Confused Loki stumbles through the halls of the palace, the palace where he grew up, the palace where he ran around as a little boy, laughing and playing with Thor. Fighting each other, taking turns playing the hero.
Thor. Brother, friend, confidant, comrade. The only person he ever expected to be on his side, he probably does not knows himself the horrible truth about Loki. He has always considered his little brother his equal.
By the word equal Loki laughs miserable. Although he has always been treated and handled as a valuable and beloved member of the family, he always felt that he was treated differently by Odin. Not so much by what the man said, Loki remembers the countless times that Odin told him he loved him, that he was dear to him. No, it was the little things, the sparkle in his eyes that seemed brighter as Thor did something memorable compared to Loki. The pride in his voice as he praised Thor. It always caused Loki feeling deprived of something.
Now at least he knew why.
Years, centuries, he told himself that he imagined it. It was nonsense. However, he felt a shadow more and more falling over him, getting bigger, swallowing him whole.
His whole life was a lie, a disappointment, a deception. First he was cast aside, into the cold, defenseless naked and alone, then he was stolen by the greatest enemy of the Frost Giants; King of Asgard, Odin, only to be told, to be learned to hate the Frost Giants, to loath what they are.
Why, he asked him, why did he never tell him the truth of his lineage and he had claimed that it had been for his own safety, for his own protection, but when Loki insisted it was an even greater disillusionment. Odin had not taken him to raise him lovingly as his own son, but as a means of exchange, a relic to keep locked away until he might have use of him.
When he stands at the door of his chamber, he suddenly thinks of you and his thin lips form a soft smile. At least he still has you. After discovering that he has never been who he thought he was and his life was one big lie, he could not wait to hold you in his arms, to hear your Voice, to feel your soft curves against his body, feel the beating of your heart against his skin. He has never told you, you are after all his personal servant and a prince of Asgard and a servant .... but he makes the deal with himself to tell you how important you really are to him, how much he loves having you around that you are his light, his sun, his reason for being and hopeful he walks into his room and looks around. Nothing, he frowns and walks into the adjoining bathroom.
In the bathroom you're also not. Loki sighs and sits down on the bed, his elbows rest on his knees, and he folds his hands together. Suddenly he sits up and hold his arms up, palms inward. Before his eyes the color slowly changes from pale to blue, it spreads to his forearms and then disappears beneath his tunic. Loki slowly stands up and looks at his now blue arms. His hands open the first buttons of his tunic and he looks at his blue chest covered in lines that are slightly darker. His eyes fall upon his appearance in the mirror and his lips form a grimace when he sees his now deep red eyes. Suddenly the door opens en his head snaps towards it, he is ready to scowl on the one that enters, daring enough to interrupt him when he sees you walking towards him. You are reading a book and therefore do not notice the change he just underwent.
You look up with a smile when you see movement in your peripheral vision, but when you see the blue creature with piercing red eyes instead of the man you serve you stop dead in your tracks and the smile disappears from your face.
He turns to you and takes a step in your direction. On a whim, you throw the book at his head and run as fast as you can to the door but even before you are near it you feel fingers curling around your wrist and you are pulled back and your body is pressed against the wall. You squeeze your eyes shut and turn your face away.
''y/n.'' he says.
You have no idea how he knows your name and you do not want to know. You can feel his cold breath on your skin, and you try to crawl into the wall just to escape him.
''Let me go or I swear I will scream so hard every one in Asgard will hear me.'' you say.
''It's me, Loki.'' He answers.
''No, it is not, you're blue, and your eyes....''
''y/n, please, I know you're frightened but please tell me you recognize my voice?''
You must admit that the voice sounded familiar.
''y/n, listen to my voice, feel the familiarity of my fingers sliding over your skin, recognize the way in which my lips feel on you.''
You feel two lips in your neck and unconsciously you relax, his fingers slide down and grab your hips, one of his hands goes up again and he cups your cheek. He slowly turns your face towards him while his lips kiss their way to yours.
''It is truly me.'' he murmurs against your lips before he seals them in a hungry kiss.
