Part Seven: Baby O' Hara
Jade went to work the next morning, checking up on Elmira, Lavender and Parvati.
"Hey, how's everything going?" Jade asked, bringing a box full of her things for her new office.
"Everything's perfect boss! We're just waiting on you to give us the files!" Elmira said.
Jade went into her office and sorted her files out individually for Elmira and Lavender.
"So here's the deal. These fugitives come in all different kinds of crime, personalities and amount of money. I don't care how much money you want but just please get them back. I have a tight schedule here and I need this amount of money by this month. Do you think you guys can do that?" Jade asked.
"No problem." Elmira said.
"And remember, one of the rules as an Aurseize; don't get caught by muggles and act as normal and unsuspicious as you can. You knock on the door and when he answers, make sure it's him. You tell him your name, who you work for, his charges and that you're going to bring him in and want his full cooperation." Jade said.
"Sounds like a good idea." Elmira said, taking the folders from Jade.
"Sign your name before you make the apprehension and you'll be on your way!" Jade said.
"What happens when I catch him?" Elmira asked.
"You bring his sorry arse back and collect your check. That's my favorite part." Lavender said.
After Lavender and Elmira went off, Jade and Parvati took a lunch break and stood in, seeing Elmira and Lavender bringing back fugitives.
"So Douglas takes me to this really nice restaurant in Hogsmeade and he gives me his key to move in with him!" Parvati said excitedly.
"This is the same man your dog was trying to shag?" Jade asked as Parvati nodded.
"He's amazing. You should meet him." Parvati said.
"I'd love to!" Jade said.
Lavender burst through the doors, her hair a mess and smears of dirt all over her.
"Elmira's been attacked!" she said.
"What?" Jade asked, getting up.
"The Three Broomsticks! We tried to-"
Jade got out of her seat and ran out of the office with Lavender and Parvati behind her.
"This has got to stop." Jade said.
They exited the Ministry of Magic and quickly apparated to the Three Broomsticks. Without missing a beat, Jade shoved the door open and ran in with her wand out in the open.
"Pertrificus Totalus!" Jade shouted. She paralyzed Clarissa in a baby costume, holding a large cake in his hands.
"Save the cake!" Hermione screamed.
Narcissa whipped her wand and flicked it.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" she said.
The cake floated but Clarissa crashed on the floor, the soft padding of her baby costume breaking her fall from a painful one.
"What? What's going on? I thought Elmira was in danger." Jade said, looking at everyone with wild large eyes.
"I told everyone it was a bad idea. She loves me." Elmira said.
"Are you okay Jade? We didn't mean to scare you." Narcissa said, taking out a handkerchief. She patted Jade's forehead and put an arm around her.
"We wanted to surprise you with a baby shower!" she said.
"Got the surprise part down." Aunt Muriel said.
Jade was sat in a very large white chair and she saw all her old friends come up apologizing for the scare and congratulating her with her triplets.
"Hey sweetie." Scarlett said, kissing Jade's cheeks.
"Hi!" Jade said, hugging Scarlett tightly.
"I hardly ever see you around." Jade said, seeing Scarlett's face age quickly and look entirely worn out.
"Transformations are still painful but I'm still coping with it. I didn't want to miss your baby shower for the world." She smiled. Jade smiled back and Scarlett set down her present, letting the other women congratulate Jade.
"Look at you all preggers!" Mona appeared with a black and silver short dress on. Jade hugged and kissed Mona and saw Lola appear in another similar dress that Mona wore but her dress was red.
"Guess what? We're going to be your strippers today!" Mona said.
"Oh jeez." Jade said, looking at Narcissa and Hermione who looked horrified.
"There are no strippers in a baby shower, that's absurd." Narcissa said.
"Sounds taboo." Jonah said with a present in her hands. She quickly hugged and kissed Jade as Ginny help sprout poles from the floor of the Three Broomsticks.
"Sounds taboo? Well I hired a stripper for Jade today; I don't care what anyone says. He'll be here in a couple of minutes." Aunt Muriel said.
Jonah turned to Jade, her face glowing with an excited smile on her face.
"Oh Merlin…you did it?" Jade asked seeing Jonah nod.
"It was the best thing ever!" she said as Jade hugged her tightly.
"You shagged my cousin." Jade said.
Rita walked in, her stomach flatter and carrying a bundle of joy in her arms. All the women crowded around the little baby as Rita introduced him to everyone.
"Everyone, this is Shet Sparks." She said.
Jade cut a look towards Aunt Muriel and Lavender, daring them to laugh but saw that they had already left to get drinks and giggle in a corner.
"He's so handsome." Jade said, touching Shet's chubby cheek.
"And he can't wait to meet his play dates!" Rita said. She kissed Jade's cheeks and handed her, her present.
A couple of other women from Hogwarts came and greeted Jade, congratulating her on her pregnancy. To her surprise, Draco dropped by with Sage, Albert, Blaise and Michael.
"Mum told me about the surprise baby shower and I wanted to see you." he said, kissing her.
"You're not staying?" Jade asked seeing him shake his head.
"Boys night out." He said.
Jade looked over Draco's shoulder, seeing Albert and Blaise engrossed in a conversation with Mona and Lola and she grinned.
