Here is my newest chapter, and I have BIG plans for the chapter after this one :D (big plans for this one too)
SO anyway, Thank you so much everyone for reading and reviewing. It's amazing to think that people I don't even know are reading my story and enjoying it! I hope that I can become a better writer, and I hope I can get published. I have written a book, and now I'm just working on editing, then I'm going to try to get it published so I'm really excited about that! :DAnyway, thank you guys so much, and here's the chapter!
Song is "Distance" by Christina Perry, feat. Jason Mraz, and "Make you feel my love" by Adele.
Chapter Twenty: Broken hearts, and broken bones.
I remember taking Johanna to the train station and saying goodbye. Our conversation runs through my head as I walk along the beach.
"Are you sure you're well enough to go back home?"
She gives me a look.
"I'm fine Finnick, really."
I am hesitant, and she reads my thoughts.
"I'm not going to commit suicide alright?"
I pretend this wasn't what I was thinking, when in reality it was.
"I'm not afraid you'll do that."
She gives me her "oh really?" face, and I sigh.
"It's just...you did mention it several times, and how do I know you won't freak out again?"
She sighs, and shakes her head.
"How can I kill myself when Snow is still alive? He would just love that wouldn't he? No, now I am going to outlive him, living out my days knowing that everyday I have to live through the pain without Leo, he is one day closer to death. Oh yes, I won't be going anywhere for a while."
I shake my head.
"Well, I guess that makes enough sense to put me at ease."
"It should. I'll outlast him, you'll see. If I can't kill him, I'll just wait for him to die."
I sigh and glance at the train as it lets off a shrill whistle.
"It looks like they're ready to go. I'll see you soon okay?"
"Yeah, see you."
I give her a hug, and she kisses me lightly on the cheek.
"Remember what I told you."She whispers, then with a wave she boarded the train.
That was several days ago, and since she's left what she said is on repeat in my head.
"When we kiss, there isn't a spark, we can both enjoy the kiss, but without the spark it's nothing more than a kiss. I can just give you a kiss, but the one who holds the spark can give you their love, their pain, their hopes and dreams, their fears and worries, everything."
What was she getting at? maybe she was just trying to explain love to me. I don't know, she's weird, and most of the time doesn't seem to make sense, but then something will happen and you'll know exactly what she meant. That's why I like her, she's blunt but she leaves you wondering.
Today is Saturday, which means tonight is the school dance. Annie had said her and Heath would pick me up tonight, so that gives me all day to think about it. I sigh and kick the sand, sending it spraying in front of me. I pause in my walking, and tilt my head back with my eyes closed.
I want to go, I want to spend time with Annie, but it's going to be so awkward. She has a boyfriend, and a boyfriend I know nothing about. I chide myself for being suspicious of him, I'm just jealous because he took away my best friend. I should at least give him a chance, and if Annie likes him and is happy with him than I like him too. I sigh and continue walking.
Tonight will be a chance to start over, with Annie, and with Heath. I need to be friendly. I keep telling myself this, but I still frown every time I think about Heath. What kind of a name is Heath anyway? It sounds like it should be a candy. I grin and chuckle slightly as I imagine Heath being called candy.
"Well hello candy! How are you today?"
I laugh as I say this out loud, then I sigh and kick more sand. I'm being immature, I'm eighteen for goodness sakes, I should be old enough to act like an adult and be nice to people even if I don't really like them. I glance up at the sun, by the position it's in I would say it's around one o'clock. What do I have to do today besides get ready for the dance tonight? Nothing that I can think of, but then I remember I was planning on getting a present for Annie as a sort of peace-offering. I guess I should get something for Heath too, just so he won't think I'm trying to steal Annie. I don't want to leave the beach, but I turn around and start walking back.
