Part Five: Shooting Pinkies
"Where did she go?" Draco asked Bilius who shrugged.
"You took her into the tent didn't you?" Bilius asked.
"I went to get her potion and when I came back she was gone." Draco said.
"Why did she need a potion?" Bilius asked.
Draco started to get uncomfortable and turned around to see no one else around.
"Mate? What are you looking for? If you're looking for the brownies, they're gone. Jade can eat like a pack of wolves." Shetty said. Draco caught Shetty's collar and yanked him.
"If I don't find her in good condition, I'll feed you to a pack of wolves." Draco said. He let go of Shetty and walked off, stopping random people for questioning.
"Did you see a woman dressed up as the world?" Draco asked a skinny teenage boy.
"Sure." He said pointing to an overweight woman wearing a blue and green print dress. "That's my mom…but you can have her." The boy said.
"Wow…that doesn't look like Jade mate but I could be wrong. The way she eats, I won't be surprised-peace." Shetty said quickly when Draco turned on him.
"I really don't feel so well and on top of that…I have to pee very badly." Jade said as Michael tried tying her to a tree.
"Can you shut up?" Michael asked.
"I can't, I have allergies." Jade said.
"What does that have to do with you shutting up?" he asked. Jade smiled sheepishly.
"April Fool's!" Jade said. Michael stared at her, stunned.
"But-fuck this, forget it." Michael said.
They heard something rustling nearby and Jade gasped seeing a slightly altered version of Parvati walk towards her.
"The bathroom girl." Padma snarled.
"I'm sorry…did I know you? Nope I didn't…you weren't popular." Jade shrugged.
"I was too popular! I was fucking Malfoy all the time!" Padma said.
"If I earned a Knut every time I heard that." Jade sang.
"Shut up! Make her shut up! She's so goddamn annoying!" Padma said. She kicked Jade's shin who gasped in pain and slumped towards the ground, bringing the ropes around the trees down.
"Pad I just finished tying her up!" Michael said.
"Well you didn't do a very good job at it Corner!" Padma yelled.
"Corner? Michael Corner? Ginny's boyfriend Corner?" Jade asked looking at Michael who smirked.
"Weasley still remembers me doesn't she? I knew I was always memorable in bed." Michael winked at Padma who smiled sickly.
"No…she used to tell me that you neighed." Jade said.
Michael burned red and Padma gasped out loud.
"You do neigh like a horse!" Padma said.
"I think he's into horses." Jade whispered none too gently.
"Are we here to embarrass me or get the secret recipe and the money?" Michael asked. Padma nodded and went to tie Jade to the tree again but there was another sound heard from the bushes.
"Who is that?" Padma whispered to Michael.
"I don't know!" Michael said.
He crept towards the bushes and the next thing Jade saw was a flash of red shiny leather tackle him to the ground.
"Pansy Parkinson?! Shocking!" Jade said dramatically.
"That's right you little cocksucker! I've got you where I want, don't move! I have a gun!" Pansy said pointing it to Michael. Jade clicked her teeth and shook her head as Pansy got up, still pointing the gun at Michael.
"Stand next to your boyfriend Patil! Don't try anything smart with me. I'll only enjoy pushing these bullets through your brains." Pansy said.
Padma slowly stood next to Michael with both of their hands raised.
"Now turn around." Pansy said seeing them start turning. Pansy locked their wrists with each other's and before she could lock their other hand, Michael swiped at her, dropping Pansy's gun. Pansy went to scramble for the gun but Michael and Padma both punched Pansy in the face, seeing her drop to the ground, unconscious.
"I love you!" Michael said kissing Padma.
"I love you too! Now where's the gun?" Padma asked.
They turned around to see Jade standing up, smiling goofily with the gun pointed at them.
"It's all right…she doesn't know how to use it, do you?" Michael asked. Jade closed one eye as if she were trying to find a target.
"Oh I wouldn't say that. I've shot Harry's Porsche and that werewolf…Fenrir Greyback. Does that ring a bell somewhere?" Jade asked.
"She's right. Get away from her, she's absolutely nutters." Padma said.
"She's the girl that got fucked in the bathroom by Malfoy who's wearing a costume of the bloody world! Like she would shoot me-"
Jade squeezed the trigger and the bullet blew off Michael's pinky finger.
"AAAAAARGH!" Michael screamed from the top of his lungs.
"That feels so good. Especially when you broke Draco's leg on him. I was waiting for something like this to happen." Jade said. She squeezed another shot off and it shot the ground, sending Michael and Padma running.
"GET BACK HERE!" Jade thundered running after them.