We have been in the car ALL day, driving home from our vacation. (ten hours whew!)
Anyway, I am writing this in the car, and I will hopefully post this chapter when we get home and get internet.
So! Sorry for the wait, I know you guys are eager to get the story moving along.
But hey! We get to see Johanna for a little while so that's got to be worth something :) If you're a Johanna fan, which I am.
Anyway, here it is, and I'll try to write long chapters that span over the victory tour so that we can get back home. Oh and lots of drama coming up. I think I'm going to have a time lapse thing where we'll skip over a few years. Because otherwise I've got to write for...like three more years, which will take a while :D So just stay tuned for anything.
Song for this chapter is... "Poker Face" by Lady GaGa.
I know another song that doesn't seem like it fits, but I was listening to it the other day, and it kind of made me think of how Johanna always has a "poker face" and she never lets anyone see past it. plus it says "can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face. She's just got to love nobody" Which for me is saying. "I can't let Finnick read my Poker face." And "She's just got to love nobody" reminds me of how she pretends not to care about anyone, and in "Catching Fire" she tells Katniss, "There's no one left that I love" So anyway, here's the chapter.
Chapter Nine: Districts one through five.
The next morning, I'm woken up by a knock on my door. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes, then I slide out of bed and go open the door.
Johanna is standing nervously in the hall. She's still wearing what she was last night, and her bandages are still around her shins and wrists.
She stammers, then bites her lip. I pull the door open wider, and step to the side.
She pulls at the edge of her bandages as she walks into the room. I close the door then walk over and sit on the foot of the bed. Johanna stands avoiding my gaze, she chews distractedly at the edge of her right wrist bandage.
"Do you want to sit down?"
I ask. She walks over and sits on my right side. After several minutes Johanna finally breaks the silence.
"I just wanted to...thank you...for last night."
She she says slowly. She looks down at her bandaged wrists.
After a moment's pause I ask gently.
"You had a nightmare last night didn't you? That's why you knocked over the lamp and fell on the glass."
She nods slowly, pulling on a loose string.
"It's stupid...to be scared of dead people."
I shake my head.
"It's not stupid."
She rolls her eyes.
"Yeah right. You probably never have bad dreams."
I turn to look at her, and reply quietly.
"It's a rare night when my sleep isn't interrupted by nightmares."
She doesn't say anything, but for a moment I can see relief in her eyes. relief that someone else knows what she's going through, that she's not alone.
"So the great Finnick Odair has nightmares too. Imagine that."
She smirks, and shakes her head.
"Well thanks again for last night."
She says as she stands up. I shrug.
"You're welcome. I'll see you later."
She nods. Then turns and walks out, closing the door behind her.
I stare at the door for a minute, then I shake my head.
"I'll probably never understand her."
I mutter under my breath as I stand up and walk to the bathroom to take a shower.
Later that day we arrive in district one, where we go through the whole victory speech, then we go to dinner and I go on a "date" After that we board the train and it's off to another district.
I've been gone for about a week when we arrive at district four. Unfortunately I don't have time to see Annie or anyone else, but I know they were probably in the square when Johanna gave her speech, so that comforts me.
It's wierd going on a "date" in district four. This was my safe haven, the one place where I could be free from capitol Finnick. I tell myself it doesn't matter how it makes me feel, because I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing this for Annie.
It's over soon enough and we are back on the road and within a couple of days we are at district five which isn't very memorable, and then back on the train again.
It's a tired routine; ride on train, stop at district, watch Joahnna do her speech, go to dinner, get back on train.
Johanna and I have gotten to know each other more, and I've discovered that she can be a very likable person if she wants to be, but she's scared to let anyone in her shell.
She confessed that her father is still alive, but he's an abusive drunk. Her mother did die while giving birth to Leo, and Johanna now lives with Leo in district sevens victor village, she says she hasn't seen her dad since her games.
"I don't ever want to see him again, he used to beat Leo when we were little and I hate him."
I feel bad for her, she's always had to look out for herself, she's never had someone who cared about her. I think the truth behind Johanna Mason is that she had to grow up and face the cruel world on her own, and that's why she is so quick to prove that she can take care of herself.
We won't arrive in district six until the day after tomorrow, and it's getting late. Dinner ended a little while ago, and Johanna and I have just been killing time. Finally after the hundredth yawn, I decide to turn in for the night.
"Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight Jo."
She wrinkles her nose at me.
I grin and walk to my room. She started calling me by my last name when I started calling her Jo, I don't mind and I know she doesn't mind me calling her Jo.
I pull off my shirt and pull on a pair of sweat pants, then I walk over and sit on the edge of my bed. That's when I realize something.
I'm going to miss Annie's birthday, I had almost forgotten that the victory tour happens around her birthday. That's when I realize I didn't do anything for my birthday which was a month or so ago.
It seems weird to think that I'm seventeen, and Annie is going to be fifteen! It seems like yesterday we were just little kids playing on the beach. We've been through a lot together.
I realize the reason I missed my birthday was because of Bruce's death, that threw me off for a while. I guess I just didn't really think about my birthday.
Wait...I think I remember something about a cake at the Cresta's...maybe I just don't remember it. Oh well, I'll do something special with Annie when I get back.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. It's probably Johanna, she has a bad habit of waking me up at weird hours to tell me random stuff. I sigh, and stand up.