He has only kissed you a handful of times in the time you have served him but you immediately recognize the compelling way in which Loki can kiss though his lips feel cooler than normal, and his touch also feels cooler but when your fingers slip through his familiar long locks you moan into his mouth. You turn your head so that he can deepen the kiss and his fingers hoist your leg up which he then places around his waist. He pressed his hips against yours and bites your lip, harder than usual and you feel it cleave under the pressure, you gasp and Loki uses the opening up of your lips to push his tongue inside. His hand leaves your cheek and it moves in a straight line to your breast that he tightly grabs and he squeezes it hard.
Your eyes are still closed and when you feel his hand slip in your pants and underwear he pushes two long thin finger inside you, your breath falters in your throat and your head falls with a thud against the wall. Loki plants his lips in your throat and sucks hard, which elicits a deep moan to tumble from your lips in the mean time scissoring his fingers inside you.
''I need you,'' he whispers huskily in your ear,''I need to claim you as mine.''
Before you can register the words you feel his hard erection penetrate you deep and hard and you realize that with a twist of his hand he has a magically removed your clothes. It is not the first time he takes you without preparing you and normally you are capable of welcoming him without much trouble but this time it is almost as if he is bigger and you scream his name. He fucks you hard and rough against the wall, and it is almost painful, yet you let him have his way with you. He grabs your other leg and pushes it out so that he can penetrate his dick deeper inside you. You moan as he scrapes with the tip of his cock over your pleasure spot and your muscles clamps around his shaft. You hear how Loki's breath falters and you know he is almost there. You tilt your hips up and feel him slide even deeper into you. He slides his hand down and easily finds your clit, he moves his finger around it and scrapes over it, the roughness and the slight cold ensure a chill running down your spine. You feel your climax approaching fast and you draw him towards you. Soon Loki pushes you over the edge with a few hard thrusts but he continues to push in, so hard and deep that it is almost too much for you.
''Loki, please, I can not ....'' you gasp.
''So close.'' he moans while he keeps saying your name like a mantra, over and over. He thrust a few times deep and hard into you and you feel a cold stream of seed squirting inside your heat, it makes you cum for the second time and you bury your head in his neck. When he stills inside you, you want to look at him, but your eyes feel heavy and fall shut. Loki sighs deeply and carries you to his bed, he lays you under the sheet and he settles next to you. You lie on your side and Loki goes lying close to you, but makes sure he does not touch you, afraid you're mad at him when you wake up because he has been careless with you. His fingers gently caress your upper arm and he kisses your shoulder.
He leans on his elbow and cranes his head so he can look at your profile, al the while continuing to caress your arm up and down slowly. You sigh once in your sleep and you turn on your other side, facing him. He looks at your smaller form moving closer to him, seeking his body warmth he radiates now he has taken back his normal form again. Loki smiles and softly caresses your side. His fingers move from your side over your arm all the way to your hand and he intertwines your fingers. He lifts your joined hands and kisses your knuckles. He is now more than ever grateful for the fact that he has you in his life, that you are his, or so he hopes. He also hopes that he has not hurt you in any way.
He careful lays your hand on the sheets again and leans forward to kiss your forehead.
''I love you so very much,'' his finger slides across your cheek, neck, and finally over the outline of your breast and you squirm a bit in your sleep,''you're the best thing that ever happened to me, y/n, and I would not now what to do without you in my life.''
Slowly you open your eyes and you see a lean muscular chest. Your eyes move upwards and you meet two green eyes that are staring back at you, you freeze.
''What happened?'' you ask and slowly you sit up, covering yourself with the sheet.
When you realize you both are naked and in his bed you panic slightly, you search around for your clothes but you can not see them.
''What are you looking for?'' Loki asks.
''Uhm, my clothes.'' you say, avoiding his eyes.
''Why? You wish to leave me?'' he asks and he sounds......disappointent..?
Hesitantly you look at him, the way he looks at you makes you nervous and you bite your lip making you cringe when you feel the gash between your teeth he has left behind.
''I am sorry,'' he says, sitting up making the sheet pool around his slim hips. Automatically your eyes track the movement and your heart skips a beat when his virility remains barely hidden.
He places his finger on your lip to cares the cut and when you see a light glow you try to look what he is doing but you fail,''there, all better.''
