The Aurseize

Part Two: Vegan Doughnuts and Soymilk

"Well look who the Kneazle dragged in. You burned up the old memorial home…though I don't blame you sweetie, Marjorie and her friends were bitter pieces of crap!" Lavender said when Jade walked in.

"You really outdid yourself there Jade. But you sort of didn't burn Marjorie because she's still well intact." Parvati said from her seat.

"Fuck yes her bony and saggy arse is well intact. I heard what happened to Aunt Muriel though, is she all right?" Lavender asked.

Lavender was wearing a ridiculously low cut electric blue top with a short denim skirt and laced up black heels. Lavender always looked good no matter what the weather.

"She's fine now. I spoke to her this morning and she told me she would have liked to punch the person who hit her over the head and Marjorie." Jade said.

"Tell your Aunt Muriel that I'd love to accompany her to hit Marjorie. Anything that's remotely related to Parkinson and you can count on me to throw a Cruciatus Curse at it." Lavender said.

Jade looked away and her eye caught a familiar blonde woman greeting the man that drove her to the borders of insanity. Rita kissed Draco on the lips and handed him a bag of food that he half heartedly took. They said a few things to each other and they kissed again.

"Um Jade…you're killing Morty Spelling." Parvati said to Jade who looked at Parvati.

"What?" Jade asked. Parvati pointed to the file in Jade's hand and she saw that she crumpled her file completely.

"Shit." Jade said.

"It would have been nice to see Marjorie's head in your hands while you're watching Rita and Malfoy snog each other to death." Lavender said.

"She looks so…happy." Parvati said cocking her head to the side. The three of them saw Rita wearing a sunny yellow dress with white imprints.

"Is this why I don't have a boyfriend? Honestly?" Jade asked turning towards Parvati and Lavender who looked her up and down.

"You're not the dressy type. You're more of the…you know…T-shirt, jeans and leather boots kind of girl. Oh what a coincidence, you're wearing them now!" Lavender said.

Jade scowled and turned back around to see Rita walking around, handing everyone a doughnut from a doughtnut box.

"Kiss up." Parvati said going back to her seat.

Jade took her file and went to march out but Rita came through the door, smiling ever so brightly.

"Jade! Draco told me what happened yesterday! How's your shoulder?" Rita asked.

Jade nodded, trying to find if Rita was genuinely being nice or just faking it. She looked scary being so happy.

"I'm doing ok now." Jade said.

Rita gave Jade a sympathetic smile and lifted the lid on the doughnut box.

"Well have a doughnut! I made them myself! They're yeast doughnuts." Rita said as Jade, Parvati and Lavender selected a doughnut.

"Yeast doughnut?" Jade asked, looking at the doughnut herself. It looked like a doughnut but did it taste like one?

Lavender and Parvati started choking and Rita started to worry.

"Oh no! Don't worry, I have milk!" she said, placing the box down and running out to get milk.

"Help!" Lavender choked out.

Ron opened his door and looked at Parvati and Lavender.

"Are they coughing up hairballs again?" he asked. He saw the box of doughnuts on Parvati's table and picked one up.

"Nice." He said. He crammed it into his mouth and his face twisted horribly.

"Who the fuck made this?!" he sputtered with pieces of particles flying out of his mouth.

Jade looked at her doughnut and decided not to share the same fate Parvati and Lavender was sharing. Ron dropped his doughnut and coughed , wiping his tongue with his bare hand.

"I have milk!" Rita said, appearing with a few cartons of milk.

Ron, Parvati and Lavender jumped at Rita for the milk, hastily opened it and chugged the milk down, only to throw it back up again.

"WHAT IS THIS?! THIS ISNT MILK!" Ron yelled. Rita frowned.

"It's soymilk!" she said.

"Soymilk? Soy-fucking-milk? You don't have any regular shit?!" Lavender asked taking out a flask of liquor from her purse. Parvati opened her table drawer and scooped up a couple of mini bottles of liquor. She twisted one open and shot one down.

"I'll give you a raise." Ron said taking a few bottles from her. He went into his office, slammed the door shut and everyone heard him getting his other bottle from his office closet.

"This is absolutely healthy food." Rita said wistfully. Jade looked around the entire place that was filled with regurgitated doughnut and soymilk.

"It's okay Rita. I ate it. It tastes delicious." Jade said hearing Lavender snort.