I reach my house an hour or so later, and changing quickly I grab a handful of gold coins, and walk to the shopping center. I buy some stuff that I don't really need, and some stuff I do, I try to spread out my purchases to help everyone out. It takes me forever to find Annie the perfect gift, it has to say that I care and I'm trying to start over and make up for my mistakes. But it also has to seem like a personal gift. I walk into a small antique shop, and browse through the odds and ends piled all over.
"Need some help deary?"
I hear a quavery voice ask, I turn around and see a very old frail woman standing behind me. Her white hair is put in a long intricate braid down her back, and she's leaning on a polished driftwood cane.
"Um...I'm looking for something to give to my best friend, we just had a fight, and I need something to say I'm sorry."
The old woman's blue eyes sparkle as she smiles, she waves a hand for me to follow her, and starts hobbling towards the back room.
"You follow Mimsy now, I have just what you need."
I follow Mimsy to the back room, and wait as she rummaged around for a little while.
She says triumphantly as she holds up a small wooden box. She blows a cloud of dust off it, and I cough several times, waving my hand to dissipate the cloud. She hobbles over to the counter and sets the box down on it. She pushes it towards me.
"Go on, open it up now."
I lift the clasp, and pull up the lid. I gasp in surprise.
"It's...it's perfect."She laughs and leans on the counter, looking at the box. Inside laying on dark blue velvet is a bracelet. It's made of a soft leather type material, and it's woven into a weave that resembles what I think are called celtic knots. All around in the the loops formed by the weave, are small gold hoops.
"What are the hoops for?"
Mimsy picks up the bracelet, and hold it on her palm, pointing out the hoops.
"These here? They're for hanging charms on. This is a charm bracelet, what you do is you get different charms and hang them on the bracelet, each charm represents something special to the wearer, something personal. That way when they wear it they will think about those things. You can make the bracelet about one specific thing, or lots of different memories."
She passes the bracelet to me, and I hold it carefully. The leather is soft, not tough like most leather. The weave is about an inch thick, and it has a flat gold clip to open it.
"Where do you get the charms?"
I ask. Mimsy lights up and reaches underneath the counter. She pulls out a large box, and dumps its contents on the counter. Small silver charms scatter all across the counter, and I have to stop several from falling off.
"I have any kind you could think of, and each one can represent something different."The bracelet can hold ten charms on it, and it takes me forever to choose the perfect ones. I finally decide on ten, and hold them in my hand.
"How much for these?"
I ask Mimsy, holding up the bracelet and charms. She thinks for a minute, tapping her chin. I dig in my pocket and pull out fifteen gold coins, I set them on the counter.
"Would that cover it?"
Mimsy's eyes grow wide, and she shakes her head.
"Oh no, that's too much."
"Really? After all you've done to help me, I would say it barely covers the expenses."
"Consider the extra a thank you from me."
She finally slides the coins into her apron pocket, and smiles widely.
"Thank you very much deary, if you ever need anything else just ask old Mimsy."I smile.
"Thank you for everything. Have a good day."She waves.
"And you too."I walk quickly to my house, and hurry upstairs. I dump my purchases on the bed, and sit on the edge as I start clipping the charms on the bracelet.
First is a small letter 'R' which of course stands for Robbert, the one I put next to this one is the image of a fin sitting on top of water, this is to remind her of me, even if she doesn't call me Finn anymore. The next one is a pair of palm trees, like the ones at my old hideout where we spent many afternoons playing. The fourth charm is a small pearl, which is what Annie's father used to call her before he died. Number five is a real starfish, tiny and light pink, this reminds me of a day Annie and I spent at the beach, there had been a big storm and there were hundreds of starfish on the beach. I had dozed off on the beach, and I woke up to find Annie had stuck tons of them to me. It took me forever to get them off, and to this day I don't like starfish. Charm six is a small shooting star, just like the ones we saw that night by the fountain. Seven is a polished piece of driftwood carved to look like a dolphin, this represents the time I woke Annie up at two o'clock in the morning, she was really angry with me as I dragged her down to the beach, but I wouldn't tell her why, she was very surprised to find a giant pod of dolphins was playing around in the shallows, there were thousands of them, and we spent the early hours before dawn swimming with them. Eight is a small silver tear drop, to remind her of all the tears we've shed together, and the charm I put directly next to that is a small sun, to remind her that no matter what happens, the sun always shines again. The last charm I put on, is the most important, it's the gold trident that has hung around my neck since she gave it to me. I keep the gold chain around my neck, and attach the trident to the last loop.