You let your finger trace over your lip and the cut is gone.
''I have heard about your healing gift but I never thought it would be true, thank you.''
''You are most welcome.''
You make a move to get out of bed but Loki grabs your wrist.
''Don't, stay, please.''
''Why? The other times when we.... you never stopped me from leaving.''
''Because I thought you wanted to.'' He says.
''What? No, why would I ...'' you understand nothing of what is happening and you hesitate and look over your shoulder at him. His green eyes look at you almost pleading and you know you are lost.
He intertwines your fingers, making you look at them and moves them to his lips,''Never in my life did I need to beg for anything but I will beg you if I must.''
He slowly moves back making room for you without releasing your hand and opens his arms to you. Gently you slide towards him and you allow him to close his arms around you. He draws you against himself and you close your eyes and sniff his scent. A smile on your face appears when his hands start to rub you back, but then suddenly you remember what he looked like when you entered.
''Loki?'' you ask.
''When I entered the room....'' you stop talking when you feel him stiffen.
''I wish you had not seen that.''
''But I did.''
''I do not belong here.'' he says.
''What do you mean?'' you asks, not understanding.
''I mean that Odin did not plant me inside Frigga, who did not gave life to me.''
''What?'' you say and you lean back to look at him.
''You saw what I was, what I truly am.''
''And what is that?''
He looks at you with lips that form a tight line and brows that are drawn together. You have only seen that look on him a couple of times and it always meant that he was struggling with something. You sit up straighter and take his hands without breaking eye contact.
''Loki, please tell me what happened, I hate it when you are like this. What are you?''
''If I tell you you would hate me, you would leave me so fast....''
''Hey, do not say things like that, I love you. There is nothing in the whole nine realms that can take that love away.''
''Are you sure? I saw the look in your eyes when you saw me after you walked in, the fear, the loathing.''
''Because I did not know it was you, I thought you were an intruder, meaning to harm me.''
''I would never harm you, y/n.'' he says softly.
''I know, now tell me, please.''
Loki bites his lip and takes a deep breath before he starts his story about what he discovered when he was on Jotunheim and the Frost Giant grabbed his arm, what happened when he touched the casket and what Odin told him, about how and when he found him and why he took him.
''It all makes sense now.''
''Why he favored Thor all those years, and why, if Thor would decline the throne it would never be mine. No matter how many times he called me his son or how much he claimed to love me he would never allow for a Frost Giant to sit on the throne of Asgard. So you see, I am the monster parents tell there children about at night.''
''You are not a monster, stop saying that.''
You take his hands in yours and look at him, but he evades your eyes and his lips form a thin tight line. You know you will not get far with words so you decide to show with deeds.
''Change back.'' You say resolute.
Loki looks at you in disbelief.
''You heard me.''
''You want me to change back into that....''
You put your finger to his lips to keep that word inside and you straddle him.
''If you utter that word one more time I swear I will leave....'' you threaten him and his head drops.
Loki sighs and closes his eyes, slowly you see the pale color disappear and turn into the blue color. Also you can see lines that run down his face and continue on his chest and arms. When he's done you look at him, but he keeps his eyes closed. Gently you lay your leg over him so you are straddling him and place your arms around his shoulders immediately feeling his coldness and you shiver slightly.
''I am sorry.'' he says, meaning the cold.
''Don't,'' you say and you kiss his lips,''open your eyes.''
Loki just squeezes his eyes shut tighter and you sigh.
''Please, look at me.''
Loki looks down and you see his eyelids slowly open, you put your finger under his chin and tilt his head up. When you meet his deep red eyes you smile reassuringly at him. Your finger follows a line in his neck to his chest and when you come near to his nipple you can hear his breath hitch in his throat. You let your eyes go over his body and finally your eyes find each other again.
''You're beautiful, Loki.'' You say.
''How can you say that?'' he says unbelieving.
''Because it's true.''
Loki smiles wryly and looks away, you lean forward to kiss his neck, one of your hands slips into his dark locks while the other finds its way to his hand so that you can lace your fingers. You pull his hair to give yourself more space and gently bite his neck only to sooth the mark with your tongue after it. Then you follow the line with your tongue until you are at his nipple and you take it between your teeth in order to give it a gentle tug.
