The Aurseize

Part Two: Ugly, Fatty and Both

A few months passed by and Jade still kept her job as an Aurseize. She kept making her apprehensions and they were all as awkward and rough than the ones she had seen James Bond do. During these few months, the only time Jade got to see Draco was while going through the Ministry.

"Aunt Muriel I have to be at the Ministry by 12." Jade said seeing Aunt Muriel place a finger on her lips. Jade looked at Ginny for help. "Me too Aunt Muriel. We've been in this store the whole morning and I have patients to see!" Ginny said. Jade grinned at Ginny, knowing full well that she didn't have work today.

"I'm trying to see which one makes me look like a seductress. Would Henry like this?" Aunt Muriel asked turning around in a hot pink senior citizens dress.

"It looks de-li-cious on you Aunt Muriel." Jade said. Aunt Muriel gave a small shrug and went back into the changing room to get dressed.

"Even if the bloke had cataracts he'd be able to spot Aunt Muriel a mile away." Ginny said. Jade checked her watch, seeing that there was only 5 minutes to 12.

"Does Ron yell at you if you're late?" Ginny asked, seeing Jade shake her head.

"He doesn't care. As long as I'm there, bringing back his criminals he's happy." Jade said.

"Mmm…so what's going on between you and Malfoy?" Ginny asked. Jade sunk into her seat a little.

"I don't care what that chicken fucking prick does with his life. I turned him in and got my money, that's all I care about." Jade said.

"Well I heard his ex girlfriend is going bonkers over him. They had a pretty nasty fight rumor has it." Ginny said.

"Oh?" Jade asked feeling her body tense.

"She wants him, he doesn't want her. Who knows how many girls he's done that to. Though I never found the appeal…" Ginny said. Aunt Muriel got out of the stall and Ginny and Jade got out of their seats to pay for the dress. When the dress was paid for, Ginny and Jade gave Aunt Muriel a kiss on the cheek and watched her apparate away.

"Ready to go to the Ministry?" Jade asked seeing Ginny nod. They apparated to the Ministry and Jade looked around to find a familiar blonde head.

'What are you doing? Why are you looking for him?' the sensible part of Jade asked.

'I'm looking for you-know-who.' The dumb part responded.

Jade believed that she consisted a lot of the dumb parts. Jade walked into the Aurseize Office and saw Parvati and Lavender sitting there, talking to each other.

"Jade! Oh my God, Ginny! What the hell are you doing here?" Lavender asked jumping up.

"Well I kind of work here." Jade said, taking some files from Parvati.

"And I came to help Jade today on an apprehension. I thought it was really cool when she got to stab a man in the arse." Ginny said.

"Oh that's right! I heard you stabbed him twice there? And you even rolled around in your own vomit. Though I don't think I'd want to do that, I'd sure like to be a part of an apprehension!" Lavender said.

"Well you can come along with me if you want." Jade said seeing Lavender jump up.

"Definitely!" she said. She was wearing white high boots with spike heelsand a light purple micro mini dress.

"That's not fair! How come you all get to go on an apprehension hunt when I sit here for the red monkey in there?" Parvati asked pointing to Ron's office.

"Well you should have thought of that before you took this post up sweetie." Lavender said, flipping her long brown hair. They heard someone walk in and turned around to see Harry Potter. Ginny, Lavender and Parvati looked star struck. Jade heard Ginny and Lavender quietly suck their breath in.

"Hey." Harry said nodding at them. He walked over to Parvati who quickly handed him his files. Ginny took a seat, placing a hand over her chest and Jade watched Lavender walk over towards Parvati's table, leaning against it.

"Hi Harry." Lavender said. Harry looked up at Lavender and nodded at her, going back to his file. "I love your gun." Lavender said lowering her head and giving Harry a sly look.

"I don't think you'd say that if you saw me use it Lavender." Harry said.

"I like how my name sounds in your mouth." She said.

Harry closed his file and looked at Lavender that gave everyone in the room chills. Jade decided that she would never flirt with Harry if she wanted to see tomorrow's day. Lavender slowly backed away and laughed nervously.

"Or maybe not." she squeaked.

Harry gave her a small smirk and left the Aurseize Office in a flash. They all let out a sigh of relief and Lavender showed everyone the goose bumps on her arms.

"I've fucked every sort of man out there and I've fucked every man that I've wanted but I've never got to fuck a man like Harry Potter." Lavender said. Ginny scoffed.

"I don't know anyone who did. Is he interested in women?" Ginny asked. The girls in the room gasped.

"Ginny Weasley watch that mouth of yours or I will douse it with soap!" Parvati said.

"Harry Potter gay? I hope not, it'll break my heart. But then again he might be those few that have no interest in men and women at all." Lavender said. Everyone was in silence, thinking about the idea. That made more sense than him being interested in men.

