Chapter 16: Breaking
“All the things my body once did by itself, it does now only by special order ... A single moment of inattention and I forget to breathe”
Chapter 16 | Breaking
“Just stay away from him...” the minty haired guy spoke stroking Chin-hae’s soft blonde locks. “Did he do something to you?” Yoon asked the small one who looked a bit tensed. “He didn’t. He just talked to me.” Chin-hae’s fingers fidgets, Yoon noticed it too. “Did he touch you?” Yoon asked his teeth gritted with anger, in which Chin-hae shook his head stating the fact that So-jung really did nothing to the small one.
However, Yoon won’t let anything slide. “I’ll be back in a minute.” the mint green haired guy spoke leaving the blonde one.
It’s not anyone’s fault. So-jung thought embracing his last moments.
Though he doesn’t want anyone to blame themselves, yet he just felt like doing it, he has enough of it. He can’t think of anything else rather than disappearing. He doesn’t want to be all dramatic and pitiful to anyone’s eyes, he himself hurts and demean himself.
And to stop his demons from dragging him down, he himself has decided it, in fact he has been thinking it for a long time. And this time, no one could stop him.
He had made his mind, he spent time with his family, he laughed with them, cry with them. For So-jung, it was a special moment. And after he pushed himself into the freezing water. Faint voices, shouts...this time it’s his name.
Did he just hesitate? From what he did he tried to swam up but it was too late. And his mind leaving with ‘no one’s brave enough’ to pull him out of the water. He sank deeper and deeper, reminiscent of Chin-hae played in So-jung’s mind like well-arranged films.
The way Chin-hae smiles at him, his innocent eyes, his angelic laugh like melody in So-jung’s ear, his touch was warm and pleasing, He needed this time for himself, he’s not too desperate to die, however drowning his sorrows would be better, right? As he sank deeper, warm presence came to approach So-jung like the heat of the sun.
Something he felt before.
Was it Chin-hae?
He could hear a faint voice, it was familiar, but he couldn’t recall.
As if he was alive again, in a different dimension. It was warm, he felt safe, the voices are like angels, the touches are so welcoming and pleasant.
Not until...So-jung opened his eyes, his eyes meet two dark and dangerous eyes. At first, he thought it was Hanseok, but as soon as his eyes cleared, it was Yoon’s eyes and his mint green locks touching So-jung’s face.
It was Yoon doing a CPR on him.
So-jung’s eyes widen, he pushed Yoon and he started coughing, salty water and it feels like his lungs are burning as well as his nose. His eyes wandered and it was still night time, lot of eyes are staring at him. His mom’s, Hanseok’s, Jihoon’s, Hansol’s, Jeongin’s, Yoon’s and Chin-hae’s brown and innocent eyes.
He diverted his gaze to Yoon who had his hair sticking everywhere and his shirt soaking wet.
Did he just jump off to save me? So-jung thought.
Rubbing his eyes in a delicate matter as his hands travel to his lips rubbing it aggressively.
He stared back at Yoon with disgust face.
His lips were as soft as Chin-hae’s, it was warm and kissable- So-jung stop thinking about Yoon’s lips! So-jung mentally slapped his cheeks.
Wake up So-jung, you are saved, be thankful at least. everything has its reasons. I guess...
“Hyung!” It was Hanseok’s voice, quickly So-jung snapped out of his trance. Diverting his gaze to Hanseok. His eyes soften when he saw Hanseok approaching him, as if his heart warmed whenever he sees his dongsaeng.
“Hyung! Why would you do that!?” The younger asked, his voice shaking with concern. Hanseok asked embracing his hyung like there’s no tomorrow. So-jung’s eyes nearly watered seeing his dongsaeng concerned. The sea water drips from his dongsaeng’s gray sweater.
He loves the warmth he gets whenever Hanseok embraces him, especially the smell of his dongsaeng’s skin and the spark everytime their skin touches, just like the things he felt when he first met Chin-hae.
“Are you okay?” So-jung flinched from the voice that abruptly pulls him back from his train of thoughts. He turned to face Yoon his face were mere inches apart from So-jung’s. So-jung quickly pushed Yoon his heart beating fast, his pupils roamed the place.
“Yeah, I am. Thanks for saving me.” said So-jung. Yoon smiled satisfied of the tall one’s response. “Welcome, and So-jung can I have a word?” The minty haired guy said while drying his hair. So-jung nodded in response to ‘yes’ leaving the rest far behind including Chin-hae.
The sound of their peaceful footsteps filled the serene surroundings, it was eerie, dark and cold, but it was rather peaceful. Their mouth parted as white smoke escape their lips, the other lips quivered while the other one is pursed. So-jung’s pocket full of his fist, knees trembling from the cold breeze, soft breaths and rough steps illuminate their peaceful surroundings.
Yoon who walked beside the tall one had his small fist in his jean pocket, while his posture is straighten yet he still looks so small compared to So-jung. Yoon blushed and his nose were red from the coldness especially in his situation where he still soaks as well as the tall one.
Looking at the two gentlemen, So-jung looks warmer than Yoon in any case, Yoon might catch a cold anytime. As they both reach their destination. Yoon stop dead on his tracks facing So-jung, looking at him with determination.
While So-jung looks into space just across the horizon before his eyes. Yoon formally cleared his throat, trying to get So-jung’s attention. As the tall one faces him, the atmosphere changed, it was gloomy, eerie and awkward.
Yoon sighed. “I’m sorry for everything I said before, I truly am sorry. And the saving ‘thingy’ earlier, it’s not a show off. You, deserve to live, I have been with Chin-hae for many years, I managed to save him every time he attempted to end his life, I know we all deserve and fated for something, and I believe yours is not death, as well getting close with Chin-hae again.”
Yoon spoke with words full of thorns that every time So-jung hears those words, his heart bleeds. Yoon continued. “We didn’t come here for you, we came here for a reason and it’s about my health, not you. You and Chin-hae are over, a very long time. Don’t try to get close to him again. You didn’t know what he has gone through after you both broke up. So please So-jung, I’m begging you. Stay away from Chin-hae if you don’t want to hurt him again.” said Yoon, he once looked at the tall one’s eyes.
So-jung’s mind came to understanding. He doesn’t want to say no more for he might break down in front of a stranger. “I understand.” So-jung spoke his voice nearly cracked. He pursed his lips staring back at the short one with a smile on his face. “You’re right, I should’ve thought of that before.” So-jung’s voice full of pity and sorrow. He’s right, we’re ill-fated.
Soon the two returned, along the way it was quite intense, the tension between the two ignites inside their chest, the wanting to punch someone is just lingering before the two. From afar there is a hint of Yoon holding his rage over the poor boy.
Yoon has made his mind that if he hurt So-jung, Chin-hae would not like it, same to anyone who’s been showing their hospitality for the both of them. Yoon felt bad, since he has no guts on making the first move since many people will get hurt too.
He knew So-jung is a good guy, however getting close with Chin-hae is not supposed to happen. Like Chin-hae said, So-jung and Chin-hae are Ill-fated. Momentarily, the two arrived back on their destination, there Yoon bowed thanking the family’s hospitality.
Taking Chin-hae’s hand while the blonde one took one last look at So-jung, but before Yoon could make their way. So-jung grips on Chin-hae’s other arm.
The time stops, Chin-hae’s confused and worried look stares back at So-jung’s hopeful eyes. At the end of the day, So-jung parted his lips as Yoon said... they’re ill-fated. So-jung’s gaze diverted to Chin-hae as he spoke. Breaking the small one’s heart.
“Don’t come back here ever again.