''Please what?'' you asks.
''Show me....'' he says before his breathing falters again when you grind your hips down.
''Show you what?''
Slowly your lips find their way back up, kissing and biting and tracing the lines.
''That you can still love me as I am, that I am still worth something.''
You stop your ministrations and look at him.
''To me you are worth more then all the nine realms together, you always were and you always will.'' you say sincere.
For the first time since his unveiling, you see a faint smile on his lips, and it elicits a smile from you too.
''Thank you,'' He says, and lays his forehead against yours,''you are amazing.''
''I know, but I am not done yet. I've barely even started.'' You say with a wink.
Loki laughs at this and allows you to push him on his back and you reach behind you and pull the sheet further down, baring his already hard erection to you. After you have leaned forward to kiss him, Loki moans into you mouth and you smile against his lips. You sit up again and look at him for a moment, admiring the beauty beneath you. Your eyes follow the lines on his stomach to his neck and you end up at his red eyes. Loki looks at you and you notice that he looks insecure.
You place your hands next to his body and you start kissing you way up his form, all the while telling him how gorgeous beautiful breathtaking enchanting and brilliant he is to you not matter how he looks from the outside, he is still Loki, he is still the same, he is still the one you love dearly.
Then slowly you lower your lips further down again and your body glides along with it, you feel his erection slipping through the crack of your buttocks and when it slides along your slit, he places his hands on your hips to keep you there and he tries to push himself inside your heat but you come up and look at him dismissive.
''No, that will not work, this is about you.''
Loki huffs a bit and you take his hands with yours. Slowly while looking at him you bring them to your mouth and kiss them. Then you place them above his head and kiss his neck.
''Keep them there.'' you say.
Loki does what you say and focuses on your lips that are moving downwards, you give his nipples some attention and when they are hard and sensitive your lips continue their way down. When you come to the V of his hips your tongue follows a line to his left thigh and your finger caresses a line to his right thigh. Loki moans and his hips rise up a little from the bed. Satisfied with this response you smile against his sapphire skin. You lick your way to his erection and let your tongue circle the head, you feel how Loki slide his fingers in your hair but does not push you down to take all of him down your throat and so you allow it. You're happy about that because now you can take the time to let him feel how precious he is to you. While your right hand plays with his balls your left hand grabs the base of his shaft and you move your hand down slowly. Pulling his foreskin away you let your tongue slowly and repeatedly lick his most sensitive spot. Loki arches his back and his fingers grip your hair tighter. You had expected this reaction and you pull back slightly until he almost slips out of your mouth.
''No,'' he says almost whining and you chuckle a little.
''Be patient, my love.'' you murmur while working you way back up his body.
''Easy for you to say.'' he answers hoarsely.
You take his nipple in your mouth and give it a gentle tug, Loki's breathing hitches and you follow a dark blue line upwards until you can seal your lips in a passionate kiss. His hands glide over your back up and down and you shiver under his touch.
''Sorry about the cold.''
''I do not shiver because of the cold,'' you say, and you look at him,''I'm shivering because of the fact that someone like you finds me worthy enough to share your bed with.''
''y/n ...'' he begins, but you put your finger on his light blue lips.
''You know, as long as I can remember, the women and even some of the men have lusted after Thor, wishing they may call themselves his and he finds them worthy enough to receive his seed and to give birth to his children.''
''And you? Have you ever lusted after my brother?'' he says and you hear the slightly jealous tone in which he speaks.
''Would I be here, with you, in your bed, in your arms, willingly, if that was so?''
Loki smiles at you and you smile back.
''My whole life I've hardly had eyes for him because I was too busy lusting after another prince. When a girl hears that she has been chosen to be in the service of the King and Queen, the first thing they think about is the honor that it is. The fact that you are cared for for the rest of your days. But my first thought was that I would see you every day and that thought filled me with so much warmth and made me so happy, Loki.''
You watch him honestly and his fingers slip in your hair.
''When a prince of Asgard reaches a certain age, he may choose a personal servant,'' he begins ''I was giving a year to think about who that would be but I did not need one second to know that I wanted you. I've always wanted you for myself.''
