gotten far without Sam." Frodo added. "Now Mr. Frodo you shouldn't make fun. We were being serious." Sam told him. "So was I Sam." Frodo replied and continued walking. "Samwise the Brave." Sam murmured as we walked.
"Hmm. What would people call me?" I wondered out loud. If we were going to be put into songs and legends and whatnot, I wanted a cool name like Samwise the Brave. Sam and Frodo both laughed. "Why you'd be 'Francesca the Fierce' of course." Frodo told me. I grinned. "Yes I think that would suit you quite well, Miss Francesca." Sam commented. I laughed. "Works for me." I told them.
Soon after that, Frodo noticed Gollum had gone missing. We stopped and looked around for a second before going to search for him, calling his name. After a few minutes, Gollum came out from freaking nowhere. "Come on Hobbits, long ways to go yet. Sméagol will show you the way." Gollum stated after his mysterious and random reappearance. And then we set off again.
Author's note: Well there you have it folks; Chapter Thirty Two. So ends 'The Two Towers'. There's only one more movie left to go now. Holy crap! Anyway, midterms week is almost over, I've just got one more tomorrow and that's it. Biology midterm, here I come! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!