"Johanna what do you want?"
I say loud enough so she can hear through the door. Before I can get an answer I open the door. Sure enough, Johanna is standing in the doorway dressed in sweatpants and a camisole.
"Did I wake you?"
She asks, I shake my head.
"What do you want?"
She shifts on her feet slightly, biting her lip which is a sign that she wants to tell me something."Can I come in?"
I shrug, and open the door wider. She walks in and immediately goes over and sits on the end of the bed. I close the door and join her on the bed.
"Do you want to tell me something?"
I ask slowly. She nods.
She plays with the hem of her camisole as she chews on the corner of her lip.
"Well...I wanted to...I've been trying to tell you...um..."
I sigh and rub my eyes, then I turn to face her.
"What is it Johanna? Just spit it out. What do you want to tell me?"
Never in a million years would I have ever guessed what happened next.
Johanna grabs my face in her hands, and kisses me.
What happens next is even more strange, and I'll never be able to explain it.
I kissed her back.
I gently slide my hand against her cheek, and curl my fingers around the back of her neck. She has one of her hands on the back of my neck, and the other one tangled in my hair.
After a moment, she pulls away.
She stands up, walks to the door, opens it and walks out, closing it behind her.
I sit staring into space for a long time. What just happened? What was that? Why did she kiss me? And the more troubling question; why did I kiss her back? Is that what she was trying to tell me? That she liked me? As odd as the possibility seems, she did kiss me. Maybe she kissed me just to do it, that seems like something she would do. But why did I kiss her back?
I don't know how long I spend trying to rationalize and explain what happened, but eventually I lay down and fall asleep.
My dream is probably the weirdest I've ever had, and I've had some pretty strange ones.
I'm standing on a train that is sitting perfectly still on a beach. The train is cut in half, so one whole side is open to the beach. The train and beach are both empty, and the silence is nerve-wracking.
I wander around for a little while, stepping off the train, climbing back on, stepping off again, exploring inside the train, and examining the beach around the train. I'm reluctant to leave the train, and once I'm on the beach, I don't want to get back on the train. So I stay close to both, and sit on the open side of the train with my feet touching the beach.
Time passes strangely in dreams, and I don't know if it's seconds or years later when I finally hear something besides me breathing.
The voice floats across the beach, hovering on the still air.
I call out, unable to move now. I see her walking along the beach, looking around.
She calls again, drawing the word out.
She turns to face me, and smiles when she sees me.
"What are you doing there? We hate anything to do with the capitol remember?"
I look back at the very capitol train, then back at Annie.
"I know we do...I don't know why I'm here."
She laughs, and shrugs.
"Well it doesn't matter now. Come with me, we'll go look for shells at Calypso's cliff."
I smile, and stand up, then I walk over to Annie.
"I'm so glad you're here, things have been really weird lately."
I say as I reach her. She smiles, and holds out her hand. I reach out to take it, and suddenly I'm standing back on the train, and Annie is gone.
I shout, but my feet seem to be glued to the train floor.
I hear a sound behind me, and I turn around.
"Why are you looking for her? You know she's back in district four."
Johanna is standing in the middle of the train car I'm standing in. I turn back around, and the beach is gone.
"What was I doing?"
I ask slowly, my memory suddenly fuzzy. Johanna shrugs and walks over to me.
"I don't know."
She stands close to me, and slides her hand into mine.
"Do you like me Odair?"
I blink several times. What is going on? I can't think straight. Johanna stretches up on tiptoe, and brings her lips close to mine, whispering quietly.
"You want to kiss me again don't you?"
I'm about to kiss her, when I hear something behind me. I open my eyes, and spin around. Annie is standing behind me looking hurt.
"Finn! What are you doing?"
I want to run over and hug her, but I'm stuck and my legs refuse to move.
"Odair, what is she doing here? I thought you were just friends."
I stammer for a minute.
"We were...I mean we are...Annie I..."
Annie has tears in her eyes, and she looks from me to Johanna.
"Finn...how could you? With her."
I look from her to Johanna.
"But...we're just friends. There's never been anything between us like that."
Annie doesn't say anything, and I turn back to Johanna as she sighs.
"Really? You fell for your best friend?"
I shake my head.
"No I didn't..."She rolls her eyes.
"Oh please, she wouldn't be here otherwise."
She turns to walk away.
I reach forward to stop her, but something is pulling me back to Annie as well.
"I don't know what's going on. I don't know what I want..."
Johanna and Annie start speaking in turn, Johanna starts with.
"We don't know what you want either."
"You're going to have to choose one of us Finn."
"You kissed me back, that has to mean something."
"We've been best friends for forever, Finn we have a lifetime of memories together."
I fall to my knees and cover my ears from their shouts.
"Stop! Just stop it!"
My breathing becomes rapid and harsh, and everything else fades away. Soon the only sound I can hear is my own heartbeat. The dream fades away, and I slowly realize that I am awake.
I jump out of bed, and run into the shower. I alternate between hot and cold water, and I am press a button that covers me in a light blue foam that smells like cocoanut.
After an hour, I finally get out and crawl back in bed, erasing everything from my mind. I'll figure my brain out tomorrow. Right now, I sleep.
Authors note: Bwhahahahah! Lol bet you guys didn't see that one coming. :) Well I'll leave you guys wondering what I'm planning on doing. Until next time :D