I hold up the completed bracelet, and look at all the charms before placing it back in its box and setting the box on the nightstand. I glance at the clock, and decide to start getting ready. I can't believe it's four o'clock, it took me almost three hours to get all my shopping done. I search my closet, and find shoved in the back a suit, I knew I had at least one, and I pull it out and examine it.
It's a three piece black suit, and I decide to just wear the pants and vest, leaving the jacket hanging up, I dress quickly, choosing a coral dress shirt to go underneath the vest. I find a pair of black dress shoes in the closet as well, and soon I am ready to go, quickly running a brush through my hair. SInce I've been to the capitol so much, I am kept in perfectly styled condition, so it doesn't take much for my hair to look perfect. Not that I care that much, I actually prefer its natural wavy slightly shaggy look. But apparently this isn't acceptable in the capitol something about being to natural looking.
I hear the doorbell ring, and hurry downstairs, almost forgetting to grab the box off the nightstand. I decide to give it to Annie when we have a moment alone. I open the door and Annie and Heath are standing there. Heath is dressed in a charcoal grey suit, with a blue shirt underneath. Annie is dressed in a very pretty navy blue dress. It has a V neck that is flattering, without being immodest, the fabric around the bust is gathered to the left, and ends at the empire waist. The empire waist is created by a thick band of fabric, and the rest of the dress hangs in a waterfall to the middle of her shins. She's wearing a pair of black sandals with lots of straps and a small heal. All of her hair is pulled back in a fancy twist, and she has just the highlights of makeup on.
"Hey, you guys look great."
Heath smiles, and shakes my hand.
"I only look good because I have Annie with me."
Annie shakes her head and smiles at me.
"Oh hush, you're very good-looking Heath. You look very nice too Finnick."
I smile at her.
"Thank's Annie. Oh Heath, I have something for you."He raises his eyebrows as I hand him a small bag, he opens it curious, and smiles.
"Awesome! Check it out babe!"
He says excited as he shows Annie. It's a silver shark, life-like to the last little detail. I smile at his excitement.
"I thought you might like that, it's also a flask."
He looks confused for a minute.
"Here, twist the tail."
He does, and grins in surprise as the tail twists off.
"It's hollow inside so you can keep stuff to drink in it."
"That's totally sweet! Thank's man."
"Well I figured if you're dating my best friend then we should be friend too, consider this a peace-offering, I wasn't feeling like myself at the beach party."He slides the flask into his pocket and smiles.
"Don't worry about it, we all get our bad days."Annie gives me a small smile, happy to see I'm making an effort to get along with Heath.
"Shall we go? The dance is going to start soon."Heath nods.
"Oh yeah! We should, come on."The school isn't far, and we reach it soon. I can hear festive music, and laughter. I follow Annie and Heath since I haven't been to the school in years. The dance is hosted in a large classroom that they use for exercise, they've cleared it out and set up tables along one wall with punch and snacks. There's a stage set up on the other end of the room, and several students are up there with different instruments, providing the music for the party. The rest of the room is open for dancing or talking.
Heath has had is arm around Annie's waist since my house, and I frown at him behind his back.
"Hey babe I'm going to get a drink, you want one?"
Heath asks Annie, she nods.
Heath bends down and kisses her.
"Okay, be right back."
He starts making his way through the crowd to the giant bowl of punch. I walk up beside Annie, and watch the couples dancing."Some party."
She turns to look at me, and smiles.
"I'm glad you came."I smile back.