''And I you.'' say you sincerely.
''Why did not you say something? You could have come to me.''
''And what was I supposed to say to you? You are a prince of Asgard, I'm just a simple servant.''
''No,'' he says, and he puts a sapphire finger on your lips,'' you've never been a simple servant in my eyes.''
''Before I was chosen to serve your father and mother I would always linger around the palace garden in hopes to get a glimpse of you. Sometimes I did not and I would go home disappointed but sometimes I did see you and even if that was for just a couple of seconds it was enough,'' you lean forward and trace his ear with your tongue,''do you want to know what effect you have had on me for as long as I can remember?''
Loki nods, being to wrapped up in your voice to speak. You place your hand above his head and kiss him before you lean back.
''I would take a shower first because the sight of you even for mere seconds would get me so hot and bothered I needed to cool down, then I would feel a little better but there would still be that tingle in myself that needed my attention, so I would lay down on the bed on my back, naked, like this.''
Slowly you move from him and you lay down beside him, almost immediately Loki comes up and goes lying on his side next to you. You smile and put your hand on his thigh and your other hand you place a little above your breast. Loki's ruby eyes go there at once, and you smile.
''I close my eyes and conjure up your face before me and when you are there I let my fingers slowly move over my body, my breasts, playing with my nipples,'' you let your fingers do what your mouth says and you hear Loki's breath catch in his throat,'' they slowly go down over my abdomen,'' your fingers draw a path to your belly button where you swirl your finger around,'' then they go further down and I let one finger slide between my slit all the way down and all the way back up again before I let one slip inside'' your hips rise off the bed while you fingers slip inside you and you hear Loki moan,'' I repeat that a few times while I fantasize that it are your fingers that move within me and your other fingers caress my breast and your soft luscious lips that kiss my neck,'' involuntarily you press your head in the pillow to expose your neck, your breathing becomes heavy and you are startled a bit when your feel real lips on your neck and Loki's fingers that push away yours in your intimate spot, and he takes over.
''What are you doing'' you asks.
''I can not .... God, to see you like this, you are so beautiful, so stunning, y/n.''
''This is supposed to be about you ..''
''There is no me, nor is there a you, just us, only us.''
''Please, I need to have you, let me take you...''
''Yes.'' you moan longingly.
In one swift move he is between your legs, he hoists them up and you lay them around his narrow hips, fast and hard he thrusts his erection inside you. You're still a bit stretched by your previous coupling and he slides in easily. He grabs your hands and puts them next to your head, he wants to rise again, but you lace your fingers with his, and you look at him.
''No, stay here, like this, look at me, love.''
Loki nods and starts to roll his hips into yours while your eyes never leave each other. With every hard thrust of his hips he pushes you further up the bed and the head end of the bed slams against the wall and you would not be surprised if it left impressions on the wall. You press your ankles in his lower back to get him even deeper inside and you simultaneously press your hips up.
Loki bows his head, the pleasure swallowing him and you know what he wants to do.
''It's okay, make me yours, mark me, claim me.'' You encourage him and you put your arms around his neck.
Loki bites your shoulder hard enough to break the skin when he comes and you feel him color your inner walls with his seed, it ensures that you also fall over the edge. Exhausted, he falls down beside you, you pant and after some time you roll on your side, your head is on his chest and you lay your arm over his waist. He laces his fingers with yours and kisses your forehead. When you feel his finger at your wound you push it away and he looks at you quizzically.
''I am keeping this one, it tells me that I am claimed by you, that my body belongs to you and no one else.''
''I want all the nine realms to know that you belong to me and me alone.'' he pulls you close and you see his blue color make way for the pale again.
''I wonder what your father will say about that.''
''He's not my father.'' Loki says resolute.
''He saved you, took you in and raised you as his son.''
''Still doesn't make him my father.'''he insists.
You sigh and kiss his chest.
''And what about Frigga? Is she not your mother?'' you careful ask.
Silence, and for a brief moment you think you went to far.
''No, although it paints me to say so.'' he whispers.
You lay your chin on his chest and look at him.
