Thursday 31st August 2006
The crickets chirped in the long grass as the kids ran about with sparklers which illuminated their broad grins. Soft country music was playing in the background with the crackling of the fire which sat in the centre of the small gathering. We were at Ozette lake, having the usual barbecue. There wasn't anything really special going on- just that the summer was coming to an end. I could already feel the cold in the air.
Evelyn huddled under the blanket around both of us, quietly eating a burger as we tiredly listened to our families talk. All of the pack had come up plus Claire and her little friends. Quil ran about with them, making sure they weren't burning themselves with the sparklers.
"Have you had a good summer?" I asked her, shuffling closer to her to keep her warm.
"Mmm hmm." She nodded. Gazing to her, I smiled. She had a large fluffy wolf hat on, the ears drooping down. It was insanely cute, especially when her big sea blue eyes looked up to me. She smiled and it lit her face. I was sure a blush tinged my cheeks.
"It's been really good." She said, bumping her shoulder with mine.
"Even when things weren't so good?" I asked tentatively. She blinked, her eyes becoming a little sad.
"Yes. Even then. Because you made it better."
She was referring to the morning after her brother had announced he was getting married... and that Carmen was having a baby. I knew it devastated her- only a week before she had been upset about him leaving her behind. I knew she didn't like things changing so fast. I could still remember how pale she went when they announced it.
It terrified me.
And worse still, I had to go on patrol that night. When you're away from your imprint and they're in pain... well, it's the worst thing in the world. Thankfully Sam let me go in the early hours of the morning so I could hold her until she woke up.
I smiled, wrapping an arm around her, keeping her close. She had finished her meal by now and so she laid her head on my shoulder. I could hear her heart quietly thudding, sounding like the mantra for my life.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
I closed my eyes, the voices and sounds around us mixing into white noise.
I carried her up to bed. Mr and Mrs Hund were sharing a pot of tea by the time I came downstairs and I bid them a quiet goodbye. They smiled at me- smiles I was so accustomed to. It seemed so natural for me to be around them now.
She didn't wake up that night like she usually did. She stayed sound asleep, curled up on her side, her hair splayed out around her. I found it hard to sleep. I saw one benefit of being a vampire then. You could sit and watch your loved one for as long as you liked. You didn't need to move, to eat, to do anything. Not even breathe.
Eventually, in the early hours of the morning, I drooped into an uneasy sleep. It was a hit and miss with dreams. They were lucid, keeping my heart rapidly pumping. These days I mostly dreamt of a certain blonde girl. She was never close, never touching me. She was in the distance- over a dewy field, staring at me behind a tree. She was skinny, her bones showing like veins on a leaf. She looked like a ghost many times and however much I tried to bring her back to life, I was too late.
"Seth?" Came her voice and I jumped awake, seeing she was gazing down at me with curious eyes. "Grandpa's making breakfast. Want some?"
"Er sure." I weakly said. "Um... I'll go outside then."
She nodded and she went away. I sat up quickly to see her go. She was in a pair of long, loose white jogging bottoms with a plain shirt, wearing her hair in messy braids. She flashed a smile at me before leaving the room and I was left gazing at the open door.
The air was cold around me as I walked around the house with my hands in my pockets. I blinked sleep away rapidly as I came up to the front door. She was already there waiting for me, leaning against the door frame with a bright smile.
"Mmm." I mumbled. She laughed lightly, taking my hand and leading me inside. I closed the door, trapping the heat in. She pulled me into the kitchen to where a feast lay for us. Mr and Mrs Hund were chatting, Mr Hund reading a newspaper at the head of the table. They said good morning to me, plating up some bacon and eggs for me. I slumped into my usual seat next to Eve, ripping open a soft roll and chewing it as I poured out some orange juice for myself.
She was bubbly today. She made me smile as she swung her legs under the table. It was odd little things about her that made me love her even more.
We both sat up in the tree house, leaning against the trunk with the wildlife around us. She lifted her palm up to the sky, catching strands of sunlight in her fingers. I breathed out gently, watching her with fascinated eyes. When she looked back around to me she smiled softly, her hand coming to run through my hair.
"Should I cut it?" I asked tiredly, slouching beside her.
"No." She said calmly. I laughed, resting my head on her shoulder. She sighed, taking my hand gently and playing with my fingers.
There was a kind of safety I felt whenever I was around her. Peacefulness. She was calm, a perfect refuge.
And so the summer came to an end. I knew I had changed over these past few months and that she had, too. But Evelyn was ever the caring, smart person she was and took it in her stride. She slept peacefully by my side, and, eventually, I slept too.
School seemed to be more difficult than I remembered. It was hard to concentrate in class- especially when your soul mate is sitting right next to you unconscious of the fact that her foot was brushed up against mine. She was more happy though and to see her eyes light up made my life worth while. We tended to steer clear of the pack and ended up outside most times in break.
Life began to settle into a routine. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I had to tell her I imprinted on her. I had no idea how to go about it. Would it scare her? I hoped not because it didn't scare me. It made me too happy- too ecstatic- to even breathe sometimes.
That was just me, though. I was sure my eagerness to be with her was showing. I hung onto her every word, walking tightly beside her, watching how her eyes moved and how her hair lifted in the breeze. It was very minor things that interested me in her. But it was her smile that lit up my world. When you knew a person so well it was almost like they were an extension of you. You could look across the room and their eyes would meet yours. You could feel the earth shift and move about them, every emotion rolling off their shoulder, every breath they took became one of yours.
It was obvious to me now that she was my imprint. I guess a part of me always knew I'd end up with her but the whole imprinting aspect of it set it in stone. She was mine and I was most definitely hers.
Saturday 9th September 2006
I was torn.
All I could seem to remember was her eyes as she looked to me when Charlie arrived at my house, saying Bella had been here for two weeks and he couldn't see her. My first instinct was to run to my alpha- to tell him the treaty had been broken.
But more important than that was my imprinting instincts. Evelyn looked at me with kind, soft eyes as Charlie shouted in despair in the background. Her hair framed her beautiful face and I had the sudden urge to cross the room and just kiss her.
She nodded acutely at me, telling me it was fine for me to go. I mouthed 'thank you' at her and she smiled the tiniest bit, watching me leave through the back door.
Now all I could see was her face as Jacob ran away from the pack. I knew she'd be scared- hell, I was scared- but I believed in this. I believed the Cullen's weren't bad, and that this... baby, or whatever it was, was still a being. If I were in the same situation as Edward and Bella... and that it was Evelyn who was... um, pregnant, then of course I'd want to keep it. Because it was the essence of both of us- of the love I felt for her. I couldn't destroy it. It would be like destroying her.
So I left the pack to join Jacob. Let's just say he wasn't all too thrilled about it. In fact, I had to pretty much shut up and just be his 'wing man' as we approached the Cullen household. I could smell them- it was very potent, but not half as bad as I expected it to be.
I knew we'd all pay a hefty price for leaving the pack- it was unheard of to do so. There had only ever been one pack. We had only ever been a whole.
But I liked the silence that lay in the pack mind now. It gave me space to think. Jake's thoughts were pretty well set- he was intent on keeping Bella alive at any cost. And even if she were to die... then he'd kill Edward.
That made me a bit upset, to say the least. I admired Edward- he was a role model in the aspect of being a man. He wasn't all macho- not like the guys in the pack. He didn't mind to show some emotion, especially to his Bella. I liked that and I tried to give that to Eve, too.
I wanted her to know I was safe- that everything would be fine. But I couldn't know that. I was in the dark about it all. None of us knew what was going to happen and it was terrifying.