"I'm glad too."
She brushes her hand against her tightly pulled back hair out of habit, used to it being always in her face.
"You have all your hair up."
I remark as if noticing for the first time. She smiles slightly.
"Uh, yeah. Heath says he doesn't like when it's all in my face, he says he doesn't like hair in his face when he kisses me."
I nod slowly.
She laughs slightly.
"Oh? What's that supposes to mean?"
"Nothing. I just like when your hair is all over the place, but I'm not your boyfriend so it doesn't matter."
She looks up at me.
"You like when my hair looks like it was just in a tornado?"
"That's one of the things that makes you, you, and besides, it's a very pretty tornado."
She laughs, and then sighs.
Heath walks back up, and kisses Annie before handing her a glass full of punch.
"Here you go babe. You look so beautiful tonight."
Heath turns to me.
"Hey Finnick you don't mind if Annie and I dance do you?"
I shake my head.
"Not at all, that's what we're here for isn't it? I think I'm going to get something to eat so go right ahead."
Heath turns to Annie.
"What do you say babe? Wanna dance?"
"Here let me hold your drinks."
I offer, they thank me and after handing off their glasses, Heath pulls Annie out onto the dance floor. I walk over and set their drinks on an empty table, and walk over to the snack table.
They have different cheese and crackers, fruit and baskets of District four's signature seaweed roll. I pick up a roll and a slice of cheese, turning around and watching the dancers. I spot Heath and Annie towards the center of the floor, Annie has her arms loosely around Heath's neck, and he has his arms wrapped low on her waist. Annie looks so happy, that I scold myself for not approving, she's happy and that's all that matters.
"Hey."I hear a voice say behind me. I turn around and smile. There's a very attractive blonde standing behind me. She's dressed in a tight black dress that reaches mid-thigh, she's wearing a pair of red heals, with matching red jewelry.
"Hello."I say with a charming smile. She giggles slightly.
"I can't imagine Finnick Odair wouldn't have a date, so where is she?"
"Well I guess you were wrong, I don't have a date tonight."
"I just might have to fix that."
I grin and offer my arm.
"Would you like a dance?"
She slips her arm through mine, and I lead her to the dance floor. We pass a group of several girls, and they all stare with open mouths. My dance partner giggles and gives them a "I know!" look. They all glare at her enviously, and watch as we start dancing.
"So you know my name, what's yours?"
She says with a smile. I smile back and twirl her.
"That's a very pretty name, for a pretty girl."She blushes, and giggles slightly.
"I didn't embarrass you did I?"
I ask with a grin. She shakes her head.
"Not at all. I can't believe I'm dancing with Finnick Odair."
She says excitedly. I laugh and shake my head.
"I'm highly overrated."
She looks me over and smiles.
"Oh I wouldn't say that, if anything they didn't do you justice."
I laugh, inwardly shaking my head. Why can't people see the capitol has built me up into whatever they wanted, they never show anything but my good side, they don't show when I'm angry, there are no interviews that say I have nightmares every night, nowhere is it mentioned that I am a sad broken soul, who puts on a happy face for the crowd, and like a puppet does whatever I'm told.
"So what are you doing here anyway? You don't go to school."
"True. My friend invited me, she thought it might be fun."
Kimmy raises an eyebrow.
"Oh? Should I be worried about competition?"
"Not at all, she has a boyfriend."Kimmy shakes her head.
"She is friends with Finnick Odair and she goes for someone else?"
I glance over at Heath and Annie dancing, and the smile fades from my face.
"That's the thing, we're just friends."
Kimmy shakes her head again as if she doesn't understand.
"Oh well lucky for me than."I look away from Annie and back to Kimmy with a smile.
"I guess that's one way of looking at it."After a minute, the dance ends, and I thank Kimmy.
"I'll catch you later?"
She asks. I nod and shrug.
"You never know."
