The Aurseize

Part Two: Have A Fucking Cookie

Jade walked through the Auror Department, ignoring Blaise who whistled after her.

"Hey Weasley? Are you okay?" Blaise asked. Jade only stomped off and went down the stairs and out of the building to take Harry's broom to Morgan Dunnowhow. When she walked through the empty telephone booth, she was met face to face with Draco Malfoy.

"Well if it isn't the Devil herself. I was just thinking about you-"

"Fuck off, I'm not in the mood." Jade said, shoving him aside.

She apparated and appeared back in Morgan's house and she knocked on the door, seeing it open to a couple of women who were rushing out, wearing pink frilly outfits.

"Are you here for the wedding?!" one woman asked frantically.

"Er…" Jade said. "Well are you going to the wedding or not?!" she asked.

"Yeah I'm going to the wedding…Morgan's wedding right?" Jade asked seeing her nod. There was a sound of a honk and Jade turned around to see one of those muggle convertibles. A man in a tuxedo pressed on the horns.

"She's going to walk down the aisle in ten minutes!" the man yelled.

"Why don't you all just apparate?" Jade asked. Everyone turned to her and from the looks on their faces, they were probably contemplating on which planet she was dropped from.

"Apparating? We need to arrive in style. Apparation is for losers. Are you coming with us or not? I can't believe you're going to be wearing that on Morgan's wedding." The woman said, hurrying over to the car. Jade was stuffed to the backseat of the convertible with the rest of the women. She was the oddball of the group. Three women crammed from the sides, wearing the ridiculously overstuffed pink dresses and Jade was sitting there, wearing a navy blue T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans.

"So how do you know Morgan?" a girl next to Jade asked. Jade turned around, meeting the girls green eyes.

"It's complicated." Jade said. They spoke for a while and Jade started to feel bad that she was going to arrest a woman on her wedding day. She should have asked Ginny and Lavender to come in case everyone ganged up on her and tried to kill her. The car came to a stop and they all walked out, into a small chapel.

"Where is she?" Jade asked to the green eyed girl. The girl pointed to a small room with a glass door a few feet away from the actual ceremony. Jade nodded and went to walk over but felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around seeing Lavender and Ginny standing there, bright eyed.

"How did you guys get here?" Jade asked.

"We apparated to Morgan's house and saw you getting into the muggle car and followed you here. What are we going to do now? I'm ready for some butt kicking!" Ginny said rubbing her hands.

"No! No butt kicking. You both just stand out here. That's it." Jade said seeing them start to protest. Jade left and knocked on the glass door.

"Come in." a slurred voice said from inside. Jade opened the door and poked her head inside, seeing Morgan Dunnohow in her wedding dress, her wedding veil a mass of mess, arranged on her head and a big bottle of Thunderwhiskey.

"Um…aren't you getting married in a few minutes?" Jade asked. Morgan giggled, flushing red.

"Yep!" she said.

"And you're getting shit faced?" Jade asked, taking out her wand. Morgan nodded again.

"YEP!" she squeaked, starting to giggle uncontrollably.

"Okay well my name is Jade Weasley and I work in the Aurseize Office of the Ministry of Magic. I've come to escort you for murdering Tim 'Big Guns' Schick." Jade said when she read off of the paper. Morgan's eyes grew larger than golf balls.

"Fuck off! I'm not going anywhere! That son of a bitch deserved to go to hell with my bullet in his mouth!" Morgan yelled. Jade suddenly felt uncomfortable, she heard silence on the other side of the room.

"He pimped me and never gave me the money I deserved! I whored around and around until my vagina felt like it was gonna fall out! Now I'm marrying a guy who doesn't know that I was a whore. He has sooooo much money; I don't need to do any of the whoring stuff! I'm marrying a Healer!" she yelped, standing up. Jade went to lock Morgan's hands but Morgan dug under her dress and came up with a revolver pointed in the dead center of Jade's eyes.

"You can't take me! Run bitch!" Morgan shrilled.

Jade dropped to the ground as Morgan started firing off rounds. The glass doors shattered and Jade heard people screaming.

"Fuck! No more bullets!" Morgan screamed. She went to the broken glass door, turned the handle and opened it, stumbling out into a run. Jade peeked over her hands and saw that Morgan was long gone. She instantly got up and ran through what used to be a glass door and saw Lavender and Ginny hiding under a refreshment table, shoveling cookies in their mouth, and their eyes wide with fear.

"Jade! You didn't die!" Ginny said relieved.

"Have a fucking cookie!" Lavender said, stretching the plate out.

Jade ran out of the chapel and saw Morgan running into the reception area. She followed her and entered the grand hall, seeing Morgan standing in front of her gigantic 5 tier wedding cake and staring at it as if it was the Philosopher's Stone. Jade's mouth watered and she started feeling herself twitch. She wanted cake and she wanted it badly.

"I really have to take you down to the Ministry Morgan. Don't make this hard for me." Jade said seeing Morgan snap around.

"I'm not leaving until I eat a piece!" Morgan said. Morgan grabbed a handful of cake and slapped it in her mouth, munching feverishly. Jade scratched her head, wondering why she was even keeping this job that required going after loonies. Before she could even respond to herself, a large sugary piece of soft and foamy white cake hit her face.

"You'll never catch me!" Morgan yelled.

Jade wiped the cake from her eyes and launched herself at Morgan. Jade felt Morgan hit her on the head and Jade hit back. They both were choking each other angrily, swinging side to side and coughing but not giving up. Suddenly, they both fell together and knocked the cake down which fell from its glory onto Jade and Morgan who rolled around, hitting, scratching, tearing and pulling.

"You tore my wedding dress!" Morgan said as Jade locked Morgan's hands together.

"Well you tore my T-shirt!" Jade yelled back. They heard a couple of voices clearing and Jade looked up to see Draco standing there with his hands on his hips and a large smile on his face with Albert Chung and a couple of other Aurors.

"And I thought I hated this job." Albert said mockingly.


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