Damaged (Pain Killers Sequel)


Life... Is cruel... It has always been so cruel... I blinked away rain droplets from my lashes. Just a neutral day to visit her grave. "I will always make anyone happy, even though I am not happy enough with myself" with that said by Min Jinu; he never expected a down-spiral life changing fate. It was because of some girl named Yol Sang Kim had him thinking of how important his life really was, how many people will be sad and mourn for his disappearance. At this point will he able to achieve his dreams and be happy for the rest of his life? Or will fate be there playing with his fate again?

Drama / Romance
Age Rating:

Chapter 1: Going Back

(Minjinu’s pov)


Is cruel...

It has always been so cruel...

I blinked rain droplets away from my lashes. Just a neutral day to visit her grave...a rainy day.

Abruptly my phone rang from my pocket, it was uncle’s ringtone.

I respond quickly swiping the green button.

“Hello Uncle?”

I heard him sighed in distress at the other end of the line. He tried to foist me and not comeback to her grave ever again. What can I do? I missed her.

“I told you avoid coming back to that girl’s death bed, you know what she did to you right? I was hoping you had learnt your lesson.”

Uncle utter, his voice raspy. I glance up the gray sky as rain soak my face. Umbrella’s are useless, well for me of course, why bring an umbrella? When you wanted everything to be melodramatic like in the movies. And having rain to match up my mood, I consider it my friend, I loved the rain cause when rain fall, i am no longer lonely that’s one of the things I love about the rain, they comfort me they are my friend, cause then I wish someone can cry for me I wish it can rain all day.

From that day forward, the day I had to accepted everything, I begun changing my life style, from what my uncle said, I became more attractive, I dyed my hair brown cause that’s what Yol Sang Kim’s hair color was. I ate a lot of her favorite food, I drink water like she told me, I try to be healthy as promised that I will achieve my dreams. However that thought of ‘we will’ ‘together’ ‘to stay healthy for each other’ it’s not possible now.

I wanted to make my life brighter... but a broken one can’t be glued together and came out like nothing happened, every person is broken it’s just some of us, found people who will put us back together, to be the person we used to be. But some of us aren’t fated to have that someone for happiness and wellness, some are just alone. Broken forever.

I ended the call, as I don’t want to argue with him anymore. Passing by the bridge, I look over to where the walwalun filled the serene surrounding. The eerie and dark abyss beneath me flows like ice.

“I was too desperate to die before.” I let out a laugh, heading towards the hospital just across the bridge. I can’t believe I’m doing this right now.

I remember escaping this hospital and cutting myself at this very bridge. It was silly, but I felt really messed up before. Was it because of the pain killers?

Once again my phone vibrates.

“Just head home after.” He’s paranoid. I thought, entering the hospital glass doors, my lungs immediately hated the smell of the hospital. As if I’m not immunized by it for over this past years.

But after all these years of coming back and forth, I should get used to it. Walking to the said halls.

Mrs. Patty, she has been my doctor for about three years or more, she has been helping me get through my depression, and I think she’s making a progress. Hoping it will help me entirely.

Yol Sang Kim... I missed her, she was once my happy pills. Hoping this time I could change for her and for myself too, without the presence of pain killers.

I, Minjinu, once dealt with depression is now sitting in front of my psychiatrist with her poised features and dark aura, she’s somehow making a progress and for myself, for my well-being. I wanted to make a difference of how I lived before and how I live my life now.

It is unbelievable. After Sang Kim died, I told myself that it’s not my fault entirely. I have fault, she did too, there’s no one to blame not even depression.

Momentarily I entered the room where Mrs. Patty sat across the room, she had her formality around her like mist, and I’m totally aware of my actions towards her since she’s a bit observant of my actions. It’s highlighted around my features, and I have to be positive and smile often if not she’ll have to repeat it over again, from the very start indeed.

She reviewed our last discussion, apologizing for her mistake in making me feel more miserable. Her voice was sternly scary,but if you flip the pages. It’s just plain serious.

She has recently asked what I felt when Sang Kim left me. I simply wanted to make a difference.

“Before, I feel really depressed down to be exact, I often blame myself for her death, I even tried to kill myself many times. But her death and everything she did for me, I came to realization that, I myself can change for the better, even though mourning is all I can do after her death.”

It was short and I hope it’ll satisfy her this time. For about two years of repeating myself, I am in hope that I will be accomplishing things this year. Hoping it’ll end soon and I’ll finally be free from my demons.