She smiles and runs over to her friends, squealing and jumping up and down as she tells them all the details. I shake my head at them and turn to find Heath and Annie. It's like I can feel with Annie is, because the first direction I take leads me directly to her.
"Hey Annie. Where's Heath?"
Annie turns to face me and smiles.
"Oh Heath? He went to the restroom. I saw you dancing with Kimmy."
She adds with a tease. I glance back at Kimmy, and she waves to me, I wave back which sends her group into giggles. I turn back to Annie with a grimace.
"She's nice."I say unconvincing. She laughs.
"She's queen of the pep team."I wrinkle my nose.
Annie nods and laughs again at my face. I smile, happy that I am able to make her laugh again.
"Listen Annie, I wanted to apologize again for being a jerk lately."She shakes her head.
"There's no need Finnick, You've already apologized...several times."
I smile and reach in my pocket.
"Yes. But I feel like I need to apologize again."
I pull out the box, and hand it to her.
"This is for you."She takes the box carefully, and looks up at me.
"Finnick you don't need to..."I shake my head with a smile.
"I want to. Please take it."
She opens the box slowly, and her eyes widen as she gasps. She slowly lifts up the bracelet.
She breathes, looking at the charms.
"Do you like it?"
She can't take her eyes off it, and she just nods. She spots the trident, and glances to my neck.
"Finnick, I didn't know you still had this."She says reaching up to touch the gold chain around my neck. I feel a slight buzzing where her fingers brushed my skin, and my heart speeds up slightly.
"I've never taken it off. I figured now you could keep a part of me with you too."
She looks back at the bracelet.
"Finnick I don't know what to say."
"What does it make you think of?"
She laughs as she sees the starfish.
"I had forgotten about that day, you had sucker marks on your skin for days afterwards."
I glare at her.
"I'm still bitter about that."
She smiles, and looks through the charms. Her eyes grow sad when she sees the 'R' and she smiles.
"now I have Robbert too."
She finds the pearl, and her eyes fill with tears.
She says quietly. Then she looks up and hugs me tightly.
She says quietly in my ear. I smile, and hold her tightly.
She releases me, and wipes her eyes quickly.
"Can you help me put it on?"
"It doesn't match your outfit."
She looks down at her dress and shakes her head.
"I don't care. Come on help me."
She holds out her arm, and I fasten the bracelet around wrist. It fits snugly, but not tight. The charms hang towards her elbow, and the clasp is resting against the inside of her wrist.
She looks around.
"Where's Heath? I want to show him."
I look around the large room, getting a better view than Annie because I'm much taller.
"I don't see him."
"He should have been back by now..."
I glance down and smile.
"I'm sure he'll be here soon. Do you want me to go look for him?"
Annie glances around, hesitating before nodding slowly.
"Could you just check around real quick? I'll look around here a little more."
"I'll be back soon."I walk towards the door that leads to the rest of the school, and check the boys bathroom. He's not there so I start looking through the rest of the school. I walk past a hallway, then I pause, and back up. My mouth drops, and I shout.
He breaks off from passionately making out with some girl in a pink dress. His eyes open wide when he sees me, and he looks quickly back and forth from me and the girl.
"Finnick! I...was just...um..."I storm down the hall and stand in front of him, eyes blazing. I can feel arena Finnick starting to take over.
"What the %#$$ do you think you're doing?!"
He swallows nervously.
"Um..."He trails off, and I grind my teeth together.
"Have you suddenly developed short-term memory loss? You have a girlfriend! Who just so happens to be my best friend!"
The girl in the pink dress looks at Heath with disgust.
"You have a girlfriend?"
He doesn't say anything, and she slaps him, and calls him a colorful name. Then she turns to me.
"Sorry about your friend...I didn't know."
I don't take my eyes off Heath as I reply.
"That's okay, it wasn't your fault."
She walks away, and I hear a door open and shut as she exits. Heath seems to have a bit more confidence now.
"I'm waiting Heath."I say, grinding out his name between gritted teeth. He acts defensive.