"Your boys night out doesn't seem so promising." Jade said. Draco turned around to see Blaise and Albert flirting with both Mona and Lola.
"Meh…I wanted to spend time with you anyways." He said. He gave her one last kiss as the other women awed and he went over to say goodbye to Narcissa and Sage.
Draco walked over to Blaise and Albert but the door swung open and Callum O' Hara appeared with a large blue bonnet and a cloak draped over himself.
"Did someone call for Baby O' Hara?" he asked.
"That's my stripper!" Aunt Muriel said proudly.
Jade watched in horror along with everyone else who didn't think it was funny as Callum O' Hara walked towards her, watching Jade curiously.
"Say…aren't you that lassie-"
"Yes." Jade said.
"Well piss on me grave and call me a gentleman!" Callum exploded.
"I paid you, you know. If you want your gold you better shake what your father gave you." Aunt Muriel said.
Callum made a face and looked around to see Draco standing nearby.
"As long as he won't try anything fishy!" he said, pointing to Draco.
"On my word as an Irish." Aunt Muriel said.
"You're not Irish." Jade said.
"Says you." Aunt Muriel said. "Turn that music on!" Aunt Muriel said.
Loud music started playing and Callum swept his cloak off, revealing that he was only wearing diapers and nothing else.
"Holy mother of Merlin." Jade said as Callum danced vigorously to the music.
"Yeh want to see me pot o' gold? Slap it!" he said, pointing to his arse.
"No! I'm not touching that!" Jade said.
"Slap it!" he said.
"Slap it! Slap it! Slap it!" everyone chanted.
Jade made a face and poked his behind seeing him shake his head and everyone roar in laughter.
"Spank me Mummy! Spank me harder! I've been a baaaaaad boy." He said gyrating his hips against her legs.
"AAAAAAARGH!" Jade screamed.
He crawled on to her lap and placed his feet against the handles of her chair, trying to move his arse against her face. Jade backed away as much as she could and Callum turned around, thrusting his hips right in front of her.
"Please let this be over." Jade said, closing her eyes.
Callum jumped off her and did a few acrobatics and everyone cheered when he finished.
"May yer lives be colored with all the luck, happiness and health this world has teh' offer. May your children come out sane like you are not and as pretty as you and yer mate! Ta!" he said jumping up to catch Aunt Muriel's bag of gold.
He ran out, leaving everyone crying in their own laughter. Blaise, Albert, Michael and Draco left after Blaise and Albert gave their contacts to Mona and Lola and after Michael gave Lavender a long snog.
"We are so back on again." Lavender slurred.
Hermione, Ginny, Parvati and Aunt Muriel wheezed in laughter as Jade sat back, eyeing the alcoholic beverages longingly.
"I think we have to start going soon." Jade said getting up.
"Can someone be my designated apparator PUH-lease?" Hermione asked. Ginny laughed and nodded, getting up.
"I'll take you home!" she said in a deep voice.
They laughed again and Aunt Muriel started clawing at her dress.
"My hooters are sweating in this dress!" Aunt Muriel said.
Jade got up and apparated out with Lavender and Hermione. She made sure Lavender was safely in and sleeping on her bed and took Hermione to her home where Ron was taking care of Rose and Hugo.
"Thanks Jade. How was the baby shower?" Ron asked as Hermione leaned into him, giggling.
"Aunt Muriel got me a leprechaun stripper." Jade said.
"Fun stuff." He said.
"I'll erm…leave." Jade said seeing Ron nod.
"Let's read Hogwarts: A History." Hermione said as Ron's face got bright red.
Jade apparated back to the Three Broomsticks and picked up Ginny and Aunt Muriel. She locked the place up, every second passing as if it were her last. When she finally locked up and apparated to the Burrow to drop Ginny off with Molly and Arthur, she went to her father's house to drop Aunt Muriel.
"Maybe you should paint with me! Kneazles! All types of them!" Aunt Muriel said.
"Nah, I'll just go home and chew Draco's brains out." Jade said. She took out the keys since her father was already sleeping.
"Be a good girl Aunt Muriel and go to bed. Love you." Jade said, kissing Aunt Muriel goodbye.
"Those chicken fuckers." She mumbled, closing her eyes.
Jade pulled the covers over her and tip toed down the stairs. She made a quick detour in the kitchen and found a chocolate layer cake sitting innocently on the counter covered with a glass cover. Jade took the entire cake in her arms and left her father's house, eating the cake on a plate she was borrowing from her father.
"Shit." Jade said softly, sucking on her fingertips. She locked her father's door and pocketed her keys, still eating the chocolate cake hungrily. She walked down the stairs of the porch and when she looked up to apparate, she saw Harry standing in front of her, lightly amused by her display.
"Caught you, chocolate thief." He said.
Jade felt her arms numb in horror and the cake fell from her hands, onto the grass. Her eyes welled up in fear and her throat tightened.
Harry looked at the cake and back at Jade, his smile vanished.
"Get away from me." Jade whispered, stepping back. Harry was silent, trying to read her. Jade turned around and ran for it, towards her father's house but Harry caught her in time, picking her up.
"No!" Jade screamed and kicked.
Before Jade knew it, they had apparated.