''Because, she treated me the same as Thor, when she called me her son, I could see in her eyes she really meant it. I never felt the need to prove myself to her, maybe because she learned me how to use my powers, we have that in common, it created a bond between us. She knows about my feelings for you.''
''You told her?''
''No, she guessed.''
''She has seen the way I act around you, the way I look at you. She claims that my eyes light up when you are around. Even says she was not at all surprised when I choose you as my personal servant. She knows me better then anyone.'' he says with a fond smile.
''Your mother has always been nothing but kind to me, I like her,''you place your elbow on the bed and lean your head on it,''when I was in the service of the King and Queen only a few months I had to get something from the market for her, I was surprised by the rain when I was on my way back. By the time I got back to the palace, I was soaked, instead of first going to my chamber to change clothes and dry I ran to her chamber to give her the things she needed. As soon as she saw me she took my arm and pulled me into her chamber, forgetting the things I was supposed to get her. When I became aware that she pushed me to the bathchamber, I tried to protest against it, I mean, a servant who uses the bathchamber of the Queen? But she insisted she did not want me to get sick or coming down with something and she literally said "let me take care of you'. Before I could protest, she even run the bath full for me herself. I've always wondered why she did that.''
''Because she knew that if you would get sick I would be worried about you.''
Loki reaches his hand up and pushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear.
''I have always worried about you, y/n, even before you came into the service of father and mother.''
You look at him in surprise after his revelation.
''I can do a lot of things including shapeshifting; I can change into anyone I want. Sometimes when the palace life suffocates me, I change myself into someone else, someone who does not stand out outside the palace. So I could walk amongst the people of Asgard for a day to do what I wanted. On one of those days I noticed you. You sat on the edge of the fountain with some friends. It was hot and you turned around so you could sit in the water with your legs. You were so beautiful, the way the fabric of your dress hung around your curves, the way the sun gave your hair a golden glow and the soft breeze that blew your hair up. You were barefoot and then you laughed at something someone said to you. From that moment I knew I was lost, that I was yours, that my heart belonged to you and no one else ever could make claim on it but you. Then you let your hands glide through the water and you held back your head to let your wet hands go over your neck I wanted so badly to walk up to you and take you in my arms and kiss you, to take you to my chambers to claim you for myself.''
''Why didn't you?''
Loki smiles and pulls you close.
''Because, my Love, I was not myself that day, literally.''
''You could have come to me nonetheless.''
''I know, and maybe I could befriend you, win your trust, and maybe more but then again, it would be a lie. I could never lie to you. So I decided to be patient and wait for my change to claim you.''
''I think I remember that day, it was long ago.'' you say.
''It was almost five years ago. Three before you came into the service of father and mother.''
''And it took another two to get us here.''
''So much time wasted, but you were more then worth waiting for, and besides, I sort of kept 'visiting' you over the course of those three years.''
''You did?'' you ask and your eyes get big,''how often?
''Of course, knowing you were out there, I could not stay away from you. I would go looking for you as many times as I could be missed, sometimes once every week, sometimes once a month and everytime I saw you I fell deeper and deeper for you.''
Suddenly he stops speaking and frowns his eyebrows.
''What?'' you ask a little worried.
''The days when I could not see you, were difficult for me. I missed you, your eyes, your smile, your hair hanging around you face in long silken threads. I often worried about you. Were you happy? Were you sad? Also, I was afraid that someone else then me would catch your eye.''
You hear the uncertainty in his voice and caress his chest, running slow circles on it with your fingers.
''That fear was unfounded. For as long as I can remember, you're the only one who has ever caught my eye, that I ever noticed, you know this.''
''Yes, now, but not then. Then I was still afraid that one day some handsome guy would come along that would sweep you off your feet, and I would lose you.'' he says and pulls you more firmly against him, like he is afraid that you will still walk away from him.
''I had already found my handsome guy, the one of whom I dreamed about sweeping me off my feet.'' You mumble.
You hear him chuckle and you smile against his skin. You head rests on his chest again and you feel his steady heartbeat under your palm, it suddenly makes you sleepy and you yawn. You feel Loki's fingers slip through your hair and he places a kiss on your head.
''Go to sleep.'' he murmurs.
''Will you be here when I wake up?''
''I will always be here, my Love. Now sleep.''