"Hey a guy's got needs."
I frown, and raise my voice almost to a shout.
"What the %#$$ is that supposed to mean?!"He raises his hands placating.
"Don't get me wrong, Annie is beautiful and I love her, but there's certain things she's not willing to do. Like I said, a guy's got needs."
He adopts a friendly attitude, and slaps my shoulder.
"You get it right?"
He says with a grin. I nod.
"Oh yeah, I get it."He doesn't have time to react as I slam my fist into his nose. His head flies back and hits the wall, and he holds a hand to his bleeding nose as he shouts.
"Hey! What the-"
I cut him off before he can say anything else, standing right in front of him, my whole body quivering with fury.
"I get that you are an #$$! How dare! You say that you love Annie! You could never deserve her! She is beautiful, smart, funny, she is everything good! And if you really did love her, you would have spent every single moment of every single day thinking up new ways to make her smile! Thinking of special things to do for her! You would notice all the little things that make her beautiful! Like how her hair flies around in untamable waves! The wrinkles she gets in her nose when she smiles! You don't love her because if you did you would have rather died than ever, ever hurt her!"
He stares at me with fear in his eyes, holding his broken nose. I grab the front of his shirt, and bring my face close to his, lowering my voice to a dangerous growl.
"If you ever go anywhere near her again. I will hunt you down and kill you. Understand?"
He nods quickly, and I release his shirt and step back.
"Get out of here before I change my mind and kill you right here!"
He takes off at a run, ducking out a door at this end of the hall. I take several deep breaths, and force myself to calm down. I turn to go back the way I came, and freeze. Annie is standing at the far end of the hall, staring with shock at the door Heath just ran out of.
Her gaze moves to me, and for a moment, I can see the light reflecting off the tears in her eyes. She turns around and runs down the hall.
I call as I start running after her. She runs into the main room, and I am through the door a second later. I look around, trying to find her. Suddenly I see the girl in the pink dress that was with Heath. She catches my gaze.
"Was she his girlfriend?"
She asks guiltily. I nod.
"Where did she go?"
She points out a side door. I thank her and hurry across to the door. Once I'm outside, I know exactly where Annie is going. I reach the beach and break into a run, and soon I can see the wreck up ahead. It's an old fishing boat that was wrecked on the reef, a storm washed the wreck high up on the shore, and it's remained there for years. People usually stay away from it, not knowing if it will collapse or not. This is the boat Annie's father was on when he died. He stayed aboard to help get the rest of the crew off, he managed to save all but one other man before the wreck went under. Annie told me the story after we had known each other a few years, and she took me to see the wreck.
I slow to a walk, and carefully approach the upturned hull. I can hear Annie sobbing, and it doesn't take me long to find her sitting among several barrels.
"I guess you can say I told you so now."
Annie says between her tears, lifting her face to look at me.
"You warned me about him...and I didn't listen...so go ahead and say it."
I slide down and sit next to her, I turn to look at her.
She flings her arms around me and buries her face in my neck, sobbing brokenly. I wrap my arms tightly around her, and whisper quietly in her ear.
"He could never deserve you."
I can feel her tears soaking my shoulder and neck, and her shoulders shake as she sobs.
"I was happy..."
I shake my head.
"You could never really be happy with a jerk like him."
She sniffs loudly.
"Well I thought I was happy."I sigh.
"I guess you're stuck with a jerk like me for a friend."
She pulls away slightly, and shakes her head.
"I don't deserve you as a friend. Sure you act like a jerk sometimes, but you care about me and you've always been there for me. Then the one time you weren't there, I completely pushed you away like a spoiled little girl."
I wipe away her tears and smile.
"Maybe we are being punished by being friends."
She smiles slightly, and kisses my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. Then she wraps her arms around me again.
"Thank you for being such a good friend Finnick."
I hold her tightly, and whisper gently.
"I'll be here for you forever."