She once opened her mouth, she sighed. “You have been really passionate Minjinu, I’ve seen that for the last two years, you are desperate to get out of your dangerous self. But you still have to practice more, try going out for a walk sometime or have yourself a little fun, go on a little trip just you, collect your thoughts. You still need some time Minjinu, I know that.”

Mrs. Patty paused for a-while in deep thoughts. She then look back at me.

“Collect your thoughts, be happy, find someone that could help you refrain your sadness. You may go now.”

Mrs. Patty said smiling formally while I, stood in front of her, bowing ninety degrees before leaving.

This time, I’ll be heading to Sang Kim where she is burried, where her unbeating heart rest, where she lie on her coffin beautifully. Soon I’ll be with you, Sang Kim.

Grabbing my things, I thank my psychiatrist and head straight to the elevator, my finger pushed the ground button as it descended, plucking my head phones on, the music Sang Kim used to love, played on the track title ‘You are my sunshine’ on my way to her. It was surreal, I still couldn’t believe it. She’s gone, for a very short time. I didn’t even get to say I was sorry. Everything hurts, I regret every decision I made before the accident happened. I regretted everything about that very night.

But there’s nothing that can bring her back now. Only I, can make a difference.

The rain continued to wet my clothes from the inside, I didn’t really bother. I don’t deserve to be cared, to be alive. This is torture...

“Why do you have to leave me just like that?” Tears poured out my eyes, it’s pretty normal for me to cry. Especially on rainy days.

I continue on walking my way to the grave yard, where she was buried. My shoes were entirely covered in mud, my phone kept on ringing from my pocket. I didn’t bother to answer anyone of their calls. I want silence.

I fished out my phone, shutting it down, for complete utterly silence, just me and the rain itself.

I began to close my eyes, whispers, voice started illuminating the area. It doesn’t scare me. My mind is just playing tricks with me, for long-term using of drugs.

“Jinu” it repeated.

“You know, I always wish, you were here with me.” He whispered to the wind.

“I miss you.”

(Min Jinu’s Uncle P.O.V)

The day continued to be gloomy, Min Jinu has arrived home. There was nothing much to say ever since that visiting, Jinu didn’t say a word. And this is the reason why I always remind him not to give that girl a visit.

For the past years, he hadn’t been talking to me, I’m glad his psychiatrist tell me everything, at least most of all.

A lot changed with Jinu. His posture, his attitude, his face, his habits, mostly it changed. The only thing that didn’t change is his love for that girl. Sang Kim.

I remember she was a happy girl, she taught Jinu a lot. I also remember when she helped him go through his anxiety.

There was so much to thank her, not that night though, when Sang Kim invited Jinu to a party, I insisted. But her words made me change my mind.

They wouldn’t get to a fight, to an accident, if it weren’t for her. It wasn’t Jinu’s fault, not my nephews’ fault. He was a good kid.

After staring at my nephews’ limp figure, my phone rung. It was my wife... and she’ll be arriving here with my daughter. A hint of light, illuminate my gloomy mind.

I started fixing everything in the house, it wasn’t tough. Jinu stayed laying on the couch. After some clean ups, I tapped his shoulders, he responds with a grunt, shaking the poor guy awake, I said. “Jinu, come help me clean the rest of the house, your auntie is coming.” He decided to open his eyes, responding with a nod.

He stood, rubbing his eyes, he grasped everything while seated and soon arranged the living room, according to its rightful place. It’s not long when we finished cleaning, same time the doorbell rings.

The man ran to get the door, Jinu who left to get a cup of water from all the work. Soon a woman’s voice illuminated the area. “You cleaned the house. That’s wonderful, I want to introduce Holly to Jinu.”

“Take it slow honey, Jinu is still recovering remember?” The old man said. “You’re not planning anything right? You just came to pay us both a visit, especially Jinu. He has gone through rough times. We don’t need to go too far nor push him to do something he don’t want to do.” The old man says. While Jinu listen by the kitchen.

Whilst the two old people argue in the living room, Jinu stayed quiet devouring his sandwich, unaware of Holly invading his alone time.

“Hey, Jinu right?” The girl asked, her smile beams the kitchen, approaching Jinu who casually ignores her presence. “I know, they can be loud sometimes, but hey! It’s really normal for them to argue. They always argue at home, you know... right?” Holly sat across Jinu. Impatiently watching the boy eats his sandwich.

“I am Holly by the way, ypu may have heard it from mom and dad. You know, mom just wanted to make everything better right?” The girl said, waiting for Jinu to reply and start a conversation.

As soon as Jinu finished his food, he stood up, leaving Holly dumbfounded.

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