Jade, Lavender and Ginny took their brooms to Morgan Dunnohow's home.

"So when are we going to start throwing Unforgivables around?" Lavender asked.

"We never use Unforgivables on them!" Jade said. Lavender scoffed and Jade knocked on the door.

"Parvati told me Harry uses Unforgivables all the time." Lavender told Ginny.

"No one's answering the door." Jade said, trying to look in through the windows.

"Hey! Open up! We're important people from the Ministry!" Lavender yelled, pounding on the door.

"Hasta la Vista baby!" Ginny added. Lavender and Jade turned around to look at Ginny who shrugged.

"What? It sounded cool when The Terminator said it." Ginny said. A woman next door opened her window and poked her head outside.

"Why are you girls making such a ruckus?" the woman asked.

"Get your skinny arse back in the window and mind your own business." Lavender pointed.

"You purple whore!" the woman shot back.

"Eat my-"

"Don't even say it. Ma'am we're trying to fine Morgan Dunnohow, do you know where she might be?" Jade asked seeing the woman answer by going into her home and shutting the window.

"Morgan's at her wedding rehearsal. I'll give you the address if you show me what I want." A gawky teenage boy with braces said. Jade, Lavender and Ginny curled their lips in disgust.

"You're talking to the wrong kind of prostitute honey, even I have standards." Lavender said.

"You're ugly anyways." The boy said.

"You shouldn't have said that." Lavender said dangerously.

"Oh really? What are you going to do about it? Prove me wrong by sleeping with me?" he asked. Then he looked at Ginny. "And you're fat." He said.

"What?!" Ginny roared. Then he turned his head towards Jade and nodded.

"You're boobs aren't even big." Jade felt her boobs shrink and her insecurity being hit right on the spot. She wasn't going to sleep with the boy to prove him wrong, she was going to kill him and that's what Lavender and Ginny were probably going to do too. "It's okay, come to Daddy." He said opening his arms.

Ginny and Lavender looked at each other and started walking down the stone stairs, smiling at the boy.

"What's your name stud?" Lavender asked sweetly. He cocked a grin.

"It's Alex…but I like being called stud."

"Alex…oooh…do you have a mother Alex?" Ginny asked, tracing a finger down his neck. Alex giggled like a little girl, closing his eyes tightly.

"Yeah I have a Mommy." He said.

"Aww." Lavender and Ginny said.

"Good, and you better hope she doesn't miss you because we're going to fucking kill you!" Jade said. They tied Alex up and Jade pointed to him.

"You messed with the wrong girls!" Jade yelled.

"Hell yes you did! Go Lavender, you take a shot at him first!" Ginny said. Lavender nodded and shook her arms out.

"All right! I'll hit him after Jade does." Lavender said.

"What? Me?" Jade asked.

"What you never hit a person before?" Lavender asked.

"Yeah I did but…not because he said my boobs were too small." Jade said.

"You're boobs really are small." Alex said.

"I thought you were an Aurseize. How are you a Weasley? Show some balls and hit this fucker!" Ginny said, pushing Jade.

"You hit him if you're Weasley enough!" Jade yelled. They heard sirens and lights and turned around to see a couple of Aurors flying in with their brooms.

"Is there a problem here? Holy crap it's Jade Weasley." Blaise said. Draco flew in and grinned to see Jade.

"Well, well, well. What seems to be the problem with our favorite Aurseize?" Draco asked. Lavender held up her hands.

"It wasn't my fault. All I know is that Jade went ape shit when he said her boobs were too small. I was only here for emotional support." Lavender said. With that, she apparated.

"That liar!" Jade said. Ginny chuckled nervously and looked at her watch.

"Gee, I think I have work to do. Bye-bye." Ginny said, apparating. Alex groaned on the floor.

"Ugly and Fatty are gone…now I'm stuck with both." He said, looking at Jade.

Draco and Blaise suppressed a snort and Jade was torn between ripping the kid in pieces.

"I can see why you tied him up. The lady next door sent us an owl because you were harassing him and looked like you all had no clue how to start. Is that true?" Draco asked touching Jade's waist.

"Uh…no." Jade said. Draco leaned in and kissed her hard, taking a feel of her breast.

"Good…problem solved. And by the way, those boobs are phenomenal. Why don't you and I arrange a play date?" he asked. Jade pushed him off seeing him chuckle.

"I'd love to stick around and chat but you make me nauseous." Jade said. Blaise feigned a swoon in a high pitched voice, imitating Jade.

"Oh Draco you make me so hot." Blaise mimicked.

"Real mature." Jade said.

"Ah let her off the hook…or else she'll vomit on you and stab you in the arse." Draco joked.

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