"My arse you ate it." Lavender said. Rita smiled and hugged Jade tightly.

"You're such a nice person…even though you eat chickens and cows." She said.

Jade patted Rita's back and saw Draco, Blaise, Albert and the rest of the Auror Department staring at them.

"And you're a good person too…even though you eat none of them." Jade said. Rita flashed Jade a brilliant smile and wiped her eyes.

"Okay well, I'll be off then. Bye everyone!" Rita said.

Lavender and Parvati grunted, slouching against their chair. Rita went to leave and Harry walked, holding the door for her.

"Hello Harry Potter! Would you like a doughnut?" she asked opening a box of doughnuts for him.

"Uh oh." Parvati said in a low voice.

"I'm not a fan of doughnuts…it's fattening." He said.

"But they're yeast doughnuts. I'm a vegan so I made them with yeast and no sugar." Rita said.

Harry reached in, took out a doughnut and took a large bite of it. Everyone in the room stilled, watching him carefully. Jade feared that if Harry didn't like it, he would pull out his muggle gun and shoot Rita. Maybe that would broaden her horizons with Draco. Harry chewed and swallowed.

"Hmm…this is delicious." He said, taking another bite out of it. Rita smiled excitedly and encouraged him to have another doughnut. Harry took two extra ones and Rita set off, as happy as she could be.

"I take it no one else liked these doughnuts as much as I did?" Harry asked, seeing the pieces of doughnuts and soymilk on the floor.

"Damn right we didn't. That was the most ungodly thing I've ever had in my life. I'm depressed now so I'll probably stop buy a store and pick up a real doughnut. Goodbye everyone." Lavender said, grabbing her purse. Harry turned to Jade and took the soymilk from her hand.

"This stuff is good for you, you know." He said eating another doughnut.

"Ough…I'd rather die from starvation than eat whatever you're having." Jade said seeing him chuckle.

He took his file from Parvati and went to leave but Jade stopped him.

"Do you think you could help me just a tiny bit?" Jade asked.

"Depends on what you want and what I can get out of it." Harry said.

Jade slowly stood away from him and held up Marjorie's file. Harry let out a bark of laughter and took the file from her.

"You need help apprehending an old woman?" he asked still laughing. Jade cringed in embarrassment and Harry swung an arm around her.

"I'll help you catch your old woman." He said, guiding them out of the door.

Jade walked down the Auror department to see Draco, Blaise and Albert cramming down frosted, custard filled, jelly filled, powdered, glazed and all kinds of doughnuts in their mouths.

"Those better be vegan doughnuts." Jade said going to take one. Harry caught her by the shirt and Blaise moved the box away from Jade.

"Get your own doughnut sister. This is ours." Blaise said.

"Did you eat any of that crap? I'm sorry Draco, I know she's your girlfriend and all but she almost killed me today." Albert said as Blaise nodded. Draco shrugged, taking another doughnut.

"You didn't have to eat it you know." He said.

"How the hell were we supposed to know that was a vegan doughnut? Shit…I need a drink." Blaise said.

Draco saw the look on Jade's face while she watched the doughnut and he grinned, bringing up the box for her.

"Do you want one?" He asked. Jade's eyes lit up and she gasped.

"Really?" Jade asked.

"It's going to go straight to your hips." Harry said. Jade turned to Harry and felt around her hips.

"One little doughnut won't do a lot of damage will it?" Jade said.

"Maybe you should listen to Potter. It'll be your hips, your stomach and if you're lucky, it'll go to the right places." Blaise winked. Jade gave Blaise a disgusted look, took a powdered doughnut and left.

"So Malfoy has a girlfriend?" Harry said. Jade flinched and ate her doughnut.

"She's nice…in a freak show kind of way." Jade said. Harry crossed his arms and leaned against the elevator walls.

"Those doughnuts were healthy." He said.

Jade shrugged and brushed off the powder from her shirt. They walked out and into the street where Harry took out his broom. It was a mahogany 'Expedium 5000' with neat and straight bristles that were trimmed and golden.

"Where do you get the money to get this?" Jade asked seeing him slightly smile.

"It's a story for another day. I'll be in your apartment one of these days and you can walk in on me like you did last night and we'll talk about it one day." Harry said as Jade boarded on the broom behind him.

"Gee…I can't wait for that again." Jade said holding on to him.

"Hold on tight. We don't want you to fall from the broom again." He said feeling Jade hold on tighter.


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